I get a lot of questions every day on my Ouija board advice blog, and usually they’re the same questions over and over. So instead of answering each one, I usually post a link to a post that answers their question while stating Read This. Apparently it’s become my iconic catchphrase. So here is a long post of all things I typically tell people to read.
-Ouija boards are incredibly dangerous and you should not mess with them!
~Ouija boards are very safe as long as you’re playing in the right frame of mind. Read this.
-Is it safe to wear Ouija board clothes and accessories?
~Very much so. Read this.
-How do you pronounce Ouija?
-Wee-gee in America, Wee-juh in other English speaking countries. Read this.
This is just for Ouija board related asks. In a few months, I’ll post an FAQ for more pagan and spirit related stuff. In the meantime, you can check out a mini FAQ here. And hey, if you didn’t see the answer to a question you have, ask away.
*this post is currently being edited and will be added to this post presently
“That’s…That’s not how Ouija boards work. And the apps are not a reliable indicator of activity because their shit is randomly generated.”
“Why are you ASKING the tiny mysterious child to come in and play? Are you fucking stupid?”
“Why is it white people? Why do these shows almost always feature random white middle-America fluffheads without the sense God gave a goose? Is it because they do dumb shit more often or because POC families are quicker to recognize spirit bullshit and move the hell out?“
“-blink- Lady, that is NOT the 91st Psalm.”
“Wait, so you saw random geometric symbols doodled in a closet and you automatically thought OMG SATANIC? What kind of ignorant jackass….”
“RECREATIONAL TAROT CARD READING DOES NOT RANDOMLY SUMMON SPIRITS, YOU USELESS CARDBOARD SUBMARINE!”
“Since when is divination the same as spirit-summoning? What is this bullshit? Read a goddamn book, people, holy crap.”
“No no no, you can’t just set herbs on fire and think that’s it. You have to put some oomph behind it and claim your space. Holy shit, if you can’t use the sage properly, put it the fuck down.”
“You moved into a house that the realtor was literally afraid to walk around in, did you think there was no REASON for that!?”
“Oh you ignored your wife and kids being terrified cause you’re skeptical of spirits, mister big tough man? How’d that work out for ya? Thrown down the stairs you say? Gee, that’s rough.”
“Why does NOBODY listen to their kids when they say they see weird shit!?”
-the second anybody mentions Zozo- “OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. OH MY. GOD OH MY GOD. OHHHH MY GOD.”
“Ohhh yes, there was a witch who lived in the house once. Totally the cause of your haunting because we all know that the only thing witches do is sit around and summon evil spirits.
Much wicked. Very scare. Wow.”
“Yanno, witches aren’t automatically evil and hauntings can be nasty without being demonic. Your fundie financial backers are showing.”
“Listen, numb nuts, surfing the internet to find out what’s clomping around your house at night is kind of like going to WebMD to figure out why you have a stomachache. The answer you find is always going to be way more dire than what’s actually going on. Sheesh.”
First of all, there has never been a documented demon named Zozo. Here is a list of theological demons we know by name. At the bottom is Zozo, looking sad without his own Wikipedia page. This is because he does not exist. The closest guess we have is the demon Pazuzu, most famous for being the star of The Exorcist and a few Gorillaz music videos. But if this ancient demon did come through the Ouija board, why would be give himself a nickname? Demons are boastful creatures; they’re gonna give you their full name if you ask for it.
Second, if this is a demon, then their sole purpose is to go around the world and scare people on the Ouija board. What kind of pathetic demon is that? If this was all demons were capable of, then Hell is probably a chill, relaxed place where nothing bad could really happen to you. Demons can accomplish way, way more than that. Ouija boards re for spirit communication, and spirits are one of the weakest supernatural beings, so if a demon was on that level, then they’re probably not even a demon.
Third, let’s talk about the name. They go by “Zozo” because those are the two letters on the opposite ends of the board. Same goes for Mama, M and A are on the opposite sides. Spirits know they can scare people by making the planchette do weird stuff, like spell out things quickly and repeatedly, making it seem like the spirit is erratic and out of control. If they just spelled out something like “DADA” or something else that had letters close together, it’s not as scary. The spirit wants the planchette to fly across the board as wildly as possible, so it goes from one side of the alphabet to the other. That’s how you get the name Zozo. It isn’t some mystical reference, it’s literally how the board is laid out. I can guarantee you that if you changed around the letters and put like T and I on opposite sides, you’re eventually get a spirit that spells out TITI over and over, trying to scare you. Same goes for spirits that like to spell out Zaza, Zamo, Moza, and other combinations of the letters on the sides of the board.
The lore now is called the Rainbow Effect, where the planchette goes across the alphabet like a rainbow to spell out Zozo. Apparently if you do this, the spirit is trying to release itself from the board. Of course, spirits are already “free”, nothing is trapped in the board, and the spirit is just trying to see how gullible you are. Nothing will happen to you if the Rainbow Effect happens to you.
So what is the point of spelling out Zozo? Basically it’s a scare tactic. Spirits get energy from you, and the best way to get you energized is by scaring you. The best way to scare you is to say they’re a demon and that they’re trying to be released from the board. But think of it this way: Zozo is a Catfish. This spirit is impersonating a demon, saying they’re a demon, and trying to act like a demon does, but the minute you try to Facetime or Skype with them, their connection is bad, or their webcam is broken. Zozo spirits can only do so much, but if you actually expect them to deliver some demonic stuff, don’t.
What do you do if you contact a Zozo or Mama? Tell them to stop. Say you know what they’re trying to do, it’s cute that they tried, but you do not want to talk to them if they’re going to do this. I’ve had many people message me and say they do this, and nine times out of ten the spirit apologizes and the session goes normally. Every once in a while you’ll get some spirit who is immature and just wants to mess around and keep trying to do the Zozo thing, even if they promise they won’t. In that case, end the game. Don’t give them the time of day. Don’t feed the trolls.
So what have we learned today?
-Zozo is not a demon
-”Zozo” is a Catfish name used by multiple spirits to scare you
-The name is not based off of any theological demon
-The Rainbow Effect doesn’t do anything
-The easiest way to stop a Zozo spirit is to tell them to stop
For a few more blogs, check out my posts on whether or not Ouija boards are portals, if you can get possessed through a Ouija board, and if Ouija boards are just games.
Tomorrow I’m going to talk in detail about whether or not Ouija boards are portals, and hey! It’s the fifth day of my blog project! So for it’s going smoothly, but I’m going on vacation this weekend, so if a post comes a day late, my apologies (but I will do my best to stay on top of it). You can check out my #31ouijadays tag to see the other blog posts, or follow the link here.