zodiac tea

the signs having dinner
  • Cancer: serves everyone
  • Capricorn: "Bon appétit!"
  • Aries: holds in laugh
  • Scorpio: smirks and looks at Gemini
  • Gemini: "BONE APPLE TEA"
  • Taurus: "BOB ATE THE MEAT"
  • Libra: "BONE SMACK THE TEETH"
  • Capricorn: "What did I do to deserve this?"
  • Leo: "BOB ATE THE MEAT"
  • Taurus: "I just said tha-"
  • Aries: "BOY SNIFF THE QUEEF"
  • Pisces: tries to speak but gets interrupted by Sagittarius
  • Sagittarius: "BONG ASSHOLE SNEEZE"
  • Cancer: "Everyone, please! We're just trying to have a nice dinner.... "
  • *silence*
  • Capricorn: "Thank you"
  • Cancer: "Who am I kidding... MOM I HAVE FLEAS."
  • Capricorn: bangs head on table
  • Pisces: giggles
  • Pisces: "Guys I have a good one.. Toe-"
  • Aquarius: "BOB SAGET'S TEETH"
  • Virgo: "BUM SNIFF YA FEET"
  • Pisces: thinks to self 'toe tap a flea'
  • Scorpio: "FIND MY DEAD NIECE"
  • *silence*
  • The rest of the signs: look at scorpio
  • Scorpio: "Did I do something wrong?"
  • The rest of the signs: shake head in disbelief and start eating
  • Pisces: whispers "Toe tap a flea"
The Signs as lines from the Mad Tea Party Pt. 2 video

Aries: I feel it on my tits

Taurus: we’re all out of cookies

Gemini: all these MISTAKES

Cancer: TAKE YOUR CHAIR WITH YOU

Leo: I just want some fuckin TEA

Virgo: sit down jabberwock im tired of your shit

Libra: who am i? im late just that’s all you need to know im late

Scorpio: im stretchin my dick

Sagittarius: y’all fell down the wrong rabbit hole

Capricorn:  im shitting my pants

Aquarius: all of the sudden it smells like gorilla

Pisces: I just wanna eat some ass


(Video here and warning this one’s even weirder than the first)

Part 1

The signs as the After School Tea Time members

Yui Hirasawa: Cancer, Sagittarius

Originally posted by animebigworld

Ritsu Tainaka: Libra, Gemini

Originally posted by imaproudsone


Mio Akiyama: Leo, Aries, Capricorn

Originally posted by takasquid


Tsumugi Kotobuki: Pisces, Aquarius

Originally posted by etariyu

Azusa Nanako: Scorpio, Taurus, Virgo

Originally posted by animebigworld

If you got the story from an...

Aries: they’ll make themselves seem like the wittiest one in the whole interaction.

Taurus: you’ll get way more opinion of what happened than actual facts.

Gemini: they’re either spilling tea for intrigue or watching your reaction because they have an ulterior motive.

Cancer: it’s probably cause they’re feeling sorry for themselves and they need someone to hear them rant.

Leo: they’ll make themselves a more relevant factor than reality permits.

Virgo: they’ll list out all the facts as they are but mostly in the benefit of their own opinion which they’ll express very strongly.  

Libra: it’s been filtered to be non incriminating unless you ask specific questions.

Scorpio: it’ll sound way more scandalous than it actually was. They can make a family BBQ sound like a Maury episode.

Sagittarius: they’ll always make themselves look like the best factor in the whole plot.

Capricorn: they’re telling you because it’ll end up benefiting them in one way or another.

Aquarius: you can trust it if they’re speaking good about another person but shit prob never happened if they’re pissed.

Pisces: never believe it until it’s confirmed from at least three other parties.

(Source: Danielle Ayoka, https://twitter.com/MysticxLipstick)

The Perfect Starbucks Drink for Your Sign

ig//zodiacguide

Aries: Red Eye Iced Coffee

Taurus: Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino

Gemini: Newest Frappuccino on the Menu

Cancer: Vanilla Latte

Leo: Carmel Macchiato

Virgo: Iced Green Tea

Libra: Pumpkin Spiced Latte

Scorpio: Passion Tea

Sagittarius: Flat White

Capricorn: Espresso Shot

Aquarius: London Fog

Pisces: Oprah Chai Tea