~idk what other trigger warnings I can throw in here but

All Yours

Originally posted by hyunqvwon

Character(s): You X Minhyuk, Yoo Kihyun

Genre: smut, slight?romance?? idk its a relationship and they love each other? i think thats how this works??

Warning(s): orgasm denial/edging, slight!degradation, jealous sex (lmao if that’s a warning), dom!minhyuk, slight?sexual tension, semi-public sex

Length: 5.1k

Summary: In which Lee Minhyuk hates that stupid Yoo Kihyun makes him jealous.


Minhyuk is a little childish sometimes. It’s just part of his personality, he says, he’s just a little insecure, just a little possessive.

He knows that you’re his and that he’s yours, but there’s always a little seed of doubt niggling at the back corners of his mind. He’d never try to control you, though, but you can see it in the little things, like the way he pouts, or the way his lips turn down in a frown when he sees you with someone else, or the way he begins to emphasize how much you mean to him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I was reading the headcanon tags and saw that one about overprotective Marco, and I had this idea where tom and Marco are at his (tom's) house and his dad starts being a dick to tom to the point that he forgets Marco is here and start beating tom. Then Marco beats the shit out of him for ever daring to treat his demon like this, while yelling at him that he should treat his son with respect or something... think you could do a fanfic like this?

Of course I can! This was so much fun to write! I worked really hard on it and had a really nice time making it. I’m not sure if it sucks or not, but I hope it doesn’t. I think it’s good but I feel like you guys might hate it. IDK, trigger warning. abuse/violence


Marco sat near his boyfriend and the two smiled at each other, they were laughing happily with each other about just seeing one another again. “I’m so happy you decided to come see me today!” Tom grinned. “It’s gotten lonely here for a while.” He frowned. Marco tilted his head and gave the demon a kiss.

“Why have you been here alone? You could have just teleported over to see me.” Marco suggested. Tom frowned and shook his head.

“No, my dad was upset with me, so he doesn’t want me leaving.” Tom responded. “So he’s been keeping me here for a few weeks.” He explained. This confused Marco. How could somebody keep a person in their home?

“How exactly?” Marco asked.

“Oh it’s called a restricting hex.” Tom explained. “It puts limits on not just my supernatural abilities, but my physical ones as well. I can’t fly, teleport, make a flame, and I’ll start to get really weak if I leave my house. I don’t really have the energy to get about. And i I leave the atmosphere of the underworld, the fire and warmth and such, I’d probably start getting sick.” Tom made a face. He’s tried it before.

Marco tucked his hair behind his ear and tried to think of a situation where that sort of thing was acceptable. “I don’t… I don’t think you should have to go through that.” Marco mumbled. Tom looked up curiously, and then smiled warmly.

“Oh no, it sounds worse than it is, I promise.” Tom assured. This made Marco feel a little better about his boyfriend’s situation. “As long as I stay in my room and don’t act out of line, I’ll be fine!” Tom chirped. Marco went back to worrying after he said that.

“What do you mean by that?” Marco asked. “Does your dad have control over it? The hex I mean.” Marco added. Tom nodded.

“Yeah… he can make it cat up if I start to act out of line.” He said this part a little warily but then snapped back. “But it’s a good thing! I deserve punishment if I act how he doesn’t approve. He’s my father, I should do what he says.” Tom explained. Marco didn’t like this at all. He didn’t like this odd side of his demon tat seemed so… brainwashed! Marco could tell the things Tom was saying scared him, but he wasn’t accepting or seeing it.

“Tom, that’s not-” Marco wanted to explained this to Tom, but he cut off when the demon gasped and his ears pointed up sharply.

“Marco!” He gasped in a hushed tone. “Oh no, you have to hide!” Tom pushed Marco to the closet and shut the door.

“Tom? What’s happening?” Marco asked. Tom shushed him.

“Shhh! He’s coming! He’ll be angry if he sees you!” Tom didn’t give much information, but Marco put a hand over his mouth to keep himself quiet. He looked through the cracks in the door and saw a large man enter Tom’s room. Tom cowered in front of him like a tiny bug as he came closer. “D-dad, what y-you doing h-here?” Tom forced out.

“Speak clearly, you sound fearful and weak.” The king demanded. “Show weakness, and rebels may try and take you out. And I may just let them.” He threatened. Tom gulped and stood up straighter.

“Yes sir.” He forced himself to speak connectedly. “Why are you here?” Tom repeated.

“You’ve disobeyed me.” The king snarled. Tom’s eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. Marco, who was still watching, began to feel nauseous at the sight of how scared his demon was becoming. He wanted to go out and offer him some sort of support, but stayed put, remembering Tom’s urgency.

“No!” Tom cried. “I-I-I swear! I’ve been here the whole time!” Tom promised. His father grabbed Tom by the ear and lifted him off of the ground.

“You have gone to earth again! I know you have!” He screamed at the much smaller demon, he then threw his son onto the ground. Tom choked up and Marco had to cover his mouth again in order not to let out a cry.

“No! I swear! I didn’t!” Tom was almost near tears and shaking like a leaf as the king came closer. He grabbed his son again and lifted him up. Marco gasped when he saw the gigantic demon slug the smaller one across the face and throw him down to the floor.

Tom looked at the king fearfully and closed his eyes tight. He was waiting for him to hit him again, but something worse happened. “STOP!” Marco screamed. Tom opened his eyes and gasped when he saw Marco grab the king’s arm and pull him away from Tom.

“Marco, no!” Tom cried, not wanting the violence to turn onto his human. Marco ignored Tom’s cry and stared up at the king with a look of rage.

“I do not care who you are, the king of the underworld, the king of hell, or the fucking king of burgers, YOU DO NOT HURT YOUR KID!” Marco yelled, shoving the man back. Tom gasped at this minor motion. Marco was way too small in comparison to actually hurt the man, but even raising a hand to him was something Tom would never even dream of seeing.

“Tink for a moment about who you are instigating.” The king narrowed his eyes. Marco growled.

“Oh, I know, and I do not care.” Marco assured. “Tom is a dear, he’s wonderful, and he deserves your respect. A child should never, EVER fear their parent, you don’t DESERVE to be a parent.” Marco raged. The king grabbed Marco by the collar and lifted him up, but Marco showed no fear. “You hurt him to make yourself feel stronger, but you aren’t, you’re weak and you’re pathetic!” Marco yelled, kicking his feet.

The demon king’s eyes went totally black and he bared his sharp teeth. He began to speak in a disoriented voice. “You speak of fear like you know.” He hissed, Marco saw black flames coming from his feet. “ArE YOu ReADy tO FaCE TRuE fEAr?” He dared.

Tom clapped a hand over his mouth, he was done being afraid, he wanted to help his Marco.

Before the king could do something, the unexpected happened, the king freeze with confusion.

Marco started laughing.

He then looked up at the devil king and narrowed his eyes, giving a smug look. “Are you?” He asked. The devil king then dropped Marco once he heard a noise behind him. He whipped around and saw Hekapoo standing in the door followed by Lekmet and Rhombulus. Marco grinned at Tom who was holding the dimensional scissors. He had cut a portal open to Heckapoo’s dimension so she and the high commission who were gathered at the time, had seen everything.

“Lucifer!” Heckapoo yelled. “You know very well the harm of an outworld citizen is prohibited. And what’s worse, you used an outlawed restricting hex on your own son.” She read the charges. Lucifer was about to fight but Rhombulus crystallized him before he could say anything, then transported him to his home.

Hekapoo turned to look at the kids and smiled. “Thank you for calling me, Tom.” She smiled. “Now we have proof of everything we suspected about him.” She explained, and walked closer to Tom. “Now we have the authority to help you.”

Tom looked at Marco in shock. “Why-why would you do all that?” He whispered. “He could have killed you!” Tears began to well up in Tom’s eyes and Marco held him close. “Why would you do that!?” Tom blubbered.

“I had to protect you.” Marco hushed him.

“Don’t do that next time!” Tom cried. Marco shook his head and hushed the demon.

“Oh Tom, I could never let you suffer. I love you too much to let you get hurt, and watch somebody hurt you.” Marco explained. More tears began to fill Tom’s eyes and he sobbed, being held by the human boy.

“It’s all my fault, I almost LET you get hurt.” His voice was shaky. Marco shook his head and gave Tom a kiss, trying to calm him.

“No, sweetie, no of course not.” Marco soothed. “You saved me, you called them here and saved me, and yourself.” he reminded. “You are so strong.” He whispered to the demon. Tom felt more tears well up in his eyes, and he clutched Marco close.

“I made it.”

New edit: Lmao y'all don’t know how to fucking read do you? Like all most of y'all do is play the victim card like some sad tragic anime character, pls. Like anti-shaladin people I literally DEFENDED y'all in MULTIPLE paragraphs here but here I am getting shit for making a few sarcastic jokes. I have one person calling me a minty apologist when I literally called them out on their bullshit (even though I made like a small joke on the infiltration which was taken seriously idk why y'all are so extra like this). I can’t even summon up the energy to type properly and not like some Fuckboy on drugs bc this is all so ridiculous. If y'all have so much problems with each other sort it out between yourselves or bring in a few close friends. Don’t be taking this shit to tumblr of all places (a well known shit talk website) and expect people not to react. (I’m looking at you Minty I mean for fucks sake I know I said you could play a SMALL portion of the victim card but you know this whole shitfest could have been avoided if y'all just left the antis alone or done something simple like post “any nice polite antis want to discuss/intellectually debate on shaladin” or something ANYTHING except seeking these guys out in the numbers on a discord group. Like you be acting like you calling out Donald Trump on some high end level blackmail he did when in reality you’re just posting screenshots of conversations that were meant to be private. Were some of the things they said rude??? HELL YEAH! But did they actively seek YOU out?? Uh no.) (though really in the first place, Antis if you hate shaladin so much…why you gotta go seek shaladin blogs out just to shit talk them….this isn’t a remake of mean girls or whatever….like fuck…you coulda just…avoided shaladin….and not looked at the blogs at all….) (BASICALLY WHAT THIS WHOLE THING IS SAYING IS THAT YOURE BOTH WRONG AND YALL GOTTA CHILL OUT AND EITHER APOLOGISE OR IF BOTH OF YOU GON BE PETTY THEN JUST IGNORE EACH OTHER)

Fuck ok guys I don’t know who minty or any of these people who are involved in the discourse are but y'all need to chill TF out. (Except maybe minty can lose her shit a little since y'all are fucking taking the nastiest most extra and unnecessary dump on her) I’d type in proper English and fucking make an essay if I could but I’m running on multiple cans of double shot espressos and approx 2 hours of proper sleep so leave me and my typos be. I’m only just awake enough to understand that this whole discourse could have been so easily avoided but ok fine it’s happening anyways cause y'all are extra

First of all, like in a way it confuses me as to why a shaladin shipper would go into an anti group but ok fine sometimes I wanna check out the compitish too. I mean you didn’t have to minty but fine ok I won’t judge too much since I do the same thing when I tryna throw some shade. Not saying that minty wanted to throw shade ok this is just my (hopefully incorrect) assumption so don’t be harassing minty about this

Edit: ok so I found out that apparently minty and their Friend went there to see if there were any nice antis and were severely let down. Fine ok y'all didn’t go there to throw shade. But y'all had to stay there?? I mean…like I’m usually all for throwing shade but…y'all coulda left…at any time… (still kudos for the infiltration lmao) (ok Kyle take this seriously)

But the rape video thing I mean like ://// if you didn’t wanna watch it like ok then don’t watch it y'all don’t gotta be so extra and just like “oh my goooOOoOoooOd minty’s tryna trigger us that god damn pedo shaladin shipper” I mean really guys chill TF out and just kinda ignore it?? She was just tryna help out some people and all y'all gotta do is either ignore it or help out :// no one forced you to do shit so don’t pull the victim card

As a matter of fact none of y'all get to pull the victim card. (I mean maybe except minty since in the first place most people just seem to be mad over the rape video which is just a misunderstanding so) (but they only get to pull like a small victim card. Very small. Since they didn’t really have to join the group in the first place. So not the full victim card just just like half or like a quarter) (yeah I realise I sound fuckin biased as shit towards minty but it’s hard not to sound biased when it comes to this particular sort of situation)

I mean I see this whole really extra and unnecessary discourse and I’m just reminded of all the warnings my Friends gave me on the Voltron fandom like why y'all gotta give us a bad name like that :/

Also like seriously guys try not to let this stereotype all of one group. Like don’t pull the “oh these few antis were assholes therefore all antis are assholes” like 1+1=492928???? Really guys I mean we’re all in the same fandom can we just leave people alone.

(Ok this is where I deviate from the whole Minty discourse and start talking about shalladin and the whole pedophillia thing)

I mean shalladin isn’t even actual pedophillia (Unless you count pidge who is like 14 and in her early teens which is technically still within like child-ness of that makes sense). Y'all realise pedophillia is sexual acts between an adult and CHILD right?? Right????? I mean the other paladins excluding pidge are in their late teens meaning 18-19 :// that’s not pedophillia that’s just mildly uncomfortable if Shiro turned out to be canonically like 40 or 50 but I doubt it :/

I mean if y'all are really that uncomfortable with it then fine ok that’s nice to each their own but y'all be calling other people pedophiles for merely liking shalladin. Like bitch ok leave other people alone pls? You stay in your corner we’ll stay in ours.

Also guys I mean like don’t go seeking out anti-shalladin people just to fuckin throw shade and shit at them :// I mean y'all are at least half the fuckin reason why they hate shalladin shippers. Just leave them be to each their own. I mean unless they seek you out then just politely tell them that they can take their opinion and put it in their pocket.

Also I don’t wanna get no anonymous bitches telling me I’m a pedophile for shipping shalladin. I don’t wanna get no ignorant fucks coming up into my inbox screaming at me for having a god damned opinion. Don’t be coming up at me like “Yoo like dude why tf would you post this like Fuck off” bitch I’m posting this cause I’m sick of seeing the Voltron fandom go into a god damned fucking war bc of these situations. If y'all chilled TF out and stopped being so extra and stopped purposefully seeking people out to fight with them maybe we wouldn’t be in this particular situation in the first place.

And there you have it. An actual essay on why Kyle is very very done with extra people in the fandom.

My savior

Request: Could you do a pre Apocalypse where Negan and reader live in the same apartment complex. And reader and her husband fight and argue. Maybe a little abusive. He leaves the reader for another girl. Negan sees her being a single mom with a new born and a 2 year old and having a hard time. He starts talking to her the 2 yr old starts getting attached to Negan and things get heated between the reader and negan. They become a couple. Maybe the ex husband tries to come back there was a fight between Negan and the ex husband. The reader chooses Negan. You can decide the ending if they get married. If you want to do more parts it can go into the out break? 

@lilred91 Thank you so much for requesting :)                                                       Trigger Warning - Abuse, cheating, Cussing, fighting Idk.                                               Y/f/n - your full name                             


“Hi Y/n” I hear a familiar voice say, I turn around to see Negan who lives close to me in the apartment complex, “Negaaaan” my 2 year old screams as she runs up to him, “Hey Skyler” He says as he picks her up swiftly. I smile as I watch him tickle her softly and she giggles with that adorable laugh. He walked to me with Skyler clinging to his hip “Hi Negan” I say as he stands in front of me.

“how are you?” he asks with a sympathetic look, I know he’s probably heard the fights between me and my husband, “I’m fine, what about you?” I ask, He gives me a small smile “I’m fine” he says quietly “when is daddy coming home” says Skyler quietly “In about 2 hours I think” I answer with a sad look on my face as I know I will have to put up with the same shit again.

“but I wanna stay with Negan” she says sadly “how about I come visit you some other day” he says with a smile “That would be nice” I say quietly “Well I should probably get little noah to bed” “Sleep tight little man” Negan says as he strokes the chin of my newborn who’s in the stroller “come and talk to me if you need anything” he says quietly to me “I will” I say “well I’ll see you around Y/n” “Bye Negan” Skyler yells as she then takes my hand and walk to our front door “Bye sweetie” he says as he approaches his front door.

“How about you help mommy get Noah to bed and then we get you to bed, Skyler” I say as we stepped through the door “ok, but will you read me a bedtime stowy” she says cutely, she still haven’t learn to say story but she’s adorable. “Of course, sweetheart”


“Where’s the beer” Greg yells “shhh you’ll wake up the kids, I’ts in the fridge” I said. He looked in the fridge then slammed the fridge door close, “It’s none left, I told you to go and buy some” he yelled at me “I forgot” I said and stood up, “you always forget bitch” he said then walked towards me and stopped in front of me and looked at me for a while then suddenly before I can react he smacked me in the face. I looked up at him with tears brimming in my eyes “get out” I yelled  “trust me I will, i’m going to britney’s at least she knows how to fuck” he says “have you been cheating on me?” I asked quietly “yup, and I’m out I wan’t nothing to do with you, you whore” he said to me then walked out and slammed the door.

I ran up to see if the kids where still sleeping which they still where even though we yelled downstairs. As I slowly walked down the steps I see Negan at the door “are you okay?, I heard yelling so I ran in here to see if you were alright” he says as he consoles me in a big hug. he let go of me and looked at my face “did that son of a bitch slap you?” he asked with a look of anger in his face “yeah” I answered, “Come here” he said and consoled me again.


It’s been a year, Greg took his shit and left after signing the divorce papers and I’ve moved on to someone that makes me happy and treats me like I was the most beautiful person in the world. I was awoken by my thinking as I felt Negan kiss my shoulder, I looked at him and smiled. We where currently on the couch watching the lion king with Skyler and Noah was sleeping on my chest as Skyler laid between me and Negan but she had already fallen asleep. A lot has happened, me and Negan moved in together and we’re getting married in a couple of months and we’re both very happy. 


(Time skip to a few months)                 

It was late, Negan was reading a bedtime story to Skyler and I had just but Noah to bed and I decided to sit down on the couch and maybe watch a movie with Negan, I can’t believe he’s my fiancé now. “hey sweetie” Negan said coming down from the stairs “hey babe” I said as he then slowly gave me passionate kiss then he sat down beside me and put his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. “I think she loves you more then she loves me” I giggled and he laughed a little “she’s adorable” he said “How ab-” I started saying but was interrupted by a loud knocking on the door.

Negan and I stood up and walked to the door, as Negan opened the door, I was shocked to see Greg there. “Y/n, come back to me, I still love you” he said quickly “No, I’ve moved on, I don’t want you, you’re an abusive asshole” I said    “You should leave” Negan said firmly “who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? huh” Greg said challenging him “Leave!” Negan raised his voice. Before I could react Negan was on the floor with greg on top of him and they were rolling around throwing punches at eachother “stop” I yelled but they didn’t budge “stop it both of you!!” I screamed and they soon turned their heads to me, Negan let go of greg and stood up “get the fuck out greg before I call the cops and don’t come back because I will always choose Negan and I don’t ever want to see you again, ever!” he huffed and walked out with a look of despite on his face.

I ran to Negan to check on his wounds, as I started to wrap his wounds up he looked at me “I’m sorry” he said quietly “Its okay” I said “As long as we’re together we’ll be okay” I said and gave him a kiss. “what happened to Negan and was that daddy’s voice I heard” Skyler said walking down the stairs with her teddy “Sweetie, your daddy came to visit but he had to go and when Negan was gonna close the door he fell and got a boo boo” i said to try to cover up what happened “mommy can you kiss his boo boo to make it better” she said cutely as she went to sit in Negan’s lap “I will sweetie”. I’m happy that I hopefully doesn’t have to deal with greg anymore he’s been abusing me for years and I never want to see him again.


(Time skip to a few months again)

The two big doors opened as Skyler walked in front of me throwing rose peddles on the floor gently. I looked up at the man I will spend the rest of my life with as I came closer to him and eventually stood in front of him, I saw the tears brimming in his eyes and he bent forward a bit and whispered “Your beautiful” “Your not so bad yourself” I said and giggled, then the priest started talking after awhile it finally time “Negan do you take /Y/f/n/ to be your beloved wife till death do you apart” “I do” he said then the priest asked me the same question “I do” I answered “you may now kiss the bride” he said as Negan gave me the most passionate kiss. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life.

Originally posted by ifellinlovewithabrokenheart

I hope you liked it :)                                                                                                 there will be a part 2 to this :)

I don’t own any gif’s credit to the owner.

#13 - Fight

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!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMPORTANT MESSAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS SCENARIO WAS POSTED ON THE WRONG ACCOUNT :/

FOR MORE OF THESE GO TO THIS BLOG 

THANK YOOOUUUU

!!!!!!!!!!!!! IMPORTANT MESSAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Trigger warning: None

Paring: Dan and y/n

Genre: Angst/Fluff

Requested By: Anonymous

your ‘growing up’ one hit me right iN THE FEELZ. can you do one where y/n and dan have a massive fight and it’s really dramatic with fluff at the end? idk i just like that stuff thxs ?￰゚メヨ

-I was going to do one a bit like this so thank you. As I have been a bit inactive I am giving you a lot this weekend. Sorry it’s short. Alos hope you have a wonderful day! xx


“ARRGH, why can’t you help me out here?” You shouted, groaning in annoyance.

“I didn’t do anything!” He shot back.

“For fuck’s sake, you keep on throwing your crap behind furniture for me too pick up! You know I found a bill behind there yesterday, if I had found it weeks later we could have been kicked out!”

Dan used to be helpful, always asking if you wanted help cooking the dinner or tidying up. At first you replied with a 'no don’t worry about it’ since when you two decided to move in together you both went to Dan’s flat. But right now you would have been eternally grateful if he had at least woken you up for work this morning.

“Look I’m sorry! Okay?” He sighed.

“Yeah but even after we’ve made up you still don’t help out.”

“Fine! I apologized and you still wont forgive me.”

“Hey! Don’t act like I’m the one in the wrong. You should actually grow up and start acting like an adult for once.”

“Oh, so I’m the one not acting like an adult. Your the one who just went ape-shit over the fact that I make a mess.”

“You know, most boyfriends would help them out so they didn’t have to do everything on their own. And they would be protective when they need to be. You just sit on your arse all day on the internet not giving two shits about is I’m okay!” Your voice had no become uneven and a couple tears were rolling down your face.

“So your saying I’m fat now? Huh?” Before anything could happen he pushed you up against the wall, pinning your arms tightly to the white painted plaster. Dan realized what he had been doing ad let you go, letting your small body fall to the ground like weightless leaf. You sat uncomfortably down on the floor, rubbing your sore wrists. Keeping your toward the floor, too scared to look up at him. You tears had become more frequent after that out-break and so did Dan’s. He put his hands over his eyes trying to stop himself from crying. “Oh my god, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I love you so much.” He tried comforting you, but you turned your back on him. “How about we talk about this is the morning? I’ll take the sofa.” Even though he was upset with himself he was very considerate. Dan cried all though the night, not thinking about anything else other than the scared look in your eye as someone you love hurt you physically. It was only several weeks later you forgave him after spending 2 weeks with your family, you realized he was just sensitive and upset and that you love him more than life itself.

Finding Hope

Reader request: can u do one where the reader is emo, and the avengers assume its like a phase cuz she’s still young (late teens early 20’s) they don’t realize that its actually her depression manifesting into her outward appearance, until they see her blog with cutting and her art work thats really dark and depressing, and then they see its a big deal and they need to talk about this and idk how to end it or whatever

*WARNING: TRIGGERS FOR SELF HARM, MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION*

“Good job, team! Much better than last run,” Steve yelled out with a smile. You plopped down onto the ground and began packing your stuff as quickly as you could. You and the rest of the Avengers had just finished up a particularly intense training session that you knew was going to leave you hurting for the rest of the night and into the next day. Not only were your muscles shot from all of the sprints, jumps, dodging and sliding, but using your powers to manipulate atmospheric electricity for so long was extremely taxing. You tried not to compare yourself to the other members of the team who had been training together much longer, but watching them work so effortlessly and confidently always left you feeling hopelessly out of place and inferior.

You looked down at your shaking hands with a sigh. “I used to have such steady hands, but now I can’t keep them from shaking,” you sang quietly to yourself as you zipped up your backpack. “What was that, Sparks?,” Natasha asked you, using the nickname you had been given by Clint on your first day with the team. “Nothing,” you replied quickly. Just a Wonder Years song.”

“Ugh, you and your whiny sad excuse for rock music,” Tony jeered out, rolling his eyes. You smiled, but felt your heart sink a little; attacking the music you loved almost felt like an attack on who you were. After all, who could understand your pain better than your favorite bands? “Hey, you don’t hear me calling you out for still listening to Sabbath, old man,” you teased. “HOW DARE YOU TAKE THE NAME OF SABBATH IN VAIN?!” Tony yelled, his eyes widening dramatically as he placed a hand over his arc reactor. You gave a forced laugh and turned to walk back into the Tower.

“Hey, Y/N, don’t you want to go get dinner with us? I feel like I could eat a burger or 10 right now,” Clint said. You felt unease as all eyes turned upon you, but hid your discomfort well. “Nah, I’m not that hungry, surprisingly. I’ll just go shower, grab some chocolate milk, maybe throw on some mac n cheese. Have fun, though!” You felt bad lying to them – people who you actually considered to be friends – but you knew you wouldn’t be any fun at dinner. Right now, all you wanted was to be alone in your room.

Once you were out of earshot, Tony asked the group, “Do you think she’s still upset that I called her Queen of the Underworld when she showed up with her hair black last week?” “I don’t think she’d let your rudeness get to her, Stark. She just looks beat,” Natasha replied simply. “She looked like she got ran over by a bus,” Pietro quipped. Wanda smacked him. “Pietro, be nice!”

Bruce stood up. “She just needs some space, guys. Remember, she was on her own for awhile before she came here. And she’s only 21 – bit of a generation and,” he looked at the twins and Thor, “culture gap here.”

“But she’s been with us for months, Banner,” Thor said with a frown. “I wish she would come join us more outside of training. She really is quite funny.”

Bruce sighed. “Just give her time. She’ll get more comfortable with the whole ‘big crazy family’ thing eventually.“

“Just like you did, huh?” Natasha said, poking his ribcage.

“She’s fine, she just likes having some time to herself. Now c’mon, I really am starving,” Clint said. While the conversation turned toward who was paying this time, Steve’s thoughts still remained fixed on you. “I’ll talk to her after dinner, see if she’s really OK,” he thought to himself. “She may be smiling, but her eyes … she’s in pain. She looks distant, like she’s off somewhere else. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to.”

-

You felt the sting of your knee again as you tripped in training, the crippling waves of embarrassment that left your cheeks hot and made you want to claw out your insides as you knew everyone was watching.

”Stupid, worthless,” you thought flatly before carving a neat line onto your upper thigh. You breathed out as you watched the crimson pool and trickle sideways over the soft flesh.

You felt the tears of frustration that sprang to your eyes involuntarily when Pietro danced around all of your fiercest attacks before easily knocking you down. You blinked furiously as he helped you up chuckling and even congratulated him, laughing yourself. But your throat felt tight as you thought furiously, “Don’t you dare fucking cry in front of them. Stop being a baby.”

”I’ll never be as good as they are. I’m so much weaker.”

Another line, another quick stinging sensation followed by the sense of release you felt as you watched your blood flow down. 

“That’s right, get out of here.”

You felt in control, you felt distracted. Another slice. And another.

You always thought you had a handle on your depression. You had never been clinically diagnosed, fearing that others would perceive you differently or that medications would change you into someone else, but you knew you had it. So much unexplainable sadness and anger and numbness and tired, oh so tired. But over the past few years, the constancy of the feeling of spinning out drove you to self harm. It made you feel better; it was how you coped. It had been so long, you didn’t really feel as if you didn’t seem to know any other way for you to survive. Not cutting was foreign, an alien prospect. You found solace in your music and retreating into your own world, creating a blog for all of your musings and art that reflected your turmoil. “Van Gogh’s last words were that ‘the sadness will never end,” you wrote on an angled picture of your scarred arm a few years back. “I think he was onto something.” There were more like that scattered on your blog, fresh self harm cuts, quotes about suicide … you knew that you wouldn’t actually take your own life, but sometimes it really did seem like a better option than to continue living trapped in your own head. It was just reassuring to see that others felt like you did.

“How does it feel when tears freeze when you cry? The blood in your veins is 20 below,

” Ronnie Radke’s voice sang passionately out of your phone. You paused it, deciding that it was time to shower and wash off the remnants of the dried blood. You took both your phone and your clothes into your adjoining bathroom, and left your laptop sitting innocently with its screen open on your desk, not realizing that you hadn’t locked the door to your room – or that your friends would be returning soon from dinner.

-

”Where you off to, Rogers?” Clint asked as Steve took a left turn down the hall instead of his usual right.

“I want to check on Y/N. I know you guys think she’s ok but I’m not so sure. I know that look she had today. She wasn’t just tired, it was like she was in a different world. She seemed sad.” Steve replied seriously.

Clint shrugged. “Alright, let us know if she needs anything.”

Steve nodded and continued walking toward your bedroom. “Y/N?” He called out. When there was no answer, he tentatively pushed opened the already ajar door, peeking in to see if you were already asleep. He was greeted, however, with your voice singing off key in your shower. He laughed to himself, starting to turn around when he stopped abruptly at the sight of drops of blood on your hardwood floor. “What the -” Steve looked around, his gaze settling on the open laptop screen, his pulse quickening as a sickening sense of dread filled him. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered quietly, sitting himself in your desk chair and scrolling through the page. Haunting song lyrics, pictures of your cuts, black and white pictures of girls crying with suicidal quotes, posts about Van Gogh “really being onto something,” as you had put it … Steve couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He expected something was wrong, but this, this was a whole different level of than he was prepared for.

Steve bolted upright as you emerged from the shower, your dark hair twisted up in a towel and clad in an oversized A Day to Remember tshirt and boxers. “WHAT THE FUCK?” you cried out, clasping your chest as you realized it was just Steve. “Cap,” you wheezed out with a soft chuckle. “You could’ve knocked, buddy.” He didn’t laugh. “Y/N,” he started. You took in his unnerved expression and you felt your heart drop with a thud in your chest as panic set in, your eyes quickly moving to your laptop that had just been closed shut. You felt as if every fiber of your being had been exposed, like you were being scrutinized under a blinding microscope. “Steve, that’s just an art blog. I just go on there sometimes when I’m upset, it’s nothing to worry -” “Nothing to worry about?! Y/N, that was your arm on there. Your cuts. You think you hurting yourself and wanting to kill yourself and keeping it from all of us is nothing to worry about?!”

”I’m not going to fucking kill myself!” You burst out angrily. “You don’t get it because you don’t feel like this, you don’t know how I feel and this is exactly why I kept it from you guys because I knew you’d act like I was crazy.” You felt your breathing speed up as you tried desperately to keep tears from coming out. “I’m not going to kill myself but sometimes I just need it to all stop, OK? I know I’m fucked up, I know what I do is fucked up, but it’s the only time when I ever have some sort of release from all the pain and the anger and,” you broke off with a shaky laugh as the tears started to come” from feeling so FUCKING upset and overwhelmed. I need this, Steve. I can’t - I can’t,” your chest started heaving and you drew your face toward your chest, clutching at your hair with your hands.

Steve moved toward you quickly, scooping you into his arms. “Shhhh, you’re gonna be OK, Sparks. But you need help. And the team needs to know.”

”NO!” you screamed out. “Steve, please, I’m begging you, you guys are the only ones I have. I can’t have everyone thinking I’m fucking insane please don’t do this I’ll stop I promise just please don’t make me tell them,” you choked out.

Steve cupped your face in yours. “Y/N. This is serious. They need to know. If it was one of us, you would want to help, right?” You nodded miserably. “But it’s not the same,” you whispered. “It’s me. I’m such a fuck up.” “No, you aren’t. You’re just in a lot of pain. It’s going to be OK.” Steve pressed a light kiss to your forehead. “Let’s get you some help, OK?”

-

You sat huddled in a ball on the couch in the living room, your arms wrapped around your knees as Steve radioed the team in. “Group meeting in the living room, now. Sparks needs our help.” As you heard the sound of quick footsteps moving throughout the tower, you only retreated further into yourself. “Steve, I think I’m going to honestly throw up,” you muttered. “They’re all going to think I’m a freak.” “No, they won’t. We all love you, kid. They’ll just want you to feel better.” You gave out a harsh laugh. “You think it’s that fucking simple?” You scooched away into the farthest possible corner of the couch, tucking your head down again.

One by one the team trickled in, coming over near you. “Prințesă, what’s wrong?” Pietro asked rubbing your shoulder with a concerned expression. “Did she get attacked?” Natasha asked immediately. “What’s going on?” Bruce inquired. Your breathing grew shallow as the barrage of voices flooded your senses, a dizzying sense of panic flew threw you as you cried out.

”STOP IT,” you yelled, a quick burst of electricity emanating around your body. Everyone took three steps back. Wanda broke the silence. “Y/N, love, what is the matter? You can talk to us.”

You kept your gaze locked on your knees. “Captain fucking America came into my room while I was in the shower and found out that I’m an emo self harming piece of shit,” you said loudly, your voice catching as your throat tightened. “I don’t know, I think I’ve always been depressed but it got really bad and the only way to stop it was with cutting. Now that you all know I’m a fucking mess, go ahead and kick me off the team. I don’t deserve to be here with you guys” you whispered, burying your head in your arms as you cried silently.

”Y/N,” you looked up to the sound of Bruce’s gentle voice. “Hey,” he sat down on the couch cushion next to you. “I want you to listen to me. You are not a mess, OK? You’re a human being. And human beings can get mental illness, just like any other illness. Trust me, I’m a doctor,” he said with a small smile. You wanted to smile back, but you just couldn’t. “Look, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Depression doesn’t make you weak.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if you know this, but I tried to kill myself a few years ago.” Your eyes widened and you reached for his hand and squeezed hard. “I’m so sorry, Bruce.” He continued. “But I’m here now. And are you looking at me saying I’m crazy or a fuck up?” He smiled gently and this time you managed a weak one in return, shaking your head. “Exactly. No one here is going to treat you like you’re a psycho just because of this. The way your brain is making you feel. You don’t have to go through this alone, Y/N.”

”Y/N, you are one of the kindest, funniest and most excellent warriors I know! Just because you are sad or angry and your mind won’t let you be rid of that does not make you any less wonderful,” Thor said, dropping down near the couch to pat your leg.”

“Yeah, Sparks. I’ve done the whole mind control thing. It sucks,” Clint said, gaining a small, sniffly laugh from you. “I look at mental illness as something like that. Obviously, none of us want you hurting yourself, but without some sort of help to ease that, it’s no wonder you went to extreme measures. Let’s get you feeling better, ok?”

”You’ve got a green rage machine, a wannabe Daryl Dixon, a human Ken doll, twins that are basically knockoffs of Dash and Violet, a Norse god, one deadly ex-ballerina assassin who speaks LATIN and a guy who runs on a battery,” Tony joked. “You’re not the freak here, kiddo. But seriously, we’ve got your back. Banner here can even get you meds to help you shake out that fog in no time. It worked for me after I got all panicky/anxiety/PTSD about New York.”

You looked up at all their faces, smiling with encouragement. They weren’t looking at you like a monster. Your eyes filled with tears. “You guys are just so nice,” you burst out before dissolving back into waterworks. You laughed as you felt yourself being covered in hugs from all angles and collective “awwws.” You broke apart, turning to Steve.

”Sorry I was kind of a dick, Steve. I was just so scared. But thank you for helping me to face this. He pulled you into a bear hug. “That’s what families are for, Y/N.”

For the first time in a long time, you felt hope stir within you.

The100 315 recap

important to note, I did not make a single thing up. like I’m not even joking about things here.

Trigger warnings: child abuse, blood, cutting, hanging,suicide 

  • the gang is blaming Clarke again. nothing new here.
  • Octavia is siding with Bellamy, that’s kinda new
  • Clarke walks away from them and they let her? okay
  • so Clarke’s in the forest, talking to the chip, being sad and all
  • ALIE appears there and has her minion attack her but Roan comes to save the day
  • why is Roan here and how did he find her, no one knows
  • so he takes the chip from her and Clarke points a gun at him
  • lmao he literally just pulled the gun out of her hand and throws it away (this is hilarious I actually had to pause to laugh)
  • Roan wants to give the flame to Ontari
  • but oh wow, Bellamy comes in with a gun to save the day
  • by save the day, I meant shooting Roan, he shot him.
  • so they go to Arkadia, they hold Roan as a prisoner and Clarke tries to persuade him to give the flame to Ontari, 
  • slytherin and Good Earth Cleavage™ Clarke at it again
  • so Clarke plans to kidnap Ontari, get the chip out and put the flame in her
  • I don’t see how this could possibly fail
  • Miller got 10 seconds of screentime (Dat LGBT Rep™)
  • Roan and Octavia stood next to each other, I heard blarkes ship this, ew
  • they leave for Polis, but ALIE is there so I assume someone is chipped
  • they come near Polis and split up, Clarke going with Roan
  • if you didn’t know that this show was a joke, Clarke just said she trusts Bellamy
  • Jasper doesn’t know what a motherboard looks like like wtf
  • Jasper is jealous Harper and Monty had sex? idk
  • more Jasper manpain
  • surprise, Jasper is chipped (no one saw that coming)
  • he stabbed Monty in the stomach with a screwdriver
  • dat Minority getting hurt again
  • lol he’s literally running full power, apparently stabbing doesn’t work if you’re a guy
  • Jasper is literally acting like a zombie wtf
  • in Polis, Roan takes Clarke as a fake prisoner, all gagged and stuff
  • the gang is covering them with guns (classic Bellamy)
  • 15 second Briler interaction (by that i mean talking about raising chickens)
  • Bellamy saying they’re not there to kill anyone cause they’re not the enemy (LMAO)
  • so Jaha goes to meet Clarke and Roan
  • I swear I read this all in a fic
  • Roan’s like “who are you” lol
  • anyways they’re surrounded by grounders (including the gang) so they all get locked up 
  • KANE JUST KILLED ROAN WHOA that came out of no where
  • Monty is still alive (power of being a straight male) and helping Raven
  • zombie Jasper still knocking at the door (he literally sounds like a zombie, all slowed down and shit idk maybe they thought we really liked F.TWD)
  • Jasper blaming Raven, classic feminist show
  • Clarke is brought to the throne room and Abby is waiting for her there
  • fake hugging happening but Clarke is smart
  • “what’s the pass phrase Clarke” - like wow she’s not dumb
  • they chained Clarke up to that pole (like they did with Emerson)
  • when Clarke asks her to tell them to stop, Abby says it’s not them but that she’s doing it and literally opens a bag fool of torture tools/med stuff idk lol

I can’t believe I’m seeing this shit with my own two eyes. it gets really fucked up from here

  • Clarke refuses to talk, Abby takes a blade and literally stabs her in the chest (like it’s shallow but there’s a lot of blood and Clarke screams)
  • Clarke begs her to stop the whole “this isn’t you!” thing and she cries
  • Abby stabs her again and twists the knife in her before pulling it out
  • when she refuses to speak Abby tells ALIE that her friends are her weakness and they should start with Bellamy
  • cut scene, with the gang, Nathan and Octavia are getting beaten up
  • Murphy, Indra and Pike show up to save them and shoot everyone
  • Octavia tells Indra that Pike killed Lincoln
  • Bellamy gives a speech and Pike gives him a gun (gun buddies 4 life ♥)
  • Pike shoots a grounder and Bellamy yells at him lol
  • so only Murphy and Bell go up to save Clarke
  • some bro talk happens, nothing important
  • Indra defending Pike while Octavia cries
  • Kane comes shooting at them, hits Pike and Bryan (damn that minority attracts bullets like crazy, huh?)
  • Octavia grabs him and points a gun at him instead, knockig him out
  • they threw a bomb at the grounders that were approaching omg
  • Bell and Murphy get attacked in the elevator
  • Murphy gets choked but Bellamy saves him by shooting a grounder in the head (nice shot of blood splattering on the wall)
  • Pike was shot in the stomach but he is still managing to fucking pull that elevator up I can’t this is too good
  • Jasper is still talking shit but Raven does some sciency stuff and.. gets the code back up? she looks for the kill switch
  • Harper shows up & Jasper attacks her (that feminism) and takes her gun

fucking triggering shit again

  • Jaha prepares a noose so that Abby can literally hang herself in front of Clarke while she watches 
  • Clarke begs her to stop, Abby says that ALIE isn’t what’s killing her but Clarke is and asks for the pass phrase again
  • Abby kicks the barrel she was standing on and actually hangs herself while Clarke screams 
  • you can see her like literally swinging in the air and choking while Clarke cries and apologizes, few of these scenes tbh

what the fuck okay

  • Ontari kneels down and Jaha hits her with a metal pipe (?) directly smashing it against her head, you can see blood splattering and all and she falls down, totally knocked out
  • ALIE says damage to her brain is substantial but she’s still alive
  • Clarke is begging him to stop 
  • Abby is still swinging in the background
  • Bellamy and Murphy manage to get inside, shooting Jaha and knocking him out, Murphy takes Abby down and she’s barely alive
  • shot of Ontari on the floor and bleeding out (similar to the one of Lincoln) and she bleed out so much blood, literally lying in a pool of it
  • Clarke tries to save her but she’s “brain dead”
  • another shot of Ontari, the camera zooms in on her head, it’s gross 

That’s it. There was no Lexa in the promo.

Reminder that the finale is rumored to be the most triggering episode so far (confirmed by Javi, Christopher Larkin (Monty) and LJ insider.  Rumors also have it that it will be way worse than 307 so please don’t give into Jason’s queerbaiting again.

Please don’t watch live in any way. If anything, don’t watch it for the sake of your friends who might be triggered and be ready to give them support if they might need it after.

I will be posting the recap on @lgbtviewersdeservebetter as soon as the episode is over. Check that, check the gifs and if you must, torrent it later. 

Please be safe and be there for rest of the clexakru who might get triggered.
Please DO NOT liveblog or interact with actors during the episode. They will most likely be blogging about it and use the official hashtag so interactions with them will count as you supporting the twitter trend instead.