9 Reasons Why ’90s Girls Didn’t Feel Any Particular Sexual Attraction To Zordon

If you grew up in the ’90s, you DEFINITELY didn’t have the hots for Zordon.

1. He was just a floating head: Unlike JTT, Zack Morris, and the other ’90s hunks you drooled over, Zordon didn’t have that smokin’ hot bod to make you swoon. He was basically just a head that floated in one place and yelled orders at the Power Rangers.

2. He lived in a tube: He couldn’t physically go anywhere or do anything, which ruled him out of virtually all of your typical preteen fantasies. No, Zordon was never going to sweep you off your feet at the school dance. You couldn’t imagine him kissing you in the rain. At best, you could daydream about sitting a safe distance from his tube and going over flashcards with him.

3. It wasn’t clear if he was a human or an alien or what: The show didn’t really tell you what he was supposed to be, and it’s hard to have a crush on something if you don’t know what it is. If you grew up in the ’90s, chances are that Zordon’s ambiguous taxonomy posed a serious barrier to attraction.

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