zombie kittens

jbretton  asked:

Hello! What would the types be like in a survival (apocalypse situation)? Like a walking dead-esque situation.

You probably want a serious response but… eh. Stereotypes for the win.

INTJ: saw it coming. Holed up in a bunker. Forgot to buy food. Dies of starvation.

ENTJ: foresaw the likely outcome, tried to turn a profit off the zombie hordes. Worked for six months and then the zombies turned on them in the boardroom.

INFJ: saw it coming. Killed trying to save their friends because they are hopeless with flame throwers and set themselves on fire.

ENFJ: foresaw the impending pattern, tried to unsuccessfully negotiate a 100 year peace with the zombies. Died because zombies do not feel humans are equal to them and thought ENFJ brain tasted good.

INTP: thought it might be coming, has been working on a cure for the last five years. Dies five seconds away from finding it, when the zombies finally penetrate the lab’s outer doors.

ENTP: becomes heavily involved in rescuing people and in keeping their spirits up through random jokes and sarcasm, but dies falling off a building into a mass of zombies because that jump was like, way further than I thought, man.

INFP: reluctant to embrace this new reality because it represents ‘group think’ behaviors; zombies cannot possibly be mindless drones! Wises up and joins the resistance, only to die because they failed to tabulate how many zombies might be in that abandoned pizza place they used to love.

ENFP: holds to an idealistic belief they can just outlive it, the zombies will self-implode, becomes part of the rescue party but dies when attacked by a super cute zombie kitten that seemed ‘harmless.’

ISTJ: stubbornly refuses to believe in zombie apocalypse until they see their first brain-eater, then becomes totally freaked out about the future and impending disaster and dives into their safety bunker, stocked with food. Regulates how much food is allowed per day. Dies when zombie beaver digs through the wall.

ESTJ: becomes super pro-active at the first sign of trouble and strong-arms family to a remote island free of zombies. Underestimates how upset teenage daughter is. Dies when she allows her former-human/now-zombie boyfriend to visit.

ISFJ: becomes super freaked out due to endless zombie stories read in high school and is caught up in ‘saving their family.’ Dies trying to save best friend, who is now a zombie, because ‘she’s a good sort, really, not like them.’

ESFJ: appoints self the official den-mother of the ‘rescued’ people, making sure all their needs are met. Dies after organizing a group raid to a local WalMart to pick up extra supplies.

ISTP: becomes the toughest bad-ass on the block, and lives the longest due to ruthless adaptation, but ultimately dies because they got caught in a cross-fire and their idiot friends locked the door behind them.

ESTP: manages to save 60 people but dies because they thought taking on the zombies bare-handed and kicking the living hell out of them was a good solution when zombies unexpectedly swarmed the truck.

ISFP: manages to survive alone for months by staying in abandoned buildings and beating zombies one on one with a baseball bat, but dies when they run out of gas in a stolen car 4 miles from the safe zone.

ESFP: kicks some serious zombie ass but sacrifices self to ensure friends survive.

- ENFP Mod