~abuse mention

Day 7: Soulmate!AU

Alex had always been an active kid. She went camping with her parents, played softball and surfed. It was never odd to find a new bruise or a cut that she couldn’t place the origin of, she tended to collect them and move about her way.

The first time she really noticed anything out of the ordinary was at practice on a Tuesday not long before Kara joined their family. It felt like she’d been sucker punched in the stomach, knocking the air right out of her. She fell to her knees where she stood, alone in the middle of left field. A mandated trip to the doctor left her with more questions than answers and a nasty bruise shaping up under her ribs.

And the whispers.

Soulmate.

Rare, her parents said, but not impossible.

She tried to pay more attention after that, she really did, but between her own activities and the recently acquired alien with super strength, it was hard to tell where her own bruises began and ended. But the ghost of fingerprints squeezed into her arms were too large to match Kara’s hands, and Alex was called into the counselor’s office to discuss it.

She wore longsleeves after that.

Her parents were concerned for their child’s soulmate, of course, but there was little they could do. Alex couldn’t exactly go knocking on the door of every child being watched by social services to demand to compare bruises.

After a while it stopped. The only bruises Alex had were her own, and it came as a relief to her that he was safe, even if she felt a little bit lonely for the loss of connection. But if loneliness were the price to pay not wake with fresh bruises and nightmares of how they came to be, or concussions developed after a nap, she would take it in a heartbeat.

Then her dad died, and Alex had bigger problems, like helping Kara adjust to losing someone else, keeping her grades up, and trying to pull her mother away from work. Alex fell into a routine over the summer that amounted to placing one foot in front of the other, just getting through the day until school started back up in the fall.

She didn’t miss the new girl or the rumors that surrounded her. Midvale was a small town full of small minds that liked to pretend they were open just by virtue of being Californians. The way Kara’s quirks were treated was proof enough of that. Sawyer lived with her aunt because her parents kicked her out. Sawyer was trouble. Sawyer was gay.

Alex didn’t know what, if any, of that was true. It wasn’t her business. But she did her best to shut it down when she could, and kept an eye out for trouble.

Kara was an easy target for bullies. She couldn’t stand up for herself without exposure, so it was a habit for Alex to step in.

Maggie Sawyer was an asshole who didn’t know how to walk away from a fight. Alex did her best to divert teachers’ attention so that Sawyer didn’t spend every afternoon in detention, but some people were just trouble. The pretty junior squared up with every asshole to spit out an insult, and it was getting harder to keep Kara from intervening.

Because “it’s not fair, Alex, they shouldn’t be picking on her.”

Honestly she felt a little stupid not to have noticed it sooner. The bruises reappearing, the aches and pains of fights she’d never participated in.

The way her heart fluttered a little when Maggie smiled at her.

Why Alex suddenly took the long way to Calculus so she could pass by Maggie’s locker.

How she grinned into her lunch when she heard Sawyer sassing the popular kids.

Still, the thought had never occurred to her.

That she might be gay.

Until she turned a corner to catch sight of Maggie slipping between Kara and one of the brickheads from the football team. Until she felt the crunch of breaking bones in her hand, a good twenty feet back from any danger.

Maggie shook out her hand and kept her eyes on the guy holding his nose. Kara was the one to run to Alex, having heard her whimper. Kara was the one stretching out Alex’s hand and poking gently at the bones.

Maggie didn’t turn to see them until the guy had gone, run off to the nurse. “You alright, Danvers?”

“No, Sawyer, I’m not. Seem’s I’ve got a dumbass for a soulmate who doesn’t know how to throw a punch.”

Maggie frowned, glancing between her own rapidly bruising hand and Alex’s. “Soulmate?”

“I’m not ambidextrous, Sawyer, if this is going to be a regular thing you need to take some classes.”

“I have a soulmate?” Maggie’s voice cracked.

And Alex remembered the bruises and the cuts. The burns. Waking in the middle of the night terrified and not knowing why her body felt like it had been through a meat grinder.

Hell or high water, Maggie Sawyer was hers now.

“Yeah, Sawyer. You have a soulmate. Now let’s go get some painkillers and use that little fact as a distraction so you don’t get expelled before we can get to know each other, okay?”

When I was younger, I caught myself digging my own grave in the backyard of that house. 
Long before I knew to call it anything but dirt. Before I knew to call it comfortable, to call it safe, to call it home.
Behind that house in Idaho, in the summer (always the summer), in the dry heat, I began collecting worms.
I never knew why, but I kept them in my pockets, in my small fists, in my mouth next to all my baby teeth (or all but the one he split his knuckles against one too many times).
In the backyard I played pretend, creating a new family or new life or new world where nothing hurt. Where the basement of that house was somewhere we kept the board games, or the extra blankets, or anything other than my vomit, my blood, my innocence. 
When I was younger, I caught myself digging my own grave in the backyard of that house.
I still wake up some nights with dirt under my fingernails.
—  Burial Ground
My relationship isn't anything special! (Big space convo!)

So, it just occurred to me… That really, the way daddy and I are towards and with each other isn’t anything special.

Like, it’s just how you act when you care about someone, right? You talk and listen. You grow and change. You remind each other every day that you’re both loved, and that you’re both good people who deserve to be loved. We love spending time together and just genuinely enjoy each other overall. When we argue, we say sorry and both mean it.

And we never stop trying to give each other butterflies, which really only takes an, “I love you so much I’d…” Haha…

Anyway, like… This is how love is supposed to be.

This isn’t anything special or magical; it’s the way things are supposed to be, and we’ve just both had such shit relationships in the past, to us this feels like fucking sorcery, haha, which is sad, but true. Doesn’t make it any less amazing in my opinion though.

Did we both come from abusive relationships that have warped our standards so much that an okay relationship is one where we don’t get into screaming matches where someone may or may not get it hit? Yes. Sad. But true.

Does that make our relationship any less amazing? Fuck no. Like… It’s not just a shit relationship that seems okay because of our past, it’s something amazing.

What sucks is that we aren’t the norm, you know? All my friends are having major relationship issues and are just overall not with people that treasure them the way you should your lover. And I know they aren’t as happy as I am, and that makes me feel so fucking sad and guilty because this is how things SHOULD be.

TLDR; “At least the don’t hit me” is not the standard of a relationship. “They make me laugh more than they make me cry” is not the base starting point of being a good relationship. “They make me feel safe/loved/wanted/needed” is the standard. And not just one of those, all of them. I didn’t just write this to brag about how awesome my daddy is. I wrote this because this needs to be said more. Do not accept mediocrity. Just because it’s the norm doesn’t make oh okay. You deserve the world.

Side bar: As I’m typing this, my king is sending me messages talking about how he can’t wait to get home and hear my voice. Telling me I’m his goddess. That he loves me more than anything. And we can do whatever I want tonight. I’m totally not tearing up, lol. And I feel the exact same way. There’s balance and peace and a level of understanding I never thought possible. THIS. This is love. This is how things are supposed to be.

anonymous asked:

Prayer request: my partner's parents, who gave her ptsd as a child, are being increasingly worse to her since she moved home for the summer, she might have to leave, I'm worried that they might do something to her/her cat or that she may hurt herself. Could you pray for our peace and her safety? Thank you so much

I’m so sorry your partner is in this situation. We’ll be praying hard.

Protector God,
This person is living with people who ought to provide her with safety and love, but who instead are a source of pain. Hold her close; offer her the parental love she does not get from them. Soften the hearts of her parents to be kinder, if you can. Protect her fiercely from their words and cruelty – and keep her cat safe, too.
Whatever they say or do, envelop her in a surety of your love, in a blanket of courage and comfort. And grant your peace and hope to her partner, too.
Amen.

4

Your abuser’s trauma does not justifiy them abusing you.
Your abuser’s disability does not justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s gender does not justify them abusing you.
Your abuser’s illness does not justify them abusing you.

For everyone that needs to hear this: there is nothing you could ever do that’s punishable by abuse, and there is NOTHING anyone could ever say to justify the abuse you experience(d).

Idfk how Chris brown is trending rn w his bullshit movie cause no matter what Rhianna did or said that bastard physically beat her to hell and back and y'all out here excusing his behavior? Saying it doesn’t matter anymore? This man has abused women numerous times and now that he’s suddenly relevant again y'all try to defend him? No matter how good his music may be or whatever, he is a man that beats women and that should be the only thing you consider when you think of him.

The fact of the matter is that sometimes staying closeted for your own safety isn’t just about fear of physical violence. Sometimes it’s because you don’t think that you could handle the rejection, judgement, and/or emotional abuse that could come with coming out. Sometimes it’s because you don’t know what coming out would entail and you’re scared to find out. Staying closeted (with everyone or with some people) is your choice. Put your wellbeing above all else. I love you, stay safe.

so i just wanted to make a post with all of my favorite Bakugou moments

(this was gonna be a post about bakugou-isms. like. moments where bakugou has said/done something inspiring or wise. but. ended up getting carried away jkl;agha)

anyway i apologize because. this is gonna be long

1. Bakugou declaring that he refuses to lose to anyone again, recognizing that there are other people who are stronger than him that he needs to surpass.

i just really enjoy this moment, because it was a big wake-up call for his character to realize that he isn’t the best, there are people in the world who can surpass him, and that he needs to work harder to reach his goals. the world isn’t as black and white as he thought, and it’s his first step to his major development later on.

2. Bakugou calmly analyzing the situation at USJ 

i really like this moment b/c it’s s fascinating to watch Bakugou explain that none of their classmates are in danger, and that they should instead go and capture Black Mist, because he’s how the Villains got in in the first place. 

it shows that he’s far more than just a violent, angry, rage machine. underneath it all, he’s actually far more intelligent than he seems, and this scene is one of the first that really showcases that

(this is also the moment where Kirishima finally begins to trust him; before this, he was really wary of Bakugou because of how violently he went after Izuku during the Heroes vs. Villains exams (he was seriously worried that Bakugou would kill Izuku). it’s only after this moment where Kirishima changes his initial opinion of Bakugou and begins to trust him)

3. Bakugou explaining that a quirk is nothing more than an extension of a person’s body

i just really love that, of all the characters to do this, it’s Bakugou that explains that even quirks have their limits. it’s a very introspective moment that reminds the audience that these amazing powers aren’t limitless, and that even Bakugou, despite his pride and stubbornness, knows he has limits to what he can do

4. Bakugou’s SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE CAVALRY BATTLE 

KID JUST REFUSES TO GO DOWN AND BY DOING SO, HE INSPIRES HIS TEAMMATES WITH HIS DETERMINATION AND DESIRE TO WIN AND THEY IN TERN BECOME DETERMINED TO WIN AND NOTHING IS GONNA STOP HIM FROM BECOMING NUMBER ONE AND IT’S JUST SO AWESOME AND ENERGETIC AND  I LOVE IT

5. Bakugou acknowledging Uraraka’s strength 

PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY, TBH. i love how he refuses to cal her weak in any capacity, defending her against Kaminari’s words. he fought her. he knows better than anyone here that she is anything but weak. and this is the first moment where he’s vocally defending another person, which i love b/c it’s another step in his character development

6. Bakugou telling off Todoroki for standing before him without the intent to win

this scene really shows a lot of what motivates Bakugou’s character. He wants to win against Todoroki–who’s one of the strongest in the class–and prove himself as the best. But Todoroki isn’t really fighting back, because he’s going through personal issues, which is understandable and under no fault of his own.

tbh, i think it’s an interesting point to think about, because everyone at the Sports Festival is here to win. they’re all trying their best–Bakugou, Izuku, Uraraka (who Bakugou even alludes to in his rant above), Momo, etc. and it is kind of insulting to fight someone who isn’t even really trying to fight back against you in a tournament where that’s the entire purpose of it all. 

that’s why Bakugou fought so hard against all of his opponents, because they all got to this level. he’s showing them respect by not going easy on them. and Bakugou finds it extremely insulting that Todoroki isn’t. i just find it a fascinating aspect to his character. it’s kind of an off-shoot of a ‘warrior’s code’ sort of thing

7. Bakugou refusing to accept his win at the Sports Festival 

again, i think it shows an interesting aspect of his character, because he feels like this win wasn’t deserved, because Todoroki didn’t give it his all. it’s a hollow win, and Bakugou knows it, and he refuses to accept it. 

8. the strength of Bakugou’s ideal of what a hero should be and his SHEER GODDAMN TENACITY DURING THE END OF TERM EXAM

I just love that his ideal of what a hero should be is based on All Might, the ultimate hero, who NEVER loses. this his why he became a hero in the first place, this is what motivates him in everything he does. to Bakugou, real heroes never lose, so he absolutely has to win. always.

and i love how he just refuses to give up–maybe it’s not always the greatest thing (pushing himself too far and all) but i find that really admirable too. no matter what, he just refuses to give up, and i love that (even if it isn’t exactly the best thing sometimes). he’s gonna do everything in his power to win, because that’s what heroes do, and nothing short of being knocked unconscious is gonna stop him.

9. Bakugou absolutely fucking REFUSING to join the Villain Alliance, practically BLOWING SHIGARAKI’S FACE UP WHILE DOING SO, because no matter what they say, he’s going to be a HERO, and goddammit. 

he was inspired by All Might, that’s the person who motivated him to become a hero in the first place, that’s the person who he’s admired since he was a child, and the person he wants to become like. and nothing in this world is going to change that.

10. Bakugou refusing to lie, even when he’s been kidnapped and surrounded by villains. 

i just find it fascinating that this is one of his personal morals, and that he (like All Might) doesn’t lie. he may be in denial more often than not, but he never lies. 

11. Aizawa defending Bakugou against the reporters

i just love how Aizawa understands Bakugou, how he realizes that Bakugou is no way in danger of becoming a villain. how Bakugou’s motivations come from an different place entirely. how it all comes from his ideal of strength, and of what a hero should be. i just really love that. 

12. Bakugou thanking All Might for saving him.

this is the third time All Might saved Bakugou. the first time, in chapter one, Bakugou was in complete denial. he didn’t need saving. he didn’t need anyone. how dare anyone think he needed rescuing?

the second time, at the Villain’s Alliance base, he was, again, in denial. he didn’t need All Might to come save him; even if he was happy and relieved that All Might was there, he wasn’t gonna admit to it. no way. absolutely not.

the third time… All Might saved him (and everyone at Kamino) by fighting against AFO. by refusing to go down. by using the last of his strength to defeat AFO, revealing his secret to the world, giving up OFA, and retiring for good. 

Bakugou feels guilty for this. he feels like the cause of All Might’s retirement. for getting kidnapped in the first place. for not being strong enough to save himself. so this time, he’s without denial or bluster. instead, he quietly thanks All Might for saving him, because he knows what All Might gave up to do it.

it’s a big moment of character growth for him. prior to all of that, Bakugou never would’ve done that. but the weight of All Might’s sacrifice was just too much, it humbled him. he couldn’t deny it anymore. so he sincerely thanked All Might for saving him, for the first time, quietly admitting to his weakness.

13. Bakugou giving Kirishima back the money he used to buy the night vision goggles for the rescue mission (learning about it from Kaminari), while also cheering the class up after Aizawa scolded them, by making Kaminari fry his brain and making them all laugh. 

just… what a fantastic moment of character growth from Bakugou. he felt guilty for Kirishima using his money to buy those goggles (which ended up getting destroyed during the mission), and he feels bad for being the reason why class getting reprimanded in the first place. so he fixes both situations as best he can, while still being his gruff, grumpy self. 

he gives back the money, and cheers the class up at the same time. and Aizawa totally catches onto it, too. “A farce like this has it’s place once in a while, I suppose.” it just shows that Bakguou actually does care about his class, Kirishima in particular. 

it shows that he cares his friends and his class, and i love that

14. Kaminari talking about Bakugou during the Provisional License Exam 

Kaminari mentions how the insulting words Seiji is throwing at them stings, and Sejii assumes Kaminari is talking about himself. he isn’t. Kaminari corrects him while throwing one of Bakugou’s grenades, which gives a visual cue of who he’s talking about. Bakugou.

Bakugou got angry at Seiji’s words. he charged in recklessly because he couldn’t stand the insults to UA anymore. he got upset at hearing the people he cares about be insulted. and then Kaminari goes on to say/think about how Bakugou wasn’t using the full force of his attacks. 

he was purposefully using lower-powered blasts in order to keep Kirishima and Kaminari safe. he purposefully put himself at a disadvantage just so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt them with the force of his attacks. 

Kaminari realizes this and praises Bakugou, defends him against Seiji’s words. he may not have the kindest or sweetest personality, but he’s serious about being a hero. he’s serious about keeping them safe. he’s serious about everything, and he can’t stand hearing Seiji insult him, the people he cares about, or UA.

15. Bakugou’s guilt at causing All Might’s retirement.

oh my god, save this child. save him. he completely, totally blames himself for causing the person he admires the most, the person who inspired him to become a hero, the man who’s motivated him since he was a child, to fall.

he’s just 15. he’s just a child. and he feels guilty for this, he’s feeling the full weight of it on his shoulders, breaking down from it all, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. he’s scared. he’s terrified. he feels horrible. the number 1 hero in the world was forced to retire and it’s all his fault

he’s been blaming himself for this for weeks. he’s just a child. he isn’t responsible for any of it, but he feels like he is. if only he were stronger, if only he got away on his own power, if only he did this or that, maybe All Might would still be a hero. if only he wasn’t so weak.

i love this moment, as painful as it is, because it shows just how human Bakugou is. it shows that he really is just a child dealing with horrible guilt, among other emotional issues (feeling like Izuku was looking down at him for all these years, being terrified that Izuku could one day surpass him, realizing that All Might acknowledged Izuku over him, having a superiority and inferiority complex that just exploded, feeling desperate for an answer over what he should do, and who was right in how they admired All Might (Bakugou for how he always wins, Izuku for how he always saves people with a smile, etc)).

in the end, he’s still just a child. a child dealing with so much more than he ever let on until this fight, where it all exploded out of him, because he just didn’t know how to handle them. he couldn’t bottle it up anymore. 

(i will never, ever excuse or justify any of the horrible things Bakugou did in the past. what he did was inexcusable. but god.. he’s still just a child.)

i love this moment because he’s so scared, terrified, upset, confused, desperate and just so damn human in this moment, and i love it. he’s not just an angry kid. he’s not just a violent, rage machine. there are so many emotions that drive him and i love it so much.

16. Bakugou supporting Izuku after their fight

i just…. really love this. Bakugou has had so many issues with Izuku in the past, many of them stemming from misunderstandings. as mentioned above, he thought Izuku was looking down on him. he was terrified of Izuku’s growth, feared that one day he could actually surpass him one day. but now they’ve talked. now they understand each other better. now Izuku has the support of All Might… and he can’t be losing. 

(and again, none of those reasons justify what Bakugou did to Izuku for those ten years. but they explain why he did it in the first place. i just want to emphasize that) 

to Bakugou, real heroes never lose. Bakugou is applying that to Izuku, now. he’s got the greatest hero in the world helping him, and he can’t be losing. Bakugou, in his own way, is supporting Izuku. it’s one of the biggest moments of character growth for him. for the longest time, he was terrified of Izuku. scared he’d be left behind while Izuku grew stronger. but now he’s putting that aside. 

Izuku has All Might’s power. he has All Might’s support. they both admired him… and now Izuku is being supported by him. so now Bakugou will, too.

Izuku has the greatest hero in the world looking after him. he can’t be losing now. not anymore.

17. Bakugou encouraging Kirishima

i just…. look at how far Bakugou has come. he went from being terrified of others being better than him–of not being as great as he grew up believing–and now he’s supporting Izuku (the person who scared and frustrated him the most), and now he’s actively giving encouragement and helping his friend. 

hell. Bakugou has friends now. he didn’t have any at the beginning of the series; he was to full of pride to see anything but  himself. but now he does, and he’s giving them encouragement. giving Kirishima encouragement. and he’s doing so by drawing from the Kamino incident, the very incident that gave him so much guilt and confusion and pain. the incident that probably gave him nightmares for who knows how long. 

he’s bringing up that incident to comfort and support and encourage his friend. he’s talking about how there are different kinds of strength out there–that just refusing to go down is it’s own strength. this from the kid who’s entire philosophy on heroism is to never lose. 

he’s not scared of being surpassed. he’s got friends now. he’s helping and supporting them in his own way. he’s not afraid to think of the very incident that caused him so much pain; he’s healing from it, slowly. he’s learned from it. he’s slowly accepting that it wasn’t his fault. he’s admitting that there are other kinds of strength out there, besides just winning. it’s about refusing to go down (like All Might did at Kamino). 

this is one of my favorite moments, even tho it’s so short, because it’s a culmination of Bakugou’s character development so far in the story. it’s a small moment, but it wouldn’t mean anything without the hundred or so chapters proceeding it, showing all of Bakugou’s complexities, and all of his personal issues, motivations, emotional struggles, etc. 

this moment is great because it shows just how far Bakugou has come since chapter one. he’s almost a completely different character than who he was, where he began. and that’s why i love it so much

long story short Bakugou is an incredibly complex kid and i love him a lot

related meta:

[you can find more Bakugou meta here]

social things trans ppl suffer through

- when someone glances at u and then turns to have another long, long, look
- when someone’s face drops when they look at u
- “thank u ma'am, oh no it’s okay sir don’t worry, ma'am-”
- kids asking their parents why that girl has long hair, why that man’s wearing a dress and then mum shushing them and giving u a look of contempt
- announcing that ur gay but everyone’s like “so u like? girls? boys?”
- feeling like you’re passing and comfortable until u open ur mouth
- ^ someone acting normally around u until u speak and they look at you like Oh
- not knowing whether to introduce yourself with Mr or Mrs or Mx because wtf will this person im talking to react like - having ur guardians/parents’ family over and tHe BIg COnFuSioN
- a parent who really doesn’t want to tell any of their friends that their “precious son/daughter” is no longer what they were
- being looked up and down for a good 10 ten minutes before the person moves on
- not being able to breathe for a MINUTE without someone asking you what gender you are what genitals you have why you dress the way you do etc
- not being able to “just keep your head down and ignore everyone else” because people want to make it Very Clear that they don’t like whatever’s going on with your gender

feel free to add

4

It’s almost Father’s Day, time to reach out to your emotionally distant garbage fire of a clonedaddy who created you in a lab and subjected you to cruel experiments in the name of vague science! Or don’t. Don’t do that.

Just a collection of self-indulgent doodles based on a post-pacifist scenario where @zarla-s’ handplates Gaster comes back from the void somehow and everyone remembers him again, which causes a ton of drama but mostly dysfunctional family shenanigans. 

In the first one Papyrus is teaching Gaster how to drive, though halfway through it occurred to me that Gaster might not be legally able to drive what with his lack of depth perception. Oh well, something being an insanely bad idea has never stopped him before. Sans is there to offer moral support.

I call the next one “Just Hug Your Son You Piece of Shit Trash Man”

Sometimes the hardest thing to accept about abusers/toxic relationships is that these people care(d) about you, or at least thought they did.

It’s easy to think of stereotypical ‘abusers’ as these Big Bad Monsters who have no regard for your wellbeing.
It’s easy but it isn’t always true.

They may well be like that, but they might also be that one person from school who always texts to make sure you’re okay. They might be the family member that tries to cheer you up. They might be the friend you’ve had for as long as you can remember.
There is no template for abuse and there is no template for abusers, everyone experiences it differently.

No matter how much these people care about you or love you, if they are abusing you it is absolutely okay to cut them out of your life.
You don’t owe them anything because of how they might feel about you.