"How I do ask the girl I'm seeing to be my official Facebook Status girlfriend?"
-Question submitted by Anonymous
“Ey girl, I’m about to change my relaysh status on Facebook, you want summa this?”
“we dating or what? facebook wants to know”
“Look I asked a question on everyoneisgay.com and they answered it!” show her your computer and open your eyes real wide and stare at her until she’s finished reading it and say “get it?”
Get down on one knee at your next dinner-date OR WHATEVER YOU KIDS DO THESE DAYS, and say, “I know it’s only been a few months, but I was wondering…” and then pull out a ring case and on the inside have a Facebook icon instead of a ring.
Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook (and wealth) may be making Tumblr headlines today. But we take a look at a Bronze Age version of Facebook that has emerged from granite rocks in Russia and northern Sweden, revealing a thousands-of-years-old timeline filled with an archaic version of the Facebook “like.”
Mind you, this an industry that had to be saved from itself through a massive infusion of cash from the federal government (ie., you and me, the people who pay taxes). And what was the lesson learned from the brush with disaster? You tell me. JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, the face of oblivious Wall Street wealth, received $23 million in total compensation last year, about the same as the year before, according to Bloomberg. (Yes, I know JP Morgan repaid its $25 billion in taxpayer money.)
So you’ll have to pardon me if I get a few chuckles out of the irreverence of a young entrepreneur who, far as I know, hasn’t been subsidized by taxpayers and hasn’t risked taking the global economy off a cliff.
Mark Zuckerberg should wear a hoodie to every single business meeting for the rest of his life. Just to annoy Wall Street.
In a conversation in Washington today, Mark Zuckerberg said he thinks of Facebook as a utility for its 1.1 billion worldwide users – the electric company of the 21st century. “I want to produce something that’s a fundamental service for the world,” he said.
In a wide-ranging conversation with Atlantic Editor in Chief James Bennet at the Newseum on Wednesday, the Facebook CEO talked about immigration, the National Security Agency, and how uncool he actually is.
Software may reduce humans, but there are degrees. Fiction reduces humans, too, but bad fiction does it more than good fiction, and we have the option to read good fiction. Jaron Lanier’s point is that Web 2.0 “lock-in” happens soon; is happening; has to some degree already happened. And what has been “locked in”? It feels important to remind ourselves, at this point, that Facebook, our new beloved interface with reality, was designed by a Harvard sophomore with a Harvard sophomore’s preoccupations. What is your relationship status? (Choose one. There can be only one answer. People need to know.) Do you have a “life”? (Prove it. Post pictures.) Do you like the right sort of things? (Make a list. Things to like will include: movies, music, books and television, but not architecture, ideas, or plants.)
But here I fear I am becoming nostalgic. I am dreaming of a Web that caters to a kind of person who no longer exists. A private person, a person who is a mystery, to the world and—which is more important—to herself. Person as mystery: this idea of personhood is certainly changing, perhaps has already changed.