zeppothedog

Rapha TOC Day 4

Today was tough. I’ll put it out there - my dog died this morning; I got a frantic call from Greg, who had just been there with Zeppo as he died, and proceeded to more or less cry for the hour plus drive to Santa Barbra. I watched the other women get excited about the day, the weather, the sun, the ocean, their coffee; I went through the motions of getting kitted up and getting on my bike all while feeling vacant and crying behind the safety of my sunglasses.

We got on our bikes and I sat in the back. I basically thought that was going to be what I did all day: check out, move my legs, get lost in thought, grieve. Then we hit the first climb and I knew I want to work fucking hard and to feel pain that I was in complete control of. It helped that the climb was fun, and that Julie went with me. We punched it, and it felt good. That effort helped me focus, and I was able to control my emotions and engage with the group (all of whom road awesome today). I got through the day, the terrible headwind, and the sketchy roads, but I’m sad, and I miss my buddy, and it’s hard to be away from home.