zozo

Ouija Board FAQ Masterpost! With links!

Q: How do I play the Ouija board?

A: The rules are pretty simple.

Q: Is it safe to play the Ouija board?

A: Depends on your state of mind.

Q: Are Ouija boards dangerous?

A: No.

Q: Is it safe to play the Ouija board alone?

A: Ehhh kinda? Depends on your definition of safe.

Q: Is it safe to play the Ouija board in a graveyard? Or my house? 

A: Yes.

Q: Is it safe to play on Halloween?

A: It’s the best time to play.

Q: Is there anything specific I should or should not do while I play?

A: Totes.

Q: Do I have to say “Goodbye” after each session?

A: YES.

Q: Can the Ouija board tell you your future?

A: I wouldn’t bet on it.

Q: Are Ouija boards “just a game”?

A: By definition, yes.

Q: Is the Ouija board really safe for “ages 8 and up?”

A: Sure.

Q: Can I contact my deceased loved one on the Ouija board?

A: I don’t recommend it.

Q: What kind of spirits can you contact with the Ouija board?

A: There are three kinds.

Q: How do I dispose of my Ouija board?

A: However you want.

Q: How do I make a Ouija board?

A: It’s really simple.

Q: The planchette moved in figure 8′s/counted down the numbers, moved off the board! What does that mean?

A: Nothing.

Q: The Ouija board spelled out nonsense words, what does it mean? 

A: This is a common occurrence that could mean lots of things.

Q: Why do my parents hate Ouija boards?

A: For a lot of reasons, mostly Hollywood lies.

Q: Does the Ouija board create a portal for spirits?

A: No.

Q: Can you summon a demon through a Ouija board?

A: No.

Q: Who are Zozo and Mama?

A: Morons who are definitely not dangerous.

Q: Can you become possessed after playing the Ouija board?

A: No.

Q: What’s the Charlie Charlie Challenge?

A: A hoax, but I wrote about it before it was debunked.

Q: Is it safe to wear Ouija board clothes and accessories?

A: Very safe.

Q: What are poltergeists?

A: Spirits that can move stuff.

Q: I have a spooky feeling after I play, is my house haunted?

A: Signs point to no.

Q: Spooky stuff happened after I played! Was it a ghost?

A: Probably not.

Q: There’s spirit activity in my house? What should I do?

A: Calm down, read this.

Q: What’s the difference between a ghost and a spirit?

A: There are a lot of distinct differences.

Q: What kind of games can we play with the Ouija board?

A: I know a few fun ones.

Q: What’s a spirit guide?

A: A friend you’re not supposed to know about.

Q: Can you fall in love with a spirit, or can a spirit fall in love with you?

A: NO

Q: I woke up with a bruise, was it a spirit?

A: Probably not.

Q: I woke up in the middle in the night and couldn’t move! Was a spirit holding me down?

A: No, you had sleep paralysis, and it’s not paranormal.

Q: You know the Ouija board isn’t real, right? It’s all the Ideomotor Effect.

A: Wow. Thanks Dr. Science.

Q: Why doesn’t the Ouija board work for me?

A: There are a lot of reasons why.

Troll Spirits, and how to Deal with them

I get a lot of asks from people saying that they’ve contacted a spirit that won’t leave them alone. They spell out rude or offensive things, and when they’re asked to leave the game, they refuse. Whenever they play, they contact the same asshole spirit. My advice as always been to just tell them to leave, and threaten to never speak to them again if they act up, and when they do act up to just say “Goodbye”, and repeat until they get the clue and leave them alone forever. If you’re reading my blog, you’re probably well versed in The Internet, and you know not to feed the trolls. Don’t pay attention to trolls, because attention is what they want, and once they get it they will go crazy and never leave you alone. So my theory has always been to not feed troll spirits through the Ouija board.

I’ve defined these spirits before as trickster spirits, as in spirits that lie, pretend to be people they’re not (like celebrities, your dead relative, a demon, or Zozo), and do weird things with the planchette in order to freak you out for fun. But I want to talk about the certain kind of tricksters that are just annoying, and we are going to refer them here as Troll Spirits or Asshole Spirits, because that’s what they are. They act like twelve-year-old boys who like to write things like “boobs” over and over, or just want to talk about sex, or just be assholes in general. And, being gross pre-teen boys, they won’t leave you alone. 

Now I had never encountered a troll spirit before, and was giving this advice about how to get rid of them without ever having to get rid of them. That changed when one of my followers messaged me to do a reading with them and meet a spirit that wouldn’t leave them alone. We’ve made a fun Ouija board playing group out of it*, and I asked two members to write about their experiences with this spirit. Here’s literallyjensen

The first time we met Zam, the proclaimed “demon,” was while ouija-ing in a cemetery. His first words were “penis” and “69.” This was the first time my friends and I had really used the board and got a response, and as naive as we were, full heartedly believed we had befriended a demon who really didn’t seem all that demonic. Months and months went by, and sometimes we’d drop into the graveyard to talk to him. He had begun to target my friend J___, saying that he wanted to have sex with her, along with another “demon” named “Mem” who wanted to fuck our friend A___. Slowly but surely, more people got involved with this plot, and it seemed that Zam’s trickery was really working. But after a while of him making up insane stories and agreeing with random accusations, we began to distrust him quite a bit. He wasn’t doing anything scary like we thought a demon should, but more like he was just acting like a general troll, and we started to think we had made a new friend, despite how annoying his presence was. It had gotten to the point where every time we picked up a board, Zam would be there first. He would sometimes pretend to be other spirits, then later revealing himself by spelling out “Z-A-M-A-M-A-M-A-M-A-M….” and faster and faster as he went until we commanded him to stop. It became obvious when my friend Lucas and I picked up our own board and began sessions at his house that Zam was, for lack of a better word, “stuck” to me. Wherever I went, he went too, and he leeched on to other friends of mine that had joined in on ouija sessions. When we finally met up with theouijagirl, we embarked on the journey to find out who Zam was and why he was following me. The problem escalated when we were barely allowed to talk to spirits we trusted, because he would pretend to be someone he wasn’t and we wouldn’t know otherwise unless we had the spirit tell us something Zam wouldn’t know. If the spirit was unable to answer the specific questions, or was relying too heavily on gibberish, we would ask if it was Zam. More often than not, he would begin to spell his name and we would tell him to leave. It got to the point where theouijagirl ended up seeing him trying to manifest in the corner of the room and I had to verbally banish him. He still continues to show up and although less than before, this spirit is still sticking around and we are left with more questions than answers.

Bascially Zam is an asshole that knows he can get attention and seeks it out desperately. He has no interest in changing his ways. This is still really shocking to me, because Zam obviously knows that we think he’s an asshole and we’re tired of him, but he still won’t give up. My original advice of saying Goodbye whenever he appears gets really old. But what else is there to do?

Zam’s encounters with my friend lukasz-marek was a lot more personal: 

So I’m a pagan, and I naively began using the ouija board, not only because I wanted to try it, but because I thought I would be able to contact different entities.

So, my friend and I, who will probably also be writing up some stories, have been getting trolled by some kid claiming to be a demon named Zam. Harmless, but incredibly annoying.

We used a home-made board at first but eventually we just got one from a local shop. Well, his mom didn’t want it in his house and I honestly didn’t care if it was in my car or anything so it stayed with me.

Constantly being told I couldn’t use the ouija board made me do exactly that thing - low and behold it actually worked. Against popular opinion, I would be on the board for hours at a time on my days off. Why? Because Zam decided to make some friends up/bring some other spirits along to play some major mind games with me.

Mostly it was entertaining nonsense and none of it made any sense. I’m not going to go into too much detail with what happened with that group, because honestly I’m embarrassed to have believed any of it.

But I do want to describe in detail, about my experience with a spirit parading around as a deity. Not just pretending to be a demon or a faerie or a fucking unicorn, but a deity that I had interest in working with, and was trying to develop a relationship with.

This spirit claimed to be this deity, made up stories, backtracked, lied and manipulated me. This wasn’t fun anymore.

So not only was it impossible -when said deity actually did come around with some pretty obvious signs- to practice any sort of discernment, I couldn’t trust that it was actually him, and I was putting for ideas about the relationship because of what the spirit had preached.

So basically, moral of the story is that these spirits are trolling. I was never physically harmed. Lighting candles and chanting prayers doesn’t keep the demons away because there are no demons.

Most of the time, the spirits are going to play on whatever you say. If you ask if they are evil, they’ll pretend to be evil. You say demons can’t come, they are going to troll you as a demon. They are going to make up scenarios where they become the good guy but in actuality, it was them the whole time.

Again. The worst that happened to me was that I had to re-evaluate my beliefs and relationships with the unseen. That’s it.

No possessions. No demons. No evil, blah blah blah.

One time I thought I was possessed.

It was because I had been closing my eyes for so long and had been scrunching up my entire face, that my vision went red for five seconds.

Never happened again.

I got heat flashes at the same time the ‘deity’ got ‘angry’ at me.

I’m on high levels of testosterone which induce some side-effects similar to menopause, such as heat flashes.

The spirits are manipulating you. It’s all psychosomatic and you need to calm the frick down. 

As Larry Wilmore would say, Lucas is keeping it 100. Don’t ever trust spirits that seem too good to be true. They are trolls.

So my advice stays the same. If you want a spirit to leave, tell it to leave. Threaten it to leave. But don’t give it too much of your attention, because that’s what it wants. When it appears again on your board, tell them Goodbye. No frills, just Goodbye, because they want the frills. They want to be annoyed and mad and frustrated because it’s hilarious to them. So don’t act that way. Just “Goodbye”, and that’s it.

If you have any Ouija board or spirit related questions, let me know.

*If you are in the San Francisco Bay Area and want to play the Ouija board, let me know, I don’t charge anything (since it’s a board game).

31 Days of Ouija Blogs: Day 5- Zozo!

Yesterday I discussed demons, and how they cannot contact you through a Ouija board. Usually when I say this to people on Tumblr, they answer with, “Oh yeah, well what about Zozo???”

What about Zozo.

First of all, there has never been a documented demon named Zozo. Here is a list of theological demons we know by name. At the bottom is Zozo, looking sad without his own Wikipedia page. This is because he does not exist. The closest guess we have is the demon Pazuzu, most famous for being the star of The Exorcist and a few Gorillaz music videos. But if this ancient demon did come through the Ouija board, why would be give himself a nickname? Demons are boastful creatures; they’re gonna give you their full name if you ask for it.

Second, if this is a demon, then their sole purpose is to go around the world and scare people on the Ouija board. What kind of pathetic demon is that? If this was all demons were capable of, then Hell is probably a chill, relaxed place where nothing bad could really happen to you. Demons can accomplish way, way more than that. Ouija boards re for spirit communication, and spirits are one of the weakest supernatural beings, so if a demon was on that level, then they’re probably not even a demon. 

Third, let’s talk about the name. They go by “Zozo” because those are the two letters on the opposite ends of the board. Same goes for Mama, M and A are on the opposite sides. Spirits know they can scare people by making the planchette do weird stuff, like spell out things quickly and repeatedly, making it seem like the spirit is erratic and out of control. If they just spelled out something like “DADA” or something else that had letters close together, it’s not as scary. The spirit wants the planchette to fly across the board as wildly as possible, so it goes from one side of the alphabet to the other. That’s how you get the name Zozo. It isn’t some mystical reference, it’s literally how the board is laid out. I can guarantee you that if you changed around the letters and put like T and I on opposite sides, you’re eventually get a spirit that spells out TITI over and over, trying to scare you. Same goes for spirits that like to spell out Zaza, Zamo, Moza, and other combinations of the letters on the sides of the board.

The lore now is called the Rainbow Effect, where the planchette goes across the alphabet like a rainbow to spell out Zozo. Apparently if you do this, the spirit is trying to release itself from the board. Of course, spirits are already “free”, nothing is trapped in the board, and the spirit is just trying to see how gullible you are. Nothing will happen to you if the Rainbow Effect happens to you

So what is the point of spelling out Zozo? Basically it’s a scare tactic. Spirits get energy from you, and the best way to get you energized is by scaring you. The best way to scare you is to say they’re a demon and that they’re trying to be released from the board. But think of it this way: Zozo is a Catfish. This spirit is impersonating a demon, saying they’re a demon, and trying to act like a demon does, but the minute you try to Facetime or Skype with them, their connection is bad, or their webcam is broken. Zozo spirits can only do so much, but if you actually expect them to deliver some demonic stuff, don’t.

What do you do if you contact a Zozo or Mama? Tell them to stop. Say you know what they’re trying to do, it’s cute that they tried, but you do not want to talk to them if they’re going to do this. I’ve had many people message me and say they do this, and nine times out of then the spirit apologizes and the session goes normally. Every once ina while you’ll get some spirit who is immature and just wants to mess around and keep trying to do the Zozo thing, even if they promise they won’t. In that case, end the game. Don’t give them the time of day. Don’t feed the trolls.

So what have we learnd today?

-Zozo is not a demon

-”Zozo” is a Catfish name used by mulitple spirits to scare you

-The name is not based off of any theological demon

-The Rainbow Effect doesn’t do anything

-The easiest way to stop a Zozo spirit is to tell them to stop

For a few more blogs, check out my posts on whether or not Ouija boards are portals, if you can get possessed through a Ouija board, and if Ouija boards are just games.

Tomorrow I’m going to talk in detail about whether or not Ouija boards are portals, and hey! It’s the fifth day of my blog project! So for it’s going smoothly, but I’m going on vacation this weekend, so if a post comes a day late, my apologies (but I will do my best to stay on top of it). You can check out my #31ouijadays tag to see the other blog posts, or follow the link here.

Day 1- Ouija History

Day 2- Ouija Board Stigma

Day 3- Is The Ouija Board Really Dangerous?

Day 4- Demons!

Playing the Ouija Board alone, Part 1

As a medium, I have some good friends in the spirit world. They have all informed me that you cannot play the Ouija board alone, and that it does not work in the correct way as it would with other people. Since all of my Ouija board knowledge came from the spirit world, I assumed that was how it worked. Then I went on Tumblr.

I have been informed by some angry and upset Anons that people in fact CAN play a Ouija board by themselves. And so many came forward that I have to believe it’s true. I now realize that what my spirit friends meant was that *I* can’t use a Ouija board alone. When they said “you can’t use a Ouija board” they meant ME, not everyone in general.

Which I mean, that’s kind of a bummer because I live alone and it would be nice to get to play again. But whatever.

So I asked Tumblr to tell me their stories about playing by themselves, just to get an idea about whether or not this is a good idea, and I came across two discoveries, and I’m gonna address the first one here. 

If playing a Ouija board truly works by yourself, it seems like a very dangerous thing to do. I’d say about 95% of the response I got were stories of people playing by themselves and contacting negative spirits, like Zozo. Then the board spells out negative, scary things. I’m not sure why people would want this in their lives. I mean, I get why people want to be dangerous and talk to Zozo for themselves, the problem is that Zozo isn’t real, and all you’re doing is fuelling some negative spirit and drawing attention to yourself for negative spirits. 

Energy needs to flow, and when you play with someone, your energy goes into the board and then to your friend (or friends), which generates enough energy for a spirit to move the planchette. When you play by yourself, you are basically dumping all of your energy into one thing, and that’s can’t be good for you, especially if a negative spirit is the recipient of it. So the short answer is, I would not recommend playing by yourself.

And as for the 5% that had non-negative spirits contact them, it seemed they spelled out gibberish or the sessions didn’t last very long. If you’ve played by yourself and have had a long, meaningful conversation with a friendly spirit, do let me know please.