~the~ outlaw

Trauma and Healing: PTSD [Jason Todd x Reader]

A/n: So sorry this took so long to get out. I had a bit of trouble getting this done, just experienced a bit of writers block with it. I hope you guys like it!

Italicized = Flashback

Warnings: Mental Illness (PTSD), Mentions of abuse, flashback to abuse

Tagging: @cherryignacio @queen-of-all-the-fandoms @crazyfangirl1810

(I’ve started tagging in my series fics, if you’re interested message me loves)

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3

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Ch. 4 PTSD

The way the needle slid into your skin felt exactly like it did when your captors used to drug you. A prick of pain that never changes no matter how many times it happens. You felt the blood begin to be pulled from the vein. As the blood began to slip away so did your connection to your mind.

You struggled against the men holding you down. A blood curdling scream erupted from your throat, you’re having one of your episodes that accompany the voices. They screamed in your head as you thrashed and fought.

“Hold her still!” A man yelled, flicking a syringe that had an antipsychotic in it.

“We can’t! The crazy bitch is strong!” One of the lackeys growled as you only thrashed and screamed harder.  “Then knock some sense into her!” The man wielding the syringe yelled again.

One of the men grabbed the back of your neck while the other sent a slug across your cheek. The pain made you freeze enough for the man to plunge the syringe into into your vein. The sedative knocking you out and the drug blocking out the voices.

“[F/n]!” Feeling a jolt of someone shaking your shoulder brought you back. The moment you snapped back to reality you yanked the needle IV out of your arm. Standing so fast the chair toppled over behind you. Now realizing your labored breathing and the thin layer of sweat on your brow.

Scanning the room you saw them all staring at you. Noticing how Jason and Roy were now in front of you rather than the wall. Concluding that one of them or Kori had been the one to snap you out of the flashback. Feeling as their eye bore into your skin, “W-why are you staring at me? W-why are you..?” trailing off to catch your breath.

Not being able to take their eyes anymore you pushed by them all and ran out of the apartment. Faintly hearing someone yell for you to ‘wait,’ but you were too far to hear who it was.

Stomping down the stairs to reach the main doors to the apartment building. Rushing out you picked a direction and just ran. Following wherever the sidewalk took you. The images of the flashback rushing through your head, not realizing the gash you caused by yanking out the IV earlier. Blood stained the sleeve of the sweater Kori lent you.

Winding a corner into an alley you pressed your back against the brick wall, struggling to get air into your lungs. Feeling tears pool into your eyes, letting out a small whimper you squatted down, hiding your face in your hands. Small whimpers and cries escaping your throat.

Wiping the tears from your face, you stood up. Tucking your hands in your pockets while exiting the alleyway. Eyes searching the surrounding to only discover you were lost. You had been running mindlessly, not knowing exactly what triggered that fight or flight response.

Looking down, noticing the blood on the sweater. You rolled up your sleeve so the blood wasn’t visible any longer.  Letting out a sigh you looked side to side before picking a direction and beginning to walk. Hands shoved further in your pockets, bowing your head to avoid eye contact with passersby. Walking what felt like the whole city as daylight passed over your head. Watching as the sky would begin to darken gradually as the sun crossed the sky.


Jason had run out after you, finding the sidewalk busy but without you on it. Swearing to himself he heard Roy and Kori coming out after him. “You guys search that way, I’ll go this way” he called before running off. Roy and Kori couldn’t get a single word in, it’s strange for him to act this impulsive. Yes, Jason works on instinct but he’s usually more calculated. Roy and Kori simply exchanged a look, running in the direction they were told.

They need to find you and fast. With your powers being unstable who knows what could set them off.

“Dammit Kori what have we done? We promised to protect her and now she’s lost in the city. Some protectors we are.” Roy growled, beating himself up over the matter. They promised to protect you and now, you’re lost in the city somewhere.

“You mustn’t think like that Roy. We will find her. There wasn’t any stopping her from those tests. Now let’s think, if you needed to calm down, where would you go in Coast City?” She questioned as they continued to look. Roy smiled, “Kori you’re a genius! Let’s go!” diverting their direction toward the coast. Something about the ocean seemed to calm almost anyone down, this was the best lead they had.

They came up to a nearby beach, taking the path that would’ve been the most likely for you to have taken. Both sets of eyes scanned the beach until Kori’s gaze landed on your back. “There” she pointed, seeing you with your knees pulled to your chest. Just staring out at the endless blue. The sun was setting, leaving the sky a mix of soft pinks and reds. It was very relaxing, they could see why you were drawn here.

Approaching you cautiously, Kori broke you out of your trance gently. “[F/n]” she placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. Though your body acted on it’s own as you jerked away, quickly turning to face them. Breathing labored like earlier, they had just pulled you out of another flashback. One back to a night your captors had you ‘working.’

“Easy, it’s just us” Roy spoke comfortingly, trying to calm your nerves. It worked, your breathing leveled while looking at the two people you consider friends. “[F/n] are you alright? What happened?” he asked.

You simply diverted your eyes, “I-I don’t want to talk about it.” Scratching at your arm nervously. They were suspicious, why couldn’t they get you to open up? But all honesty this is only your second day staying with them. It’s not surprising you’re being reserved, they just worry about you.

Kori’s eyes traced down your arms, vision catching the blood. “Oh my gosh!” she took your arm and pushed the sleeve up, revealing a semi deep gash. “Let’s get you back to the apartment and get this cleaned up.” She offered. Hesitantly you nodded.

They led you back to the apartment. Roy had called Jason and told him to meet them there. You were able to hear how frantic Jason was over the phone, was he really that worried about you? Jason was the one you’ve gotten closest to so far, but you didn’t think that he cared so much.

Coming into the apartment you heard boots bounding. Soon enough you were engulfed in a hug and by that familiar scent of cigarettes, gun powder, and green apple. A once again, rather comforting combination.

You wanted nothing more to relish in Jason’s scent but you couldn’t. Pushing out of his arms you smiled shyly before going past him and into the bathroom. You couldn’t face them right now, especially having heard Batman and Green Arrow in the apartment when you returned. You couldn’t face the people you consider friends, how could you face those two?

Kori and Roy stared at Jason as you walked by him. He rose an eyebrow at them “What?” They just smirked and shrugged before meeting Bruce and Oli in the living room.

“You found her?” Oliver asked with his bow slung over his shoulder. Roy nodded, “Yeah, we found her at the beach. She was zoning, I’m worried about her.”

“Well, from the way she had that attack, it seems like she has PTSD.” Oliver offered up an explanation. “That makes sense, she did go through hell and back.” Jason stated while looking over at his teammates. “What about the tests? Did you get anything from them?”

Bruce nodded, “She’s definitely a meta, but the gene isn’t enhancing her physically, more mentally. Which might be another explanation of these voices she has been hearing.” He stated bluntly. Eyes staying glued on Jason before both his and Oliver’s alerts went off, telling them the league needs them.

“We’ll tell her. You both go.” Roy nodded before the two made their leave. Of course they used the window.

“Who should tell [F/n]?” Kori asked looking at the boys. “Jay I think you should, you have her trust the most.” Roy appealed while looking at the marksman. Jason nodded before heading to the bathroom door, he knocked lightly, Roy and Kori only a few feet behind him. When you didn’t answer he knocked on the door again and called your name. No answer again.

He sighed, turning the knob to see it was unlocked, “[F/n] I’m coming in” he called before peering his head in. Finding the bathroom empty “What the hell?” whispering while walking in.

“Where is she now?” Roy looked around the empty bathroom, concern evident in his voice. Jason stuck his head out the open window, seeing the fire escape ladders leading up to the roof down. “I know where she is, I’ll be right back” Jason grunted while pulling himself out the window and onto the fire escape.

He climbed the ladders, peeking his head over the ledge. Noticing you sitting on the ledge with your knees pulled to your chest, bringing a cigarette to and from your lips. He had left a pack and lighter up here. Having told you about it the prior night.

Carefully he came up beside you, “May I?” he questioned pointing to the box. You gestured to it “They’re yours.” He chuckled taking one out and lighting it up. You both stayed there in a comfortable silence, enjoying the taste the tobacco left on your tongue.

“They got the results” Jason broke the silence as you let out the drag you just took. “Yeah? What’d they say?”  asking meekly. “It’s positive you’re a meta, but your powers are focused mentally more than physically.” he explained simply. Making it short and sweet for you. Jason examined your face as silence fell between you once more. Telling by the look in your face that you were contemplating or remembering something.

“You know, I died once” tilting his head towards you. Your eyes shot to meet his, “You what?” confusion laced in your tone. Jason simply nodded, “It was when I was still Robin. Bats saved me from the streets, but the Joker, he tricked me into coming to find my mother but it was a trap. I ended up beaten and bloodied with a crowbar on the floor of an abandoned warehouse. Then after I passed I was revived with the Lazarus Pit in Nanda Parbat. Since then I’ve taken a different approach to serving justice, I’m not afraid to take a life if need be. Not that I try to, it’s only if it’s necessary.” His eyes diverting down to his hands.

“Like the man that kept me?” You questioned, [e/c] eyes locked on him. He nodded, “It was either shoot him or let him shoot you. It wasn’t a hard decision.” His comment made you blush. “[F/n] I know what it feels like to feel unwanted, to feel lost and cast out. Trust me I do, so I want you to know that no matter what you can talk to me.” He took your hand in his, “You’re important to me-I mean us. Roy, Kori, and I.”

The blush burned bright red on your face, you simply nodded, not trusting your voice. “Thank you Jason, that means a lot. You’re important to me too.” Gently smiling at him.

He nodded, “Alright. Well, we should be getting back inside before it gets too cold. Plus Roy and Kori are worried about you. Plus lets get that gash bandaged.” Jason smiled at you. Snuffing out your cigarette and re-hiding the box you followed him back down the fire escape. Having a newfound trust in Jason, now knowing his past. When you got back into the apartment, Roy and Kori ended up telling you about their pasts and how they all became the Outlaws as well. It felt nice knowing all of this about them. It made things more intimate between the four of you. It makes you feel safe. 

For the good of us all

OUTLAW QUEEN FANFIC - SEASON 2 AU

In this AU Regina came through the portal into the EF with Emma at the start of Season 2 and Snow was left behind in Storybrooke. We pick up their story the day before Regina and Emma arrive at Lake Nostos to go back to Storybrooke. Assume up until this point Regina and Emma’s journey in the Enchanted Forest has followed the path that Snow and Emma took. 


Enchanted Forest

Regina stared into the glowing flames of the fire in the pit in front of her. Once again thinking over her plan to get the Saviour back to Storybrooke. She was confident that she had considered the myriad of things that could go wrong and had effective contingencies in place but Regina had always been meticulous in her planning and this time so much more was at stake! She physically shuddered at the thought of just how much Henry would hate her if anything went wrong and his precious Emma was unable to get home to him… His real mother she scowled at the words. God it hurt to even think it. Emma “the Saviour” Swan - Henry’s real mother. No matter how many times Henry had said it, screamed it at his adoptive mother, it still burned.

She turned her face away from the flames as tears burned her eyes. He hadn’t even asked once about how she was. She had been stuck for weeks in the Enchanted Forest, traipsing through dirt and mud with the Saviour, facing ogres, Cora, all the while communicating with Henry through Aurora and the effects of a sleeping curse the Saviour had stood by and watched him eat. In all that time, Henry never once asked after her, the woman who had raised him for ten years, when his precious saviour had abandoned him. Never asked if Regina were alive or dead…

Keep reading

Not enough positive things are being said about the way therapy is being portrayed on Once Upon A Time. Literally almost every single character, every single strong hero, has gone to see Archie at some point to talk through some of their feelings. And then when a character tells another character they went to a therapy session, there’s usually nothing but support, love, and concern from that other character. That’s what real life should be like. Say what you want about my favourite show, but if there’s something it’s getting right, it’s this.