Not Quite Dead Yet (Eddsworld Oneshot)
This is a post-End oneshot inspired by a post from @fluxduncan2 made awhile back. It’s got the neighbors, zombies, and Tord redemption. What more could you want?! Also, it’s pretty long by my standards.
Emptiness. If he had to pick one word to describe what he felt, it would be empty. At first, he thought the pain would go away after awhile. It did, but it left a numb feeling, a sense of being lost, not understanding how or why anything happened. He just felt empty. He sat in his backyard, staring into the sky. Practically hearing his friend call out to him, he sat up only to see a few trees rustling. It had been a few weeks since his neighbor’s-correction, ex-neighbor’s- old housemate showed up and destroyed everything with some robot he was hiding in their basement. Eduardo looked at the huge crater that had destroyed Edd’s house along with a good portion of his. Mark had silently helped him patch the place up, but it wasn’t the same without Jon.
The breeze rustled his hair as he looked at the grassless patch in his neighbor’s yard. Jon’s last moments still playing on an infinite repeat in his brain.
“Say something you idiot!”
He fought back tears as he thought of his friend’s smiling face turning away, his body going cold and becoming motionless. Blood-Jon’s blood- spilling out and flowing over the ground faster and faster until there was no more to spill.
Eduardo then thought about the small funeral his friend received. A small handful of Jon’s relatives had shown up, along with their neighbor trio. The three were eerily silent the whole time, still covered in injuries from the events that had taken his friend. Afterwords, people filled away from the tombstone, one by one, until it was just him and Edd. The two stood in the chilled dusk air in silence. Never moving or speaking until Edd turned to Eduardo.
“Listen, it’s my fault this happened.” Edd said quietly. Eduardo looked up at him. “I trusted Tord even when he started acting really suspicious. I bought his stupid lies and fell for his tricks. Jon is dead and it’s all my fault.” A tear fell down his face. “If you blame me and hate me for that I understand.” Edd looked up and the two’s gazes met.
“It’s not your fault.”
“You heard me you idiot! Mark ran out of there the second that old friend of yours started shooting. Said he was gonna go get some help.” Eduardo’s eyes filled with tears. “Jon and I stayed for some stupid reason. We should’ve gotten the hell out of there when we had the chance.” Edd opened his mouth to retort, but Eduardo stopped him. “It’s okay, this isn’t your fault. Don’t blame yourself Edd. Please.”
He looked into the sky sadly. None of the words fading, they simply echoed around for awhile. He sat in silence for a bit before someone started shouting his name.
“Um…Eduardo! Something’s happening!” He stood up.
“What is it Mark?” Mark had a look of panic on his face, he was panting and his forehead was covered in sweat.
“Th-the apocalypse!” He shouted. Eduardo stared in confusion.
“Woah, woah, calm down, what’s happening?” He heard a crash and saw a few people walking around in their house. “What the-?” A gunshot rang out in the air and one of the people fell over. Eduardo and Mark walked inside to see a few familiar faces. “Edd?”
“Oh look! You’re alright!” Edd said. Tom reloaded a handgun.
“Edd said we should come and make sure you two were alright, zombie apocalypse and all that.” Tom said while twirling the gun around. Matt clung very tightly to a metal baseball bat and Edd was wielding a sword. Mark pointed to a TV that was blasting news about the end of the world and possible connections to the supposed ‘purple rain’ from that morning.
“So, what you’re saying is that the zombie apocalypse is going on and we’re the only ones alive?” Eduardo asked. Tom shrugged.
“It’s not like we’ve never dealt with the apocalypse before.” Edd said. “I think this is number three, but technically it’s part five…” He mumbled.
“What should we do?!” Mark asked, gesturing out the window to the hordes of undead.
“Do you have any weapons in the house?” Edd asked. Eduardo shrugged and ran through the house frantically looking. He dashed passed Jon’s old room and felt his eyes water a bit, but had no time to grieve. After a few minutes he found a pistol and a spade. Tossing the pistol to Mark, he looked at Edd.
“Ready to go?” Matt asked, trying to hold a window closed as a few zombies fought to open it.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Eduardo said and the five ran out to the car parked in the driveway. Edd started the engine and as a zombie leapt onto the windshield. Matt shrieked and Tom stuck his arm out the window and shot at it. One bullet found its target, hitting the zombie in the arm. It winced and Edd sped off.
“Your old friend wouldn’t happen to have anymore huge weapons hidden on your old property, would he?” Mark asked as they sped down the street, hitting several zombies as they did so.
“Not that we know of. I’m pretty sure he only had the one giant robot.” Tom said. “And we didn’t have enough space to bring my harpoon gun with us.” He pulled a taser out of his pocket. “This is the only other thing I grabbed. Figured it might come in handy.” They managed to get to the borders of the city (and away from the biggest hordes) before they stopped for a bit.
“It looks like the entire town has been infected.” Matt said.
“Did we ever figure out how to cure zombies?” Tom asked, pulling out his trusty flask.
“Nope, usually they just disappear plot-conveniently after the zombie episodes.” Edd thought for a moment. “So, we can wait it out or try to figure out how to cure zombies.”
“Um…guys, we might have a slight problem.” Eduardo said, pointing to a rather large zombie horde approaching them. Tom aimed his pistol and Edd readied his sword. The zombies began to attack and the two groups fought for a few minutes until Eduardo saw something. A familiar flash of blue appeared in the corner of his eyes, then a familiar sounding voice groaned. He turned his head and saw a sight he remembered all too well, someone that was once one of his closest, and only, friends.
It was Jon.
Eduardo froze where he stood. The spade slipped out of his hands and clattered on the cement he was standing on. He fell to his knees, his gaze never wavering away from Jon. Edd looked over at him as he swung his sword around.
“What are you doing?!” Edd shouted.
“Eduardo, get up! You can’t die on me!” Mark yelled as he shot a few zombies that were quickly approaching his friend. Eduardo lifted a shakey hand in the air and slowly pointed upwards till he was pointing at the gaping hole in Jon’s chest.
“I-it’s…Jon.” He said and the others froze. Mark stared at him.
“No-no way.” He ran over to Jon. “Jon! Can you hear me? Say something if you can!” He turned around. “We have to find a way to fix him!” Eduardo saw a zombie approach Mark a few seconds too late.
“Look out Mark!” He cried, but Mark was already bitten. He watched in horror as his friend’s eyes went white and his skin became a sick green. Tom looked around.
“If we want to find a way to get them back to normal we have to go now!” He yelled, noticing the quickly growing horde.
“Mark! No!” Eduardo screamed. Matt grabbed him and dragged him back to the car where Tom and Edd were already waiting. “I can’t lose him too! Let me go!” He yelled, fighting Matt’s grip.
“We’ll figure out how to save them, I swear! But for now we have to go or we’ll get turned too!” Eduardo looked behind his shoulder and saw both of his friends. Tears flooded his eyes as he entered the car. Edd silently drove off. Eduardo stared out the window.
“We’ll find a way to fix this. We have to.” He said. Edd nodded.
“But, how will we find out how to cure zombification?” Tom asked. Several gunshots rang out through the air and all four guys turned to the source of the sound. They saw a man clad in black, blue, and red standing on a roof. A blue, military style trench coat hugged his torso and flew out behind his legs and a red sweater peaked out from underneath said coat. His right hand was a metal prosthetic painted red and black and an eyepatch covered his right eye. His light brown hair stood up and resembled demon horns. He grasped the gun in his left hand tightly and smirked. He leapt down from the one-story building and landed next to the car.
“Well, hello there. Nice to see you again-”Tom cut him off by slamming a fist into his face. “Okay, I deserved that.” He clenched the new bruise on the already heavily scarred side of his face. “But, I’m here to help.”
“And why exactly should we trust you after everything you did?!” Edd yelled.
“Because I can fix this, I swear. The outbreak was an accident and one I can help solve if you’ll just trust me.” Tom looked skeptical.
“And how exactly do you know how to cure this?”
“What do you think I’ve been doing these past few weeks? Laying around moping?” He scoffed. “I’ve been planning ahead. Working on a plan B since my first one went up in smoke.” He gestured to his right arm and the right side of his face. “This was just something the lab stumbled upon on accident a few years back. Someone let the infection out and this chaos happened. I choose to blame Patryk.” He began to get angry. “How am I supposed to rule a world of mindless, green idiots?!” He yelled. Edd looked at Tom who shrugged and then sighed. Edd unlocked the car.
“You’re going to explain everything and tell us what to do.” Edd said as he got in. Tom pulled out his handgun.
“And, if you try anything, I will shoot you Tord.” He said, point the gun at Tord’s head. Tord sat down in the far back next to Eduardo.
“You must be their old neighbor.” He said. Eduardo looked at him. He knew his voice, their encounter having been permanently burned into his mind. Eduardo looked down and clenched his fists tightly.
“Are you the guy piloting that giant robot a few weeks back?” He demanded.
“Hm? Oh, that, yes I was.” Tord answered. “Why exactly do you care?” Eduardo’s hands flew up to Tord’s neck faster than anyone could react. He tightened his grip a bit.
“You killed my friend, you douche bag!” He shouted. “That’s why I care!” Everyone was silent for a few seconds. The hum of zombie moans and the engine were the only sounds filling the streets. “If you can’t fix this, I’ll be killing you myself. For Jon.” He let go and Tord breathed deeply for a few seconds.
“Fair enough.” He looked out the window. “Listen Edd, stop at the tallest building you can find. Preferably something with lots of electricity and water being pumped into it.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, why exactly those two? You aren’t planning to sit and watch us get killed, are you?”
“Look, I know I’m probably all of your least favorite person in the world right now.” Tom laughed.
“You’ve got that right.”
“And I know you probably won’t believe me, but I am sorry.” He paused and sighed. “I feel horrible about everything I did that night. I regret doing all of it. But what I regret most is telling you that we were never friends.” His eye became wet with tears. “I never should’ve lied like that. I was being an idiot who’d gone mad with power. I thought I was unstoppable and you three clearly proved me wrong.” He looked up at the back of Edd’s seat. “The point is, we’re friends. We always have been and I don’t want all of our years together to be tossed aside because of one stupid mistake.” Tord turned to the window. “I just wanted you to know how I feel about it all. I understand if you don’t believe me. I did run an army behind your backs and hid a war machine right under your noses. If you want me gone after all of this then I’ll leave and never come back this time.” They rode in silence until they got to the tallest building in the city, a newspaper company. The parked the car and broke in by picking the lock (Matt bashed the glass door in with a bat). The five took to ascending the stairs. Smashing sounds echoed through the stairwell.
“What was that?!” Eduardo asked.
“It sounds like they’re breaking in!” Matt yelled.
“Tord, if you have a plan you better tell us what it is! All of us might not make it up!” Edd yelled.
“Just get me to the roof. I have something that can stop them.” Edd nodded and the group continued to climb. They made it to the top floor and everyone stopped to catch their breath for a few seconds. A faint moaning sound emanated from the stairwell and footsteps clicked up every step.
“They’re getting closer! I’m to pretty to be a zombie!” Matt shouted, frantically shaking Tom. Tom just glared at him and sighed. The footsteps and moaning got louder so Tom simply brushed aside his friend. He took his hoodie off and tossed it at Edd. Taking one more drink from his flask, he tossed his handgun and taser at Tord.
“Do whatever you have to do to keep these three people safe, got it?”
“Tom! What do you think you’re doing?!” Edd shouted.
“Saving your life and buying you some time. Good luck.” He dashed down the stairs silently.
“Think he’s gonna be okay?” Edd asked. Matt shrugged before Tom’s screams blared in their ears. His pained cries echoed off the walls and everyone froze. Tord looked at the taser and pistol in his hand.
“We need to go if we want to stop this.” Edd and Matt solemnly nodded. The four found the roof access stairs and climbed in silence. Matt made sure the door was locked behind them, if only to slow the horde down a bit. Loud banging rang in the air and the moaning and screaming of the undead filled the dark night sky. The four looked at each other. Eduardo pointed at Tord.
“If you have a plan then now’s the time.” He pointed at the door. “They’re not gonna stop unless we stop them.” Tord nodded. He pulled a cube and a remote out of his jacket.
“Chairs aren’t going to help us here Tord!” Edd said irritatedly. Tord scoffed. He walked to the center of the roof, a helicopter pad, and set the small box down. He pushed a button on the remote and the box unfolded into a giant sprinkler.
“A sprinkler? What are we gonna do? Wash it all away?” Eduardo asked sarcastically. Tord shook his head and held up the taser he got from Tom.
“Tom probably didn’t know this, but this taser is going to save everyone.” He paused. “When the labs began working on various forms of chemical weapons, they sort of stumbled upon this on accident. A cure was quickly found though. With a high enough electrical shock the corpses could be reanimated. So basically, we’re conducting the biggest Doctor Frankenstein experiment ever.” Everyone’s jaws dropped.
“So, you’re planning to soak the city and then use the taser to electrocute everyone at once?” Edd asked. Tord smirked.
“And if it doesn’t work?” Matt asked. Tord simply laughed in response.
“It’ll work, trust me.” A loud snapping sound rang out and the four all turned to face the door. Well, what was left of it anyway. The zombies had broken the door down and were now trampling it. Tord held his right arm up defensively. Pushing a few buttons on it, a panel in the palm opened up and a small rocket flew out of it and hit a part of the helipad, blocking the zombies main way of getting to them.
“Tord! Do it now!” Edd yelled as the four ran for cover from the sprinkler. Tord quickly smashed a few buttons on the remote in his hand and the sprinkler began spraying in every direction. The zombies looked around in confusion at the ‘rain’ and Tord smirked. He clicked the taser on and tossed it forward. Time seemed to slow as the device flipped through the air. The electricity on the end flashed and brightened the night sky. It made contact with a flying stream of water and the town flashed with a blinding light. Everyone averted their gazes, avoiding looking at the light storm. Tord slowly opened his eye and saw a badly damaged taser sitting in a puddle on the ground. It sparked sadly in an attempt to produce a shock. He looked up and saw the group of zombies in front of him all falling to their knees. Their screams became distorted and warped as the green color faded. Matt and Edd both gasped in excitement.
“It’s working!” Edd yelled.
“No way…” Eduardo whispered. Tord walked out into the pale lights of dawn breaking in the distance. A familiar voice groaned in pain.
“What happened?” Tom stood up while clutching his forehead. Edd and Matt tackled him in a group hug.
“Tom! You’re okay!” Edd happily declared.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Matt and Edd looked at each other.
“Can you really not remember anything that just happened?” Matt asked. Tom shook his head as Tord watched the three.
“The cure can sometimes cause minor cases of amnesia. Forgetting a few hours, or even days, is normal.” Tom looked at Tord.
“What the hell are you doing here?!” He yelled, punching Tord in the face. Tord rubbed the new bruise.
“Come on, I definitely deserved the first one but that’s just overkill.” He mumbled. Edd looked around and saw Eduardo and Mark hugging each other excitedly. He smiled before spotting a familiar figure on the other side of the roof. Eduardo blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating before a huge grin found its way onto his face.
“JON!” He yelled. He dashed over to Jon and threw himself onto the smaller man. Jon looked at him in confusion. “I missed you so much.” Eduardo sobbed. “Don’t you EVER pull a stunt like that again! I can’t lose you again…” Jon just stared at him.
“Um…excuse me sir, who are you?” He asked quietly. Eduardo let go and sat up.
“Jon, I swear, if you’re just messing with me…”
“Who’s Jon?” Eduardo’s smile disappeared. A few tears fell
down his face.
“Jon, what are you talking about?” He laughed awkwardly. “This is just a joke, right? You’re just poking fun at me, aren’t you?” His voice cracked and was filled with desperation. Jon shook his head.
“I’m sorry mister, I have no idea who you are and who this Jon guy is. Is he a friend of yours? Don’t worry, everyone can confuse someone with someone else sometimes.” Eduardo stared at him. His body refused to respond, leaving him standing there, staring at his old friend. “You’re kind of making me uncomfortable, sir…” Jon said and Eduardo turned to Tord.
“What kind of sick joke is this?!” He demanded in an angry tone none of them had ever heard him use before. Tord stared at the man in front of him.
“He was dead before today, wasn’t he?” Eduardo looked confused.
“That explains it. Somehow the chemicals must’ve gotten to a few newer graves, that means…” He began to mumble, which made Eduardo even more mad.
“That means what?!” He yelled.
“He probably can’t remember anything. The cure we created and even the chemical weapon were meant to be used on the living, not the dead. His soul was just forced back into a rotting corpse that was then electrocuted back to life.” Tord gestured to Jon looking around, seemingly unsure about everything. “He has no idea who he is, where he is, or what is going on.” Eduardo’s mouth opened in shock as Tord explained everything.
“W-we can fix this…right?” He slowly asked after a few moment of silence. Tord thought for a minute or two before shaking his head.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve never really done any experimenting on completely reanimating the dead. I have no idea if or how his memories could be brought back.” Tord wrapped his arms around Eduardo and hugged the other man tightly. “I’m sorry…I’m so so sorry.” He let go and walked away, leaving a grieving Mark and Eduardo with a confused Jon. Edd looked to his two friends, Tom, who was currently dealing with hangover-esk symptoms, and Matt, just happy to be alive. He looked up to see Tord begin to walk down the stairs before running after him.
“Tord wait!” Edd yelled, earning flabbergasted faces from his friends. He approached the man clad in red and smiled at him. “I just wanted to thank you. We would’ve been nothing more than fresh meat if you hadn’t known how to fix this.” He wrapped his arms around Tord and hugged the taller man. Edd felt a few tears drip onto his shoulder and looked at Tord in confusion. “Tord? What’s wrong?” Tord bit his lip for a few seconds before shoving Edd away.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. “This is! I’ve done so much to you and your friends, I don’t deserve thanking!” He yelled. “I deserve a bullet to the brain, not a hug!” Edd stood back up and stared at him closely. Tears were pouring down his face and the expression he wore was one of sadness and confusion. Edd hugged him again.
“You know what else you deserve?” He asked quietly. “A second chance.” Tord stared at Edd in silence. “You didn’t have to save us, but you did. You didn’t have to stick around this long, but you did. And you didn’t have to feel sorry for everything you did, but you did.” Edd smiled softly at his old housemate. “I really do think you meant what you said. And, if you really do wanna still be friends then…” Edd held his hand out to Tord. “Hi there, I’m Edd.” Tord stared at him for a minute before smiling and taking Edd’s flesh hand in his prosthetic one.
“Hello there, I’m Tord.”
“See, it’s easy.” Edd said happily. Matt and Tom watched the two walk out of the damaged stairwell and the four began to chat. At first, things were tense, but as the minutes went by things went back to normal. The quartet walked away from the event reunited.
Eduardo’s little gang, however…not quite.
Eduardo pulled out his phone and watched Mark do the same. They began to show Jon photos and explain to him what was going on in each one. The time their house was haunted, that time they hijacked an alien ship, when they helped Eduardo with his radioactive…abilities, and a few more stand-out memories. Jon scrolled through photo after photo and listened to the duo tell him story after story, but couldn’t remember a thing.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “But, I don’t know who you people are and I don’t know what this stuff is.” Eduardo was beginning to get seriously pissed. He was practically growling in anger and looked like he wanted to smack someone. “I’m sorry Mister Eduardo! I really am!” Jon said defensively. The two, at first, didn’t think twice about until they realized they never told Jon their names.
“Wait, what did you just call him?” Mark asked excitedly. Jon looked confused.
“M-mister…Eduardo..?” The two tackled him in a group hug.
“You remembered!” Eduardo yelled in delight. Jon smiled.
“I-I did!” He said happily. He pointed at Mark. “And your name’s Mark, I’m Jon and…” He scratched his head in confusion. “Hold on a second…what happened?”
“What do you mean?” Eduardo asked.
“There’s this big gap. I remember seeing one of our neighbors, the one in blue, walk down the street looking really angry and then not much else, just sort of a blur of lots of red for a bit then blue.” Jon said. Eduardo and Mark looked at each other then at Jon.
“I think that’s a story for another time.” Mark said, standing up.
“Yep, today was exhausting, what do you say we go home and figure this whole thing out tomorrow?” Eduardo asked, holding his hand out to Jon. Jon grabbed it and Eduardo pulled him into a standing position.
“Sounds like a plan.” He said smiling. The bad stories could wait for tomorrow, he was happy now and right now, just in this moment, everything was whole.