zabars

Finding love in Zabar's


Door opens, I smell rye bread in the breeze

A slice of cheese if you please

Oh, Salami! Don’t be a tease

Nuts, Olives and pepper that makes you sneeze

The cinnamon babka is the bees knees

Ask for a Westsider’s expertise

“The smoked salmon!” He guarantees

Ask for a pound, butcher says “it can freeze!”

White haired woman disagrees

“Rugelah Samples!” The cashier decrees

Fruit falls to the floor, little boy flees

“Can I live here?” the manager laughs at my pleas

Full hearts and stomachs make lifelong devotees

By: Hollie Daudelin

idiverge.wordpress.com
An Open Letter to a Dude in Zabar’s

Dear Dude in Zabar’s:

I’m pretty sure you just looked at my sandwich and said, “Somebody’s hungry.” Thanks for noticing! I actually am hungry, and I purchased this sandwich so that I could be nourished and therefore more effective today.

I’m not totally sure what you meant by that comment, and you may have noticed me remaining somewhat close to you as I thought about what I should do. I considered asking you what you meant, and wondered what you might say. Most likely, you would say that you meant nothing. You might accuse me of being overly sensitive. In the worst case scenario, you would call me fat.

Being a woman who is short but not thin and therefore not seen as traditionally attractive, and you being a man, it seems likely to me that you would be implying something about me as an individual consuming this particular sandwich. Maybe you think I should be eating something else? Something smaller? Something diet? Something that was in theory but not in reality food? (This is Zabar’s. They don’t make shit like that here.)

I watched you leave, rooted to the ground. You took a very long time doing whatever it was you were doing to your coffee. Would you have made an off handed comment like that,  if that’s what it was, to a man? Did it occur to you not to say it, or was it a “reflex,” like some men claim street harassment is? You might have made the comment because you were certain that I would either not hear you or not respond to it. That’s usually how it works-men rely on women’s socialization around passivity and niceness to protect them from consequences.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear what would come out of your mouth if I challenged you or asked you to clarify your statement. I knew I didn’t want to hear it, I wasn’t sure it was going to make me feel better. I was skeptical that you would gain anything from it. Maybe now that you’re gone, I wish I’d said something. Maybe I don’t.

Anyway, Dude in Zabar’s, thanks for the observation and for reminding me that I needed to write a blog post today. Have an awesome day.

Chanel

Just got my daily Zabars spam…and it’s urging me to order my Christmas dinner from them in time (??!!)

Firstly, do a lot of people shop at Zabars to get their Christmas dinners? Because Zabars doesn’t exactly scream Christmas to me. In fact, it actually screams ‘If you’re Jewish and over 80’ - welcome!’.

Btw, the thing they were trying to get Christians to buy for dinner was a lox and bagel platter with schmear and ruggelach. Like, I’m pretty sure that’s not the go-to traditional dinner, right?

Who is buying this for Christmas? Who does Zabars think they are marketing to? I need to know!

THE BOASTFUL BAGEL: ZABARS

Zabars’ claims that they have the best bagels when toasted.  But what about straight-out-of-the-bag. If you can’t eat right-away – then you’re not the best bagel.