Kensington

Kensington, Kansas
3rd of March
11:20am

They knew what was coming. The first day of the month it was broadcasted everywhere, on every TV channel, every radio station, printed on every newspaper. All the way down in Kansas, they heard what was coming.

People infected with a disease that made them starving and mindless. Signs to look out for: white eyes, drooling and frothing of the mouth, seizures and uncontrollable moving, growling, howling and screeching. No cure known. If encountered, the best course of action was to run, hide and stay quiet. Apparently, bullets did nothing unless they hit the brain and the infection was spread through the mix of saliva and blood: their impulses lead them to act cannibalistic.

The entirety of Kensington was chilled in fear.

On the second day of the month, connection dropped. For everything. Radio towers no longer got any signals. Television screens showed nothing but static. Phonelines were down too. They couldn’t hear anything from out of town and they couldn’t get anything to anyone else outside of Kensington.

But at least they knew what was coming, at least they were ready.

Or so they had thought.

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Venom Animatic | Hit Me Baby One More Time

This is how they met right?!

I just watched Venom over the weekend and I am very very happy XD I have no idea what’s up with me and 90s music, I was only alive during its last two years ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ALSO, if you’re confused about whose body Venom is in, it’s Maria! I love her so much T^T

The audio is from the movie Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

 If there was a zombie apocalypse the best place to go would be Target.

Lets look at the facts:

  • Targets have at maximum 3 windows. And those windows are also doors. Otherwise they are giant concrete cinder-blocks of prison like retail. 
  • Target is filled with things to quickly barricade those window-doors. such as entire gazebos, lawn furniture, exercise equipment, etc. 
  • From that point forward all you have to do is worry about the zombies that are inside.
  • Target has an intercom system, which if accessed by the correct people can be used to quickly spread information and mobilize people to get things done. 
  • Target has a large section of both perishable and non perishable food items. 
  • Target also has a vast entertainment section. (how many societies have collapsed due to conflict spurred by stress and boredom. HOW MANY)
  • Target’s roof can be easily accessed for surveillance, gathering of rainwater (with the many buckets and mini pools target has. and all water can be boiled in the Starbucks kitchen) and sniping.
  • Target’s insulation would make the harsh winter months significantly more bearable.
  • Before the power goes out, Target has sun lights (which is why its not sad inside like in so many other stores… cough Sears cough) so people who have SAD won’t get depressed. Also, Target is large and designed to feel homey so people wont go stir crazy as fast like they do in jails.
  • When the power goes out, Target has large industrial generators that can be turned on in emergencies like for cooking. 
  • Speaking of cooking, Target has several kitchens inside of it. And once the power goes, guess what Target also sells? Grills. 
  • Target also has a pharmacy. And medical supplies. So, people inside who need meds to function have a hell of a lot longer time to live unencumbered by their illness than they normally would. 
  • Some targets have tools–including power tools.
  • Target also has a tiny jail. For miscreants and rabble rousers.
  • Bedding. Real Bedding
  • Reliable indoor plumbing.

I think you could reasonably live for at least two years inside a Target before completely running out of anything vital– provided food is well rationed.
And even so, the only thing you’d be sending out scouts for is food. Everything else would last for ages.  

Provided that the population not exceed 200, Target would run out of these things in this order:

  1. perishable food.
  2. electricity
  3. Potable water (that doesn’t require work)
  4. Non perishable pre-made food items
  5. Non perishable food ingredients (flour, mixes, etc)

    How to survive in a Target: Action plan.

    Undoubtedly, everyone will be rushing and screaming in the Target. First someone has to break into the manager’s office and commandeer the intercom to create some organization by shouting: If you do not want to stay and survive in the Target, leave now. 

    After that’s cleared up and only interested parties and zombies are left. the barricading can begin. Once the doors and windows are sealed, the new goal is to clear the undead from the usable space.The undead can be deposited neatly outside of the truck loading dock doors.

    Then, someone needs to do inventory. For the next week or so, food needs to be arranged by date consumed and a rationing chart should be made. Same applies to medicine and medical supplies and toiletries.

    After food and water has been qualified and quantified,  remaining time should be dedicated to turning target into a large “home”, Bedding should be laid out in one area, there should be an entertainment area. There should be a separate area for children and babies. All of the clothing should be pushed to the side or placed in the storage area, so there is more livable space. 

    I’m sure people have more ideas but that’s all I’ve got.

This has been brought to you with love by,

Not gonna die. 

Types In a Zombie Apocalypse

ENTP

- unofficial leader everyone loves

- ultimate plan checker; makes sure that they covered every possibility

- argues with ENTJ and ESTJ a lot, but always ends up winning arguments

ENTJ

- comes up with plans to defeat zombies

- assigns roles to everybody (which no one follows)

- rations the food and essential items

INTP

- invents weapons and technology

- database of info on zombies

- awake at 1:00 AM not because of zombies but because they want to make another zombie meme

INTJ

- weapons analyst

- keeps everyone on track

- can defeat zombie on their own

ESTP

- helps build weapons

- accidentally got separated but found their way back

- fights zombies front line, not scared at all

ESTJ

- supervisor, keeps everyone in line

- organizes everyone when time to fight

- always angry at ENTP for arguing

ISTP

- official weapons manufacturer

- can troubleshoot and fix weapons and armor

- builds shelter for everyone

ISTJ

- the ultimate soldier

- literally the only person who follows the rules

- can recall important information about the zombies

ENFP

- can think like a zombie

- comes up with every possibility of how a zombie could attack the camp

- helps cook food so everyone doesn’t get bored of the same old granola bars

ENFJ

- the ultimate comforter

- makes sure everyone is happy

- can address the whole group and deliver instructions so that everyone doesn’t freak out

INFP

- scared of the zombies

- the baby of the group, everyone loves them

- everyone shares their food with them

INFJ

- tries to correct ESTJ and ENTJ, but gets pushed aside

- makes ENTP do the arguing for them

- understands zombies motivations in a whole

ESFP

- the entertainer

- tells jokes

- no one is ever bored with them along

ESFJ

- takes everything ESTJ says literally

- finds gossip somehow

- helps ENFP cook

ISFP

- also scared of the zombies

- documents all the zombie encounters by drawing them

- good at fighting the zombies, but sometimes feels bad for them

ISFJ

- will sacrifice themselves for others

- makes sure everyone is happy

- remembers which methods worked against the zombies before

10

2017 Inkas Huron

I rarely post vehicles but this thing was interesting enough to warrant it. Built on a Kenworth T370 4x4 chassis, it seats 12 plus the driver and co-pilot. Equipped with B6 level armor, front and rear turrets, 6 cameras, hydraulic plow and 46″ tires. If you have $399,999 then you can have your own personal APC. (GRH)

Hogwarts Houses During the Zombie Apocalypse

Gryffindor: Gryffindor thinks that they are the leader of the group (they’re not.) But they are very useful when it comes to supply runs, always one of the first to volunteer. They will probably end up dying heroically or stupidly.

Slytherin: Slytherin is the real leader of the group. They come up with detailed and well thought out plans. They leave little room for error. Without hesitation they will kill a man, for the safety of the group that is. 

Ravenclaw: Ravenclaw has read many books on the inevitable zombie apocalypse, but they still weren’t prepared. They often create maps for the groups. They have been teaching themselves new skills to help make things like makeshift showers.

Hufflepuff: The MVP. Hufflespuff’s skills in sewing, knitting and cooking have been extremely useful. Not only can they make a can of Spam into a delicious meal, but they can even stitch up wounds when needed.

Astro in a Zombie apocalypse

MJ:
- Hides in a tree house
- Only goes down to get food
- Runs like he could win the Olympics and always leaves the rest behind
- “Jinjin where the fuck are you?”

Jinjin:
- Has been protecting Myungjun since day 1
- “Listen don’t panic but we might need to run”
- Only eats canned food
- Hasn’t slept in weeks

Eunwoo:
- Has a notebook to keep track of everything he learns about zombies
- Surprisingly good with firearms
- “Did you know that…?” “NO ONE FUCKING CARES DONGMIN”
- Once cured a zombie with his angelic looks

Moon Bin:
- Feels bad whenever they kill a zombie
- “What if zombies just need a hug?”
- “Okay, maybe not”
- Gets bitten on day 3

Rocky:
- Nobody has seen him since the apocalypse started
- Has been living in the woods for weeks
- Survives on raw meat
- Kills zombies with his bare hands

Sanha:
- Only has his blankie and a knife
- “Fuck I left my blankie behind”
- “Guys? Where are you?”
- Gets bitten by Moonbin on day 4