kaz: man with a knife, remember?
jes: man with a gun!
the entire who-has-the-biggest-price-on-their-head competition. including, but not limited to: jesper’s disappointment at being worth ‘only’ 30,000 kruge. matthias’ disdain for kaz’s price of 100,000 kruge. kaz acting nonchalant about it all but you know he’s reveling in his spot as No. 1 Wanted Criminal
nina “beguiling” matthias; aka dancing around him and poking his chest
jes: ”sure, im skinny, but i stay drier in the rain.“
jes: “less falls on me.”
matt: why tf are all you people so weird
oYSTERS, MISS?? (made Iconic by the audiobook but still)
kaz just wants to run his hands through inej’s hair and get drunk on her laugh,,,,, boi u in so deep
everything about colm ‘if I’m already aiding, i may as well abet’ fahey and his hat
when matthias, kuwei, and kaz, aka Ketterdam’s Most Wanted, walked into the church of barter under protection of ketterdam law for kuwei’s auction and literally the entire world went nuts bc they couldn’t do anything about it
when inej killed that poisonous lizard thingy in hellgate in the blink of an eye and matthias was like ‘yeah this one’s a demon too’
“I definitely did not tell them to blow up the lab”
wylan: my father is not evil
wylan:*goes to saint hilde, sees what his father did to his mother, has an emotional breakdown in the middle of a road*
wylan: my father is the satan devil incarnate
#ham4crows!! i still cant believe leigh used ‘outgunned and outmanned’ in crooked kingdom
‘moose is probably your native tongue’
when kaz went after the black tips to get inej and spilled “enough blood to paint a barn red” #getbrekked
“you have crumbs on your cleavage”
“don’t care" incredible.
inej’s brass knuckles get ’em girl
when kaz fought the dregs and he ripped two rusty nails out of an axe shaft and used them to gouge out a man’s throat #getbrekked #fightagangdownastaircase
setting raisins on fire
nina; refusing to wake up: “the dead request five more minutes”
WYLAN’S INTERROGATION (!!!) as if i didn’t need to hate Van Eck more. as if i didn’t need to have more feelings about wylan and the people that he loves. as if i didn’t need to be more concerned that the Plan was going to fall through the cracks yet again. as if i d i d n ‘ t
‘be still, little bumblebee’ is…… an actual song in the grishaverse.
kaz,,,,,, c a m l y and p r e c i s e l y sliced up oomen’s face, rAMMED HIS FINGERS INTO HIS EYE SOCKET, RIPPED OUT his en t i r e eyeball from the root, and shoved a handkerchief wet with oomen’s own spit into the hole. without batting an eye. the ultimate #getbrekked.
a friendly reminder that no matter how many bad books we read there’ll always be soc a.k.a the true masterpiece of our time which is like a safe blanket for murder babies and you can throw it over your head and pretend you’re on your way to a big heist or smth equally dangerous (but exciting) :’) and while you’re dreaming of $$$kruge$$$ you might also wanna remember that soc has:
- a bi poc character who didn’t dance around the term hgtawm style and pull some lame explanation out of his ass ala ‘it’s complicated’ but he actually said ‘not just girls’ so yeah confirmed bi poc who’s a KNOWN flirt and everybody praises him for it instead of mocking/shunning him honestly what did we do to deserve jesper fahey - a disabled gang leader who’s literally thE BADDEST BARREL BOSS TO EVER WALK THE STREETS OF KETTERDAM caw caw bitches (he also has severe ptsd, panic attacks, suffers from traumatic flashbacks and experiences nausea and all kinds of ptsd symptoms everytime he (even accidentally) touches someone but does that limit or stop him in any way?? HELL NO MOFOS here comes kaz brekker with his crow cane and he’s about to whoop some ass better beware) - a beautiful, amazing, talented, showstopping, spectacular, never the same woc who is basically?? everyone’s treasure, heart, love, most cherished person ever, role model, etc. etc. and it’s only right tbh inej ghafa owns my entire heart and i’d gladly give it to her over and over again if that would make her smile. she’s been sold into slavery (mentions/hints of prostitution which only adds to her bravery and strength thank you very much) when she was 14 but she managed to leave the past behind her and remain INCREDIBLY kind and humble despite all the shit she’s been through?? there is no character i adore, respect and love more than inej (okay maybe there is and inej calls her sankta alina b y e) - a CANONICALLY. FAT. FEMALE CHARACTER WHO’S JUST!!! AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. HEART-STOPPING (literally). a true inspiration to us all who was also held captive when she was younger, trained by the mighty (goddess on earth) zoya nazyalensky, held captive again - this time by a gross ass, fanatic ass fjerdan nazi soldier/leader and lemme tell you she didn’t even lose her appetite. BOI she wasn’t even fazed. she couldn’t find a single fuck to give & she was determined to move on but she was plagued by guilt so she came back to save/help the boy who helped HER so she’s not just a pretty face and she’s so?? badass and smart and funny and fierce and she’s so fucking PROUD of every roll and curve on her body i could actually cry?? nina zenik, an actual muse for young girls/readers. nina zenik, life & wife goals - a smol (very smol but also kind of a sinnamon roll tbqh? he aspires to be one anyway) angelic boy who comes from a TERRIBLY abusive home bc his father is an actual piece of shit and humiliated him all his life bc wylan couldn’t read. well guess what joke’s on van eck senior bc my boy, my CANONICALLY GAY SON, is smarter than him and his entire sorry lot and he’s gonna take over the world one day, you just wait. also just wants to make things go boom boom POW (usually regarding explosives but also applies to jesper a.k.a THE MOST PERFECT, CARING, WONDERFUL BF EVER) - a big yellow tulip also known as matthias helvar. so matthias is that boy who helped nina escape the clutches of his scary boss and he’s the actual literal embodiment of the grumpy cat. but!!! he undergoes the biggest character development of all imo bc he manages to change for the better (bit by bit, brick by brick) and let me tell you that’s COMMENDABLE. like listen this is a young man who’s been brainwashed into hating everything nina & the rest of kaz’s merry band of misfits stand for. he’s been taught nothing but hate hate and more hate and he manages to turn his back on those prejudices and he opened up so much and we got to see so much more of him in ck and we learned that he’s super kind and sweet and giving, and he’s so pure and wonderful and amazing. he also loves nina zenik A LOT which is smth i can get behind and relate to 100000% - last but not least kuwei, who’s not ~an official~ member of kaz’s vip club (pity pity pity) but. he’s a gay poc (asian!!! the same as tamar&tolya from tgt so please don’t whitewash him, it’s unacceptable) who’s sassy but kind of laid back at the same time and his favourite pastime is to just chill in the back and pretend he’s not listening/doesn’t know the lingo but guess what?? boy is like an international spy bc he understands more than he lets on. he also lost his father (which kind of turned him into a living prize bc everybody wanted him for his knowledge & chemistry skills, like he could probably cook up a deadly virus in three minutes if he was feeling inspired that day - which never happened but still. it’s good to have options) and yet never complained about anything and he just let that drama unroll like 👀👂 I HATE DRAMA 🎧🔍📝 overall deserved better
Concept: Kaz doing street magic shows. And I’m not talking rabbits or silk scarves. He steps into a box, orders Jesper to shoot it, and comes out the bullet-riddled box unscathed. He swallows a pistol and spits back a flood of dry kruge. He tips his hat and a murder of crows flies out of it.
Kaz raised a brow. "I’m sure you’ve heard the stories.”
“Each more grotesque than the last.”
Kaz had heard them, too. Brekker’s hands were stained with blood. Brekker’s hands were covered in scars. Brekker had claws and not fingers because he was part demon. Brekker’s touch burned like brimstone - a single brush of his bare skin caused your flesh to wither and die.
“Pick one,” Kaz said as he vanished into the night, thoughts already turning to thirty million kruge and the crew he’d need to help him get it. “They’re all true enough.”
“Jesper knocking his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”
Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”
“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.”
“What do we do, Kaz?”
“Wait,” he said as the sound grew louder.
“How about ‘take cover ’?” Nina asked, bouncing nervously from foot to
foot. “‘Have heart’? ‘I stashed twenty rifles in this convenient
shrubbery’? Give us something.”
“How about a few million kruge?” said Kaz.
A tank rumbled over the hill, dust and gravel spewing from its treads.
Someone was waving to them from its gun turret – no, two someones. Inej
and Wylan were yelling and gesturing wildly from behind the dome.
Nina let out a victorious whoop as Matthias stared in disbelief. When
Nina looked at Kaz, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes. “Saints, Kaz,
you actually look happy.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. But there was no mistaking it. Kaz Brekker was grinning like an idiot.