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“It feels like the actors are trying to figure out where this is going.”

Cracked Responds: Fear The Walking Dead

Aside from the occasional bout of rabies, it seems like these guys should be pretty safe as long as they double-bag it, but highway technicians and their Canadian brethren have a shockingly high mortality rate. According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, an average of 1.6 road workers die each day. That puts them only behind pilots, loggers, and those working in the fishing industry in terms of on-the-job casualties. It’s not because the government is covering up some kind of zombie deer outbreak; the responsibility usually lies with the most dangerous game of all … man.

“The biggest danger to us is becoming roadkill ourselves,” Brandon says. After all, you can’t just shut down the highway for the not-insignificant amount of time it can take to drag a 200-pound deer across it, or nobody would ever get anywhere. That means waiting for a break in traffic and ninja-ing that shit out of there before the next Hummer rolls up and ensnares you in its grill. Despite Brandon’s bright sartorial choices, he’s had a few close calls with tractor trailers that barely even swerved to avoid missing him. Ironically, the very force that wants to kill him is the same thing that keeps him in a job.

Janitors Of The Highway: 5 Lessons If A Roadkill Scraper