First day at Camp Halfblood: Welcome!! here’s your cabin, here’s your new family, hey, don’t wanna fight? That’s fine! You can help out on the farm, invent, play, just have a good time you’re part of our family now and we love you and are so proud of you and
First day at Camp Jupiter: Ok here’s where we force our campers to battle to the death on a daily basis now go train in the woods for months with a pack of wolves who will probably eat you if you aren’t good enough to be here welcome to camp you little shit
there are so many to choose from, but I think my favourite glaring mistake in a dan brown novel comes from angels and demons, where the self-insert professor dude tells his class of awed students that christian communion, where they symbolically eat the body of christ, comes from the Aztecs.
communion, which has existed since the 1st century
comes from the aztecs, whose civilisation began to flourish in the 14th century
in central america, where they had no contact with europeans until the 16th century.
some people get really infuriated about dan brown claiming all his books are “based on fact” but I just find it funny, like come on, the comedic value in this is too good to get mad
the entire banquet scene in titus andronicus. oh my god, y’all. really that should just count as four bullet points right there because it is a CLUSTERFUCK and i love every horrifying second of it
speaking of titus, i’m also gonna say mutius’ death, not because it’s super important or anything, but it’s so shocking to see this guy just fuckin’ stab his son
like, imagine being the first actor to play mutius. “oh cool, i’m mutius what do i get to do?” “uh…die. ” “and?” “that’s it. that’s literally it”
………………can i also say chiron and demetrius’ death? i’m gonna do it, because pies
lear’s death, because it’s so shockingly unpoetic. he just [dies]. it doesn’t matter that he was a king or anything. he finds out his daughter’s dead and then he himself just dies right then and there. (i don’t actually love king lear but that’s mostly because it is too viscerally painful for me to deal with on an extended level)
speaking of painful deaths: if desdemona’s death in othello doesn’t cause your audience to physically writhe in their seats because the whole scenario is so awful on an emotional level you’re doing it wrong
…also does “exit, pursued by a bear” from the winter’s tale count as a death scene for antigonus? no? fuck you i’m adding it anyway
there are some cities that are pronounced totally differently outside their native language and it makes no sense…like sevilla vs. seville, lisboa vs. lisbon, firenze vs. florence…anyway i made this post because i saw someone spell “tijuana” the wrong way. you know which way.