~~my things

So I was playing with my family awhile back- my character was a male dwarf warrior, my dad had a rogue, mom had a barbarian, you get it. But the main part is that my dwarf was supposedly this macho guy who didn’t take shit from anyone.

My dad(the DM): alright so when you guys get out of the building, there are 3 men waiting for you.

Mom: do they want to fight us?
(We’re all low on health)

Dad: yes, they’re very angry

Mom: alright well can I roll to intimidate?
(She rolls a 5)

Dad: yeah that didn’t work

My Brother(who’s a cleric): well maybe if we-

Me: fuck it. I’m gonna seduce them.

Dad: alright.. well, roll for it.

(I roll a 20- everyone was watching in suspense and after the roll literally everyone is in tears from watching my dad’s surprised expression)

Dad: what do you say to them?

Me: hey… big boys..

Dad: alright, seducing then worked and one of them has now asked for your hand in marriage

You're doing WHAT to the god?

Context: the players had just taken part in a ritual allowing them to see and interact with a god’s aspect. The players are: a teifling warlord (Ea), a halfling rogue (Octavia), and a dragonborn paladin (Rhogar), we had an elf ranger (Stasi) and a skeleton fighter (Bone Daddy) missing from the session. And then there’s me, the GM…

GM: so, as you bite into the bug, the fog around you lifts. You see an impossibly tall man who looks to be cut out of marble - both in colour and physique. His face is polished into a smooth curve from the eyes down; he has no nose or mouth.

Octavia: I want to take something from him

GM: uhhhh you can try if you like?

[Rest of Party]: oh no please no

Octavia: I’m looking for anywhere he’d hide valuables on him

GM: well, his hair occasionally glows green, probably more bugs like the ones you just consumed; you don’t see anywhere else he could hide something

Rhogar (ooc): wait is he naked?

GM: yeah, you’re not seeing anywhere he could hide something unless, y'know…

>players faff about and behave civilized for a bit, GM is lured into a false sense of security<

Octavia: wait before we go, I want to steal from him

GM: WHAT? How?

Octavia: I’m going to “check his back pocket”

GM: oh no, okay fine. Roll for it.

>Octavia rolls a 1<

GM: you stride up to Varitriel (the god) while he and everyone else stares at you; confident you’re concealed, you go to erhm, “check his pockets” and accidentally caress his undercarriage as you do. He reels back, eyes burning, about to strike you.

Octavia: it was… a trick! (bluff)

>Octavia rolls a 4

4

8/11/17

AT THIS PERFORMANCE OF
DEAR EVAN HANSEN
THE ROLES OF

HEIDI HANSEN WILL BE PLAYED BY GARRETT LONG
EVAN HANSEN WILL BE PLAYED BY MICHEL LEE BROWN
ZOE MURPHY WILL BE PLAYED BY OLIVIA PUCKETT


GUESS WHAT I SAW LAST FRIDAY

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