zaily

I hope he calls you beautiful.

I hope he makes you blush bright red.

I hope he finds out that looking into your eyes makes you super happy.

i hope he looks at you like you make the sun shine out of your ass.

I hope you fall in love with his smile. 

I hope that when you look at him from afar you smile.

I hope that he makes your heart race.

I hope you like to smell him. 

I hope he gives you a new stuff lion. 

I hope he stays up and Skypes you.

I hope he finds exactly where you like to be bitten. 

I hope his phone game is strong. 

I hope he worries about what you want. 

I hope he makes better promises. 

I hope he makes the effort this time.

I hope he buys you orange juice.

I hope he buys you peanut butter cups.

I hope he kisses you with intensity. 

I hope he tells you how lucky he is to have you.

I hope he doesn’t hurt you.

I hope he shows you off.

I hope he cuddles with you.

I hope he snuggles with you. 

I hope he keeps all your secrets.

I hope he enjoys those pictures you like to send.

I hope he can take away that pain you feel. 

I hope he realizes what he did. 

I hope you don’t regret this.

I hope you are genuinely happy. 

I hope you fall in love.

I hope you don’t loose friends.

I hope you continue to succeed. 

I hope you have a bright future.

I hope you blush when you think of him.

I hope you smile when a song reminds you of him.

I hope you realize deleting IG pictures doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

I hope you remember how happy you were. 

I hope you think of me when you smell Charlie.

I hope you don’t throw Charlie away.

I hope you think of me when you catch a whiff of my perfume on the streets.

I hope you realize what you did.

I hope I become okay.

I hope I shake this numb feeling.

I hope I get out of this funk.

I hope I do not let this get to my head.

I hope I graduate without letting this get to my head.

I hope I have done enough to keep your friends for kicking your ass.

I hope I have done enough to keep my friends from not talking to you.

I hope I made you happy.

I hope I reminded you what love was.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?
-well I’m engaged so….
2.When did your last hug take place?
-this morning
3.Are you a jealous person?
-not really
4.Are you tired right now?
-negative
5.Do you chew on your straws?
-sometimes
6.Have you ever been called a tease?
-uhhhh. Jenny says I am.
7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
-try 72
8.Do you cry easily?
-nope. Rock solid. Unless you’re really close to me, then they’re the only ones I’ll be honest with.
9.What should you be doing right now?
-cleaning my room
10.Are you a heavy sleeper?
-depends
11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?
-well I’m about to commit to Jenny for forever. So…
12.Are you mad at someone right now?
-ummmm, no.
13.Do you believe in love?
-yes sir
14.What makes you laugh no matter what?
-my friends
15.Who was the last person you talked to?
-Jenny and KT
16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?
-oh god yes.
17.Will you get married?
-December 10, 2016. That’s our date.
18.When was the last time you smiled?
-I always smile.
19.Does anyone like you?
-well I asked Jenny to marry me so I think she likes me.
20.Do you secretly like someone?
-nope. My love is pretty much public
21.Who was the first person you talked to today?
-it was 12 am…. KT katiethebeat
22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
-Jenny, KT, David, and my brother.
23.What are you NOT looking forward to?
-doing my birthday weekend without insurance
24.What ARE you looking forward to?
-birthday weekend
25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
-my brothers tell me all the time, and I think David means it.
26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?
-flash my engagement ring. Cause that bitch was crazy. She is doing it on purpose.
27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?
-oh god yes.
28.Are you a forgiving person?
-mostly
29.How many TRUE friends do you have?
-4
30.Do you fall for people easily?
-eh
31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?
-lmao. Yes.
32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
-water
33.Who was the last person you drove with?
-my mother
34.How late did you stay up last night and why?
-3ish cause Jenny finally told me to go to sleep
35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?
-in a heart beat
36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?
-Jenny
37.Can you live a day without TV?
-yeah
38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?
-last Saturday and last Wednesday.
39.Three names you go by…
-Zaily. Thezaily. Babe.
40.Are you currently in a relationship?
-I’m happily engaged
41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
-footloose
42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
-we have many
43.What’s your current problem?
-being a college graduate with no Job
44.Have you ever had your heart broken?
-haven’t we all?
45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?
-not for me
46.How many kids do you want to have?
-we agreed on 3 but I’ll get my little army of 4
47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them?
-nope!

Facts
  • I have accepted the fact that you have seen seen other people since we've broken up.
  • I have accepted the fact that I can't see other people since we've broken up.
  • I have accepted the fact that you're leaving in 9 weeks.
  • I have accepted the fact that I will no longer see you.
  • I have accepted the fact that I have to say goodbye.
  • I have accepted the fact once you leave we will no longer be almost lovers.
  • I have accepted the fact that I will have to let go of the one I truly love- my soulmate.
  • I have accepted the fact that I will never be able to call you mine again.
  • I have accepted the fact that once I say goodbye, I'll be ready.
  • I have accepted the fact that once you walk away, my life will forever change.
  • I have accepted the fact.
  • I have accepted.
  • Accepted.
  • Except I don't want to accept.

You’re an asshole

the type of person that angers people

with the shit you speak

but you think that no one likes you

you’re actually really beautiful

but you’re just too scared to let anyone in

poor, sad, child

Well shit, sixteen days.

I graduate in sixteen days. My Christmas tree has been up since after Halloween. It hasn’t been on in a few weeks, because I’ve been stressing out. Today Jenny told me to turn it on (more like threatened me), and she told me to just look at it, and remember why I love Christmas so much. Needless to say, I am a bit less stressed, and focused on finishing this max patch. 

This morning before I left for school my baby brother comes up to me and says, “Zaily, will I always be your number one guy?” This made me tear up a little. And i told him to get into the car to take him to school. As he was getting out of the car I finally responded with, “My one and only .” He gave me the biggest smile, and I got the biggest hug from him. It was the best way to start the day.

The one thing that sucks about working on your college campus...

is that when you’re either graduating or about to graduate you are fucked. Finding a job is a fucking hassle, and your degree won’t always help. 

I’m fucking stressing out. I won’t have a job in a week and I’m really stressing. Add finals, and I think that’s why my body is starting to rebel against me. 

Lord help me.