z house

I am not a fool. I am wise. I will run from my fear, I will outdistance my fear, then I will hide from my fear, I will wait for my fear, I will let my fear run past me, then I will follow my fear, I will track my fear until I can approach my fear in complete silence, then I will strike at my fear, I will charge my fear, I will grab hold of my fear, I will sink my fingers into my fear, then I will bite my fear, I will tear the throat of my fear, I will break the neck of my fear, I will drink the blood of my fear, I will gulp the flesh of my fear, I will crush the bones of my fear, and I will savor my fear, I will swallow my fear, all of it, and then I will digest my fear until I can do nothing else but shit out my fear. In this way I will be made stronger.
—  Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

                 BOOK STARTERS VOL.23   ( HOUSE OF LEAVES )  ( MARK Z. DANIELEWSKI )

  1. ❛ It may be the wrong decision, but fuck it, it’s mine. ❜
  2. ❛ Like patience, passion comes from the same Latin root: pati. It does not mean to flow with exuberance. It means to suffer. ❜
  3. ❛ No one ever really gets used to nightmares. ❜
  4. ❛ I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I’m not. ❜
  5. ❛ Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. ❜
  6. ❛ Some people reflect light, some deflect it, you by some miracle, seem to collect it. ❜
  7. ❛ Beautiful women are always drawn to men they think will keep them beautiful. ❜
  8. ❛ The ruminations are mine, let the world be yours. ❜
  9. ❛ You will fulfil a promise I made years ago but failed to keep. ❜
  10. ❛ Darkness never satisfies. Especially if it takes something away which it almost always invariably does. ❜
  11. ❛ I want something else. I’m not even sure what to call it anymore. ❜
  12. ❛ What can I say, I’m a sucker for abandoned stuff, misplaced stuff, forgotten stuff, any old stuff. ❜
  13. ❛ Is it possible to love something so much, you imagine it wants to destroy you only because it has denied you? ❜
  14. ❛ It’s just silent, no sound at all. It’s like something’s waiting. ❜
  15. ❛ I guess I’m hoping the weapons will make me feel better, grant me some kind of fucking control. ❜
  16. ❛ Oh and something else: – Fuck you. ❜
  17. ❛ God I’ve never been afraid like this. ❜
  18. ❛ I miss you. I love you. There’s no second I’ve lived that you can’t call your own. ❜
  19. ❛ I’m so tired. Sleep’s been stalking me for too long to remember. Inevitable I suppose. ❜
  20. ❛ Not seeing the rip doesn’t mean you automatically get to keep clear of the Hey-I’m-Bleeding part. ❜
  21. ❛ These days fantasies flourish and die like summer flies. ❜
  22. ❛ Yeah I know, I know. This shit’s getting ridiculous. ❜
  23. ❛ ‘Fuck’ and ‘fall for’ have very different meanings. The first one you do as much as you can. The second one you never ever, ever do. ❜
  24. ❛ It’s a nice idea but it reeks of hope. False hope. ❜
  25. ❛ It’s, well…one thing in two words: fucked up…very fucked up. Okay three words, four words, who the hell cares…very very fucked up. ❜
  26. ❛ Do you think I could spend the night at your place?  ❜
  27. ❛ Any fool can pray. ❜
  28. ❛ I feel like I haven’t slept in months. My neighbours are scared of me. ❜
  29. ❛ I’ve lost my mind? Maybe, maybe, maybe. Maybe I’m just really drunk. ❜
  30. ❛ Perhaps by cleaning out my system I’ll come to a clearing where I can ease myself into peace. ❜
  31. ❛ I should be dead. Why am I still here? ❜
  32. ❛ Fuck if I know. Your guess is as good as mine. ❜
  33. ❛ You are my flesh. You are my bones. I know you too well. I read you too perfectly. ❜
  34. ❛ Not all complex problems have easy solutions. ❜
  35. ❛ Do you believe in God? I don’t think I ever asked you that one. ❜
  36. ❛ We all create stories to protect ourselves. ❜
  37. ❛ Are you kidding me? This place is scary. ❜
  38. ❛ These days the only thing that gets me outside is when I say: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. ❜
  39. ❛ You like that crap because it reminds you of you. ❜
  40. ❛ You may suddenly realise things are not how you perceived them to be at all. ❜
—until there were too many kisses to count or remember, and the memory of love proved not love at all and needed a replacement, which our bodies found, and then the giggles subsided, and the laughter dimmed, and darkness enfolded all of us and we gave away our childhood for nothing and we died—
—  Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves