“There’s a burning in my chest… Even though I hate this little girl… Even though I hate her… I can’t… We won’t be able to see each other anymore. I’ll miss you… Lucy. You’ve done more for me than you know. Thank you.”
Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes: brunette, military, sassy, opinionated, hard as nails but has a soft side, likes dancing, is the common sense to Steve’s wild ideas but will follow him anyway, cries when they think they’ve lost him, loves him both before the serum and after, intelligent, on the shorter side.
I’m not sayin’ Steve Rogers has a type, I’m jusy sayin’ Steve Rogers has a type.
anti-asian racism is when you force diaspora asian people living in the USA to call themselves american, tell us we aren’t really our ethnicity, and either say or imply that we’re less legit than nationals in our countries/regions.
and yet… you didn’t come crawling out of the woodwork to say “you’re AMERICAN sweetie :)” when people were constantly pressuring me to speak my language for them like some kind of circus animal trick.
when white people stared at me and my family at a restaurant cuz we were the only asian people in the place, your cries of “you’re not REALLY asian!!!1!” were nowhere to be heard.
when my language was literally called a noise, you were strangely silent about how i’m “AMERICAN chinese, not REAL chinese.”
the only time you ever bring up how “not really asian” we are is when we wanna define our own ethnic identities a certain way, or when we’re talking about forms of racism that hurt us as diaspora asian people… funny how THAT works, isn’t it? just admit you hate diaspora asian people already – your ugly intentions are transparent as hell and you’re not fooling anyone.
I meant to post this right after the show last night but sadly I didn’t get the chance to because I had to say my goodbyes to the ones who were apart of this journey . So here i go. My first twitlonger omg ……
NEW YORK • NEW YORK 💋 & to ALL THE other beaaautiful cities we’ve played … you were ALL SO AWESOME !! we appreciate you all taking the time to spend ALL those NIGHTs with us on this tour! a Great way to end it ❤️❤️
Today was definitely an EMOTIONAL one for me . I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cried ugly tonight 😩 I’ve got to know our production team very well on the road and have learned a lot of the technical things they go through behind the scenes just to make sure we give an AMAZING show for yall ! Our makeup/hair @clarissa @gina @randy THANK you for being so PATIENT (yes I said patient)😂 with us when we know you lowkey want to scream early in the morning trying to get our butts out of bed haha! ESP me haha !!
to: will bracey ,BiG Rob , Armando., Janelle & Grace - WE FiNALLY COMPLETED THE TOUr !! Now you won’t have to deal with our annoying ess for awhile haha I love you guys ALL SO SO MUCH !! ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK NEVER GOES UNNOTICED !! I appreciate you lovely people !
To our opening acts - Debby Ryan, Bea Miller, Natalie La Rose, && my brothers Common Kings & AUNTY Steph !! THANK YOU a million times for being apart of our first major headlining tour ❤️ you all brought SO MUCH LOVE and a touch of magic on the road and that’s what I personally felt that was special .. Special Moments that take my breathe away ! at this moment im tearing up like a baby because I will never ever forget this feeling . Like when we performed with TAYLOR SWIFT ! And the time I met this little girl who told me that her life will never be the same because we saved her life .. And I just can’t tell you how much that meant to me !!!!!!
And … ESPECIALLY performing to our HARMONIZERS and our MANY NEW HARMONIZERS. Because of you , I’ve learned that it’s ok to be imperfect .. It’s ok to have flaws and its ok to embrace and love them too .. Because It’s ok to be ok cause NO ONE is perfect . Thank you for all that you do for us .. You all make me so happy MWAAAHH ! If I forgot to mention anyone im sorry I send my love and thank you once again for all the wonderful memories I’ll cherish forever n ever ❤️
sorry I’m posting about this a lot but like I just wanna put this into words like. mentally transitioning with testosterone and coming to terms with my body changing is very weird and difficult for me because like. before I started testosterone, for like the first time in my life there was like a good 6 month chunk that I was super femme and did an hour’s worth of makeup every day and had that super pinched waist and wide hips and I did cam work as a “girl” and honestly? I probably never looked better and I probably will never look as good again. but during that time, like I looked amazing and I still find myself looking at pictures of myself from that time like the one on the left and remembering all of the people that told me that I was throwing away my looks because I was so beautiful as a girl. but i can look back to that time and remember being literally the least happy I had ever been. I cried myself to sleep every night and even got a tattoo with the words “you cannot destroy an idea” (a quote from my fav episode of ds9) because I was so suicidal every night and had to rewatch the “far beyond the stars” episode of deep space nine and crying just to give myself enough hope to not kill myself and make it through the night. the first picture was taken on new years 8 months ago and i spent 2 hours putting on makeup and doing my hair to go to a party only to spent the night crying and having panic attacks because I was too suicidal and self conscious to go. within days of starting testosterone and shaving my head I was more self conscious than ever but I finally starting falling asleep at night without wanting to die. and even though I still think about all the people that have told me I’m hotter as a girl or I’m throwing away my chances and good looks, and even though I’m still self conscious about building the muscle I want to because every time I put on old clothes my arms and shoulders no longer fit, I still feel so much mentally healthier than I’ve been in years. I don’t mean that I never cry about how i feel like through my testosterone and getting my breasts removed in less than two weeks that I’m limiting the people that will find me attractive and thus lessening my chances of finding someone. because I do. but I finally feel like the people who find me attractive and want me are attracted to who I really am and not my best estimation of a woman that I could be. even if I have less of a dating pool because I’m trans it’s still so much better than feeling like all the people who want you only want something that you feel sick about pretending to be.