zombie prep

Am I the only one who is ever compelled to do normal human things due to totally unrealistic/ridiculous reasons?

Examples:

me: Man I should really clean today.. ew I don’t want to.

my brain: You know if Levi were to come here he would be really disappointed and turned off by this mess.

*CLEANS FRANTICALLY*

me: I should run more and get in better shape, but I’m so lazy.

my brain: You do realize that once the zombie apocalypse is upon us you’re gonna be the first to go because you can’t run more than a minute without dry heaving your lungs out.

*CREATES STRICT RUNNING SCHEDULE IMMEDIATELY* 

No? Just me? okAY.

things andrew and renee have absolutely talked about while on their walks:

  • deep sea vs. deep space
  • which politicians are most likely to secretly be aliens in disguise
  • pluto
  • ongoing bets among the foxes
  • zombie evac plan
  • best/worst improvised rooms to find improvised weaponry
  • that last one probs branched out from their zombie prep discussion
  • assassin-fighting strategy (this is actually brought up pre-neil but gets revisited again later)
  • best candy (renee is a fan of super sour candy and andrew feels slightly betrayed™)
  • they agree on lots of toppings for ice cream tho and maybe possibly make fun of kevin who eats it plain or with fruit if he’s having any at all bc he’s a heathen
  • new colors for renee to dye her hair
  • how exactly wymack seems to have knowledge of so many marathons
  • scenarios for the foxes in a cutthroat kitchen-style cook-off

anonymous asked:

If you're still taking the emoji headcanons, can you do 😊 Audrey in a zombie apocalypse? Thanks. Love your blog btw ❤️

Awww, love you too anon!

  1. She was the first one to notice that something was wrong. Just like when the VKs arrived to Auradon, Audrey felt that a big change was coming, and prepared herself. She asked Carlos about apocalypses and he, being the nerd game player that he is, taughther everything about it.
  2. When the apocalypse came, Audrey immediately put herself in charge of the Auradon Prep survival group. First of all, she organised the groups for locking up the school and stocking food supplies, medicines, batteries and water.
  3. When the first zombies attacked the school, they took Jane, which devastated Audrey. She cried for days and didn’t want to keep fighting; but Evie and Lonnie helped her react and find a purpose to the whole situation.
  4. At some point, a group of kids had to go to Cinderellasburg to warn the authorities that they were running out of supplies in Auradon Prep, meaning that the needed rescue as soon as possible. So while Jay, Lonnie, Chad and Uma were out, Audrey had to help fighting the zombies. She chose a shotgun and, according to Harry, she did pretty good for a princess.
  5. Audrey had always been scared of sleeping because of her mother’s curse, but with the zombie apocalypse it got worse. Now she always has nightmares every time she sleeps, so she avoids falling asleep. She tries everything to stay awake and gets mad when fails.

[find the emoji AUs ask here]

High School Trends That I Remember Fondly

Okay so let me share with you all some quality high school trends from my days in high school because boy were we a bunch of sass masters


These all took place from 2007 -2012 because I went to a weird fusion school that lumped every grade from 7th to 12th together ( that means we had thirteen year olds up to 18-19 year olds in the same school )


Anyway let’s go

7th Grade( I was a smol 13 year old)


First off there were like 30 kids in each class okay?


So….

- Pencils as hair decor ???? Why????

- Swiping needles from Home Ec and sticking them in your finger JUST under the surface of the skin to freak out the teach

- Referring to lunch as ’ the troph special’

-Girls sending guys Valentine’s that just said ’ U R No Good ’ and ’ Allen Ur Not In My League ’

- Guys sending girls tiny stuffed animals for V Day with cards that said ’ I’m Soft For U’ and ’ Be My Plush One?’

- Claiming various things had ’ killed our ancestors ’ :

’ I can’t do long division , my thirty seventh great grandfather died doing that’

’ No I can’t answer that question sir, every male in my family so far has died answering English questions ’

’ I’m not allowed to be disciplined , discipline killed my grandma’

- Wearing rubber bands as bracelets or rings and the tighter you could get it the cooler you were ???? This kid almost lost a finger by third period I mean …..

-Asking our biology teacher what would happen if insects could speak every class period

’ What if wasps could speak but they only spoke Mid-6th Century English ’

’ What if spiders all speak Russian’

’ Do you think bees know English ’


- Pestering our history teacher for the history of the Leaf Village ( I’m sorry Mr. Hoagland )

- Replying ’ Deleted’ when your name was called

….. I accidentally started this one

8th grade ( I was 14 )

- Rap battles to settle arguments ????

- Yoyo fights. It got intense.

-Every white boy in school dressed like a bad Western movie character , cowboy hats and spurs and SO.MUCH.PLAID.

- ’ The Dew Crew’, a gang of boys who drank nothing but Mountain Dew as refreshment , was born and monopolized the school’s soda supply of Mountain Dew . All of them made it to adulthood but it is suspected they no longer require sleep and eat only the disdainful glares of women for survival ( at their peak there were 15 of them )


- Intense shouting of someone else’s name every time something went wrong ( usually the name Sasuke )


- Pentagrams everywhere ; drawn on any surface we could find unsupervised for a second , started by me doodling in art class and picked up by my squad . The school board thought someone was possessed by the devil it was GREAT…. I NEVER GOT CAUGHT


- In Chemistry we watched Finding Nemo about 3 times a week because the teacher was really forgetful and he let us watch it when he forgot his lesson plan , so by the end of the first month that year every kid he taught would call various roundish objects ’ the butt’ and I was nicknamed’ Dory ’ by everyone I knew


Also the principal was nicknamed’ Bruce"


-Hardcore Zombie prep planning , there was a gang and everything .

The Apoca-Punks are still strong

- Disney discourse in English class because our teacher was a huge nerd for Disney and loved nothing more than to watch us argue over which princess would beat Gaston in a fight faster ( Kida won by a landslide but we all agreed Mulan would murder him in five seconds flat )

Also he nicknamed all of us after Disney characters and I was Lilo ( my best friend was Stitch )


- Okay so I brought a bag of chocolate as a treat for the class one week and I was really tired and out of it so when the teacher ( our English teacher Mr . Bagley, who was also the principal) asked me to ’ explain the historical properties of chocolate’ I got sarcastic and went ’ For many years chocolate has been used in medicinal treatments for ailments of all kinds. Perhaps it will even cure the lack of hair on Mr . B’s head’ ……

For a second it was dead silent and then he laughed and said “Well put , you continue to live up to your nickname, Lilo!”


- Shakespeare quotes at inopportune times

“ Exit, pursued by a bear”

“ We are in the middle of a test , Austin. ”

“ A rose , by any other name , would smell-”
“ DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM INDI”


- The drama kids dramatically snapping during arguments


- Okay so there was this weird loft zone in the second gym( because our school had two , a sucktastic old one from the fifties and a newish one from the eighties ) nobody was supposed to go up there unless they had permission and it was for filming a basketball game ???

But everyone went up there anyway and at least ten couples lost their virginity up there ( what a weird place to do it tho , we kept the wrestling mats up there)


I sluffed class a few times and took a nap there

And it became a Thing to draw a little baby face on the wall if you lost your V card there


-Supergluing coins to stuff????

There’s still a dime on someone’s locker and it’s been like ten years


-’ Ambrosia’ , AKA this super delicious combo of cherry slurpee , Sprite, and orange Fanta that our English teacher made us during parties . He literally made it in these huge plastic bins and just ladeled it out to everyone


9th Grade( I was 15)


- The Goth Invasion

Everyone who was punk enough wore black ripped jeans and eyeliner and streaked their hair with red and black

One kid never left the Goth phase , we love u Scott ( it’s cool he was our school’s Warren Peace anyway )


- AFTER A SCHOOL ASSEMBLY VIEWING OF SKY HIGH FOR HALLOWEEN MY CLASSMATE SCOTT WAS NICKNAMED WARREN BY THE ENTIRE SCHOOL

He was really salty about it too , he said “ Warren isn’t goth he’s Punk there’s a difference you capitalist Bible thumpers’


Scott got 54 Valentine’s that year but just shrugged and gave his candy to me and my squad because we were , as he put it ’ the only punk crew in class, plus you’re all really cute ’

He never kept a girlfriend very long but he was the nicest guy you’ve ever seen ( everyone thought he was gay but just too shy to say it )


Over the years he is consistly hotter , and more unashamedly Goth


- My sister arrived in school and was immediately the most popular kid in school and was nicknamed ’ Princess ’

- My squad got nicknamed ’ Squad 7 ” due to our obsession with Naruto and other anime , and we each were nicknamed after characters from the show by my friend Indi ( who was named after Indiana Jones, no lie)

Melanie was ’ Kiba’ ( which delighted her because she would marry him in a heartbeat )

Mackenzie was ’ Neji’ because according to Indi she was the most monologue-y
Chandra was ’ Hinata’ because she was shy but fierce

And I, Aubrey , was ’ Gaara’ because according to Indi :’ Your dad is kinda sucky and you’ve got two siblings . You’re sort of the social outcast of school and when you get annoyed enough it’s like you’ve got this terrifying supernatural thing in your eyes , I love it ’

I LOVE THAT NICKNAME

10th Grade( I’m 16)

- ’ Because I’m Batman ’ being an answer to every question

- Goonies puns

- Three girls got pregnant and were called the ’ Baby On Board Squad"

- Due to this teen pregnancy scandal , my heavily Christian community had our school hold assemblies about how ’ Sex will kill you’ and how ’ every time a teen has Sex Thoughts, an angel cries’ ….. There were ’ God Is Abstintent ’ posters everywhere

So naturally we revolted and the drama class put up these fliers reading ’ Without Sex, You Wouldn’t Be Around . ’

’ Satan Loves You and Wants You To Explore Your Perfectly Normal Urges ’

’ Sex Won’t Kill You- But STD’s Could! Use Protection! ’

’ Wrap It Before He Taps It And The Angels Won’t Be Crying “


” Boys Like Girls.Boys Think Of Girls In Sexual Ways. Boys Best Treat Her Right First . Boys Best Be Stepping Up As Baby Daddys If They Tap Dat “


And many more golden rebellious posters

- Shouting ” Go Go Power Rangers “ when dealing with a problem and just out of nowhere any kid wearing the appropriate Power Ranger colored shirt would appear

So you’d get a guy in red , a guy in blue , a guy in black , a guy in white , a guy in green , a guy in gold , a guy in silver, a girl in pink and a girl in yellow and they’d all pose dramatically and do the Power Rangers moves


- Rubber band slingshot warfare using hairpins as ammo


- The school dividing into Benders and Non Benders , and the school’s most loved outcast was deemed Avatar( I got the honor so my squad was nicknamed accordingly )


- High School Musical was the biggest thing ever because our music teacher WROTE THE SCORES FOR THEM I MEAN…….


We all knew every song by heart that year


Everyone shipped Chad and Ryan

11th Grade( I was 17 )

-Percy Jackson was huge and everyone wanted a godly parent

- Every girl used a dramatic break up song to end things with her man it was GLORIOUS

- Taylor Swift was playing on the radio every day

- My class finally realized that my friend Courtney and I had the same exact birthday and birth year , and thus introduced us to substitute teachers as ’ The Fraternal Twins’


Courtney and I are both gonna be 23 on March 20 at 6:40 am

- Our history teacher thought my friends and I were in an assassin cult because we were always drawing kunai knives and swords and guns , so he banned kunai drawing????? And it thus became the Cool Thing to graffiti everywhere??? All because I drew one on my ASVAB????

-The sheriff pulled me out of homeroom because I’d been overheard singing P!nk’s ” Funhouse" and the Secretary thought I was an arsonist because of the line “ I’m gonna burn this sucker down ” and thus rumors spread like wildfire that I’d:

~ Murdered someone
~ Witnessed a crime

~ Started a gang war
~ Shot a cop
~ Robbed the one gas station in town
~ Insulted the sheriff’s daughter by not inviting her to my birthday party so he was here to bribe me to do so
~ Stolen the sheriff’s prized collection of horse paintings


12th Grade ( I was 18 )

- Posters everywhere about the world ending ( it was 2012)

- Harry Potter mania

- John Lennon Memes????

No really on the anniversary of his death the school was flooded with posters of him everywhere saying “ In Loving Memory Of A Dreamer ” and the radio only played his music and the drama class went around stating facts about his death it was surreal and I was part of it

Face Down

Pairing: Lavender Brown x Astoria Greengrass

Setting: Modern, non-magical, prep school zombie apocalypse AU

Word Count: 1,229

Written For: @borginburks [#payback2k15]


Lavender Brown gets her heart broken by Ron Weasley in the spring.

She spends an entire weekend re-watching all the depressing parts of Love, Actually and crying into Parvati’s mint green Kate Spade pillowcase and it’s cathartic, mostly, because by Monday morning she’s back to using her own bronze-blonde bobby pins and spot-blending her under-eye concealer and bickering with Daphne Greengrass about leaving slimy salon-grade conditioner residue on their tiled shower floor—and if Lavender still feels a little like the world is ending when she thinks about how many of her Firsts she hadn’t even hesitated to give to Ron Weasley—

Well.

Two days before prom, the world actually ends.


It’s like The Walking Dead without rednecks.

The two hundred year-old graveyard out by the lacrosse field turns into a warzone—mostly-rotted corpses punch through the summer-softened earth and storm the locker rooms and it’s so horrifying and so utterly ludicrous that Lavender can’t help but unleash a torrent of hysterical giggles when Daphne’s little sister makes a Hocus Pocus joke by asking when Bette Midler is going to be by to collect her boyfriends.

Keep reading

Preference #6- Halloween

A/N: I am so sorry for not posting lately. I’ve been busy with school, but I figured I’d make a Halloween preference since it’s my favorite holiday, aside from Christmas. Enjoy! 

Scott: Halloween was just about everyday for Scott, so when it came to costumes, humor was always his go to. After spending two Halloweens together, it was finally your turn to pick the costumes and you wanted to do something a little more out there. When you suggested that you two be Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, Scott was thrilled. You two ended up winning best couple costume at Lydia’s annual Halloween party. 

Stiles: You and Stiles were both nerds. You were in love with theater, but Stiles was in love with video games. The two of you went back and forth for hours about what you could be for Halloween. It was hard to find common ground. “Wait, I have an idea!” He jumped up from the couch. “Let’s be Mulder and Scully from The X Files. I’m the one with crazy theories and you’re the sane one.” You loved the idea and raided your mom’s closet for the perfect pant suit. 

Derek: Derek didn’t want to do anything for Halloween. He thought it was a childish holiday, but you refused to let him do nothing. You invited him over to your house for Halloween, so the two of you could pass out candy. You did pop art makeup and sat outside with Derek, who wasn’t festive at all. You were upset with him, but you thought of a perfect way for him to make it up to you. For the rest of the night, Derek would hid behind a bush and jump out as a werewolf whenever the older kids came by. 

Liam: Liam wanted to be a superhero this year, but you weren’t completely sold. All of the outfits you tried on were too revealing and not age appropriate. You had almost given up on the entire idea, until Lydia helped you make the cutest Wonder Woman costume. Liam, who was dressed as Superman, was so happy and couldn’t keep still the entire night. 

Brett: Ever since Brett found out about your talent in special effects, he’d been begging you to make him into a zombie. You promised him that for Halloween the two of you would go as matching zombies, so you did. Being regular zombies wasn’t enough for the two of you. After thinking for a while, you decided to be prep school zombies. “That’s true, because school sucks the life out of you.” Brett joked.

Theo: This year, you and Theo decided to do a couples costume for Halloween. The only thing is, you didn’t know what to go as. “Mickey and Minnie Mouse?” You suggested. “No, that’s lame. Let’s just watch a movie and think about it more. What do you want to watch?” He asked. “How about Grease?” Just then, you had a brilliant idea. “Theo, let’s go as Danny and Sandy!” At first, Theo was a bit skeptical, but seeing how happy it made you and how gorgeous you looked with red lips and leather, he happily agreed. 

Jordan: Parrish was never a fan of Halloween. Every year he wore the same costume, his deputy uniform. You told him to switch it up this year, since you were going to a work party. On the day of the party, he showed up in a cowboy sheriff costume. You just shook your head and laughed. He was more than passionate about his work. 

Conflicted: Survival Scenarios Card Game

So our order finally arrived this week! Not much of a “game” per se, but more like an interesting mental and ethical exercise. There were some great philosophical questions that got me and the Hubs thinking, but for the most part, it was good to see that we were not conflicted about much. It’s important to be on the same page with your prepper partner. Wish there were some more technical questions about survival though…