~i cannot with your faces

myladymojo  asked:

Drabble me up, give me some Laf being a serial killer. That should be even weirder than Washington

Gilbert balanced the butter knife over your body, an evil gleam in his eyes. You didn’t bother to struggle any longer, due to lack of blood and hope. His hands were tight around your neck, squeezing enough to make you pass in and out. But he was angry. You weren’t making this fun.

You were supposed to be screaming.

“Now, now, ma puce, please, I cannot hear your lovely voice…” He whispered, leaning closer to your face. You said nothing, blinking slowly. He felt your heart beat weaken under his fingertips.

No. You couldn’t leave him yet. 

He let go of your neck, and you gasped coughing up more blood. But that’s not what he wanted to hear. He pierced your skin with the dull knife, and you screamed. He smiled.

Finally.  

Out Of Context Critical Role Sentence Starters

“Seventeen! Puke on those fucking guards!“ 

 "I would like to buy your hair for a hundred gold pieces." 

 "You can’t walk off in the middle of hide-and-seek again! I’ve been in a barrel for an hour, I fell asleep in there!" 

 "I am a little evil magnet." 

 "Do you want to do a reach-around and see if you get a handful of wooden boob?" 

 "I show him my ass and I leave." 

 "I once saw him kill a man with his taint." 

 "I covered my hand in ink and, yeah…" 

 "My name is Burt Reynolds and that offends me." 

 "Your hands are just covered in piss now." 

 "I bury my shame." 

 "Don’t worry, I still have my lips." 

 "You realize that I was born to shove things in holes…" 

 "Vomit on those bitches." 

 "I’m the most wicked narwhal of all time!" 

 "Some people have no sense of FUCKING HONOR." 

 "You’ll leave when Burt Reynolds tells you to leave." 

 "Remember that time you killed a kid?" 

 "Turn around 180 degrees then run as fast as you can." 

 "I’m just sitting in the corner going HAHAHAHAHAA!" 

"The butt flap is down." 

 "It’s not sexual at all, I’m not attracted to you! Like literally if it happened I would be ill." 

 "Alright, I’ll whip it out again." 

 "Hey, _____. How much XP would _____ get for drowning an entire cargo hold of slave children?" 

 "What’s the term for when your penis is inverted?" 

 "Roses are red, violets are blue. We’re both gnomes and you are sooooo foxy.”

 "He smells of sandalwood. And dismissiveness.“ 

 "And my thoughts are still fuck you, no way, bye-bye." 

 "You’re right! He is no hollaback gnome." 

 "We don’t do anything with dignity!”

 ”_____’s lifeless corpse has a pool of urine around it.“ 

 "Nobody sweating more than is…you know necessary when being threatened by a big fuck-off dragon.“ 

 "Hit him in the arse!" 

 "Most of what I do is long and hard." 

 "I just got one of those terrible ideas I get on occasion." 

 "I died as I lived. Hard." 

 "I’m gonna dominate the guy in front." 

 "YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT." 

 "Fancy fancy mustache that you cannot wipe off your face!" 

 "Hey, look! I found a hole!" 

 "Oh! I got hit with his dick!" 

 "I’ll just punch him in his dragon face." 

 "I’m going to stand over here and fail to stay in character." 

 "Nothing can go wrong. This is a great idea!" 

 "He was trying to corrupt my soul or whatever…but good luck with that." 

 "You were like a dick in a box." 

 "This probably isn’t a good idea but…whatever." 

 "Will you come check this hatch for boobies?”

4

Our boy who always eat food from convenience store and room service finally get exposed to real food ^0^ And he even tried to sing to mess with Nobu :O XD (x)

And here’s for anyone who want to hear the song Yuzuru mimicked XD

4

@eriecanary: I literally just found your comic and binge read all of it and? It’s so freaking cute? I love it and your art style so much I made a quick compilation of some of my favorite panels :D I either chose them for their cuteness or the amazingly hilarious faces. Like I swear Flowey makes some of the absolute best face ever. AAAAAA also your Underfell Pap is my favorite take on him ever!

—-

Oh my! A new reader! Welcome, deary <3 Glad you like the comic! 

I can see many beautiful panels there <3 Wow, you sure took some effort on this, didn’t you? I’m flattered <3 I hope you’re not too sensitive and like what’s going to come! Thanks for sending!

What else do you love about me? // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Y/n and Shawn talk about what they love about each other.

Authors note: Purely wrote this so I could gush about how amazing Shawn is 


“Why are you so hot?” I ask while I layed on the hotel bed, my legs hanging off the side. 

“What?” Shawn laughs, turning around and looking at me through the doorway from the bathroom.

I tilt my head to look at him. “I mean like, I know you go to the gym and everything but you’re face- flawless. I cannot find one flaw on your face,” 

“Is that so?” Shawn hums, his back muscles shifting as he turned the tap off after finishing rinsing his toothbrush.

“I’m not usually one to obsess over looks because personality is key,”

“Are you saying my personality sucks?” Shawn teases, flicking the lights off in the bathroom and he leans against the door frame.

I shoot up right, “Not at all. You’re a 10 out of 10. You have the full package. Good as looks, most amazing personality and you can sing. No wonder you got the chicks swooning,” 

Shawn’s head tips back as he laughs, “I only need one chick to swoon and that’s you,” 

“See, that is what I mean. That right there was perfect,” I point at him as I speak.

“Did it make you swoon?” he says smirking, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Just a little bit,” I grin, flopping back onto the mattress.

“What else do you love about me?” Shawn walks over crawling onto the mattress, laying on his side, head propped up on his hand to look at me.

“You have the softest hair ever. Do you use product? I’ve never seen you put any in but then again, I’m never awake early enough to see if you do anything after your shower,” I trail off, eyes flicking to meet his.

“All natural baby,” he smiles, his eyes warm as they lock with mine.

“Of course it is. I’m seriously considering that you might be a Greek god like Hercules or something. Left on earth to be raised by human parents so you could bless all us humans,”

“Pretty sure I’m human Y/n,” he says laughing.

“To be discussed,”

Silence settles over us, the heater humming creating background noise. Shawn leans closer, his nose brushing my cheek.

“Want to know what I love about you?” He whispers, his breath fanning my face.

“My charm?” I ask, winking at him. A chuckle escapes his lips, his head falling onto my shoulder.

“As much as I love your charm I also love how you always try and find something positive in every situation,” 

“I guess I do that,” I smile softly, pecking his nose.

“You also show so much love to all your friends and family. You don’t halfheartedly love someone, you put your whole soul and body into it,” He kisses my forehead gently. “Thats why I’m so lucky to have you in my life and to be able to receive your love,”

“Dammit Shawn, I’m going to cry,” I let out a shaky laugh.

“Aw baby no, this is meant to be a happy moment,” Shawn tucks some hair behind my ear.

“They’re happy tears don’t worry,” I smile at him, my heart feeling as though it would burst at the sight of the man in front of me.

“You’re also the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life,” he says and I gasp.

“But what happened to and I quote ‘she’s not even drop dead gorgeous’,” 

“Y/n,” he laughs, shaking his head at me. 

“Its okay, apparently it kills you anyway,”

Haaa, my friend @welpenblick pointed me at that post of yours with suggesting Gilbert wearing a dress and after a week-long art slump I wanted to get back into drawing something fun and well
this was the result. I thought you might want to see hahA, I’ll see myself out now :y

art by @kisamesfacioplegia

I let another boy grow your face,
Your name,
Your smile,
And I cannot wipe the lies
From his ivory slate.
 
Pristine eyes shone
With another’s anger,
With the wrath that left me marked
By your sandpaper tongue.
 
You push the world
Through the filter in my head,
I am curled between your fingers
Like a puppet on strings.
 
I was dragged head-first into fog,
His headlights gleaming
Through the heavy air.
 
I handed him your name.
(I thought he deserved it)
—  poeticallyordinary
5

Theo x Reader

Requested By Anon

Warnings: language and phrasing?


“Theo it’s cold and raining.” You sighed as he woke you at an ungodly hour and insisted you bundle up and go out into the cold rain.

“Yeah well it’s not raining in the truck.” He grunted, unlocking it as he stopped you from getting in the passenger side. “I’m trusting you with something very precious and important.”

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[1]

I know the ‘ha’ it’s the sound effect for hard breathing as Watanuki runs for his life but it also looks like the giant off screen ~mystery thing~ is just slowly laughing at him. 

And I say ~mystery thing~ but it’s definitely Mokona. 

GIANT MOKONA FINDS YOUR JOKES MODERATELY AMUSING, WATANUKI. 

BUT ONLY MODERATELY SO. 

I…

Oh. 

Oh NO. 

NO MOKONA DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 

MOKONA N O.

Minutiae

Sometimes a pleasant evening in with Furiosa and company is in order. Revisiting the Wasteland usually means new(ish) details emerging.  Here are a few:

The Organic Mechanic’s left hand has tattoos of tallies.  Is this how many bloodbags he’s processed?  How many War Boys he’s trashed?  How many babies he’s delivered?  Or perhaps each line means something different.  The visible count is approximately 72.

The War Rig is fitted with a nicely bound leather handgrip for the War Boy running crew lead.  There are lots of grips everywhere for War Boys to hang onto, even underneath the War Rig.

Veggies suggest that it may be late spring when they make their run: from left to right: kale, turnips, new potatoes, and chard.

Ridiculously handsome Asian Imperator riding high on the Doof Wagon behind Immortan Joe and Rictus.  If he’s not been named, I suggest Imperator Nguyen.

The Organic Mechanic dual-wields a stethoscope and ear horn.  Notice that his left-bicep tattoo looks rather tree-like.  Perhaps it’s mathematical: a tree graph?

Not really minutiae, but sometimes when one pauses, one pauses at the most inopportune moment…

blissfully unaware; sexually confident!evan x reader smut

Requests;

👏🏻Evan👏🏻smut👏🏻please👏🏻


I 👏 am 👏 down 👏 for 👏 a 👏 full👏 sexually confident 👏 Evan 👏 fic


WOWIE I WROTE IT. I ACTUALLY WROTE IT. GO ME. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY! I THINK IT’S OOC BUT WHATEVER I GIVE UP ON LIFE.

Word Count; 1544 BECAUSE I’M EXTRA AS FUCK JESUS

TWs; smut smut smut, this might be awful and ooc but fuck it, jared is a sarcastic boi, oh yeah hair pulling lol, OH ITS LIKE LITERALLY PUBLIC TEASING TOO SO YEAH WOOPS



It had taken a long time for Evan to become fully comfortable when it came to sex, and even now sometimes he would shy away, but there were… times. Times where he could be uncharacteristically confident. Different things could trigger him to be like this. A lot of the time it was when he hadn’t seen you in awhile. Occasionally it would happen if you could convince him to drink, but tonight it seemed like there was no reason for his sudden shift in mood. You both had been hanging out with your friends, having a good time. It was getting pretty late into the evening, and you and Evan were sitting on his bed while Zoe, Connor, and Alana were all sprawled out on the floor watching whatever random movie they had chosen for the night. 

You yawned, which prompted Evan to grab you and wrap his arms around you. You relaxed back into his touch, wiggling in between his legs and taking his hand. “I love you.” He mumbled softly, pushing your hair to the side and leaving a small kiss on the side of your neck. You smiled, mumbling a sweet ‘I love you too’ back. After a few moments of silence he spoke again. “They’re really focused on that movie.” He chuckled. You nodded, glancing at you friends, who were quite obviously unaware of any thing else going on around them.

“You look really pretty.” Evan squeezed your hand. “Dawww thank you, Ev.” Your face heated up. After a few seconds he moved both his and your own hand onto your leg. You didn’t think much of it at first. He was probably just trying to get more comfortable.

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Wooden Toy 4

Author Notes:
Had to make this one a little shorter, I have big plans for part 5.  
Word count: 2445
Warnings: Smut
Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Originally posted by joligraphie

Tagging:
@nothingbuthappydays, @sweetvengeancee, @dangerousvikings, @noaor @hornyorca, @inthenameofodin, @guardianofthestars25, @sliceofparadise, @ivartrash, @more-thaan-words, @synnersaint, @sugakookiexx, @littlepanda-love, @float-autumn-leave, @ivartheboneme, @lordavanti, @tiyetiye,  @xxsophie-raabxx & @holy-minseok @ivarinleatherpants  @kirah34 @ceridwenofwales, @bluearchersstuff, @radi0active-thoughts, @sconniebelle, @fuckthatfeeling, @ivarbarnes, @dani-si, @ateliefloresdaprimavera & @ivars-heathen

Previous chapters: 
Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 

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