zankyou no terror spoiler

2

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

As soon as Twelve said that line, I knew I’d have to write something about it, but then you know, things happened and I’m very emotional and I don’t know what to do other than write the organized part of my feelings down, so bear with me.

Twelve says that neither himself nor Nine was ever needed by anyone. I don’t know Japanese so I’m not gonna base myself too much on the details of the translations, but still.

It always has been so obvious that Nine and Twelve need each other.

From the very start, they’ve been living on their own, making plans and later creating bombs and just overall surviving together, just the two of them. They solely have learned to live with the other, and to them being together is a habit, to the point where they are probably used to thinking in ‘we’ and ‘us’.

But then comes Lisa, and later comes Five, and they are separated for what is probably the very first time they can remember and we can clearly see how each of them suffers from that. They both suffer from that separation and deal with it in their own, different ways. 

But it’s when Twelve is far from Nine that he says to Lisa that they were never needed by anyone. He probably still thinks of him and Nine as ‘we’, even if he knows they are apart. He doesn’t think that one part of their duo may need the other, because he probably still thinks of him and Nine as ‘one’, in a way. 

Then earlier on, at the end of episode 10, Five tells Nine he was the one letting her live. She tells him that the thought of getting to him let her survive, let her resist the pain.

And I think the same goes for Nine and Twelve, with each other. As much as they form one, on the other hand, they are probably a good chunk of the reason the other is keeping up (at least for Nine, since Twelve hasn’t shown symptoms like Five and Nine did, but then I have seen theories that he would have been asymptomatic). 

So on one side you’d have their will to carry out their plan, and on the other, probably partially inconsciously, the will to stay with the other, to help him, to protect him. Those would be the reasons they were still alive.

And then at last you have the scene of Twelve’s death, and especially Nine’s reaction. It’s an impulsive, instinctive, uncontrolled reaction and Nine’s pain is obvious. And then he doesn’t even survive any longer. There may be other factors, yes, but the fact still is that as soon as Twelve died, Nine is hurt and distressed and that just opens the way to the physical pain and he dies from it. 

You can shove all the technical, more precise facts in my face, I’m still going to cry about how close and essential to each other these two were, and never even realized it (until maybe when it was too late).