This was requested sometime back. I’m not too thrilled with it, but it wasn’t going to get much better than this. I had something else written, but decided to write about something I had personal experience with instead. Thank you all for your patience and for reading!
blaring horn sound of Shawn’s alarm echoed through the bus, letting me know
that it was seven in the morning. I didn’t move, continuing to stare at the
ceiling of the back room which I had been doing for the past two hours. I was
exhausted, mentally and physically, yet sleep seemed content with skipping over
me the last three nights. It was my first-time visiting Shawn on tour and from
night one, it was a disaster.
had been sick before I’d even arrived. I had a cough that just wouldn’t go away
and it peaked the second day I was here. Shawn took me to Urgent Care without
hesitation as I was wheezing and could hardly breathe. After a chest x-ray, it
was confirmed that I had a mild case of Walking Pneumonia. I was given a
breathing treatment, steroids, antibiotics, an inhaler, and extremely potent
cough syrup and sent on my way.
Evan had full intentions of going to prom. He bit back all the nerves in the world, he stared down the gnawing anxiousness that reared its head at him as he bought the ticket and (metaphorically) flipped him off. He was going to prom. His mother was excited for him, Evan had decided to go as a group with his friends. It was going to be fun! It was going to be great! It was…
“Honey? You almost ready?” Evan’s mother called at around 6pm, the prom started at 7 and went on until eleven. She looked at Evan’s door, locked shut unsure what had happened between him eating his lunch with vigor and excitement. His hands busy texting all his friends to now? Silence. He came such a long way but even with all his great lengths somedays were just harder than others.
Evan was dressed in a blue suit with black trim. He looked sharp, hair done and shoes tied. He looked down at himself and felt the tears roll down his cheeks. He couldn’t seem to …move. He wasn’t sure what changed in him. Everything was fine when he was taking a shower. He was idly scrolling through facebook and instagram while he was getting dressed. Connor and Alana had taken selfies of their matching tuxes, Jared photobombed Zoe taking a picture with her parents. Everyone was looking so nice and happy, Evan felt that way too then it was all ripped out of him. Unexpectedly and all at once his chest caved in on itself.
All at once his hands were shaking and his breathing was uneven. All at once his heart was beating out of time and his mind was aching with the same repeated thought that started as a whisper during lunch, grew to a buzz during his shower and now was an all out cry bouncing around the walls of his skull.
‘They’d have more fun without you.’
Evan placed his hand over his mouth, he wanted to force it away. He fought back with logic, he fought back with facts and memories of his friends loving him. They wanted him. But he couldn’t fight the what ifs. “Honey?” his mother called again this time knocked at his door. He jumped out of skin for a second then slowly turned, what to say to his mother? How could he tell her that after all the steps he took forward he was walking backwards now. “Are you ok, Evan?”
“Uh.” He opened his mouth, he wanted to say no. He wanted to say he needed more time, he wanted to talk about it. He wanted her to tell him that it was going to be ok. “I think I came down with something…I-I-I…” He gulped stammering as he conjured up an excuse. “I-I’m sick.”
“Oh…no Evan I’m sorry are you going to be ok for prom?”
Evan didn’t unlock his door, he sat defeated in his tux for hours as his mother continuously knocked on the door to check on him. He became a broken record of ‘I’m fine, just stomach or something’ and ‘I’m going to try to sleep’ sayings. After a while his mother gave him space, thank god. She probably figured it out by now, Evan just didn’t want to go.
That would have been a lie. He wanted to go.
He made the mistake on his part to check his phone which he had purposely left on silent. He had 76 missed calls, 15 messages, and 4 unread ims from their group chat. He didn’t bother to check them, his mind had other things in mind. As if controlled by a demon he opened up social media and was met with pictures of his peers all at prom. One in particular made his heart sink. It was taken outside the Murphy’s home. A picture of Connor, Alana, Zoe and Jared all dressed and standing side by side. A perfect picture of friends with no Evan in sight. “Heh” a small choked chuckle escaped his lips, as his redden eyes found room for more tears.
He wanted to go but it made no difference if he —
“Yo.” A voice came from other side of his door. That was not his mother’s voice. Evan was frozen on his bed, half aware he could be going insane if he was hearing voices. “Evan, open the door or I’ll kick it in.” Connor’s threats were empty but Evan didn’t like to take any chances. He bounced to his feet and opened the door finding it was in fact Connor standing there.
Connor looked great, in a black velvet suit and loopy ribbon for a tie. His hair was pulled up into a bun with a few stray curls flopping over his forehead. “Uh…how was prom?”
“Fine, but you wouldn’t know.” Connor shrugged. “Everyone was worried about you so …we made the collective decision to check up on you.”
“But I told them I’d go instead. That way they know you’re ok and no one misses out prom.”
Connor shrugged it off, “I wasn’t planning on going until you and Alana made a big fuss about it. When you weren’t there I didn’t see the point in sticking around to watch Jared body roll on literally everything.”
Evan smiled at the thought of his friends having fun. “Still…sorry you wasted your prom ticket money…and your suit money…and…” his smile began to shrink into itself as the dread began to build, the guilt meant to stack up. He felt a hand gently grab his.
“You can pay me back” Connor began then slowly pulled out his phone and placed his spotify on shuffle. A Sleeping At Last song came up, a group both Evan and Connor had come to like together. “Dance with me.”
Evan still dressed in his suit (though wrinkled from laying in bed and crying in it) was dazed at the offer. Connor’s hand didn’t loosen, he pulled Evan a bit closer waiting for his answer verbally though his body had already said yes. He placed his clammy hand on Connor’s waist and awkwardly swayed in a slow dance in the middle of his hallway. He pressed his chest into the velvet of Connor’s suit, completely unaware of the camera flashes going off as his mother took photos of Evan’s prom.
have i mentioned how much i love joe and zoe’s relationship it just makes me so ridiculously happy
joe talking about how he’s always a gentleman to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yESS!!! it’s his favorite thing about himself probably how well behaved and kind and incredibly sweet he is and i’m so so happy we’ve got this recorded so we have proof of him acknowledging himself for that bless you son i love you
JOE TALKING ABOUT HOW HIM AND OLI JUST HANG OUT ONCE A YEAR AND LISTEN TO CLASSICAL MUSIC AND EAT MINCE PIES THEY ARE SUCH A LIVE HEADCANON I LOVE THIS SO MUCH
the suggs’ singing
(◠﹏◠✿) (and joe closing his eyes and snapping his fingers and being so into it what an idiot)
joe acknowledging he’s been overworking himself and is tired and saying he’s trying to do vlogmas i want to cry?? my baby boy please rest??
next on days of our lives: youtube fam: the suggs have no calves
JOE DOING CALF EXERCISES AND ZOE SAYING BALLET REPEATEDLY IM CRY
“joey skinny legs!!!!!!!!1″
“WHERE’S YOUR FUCKING SANDWICHES ALFIE YOU PROMISED ME SANDWICHES” [sings] “it’s like i’m a mirrorrrr”
OK BUT joe and zoe make each other so happy #siblinggoals
basically drunk!joe is my favorite thing in the entire world and my cheeks hurt from laughing rn
A lil thing for this precious bro’s bday ok; Jen you’re osom and deserve so much. You were the very first non-peruvian tumblr friend that I had and the best part is that I met you bc I just saw these cute, unique and funny levihan cosplay gifs uhfghufgf c: so guys have these inspired on one of my fave gifs of you two. You and Levi jackson rock oAo)/