I guess this isn’t revenge, but I’ve had enough of people policing what I wear.
I live in Wisconsin and it gets hella cold here. Like last winter it was -50 with windchill so I try and stay as warm as possible. In the town we are in the public transit is pretty much free and so I take the bus everywhere, and they have a very strange mix of people that I see and meet all the time so I’m used to people being nosey and saying stuff.
One night I’m returning home after an 11 hour day of work and the gym and I had recently bought an oversized scarf that was in the women’s section because men’s scarves just don’t cover enough. I am wrapped in its warmth when a woman on the bus asked me if I was wearing a woman’s scarf. I told her I was and she replied with, “you’re a man, you shouldn’t be wearing women’s things.”
I didn’t miss a damn beat, I replied with: “ma'am (very polite) since you’re so concerned with what I am doing, Let me be concerned with what you’re doing. 1. Stop tanning. 2. Invest in a good wig. 3. Try buying your make up anywhere else but dollar store.”
And at that moment my bus reached my stop and I told her goodnight while her mouth was agape and went on home. That’ll teach her to mind her own business.
Choosing the 10 items or less check out line at Walmart for your 80+ item shopping spree? Enjoy waiting 10 extra minutes while I block you in.
Yesterday I was shopping at a pretty busy Walmart right after work with the gf. We were getting a few cheap bar stools for our new apartment. Self checkout was pretty packed so I went to the 10 items or less line that only had 3 people in it. I notice some commotion coming from the person in front of the old lady in front of me with the cashier. The cashier politely asked for his women in her early 40s if she can go in one of the other lines that have way more counter space for ringing things up. I felt like that was a reasonable request because her cart was so full of food and clothing I was surprised it wasn’t falling out the sides.
Well this lady flat out refused stating “I waited my turn in line you have to ring me up or I’m complaining to your manager.” The cashier folded and started to ring up her items. Soon the small counter space was filled up and so was the bagging area but this women’s cart was still half full. She complained once more scowling and saying “Can’t you hurry it up a bit? I need to beat rushour traffic so I can make dinner in time for church (Ash Wednesday was yesterday when this happened).” The cashier then says “this would take less time if you went to the regular lanes where they have a bagger.”
At this point the old lady in front of me just leaves the line to go to a different line to get her bananas. My girlfriend is getting annoyed at this point and wants to switch too but I’m a pretty patient person. My girlfriend starts making passive aggressive remarks loud enough for the lady in front to hear but not to her face. Stuff along the lines of “I hate those idiots who take hundreds of items to the express lane.” You could tell this lady heard it because she started getting flustered.
About 5 minutes later she finally finished. After we had finished packing up our car and heading for the exit, we saw that lady putting the last of her groceries in her minivan. I decided to slow to a stop in front of her car blocking her in and turn the car off. I told my gf to be patient for a few minutes and winked that our battery had died. I hopped out of the car, popped the hood, and disconnecting the battery. This lady starts honking like crazy so I turned to her and just shrugged. She got out of her car yelling at me to move. I told her no can do the car just died and won’t start up. I pretended to call a tow truck and told her she would have to wait 30 min for it to get there. This lady had a mental breakdown started cussing me out and eventually climbed back in her car. Around 10 min later the people in the car in front of her got back and started unloading their groceries. She started honking and yelling at them to hurry up. Amazingly this just made them go slower. They eventually finished and pulled out and the rude lady was free to go. I reconnected the battery after she left and laughed about it with my gf all the way home.
Sbarro Shanin 1000, 1983. Presented as a prototype at the Geneva Motor show based on the C126 series Mercedes Benz 500 SEC but fitted with Mercedes 6.9 litre V8, the gull-winged Shanin was made in limited numbers
Rude ticket inspector gets a taste of her own medicine.
Apologies in advance for the length of this, but I cant help but talk about it, it was probably my favourite moment ever.
So I’m on the train heading into the city to attend a lecture (Im a 21 y/o student, male), having a pleasant enough morning.. it was maybe 20 minutes to 9. I missed my usual quarter past 8 train which is normally crammed full of morning commuters, but not to worry as class didn’t start until 9, and I usually stop by and grab a bacon roll and a cup of tea, but I’d make class with 5 minutes to spare if I gave up my bacony goodness (tragedy, I know)
I had just recently upgraded my bank account and got a new debit card that allowed me to use the card to pay for my train tickets on the train, which was handy because the machines can be slow and I have missed a few trains in the past when using my old debit card that only worked on these machines, not the handheld one that she has on her person.. so I thought why not use this opportunity to test out the new card..
As I said it was the train after the usual busy commute, but the carriage was still at least ¾ full.. the ticket inspector comes by, and she’s a middle aged English woman (I live in Scotland) who I have seen before and have noticed that she can be very rude and obnoxious, and thinks she’s god gift because she has authority on the train.. She starts to check peoples tickets, tapping her feet and huffing with impatience at people who have to dig around in their pockets to find their ticket before she can move on, clearly not pleased that people don’t have them at the ready..
I’m sitting there with my earphones in, minding my own business with my new debit card at the ready. As she approaches me and asks to see a ticket, I flick out one earphone and tell her what type of ticket I need and where I was going.. around this time we were going through a tunnel so there was a bit of a reverberation of the sound of wind gushing through the carriage.. she asks me to repeat myself because she claims she couldn’t hear me, so I repeat my request.. now I don’t know if she had hearing problems or being English she couldn’t seem to understand my Scottish accent (which isn’t very strong at all) because I had to repeat myself a total of 3 more times! Each time I was progressively getting louder and louder until I was almost shouting, and I could see other people on the train looking up, clearly curious as to why I was talking so loud, proving that they could hear me just fine.. finally she understands what I’m trying to ask her, and then says in her most bitchy, condescending tone.. “WELL IF YOU MAYBE TOOK OUT YOUR OTHER EARPHONE WHILE TALKING, I MIGHT BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU BETTER”..
I sat for a couple seconds in confusion, absorbing what she just said… it didn’t make sense, but all attention was on me and her now, and I could see confusion at her statement registering on other nearby passengers faces as well. Not one for confrontation I swiftly apologised and handed her my debit card.. she huffed and whipped out her card machine, but it seemed like my morning was only going to get worse because my new card got declined.. I have money in my account but later that day I learned that I had to call/text a number to activate my new card which I forgot to do.. She was visibly irritated when I asked her to try and ring it up again, but no luck..
Im starting to get a bit red in the face cause at least half the train is looking in my direction, some people were looked sympathetic towards me, others just smirked at my misfortune… Luckily I keep 20 pounds behind my phone cover in case of emergencies, so I ask her to bear with me while I take my phone out my pocket and crack open the case, then present her with the 20 note.
Now maybe it was because I was a young male, or maybe it was because the note was behind my phone case, but when I handed it to her, she snatched it off me and then HELD IT UP TO THE LIGHT and scrutinised it for literally 15-20 seconds to see if it was fake.. this is strange cause it has never happened before and I have used many 20 pound notes to pay for a ticket before.. I ask her if there’s a problem with the note, to which she replies in a loud voice ‘I’ll tell you in a minute boy’ - OH SHIT, SHE DID NOT JUST CALL ME BOY.. you could cut the tension in the carriage with a knife, all eyes were on this transaction at this point..
Finally, she seems to accept my note as legal tender, and digs around in her purse for my change.. I received a few coins back, a 5 pound note, and a 10 pound note.. as she handed me the change she started to walk away.. but I saw my one and only chance at revenge so I loudly said 'hang on a minute’… and you can probably guess what happened next.. I held those notes up to the light, scrutinizing them so intensely it seemed like I was going to burn a hole right through them.. as I did this, the entire carriage erupted in laughter, and the old couple closest to me started an applause which spread throughout the majority of the spectators..
The ticket woman’s face turned a deep shade of violet. she hastily made her way to the next carriage, not even bothering to check the remaining people’s tickets. Justice was served, and I felt absolutely amazing.. and that was my favourite day ever.
TL;DR: ticket woman suspects me of giving her counterfeit money, so I suspect her right back..
Klaine Valentines 2016: Day 13- Can You Feel The Love Tonight
word count: 320
A sick!fic that takes places in late season 2. AO3
When Kurt cancels their date and tells Blaine not to drive up from Dalton - no it’s fine Blaine, I have a fever is all - the last thing he expects is to see him on his doorstep. Blaine’s in looser than normal jeans and a comfy sweater, holding his messenger bag and a big smile on his face.
“Not that I appreciate it, but why are you here?” Kurt asks, suddenly insecure in his loose pajamas and wrapped in his comforter.
“I brought movies,” Blaine offers, gesturing to his satchel.
For drabble requests, perhaps Sam has a girlfriend, and she tells him that she's pregnant the same night that he proposes to her? With smut at the end?
“You spoil me way too much.” You protested, putting your silverware on the now-empty plate and started to rise. Sam definitely had something planned tonight; Dean was spending the night at a motel, and Sam had gotten takeout at your favorite place.
“I spoil you the right amount.” Sam corrected. He stood before you, holding up a hand palm out to halt your rise. “Let me.” You smiled bashfully, his chivalry still touching you no matter how long you’d been together.
“Do you have room for dessert?” Sam asked, taking both of your plates and disappearing into the kitchen.
“Definitely. What is it?” You called, leaning to the side in your chair in a fruitless attempt to see into the kitchen.
“A surprise.” Sam called back enigmatically. You sighed and sat back in your chair, still wondering how you’d tell him.
Lost in thought, you didn’t notice Sam coming back into the room until he set a plate down in front of you. You gave him a smile as thanks, and glanced down at the plate.
A generous slice of chocolate cake, with your favorite type of icing on it. And stuck on top of the icing, was a single engagement ring. Your eyes went huge, and you glanced back over at Sam in shock. Sam smiled fondly, and dropped to one knee next to you.
“Y/n,” Sam started. “I love you. I-”
“YES!” You shouted, interrupting him. You couldn’t wait any longer. You half fell from your chair as you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him. Sam laughed and caught you.
“I had a whole speech ready.” Sam murmured into your hair.
“I don’t care. Yes, I will marry you. I love you, too.”
You both held each other for a long moment, before Sam gently pushed you fully back onto the chair. Your breath caught as he grabbed the ring from the cake and slid it onto your hand. His smile was brilliant and lit up the room; you couldn’t believe how happy you were. How happy he was.
“I almost forgot,” you broke the moment after a few seconds of staring at each other. “I have news for you.”
“What kind of news?” Sam asked, frowning curiously and looking a little worried.
“Well,” you began, glancing away from him at the slice of cake sitting on the table. “It’s going to be a short honeymoon.” You told him, sliding one palm over your belly. You took a deep breath, gathering courage before you looked back at him.
At first, Sam was adorably confused. Then, slowly, comprehension dawned over his expression, and awe and incredible happiness came over him like the sun coming out.
“You - I-” Sam stuttered. He looked stunned, and for a moment you were worried. “You’re pregnant?” He finally asked in a small voice.
You couldn’t speak, the part of your brain convinced he was crushing stealing your voice in fear, and just nodded in the affirmative.
Sam swept you off the chair, standing and hugging you with a wordless, happy exclamation.
“This is - I- wow.” Sam was still stuttering, but the delight in his tone was clear enough that you gave a laugh of giddy relief. “I love you.’ Sam pulled your face back, smiling at you before capturing your lips in a passionate kiss.
“I want my cake.” When he finally released your lips, your were dazed from the desire he awoke in you and spoke without thinking. Sam laughed.