yup those are lilies

Like footprints on the shore

Eruri week day 1. Prompt: reincarnation au.

This is my very first aot/eruri fanfic, hope you guys like it! (Keep in mind that English isn’t my first language. Also, I don’t know how to add a “Read more” link, I’m sorry >.>)

After many turns and hills, a car stopped in front of a two-floored villa on the top of a hillock near the sea. While the first floor was occupied by a small family, the second, made up of two different apartments, was still vacant. Or better, it wasn’t going to be anymore. A jet black haired man jumped off the vehicle taking his sunglasses off. It was a pretty hot summer day, and the sun was shining high in the sky, not a cloud to be seen, as if the weather reflected his mood: he had been waiting for that moment for years. After his loving mother Kuchel had moved to another country because of work, he had been living in a hovel with his cold and ruthless uncle, Kenny, until he left him too, but now, it was time for him to leave those times behind. Just like in his past life. Everything seemed to be the same, besides the era, the environment and people. Especially people: he still had to meet all of his old friends. He had always waited, hoping to see them again someday, but that day didn’t seem to come… or did it? Do they still remember me like I do? was the question that kept popping up in his mind every now and then. Even if some of his memories were fading away, most of them were still vivid. However, he was afraid of losing the most important one. He knew that one day, he was going to forget him, and he couldn’t do nothing about it. He just had to accept it. Before going upstairs, he greeted the family, which was having lunch in the garden right outside the house. The only man of the group, father of two young twin girls, stood up, walked towards him and shook his hand. “It’s been a long time, Levi. Do you-” Levi’s eyes widened. “Mike? That Mike? Is that Nanaba?” the shorter man moved to his side so he could see the blond woman, who waved at him with a gentle smile. “Yup. And those two little “brats” are our daughters, Lily and Rose. When you called for more info about the house, I immediately recognized your voice, and there aren’t many Levi’s around. So, do you need some help to move your stuff upstairs?” “Y-yes…” Hope filled Levi’s heart. “Maybe he remembers too” he thought. The men took all the bags and boxes out form the car and brought them in front of Levi’s new house and in the process Levi kept smiling inside, overjoyed by the thought of his past-life lover. “And… we’re done. Here’s the key. I gotta go back to eat, unless I want Nanaba to kill me. Just tell me if you need something else, okay?” “Sure, thanks a lot.” Levi opened the door after two clicks. The house wasn’t too big nor too small: on the right side there was a cozy living room with a small TV in front of a red sofa, and another door, which led to the smaller of the two bedrooms. On the left there was a table with four chairs, right in front of the kitchen. Lastly, two doors in the middle led to the bathroom and to the main bedroom. Before taking everything out of the luggage, Levi headed towards the kitchen to make some tea in order to regain some energy after the long trip. Not a spot could be seen on the furniture: how could Mike forget about Levi’s obsession? While his hands were busy placing stuff on shelves, his head was still in the clouds. “I can’t wait any longer. Where are you?”

“Hey, Mike.” “Yes, my dear?” “Does he know it yet?” “No, I first want him to settle in then I… Wait, maybe I don’t even need to tell him, he’ll discover it by himself.” “I can already see him crying… poor guy, he must have missed him a lot…”

A ray of sunshine hit Levi’s tired eyes. Surprisingly, he had slept a little bit more than usual. The day before had been pretty tiring and he really needed some rest. After getting up from the bed making sure not to mess it up, he went outside to take a breath of fresh sea breeze. Waves could be heard crashing against cliffs, the wind was blowing gently trough trees’ crowns and Levi’s hair, messing up his dark locks. The scenery reminded him of the first time he and his remaining comrades saw the ocean for the first time in their life and how empty he felt without his commander by his side. Even if he was living a new life, he was still “enjoying” the view alone. Sighing, Levi stepped back into the house to have breakfast. He filled a bowl with hot tea and waited for it to cool down a bit, staring at it blankly while stirring the drink with a spoon. His mind couldn’t help but think of the past: the day he joined the survey corps, or when he became captain, the moment he saw the person he cared the most about coming back from a battle without an arm and all the times he had spent with him like… like… Levi closed his eyes and furrowed his brows. Something prevented him from recalling what were the only happy memories of that nightmare of a life. He took a sip from the bowl. “I’m just tired. All I need is some tea and I’ll feel better.” Unfortunately, as days went by, remembering was getting harder and harder and Levi would usually pace around the house trying not to forget what had made him smile in the darkest times. Warm, desperate tears came down his eyes when he couldn’t recall his first kiss. He slammed a fist onto the table, acknowledging there was no way to stop what had started. Although, he decided to write down everything he could remember, so that it wouldn’t be lost forever.

A knock on the door brought Levi back to reality. It was Mike. “Hey Levi, Nanaba and I are going out with the kids and I don’t know what time we’re coming back, so I wanted to tell you that someone’s gonna come next-door soon. Please, give him a warm welcome, don’t make him feel uncomfortable and be nice. He’s a friend of mine and he rented the house for two weeks. I’m sure you two will get along.” “Alright, thanks for telling me.” Levi looked at his “pajama”, which only consisted of a pair of boxer shorts. It was 11pm and he was about to go to bed. “I’ll get ready in no time. See you later.” Levi spent the next thirty minutes dressing up and wondering who could it be, when a honk told him he was about to discover it.
With a white, tight shirt and black pants, Levi left his house and went downstairs to meet the new guy. His car, a convertible, looked pretty expensive and the trunk and the backseats were full of suitcases. The door opened, revealing a tall and muscular blonde man with a roman nose and kind blue eyes. “Hi! Is this Mike Zacharia’s house? I’m Er-” Levi felt his heart stop. He walked slowly towards the man, looking at him right in the eyes. “-win Smith.” the shorter man completed the sentence. Silence was surrounding them, when the other broke it, stuttering some confused words before pronouncing four letters that meant the world for him. “Levi? I- You- I…” Levi stopped him again, pulling him by the shirt collar and kissing him with a fiery passion that had to wait other thirty three years to burn again. Erwin caressed Levi’s face with one hand and held him close with the other, happy to feel him between his arms again . Tears of joy fell down their cheeks. Neither of the two wanted to pull away, they felt like they could have stayed like that forever. The kiss broke only when both of them were gasping for air, hugging each other tightly. Erwin’s warm embrace made Levi smile like nothing else would. “I missed you, old man.” Levi was the first one to speak. “Where have you been all this time?” he asked with his head turned up to face the blonde. Unlike the kiss, their eye contact never broke “I should ask you that too. Well, I-” “Hey, stories can wait. I think we should bring all of your fancy suitcases upstairs first.” Erwin crossed his arms and faked a grumpy pout “Let me talk for once!”

“Wow, that was a lot of stuff you’ve brought with you. And you’re only gonna stay for… two weeks?” Levi’s voice tone dropped a little towards the end. “Yeah, at least that’s what I’ve planned…” Erwin knew he wouldn’t have let him leave so easily. “I think I can stay a little more. I gotta ask my boss first.” Levi sighed. “I see…You’ve never had free time, not even in this life. Ever thought of giving yourself a break?” Erwin chuckled at his words, the same words he had heard when he was a commander. They hadn’t changed a little. Levi had never stopped worrying about him and he had always put work before all else. They were sitting on the roof, above a wide terrace that linked their houses. All the lights were turned off and the only light source were the moon and the stars. Crickets were chirping in the background and some bats could be seen flying around, as if they were dancing to that fast-peaced melody. “…My parents are still alive and my current job is less stressing and tiring than being a commander. I also get paid a lot more than in my past life.” “Well, your life hasn’t been as shitty as mine. I used to be a bartender in a club, but, needless to say, moving here meant leaving my job. I still didn’t get to meet my father, my mother and uncle don’t remember anything and it took me over thirty years to meet you guys. But now…” Levi stopped for a second, tangled his hand in Erwin’s and rested his head on Erwin’s shoulder. “My wish has been granted. I’m back with you. You have no idea how much I’ve been waiting for this moment.” Levi leaned in to kiss him again briefly. “After you died, I thought I would never see you again, but I was wrong. Oh, now that I think about it, the last time we were together on a roof was when you died…” “Hey! Way to kill the mood man!” Erwin protested at Levi’statement laughing. Their hands were trapped one into the other and an hour had passed before the two climbed off the roof. “I guess it’s time to hit the hay…” Levi was about to enter his house when Erwin’s insecure voice stopped him. “Uhm…wanna join me? Just for tonight…” the shorty put on a sad look on his face. “Just for tonight? Aw, that’s too bad.” Levi walked in Erwin’s temporary house and took a quick look: it was a little bigger than his, but the arrangement of the furniture and the rooms was pretty much the same. He had checked out almost every room when he got in front of the door of the main bedroom and stopped for a second, before turning the handle: he knew what was going to happen once he had stepped in there and the thought of it made his heart beat faster than usual. As soon as the door opened, a king sized bed in the middle of the room welcomed him and his dirty thoughts. It was only a matter of seconds before they would have had “fun”. “Oh Levi, you forgot you pajama. Go back and-” Erwin, who had stopped by the kitchen to drink, entered the room, only to find out that his boyfriend was already in bed, apparently naked, wanting for him. “Don’t you want to put some clothes on? It’s pretty chilly tonight.” Levi rolled his eyes and invited Erwin to bed patting a hand on the mattress. “That’s why I need you next to me now. Hurry up and get your ass here.” “You know I don’t take orders from a subordinate.” Erwin started undressing slowly, knowing that Levi would have enjoyed the “show”. A shirt was thrown on the floor next to another one, followed by pants and underwear. Levi couldn’t help but staring while his cheeks and ears turned bright red. “Hey, my head is up here.” Erwin joked, lifting the shorty’s head with a finger. As soon as the blonde got under the covers, Levi climbed on the top of him and hugged him, covering his chest with light kisses. In the meanwhile, a hand was running up and down his back, making him slightly shiver. Catching him off guard, Erwin lifted Levi, who found himself with his back and hands pinned to the bed. He tried to break free from his grip, failing miserably. “You should also know that I hate insubordination.” “So what? Am I going to get punished or something?” Levi smirked, taunting the other man, who kissed him sinking his teeth into his neck, making him groan and arch his back. “I'll… take that as a yes… Ah!” The hands that were once around his wrists were now travelling around him, carefully following every curve. He could feel them brushing against his sensitive chest, waist and southernmost parts, sending him chills down his spine. Moans escaped Levi’s mouth as Erwin’s was working its way down his body. It had been way too much time since the last time they felt like this and the wait had only made everything better. Each time their bodies clashed against each other reminded them offer their old but still unbreakable bond, which had made them meet again in another life. Despite the pain, Levi managed to keep his legs tight around Erwin’s waist, wanting to feel the man deep inside him until his legs begged to stop. Not a word needed to be exchanged.

A clock ticked twelve times when Erwin opened his eyes and saw Levi, sleeping next to him with his hair all over his eye. He looked so relaxed that waking him up would have been a crime, Erwin thought. He had never seen him sleeping more than three hours and now. He could see his chest, still a little “dirty”, moving slowly along his breath. Erwin smiled at the peaceful view and decided to stay with him, playing with his sweaty locks between his fingers. “Ugh… stop it.” Levi slowly turned his back to him. “Morinin’ love. Did you sleep well?” Erwin hugged him from behind, kissing the back of his neck. “Don’t call me like that… What time is it?” “Midday.” The shorter man stood up yawning and rubbed his eyes before absorbing the answer. “Really? Well, I shouldn’t be surprised after what happened last night.” He looked down only to see his body covered in love bites and opalescence. “We really do need to take a bath, don’t we?” Erwin nodded in agreement and followed his lover to the bathroom. Levi stopped him in front of the door “Wait here, we gotta be ready for lunch in time. We’re eating at Mike’s.” “In the meanwhile, I’m going to make up the bed.” “Why do you even bother if we’re gonna mess it up anyway?”

A few minutes later, they were sitting at Mike’s table, together with the rest of the family. It seemed like none of them had heard anything. “They might be pretending… whatever” Levi thought while watching the twins eating. Suddenly, Rose, who was sitting next to him, stared at him right in the eyes with a devilish look on her face, then she got close to Levi’s ears and whispered something: “You guys had fun tonight?” “What?” the girl laughed “Don’t play dumb with me. I have my father’s nose and I noticed you smell different than usual. You smell like Erwin.” “I just had a shower, how-” “Are you underestimating our noses or what? Don’t worry, my dad has told me about you guys. He has always heard everything everytime.” The lunch proceeded smoothly, without any extra inappropriate comment, and the couple spent the whole afternoon with their friends. When they got back to their apartments, the sun was starting to set. Erwin got in his bathers and filled a bag with money, a book, and a towel. “You going to the beach?” “Me? We both are! C'mon, get ready and let’s go. You need to tan a bit, you look really pale. How long have you been living here?” “About two months. And… yeah, I’ve always stayed at home. I don’t like crowded places and the beaches here are usually full of people, especially brats. Also, how do you expect me to come with you with these bite marks all over my back and chest?” In the end, Erwin forced him to wear a t-shirt and go with him. Levi placed the towel on the sand so they could sit down without getting dirty. The sun was turning flame red in the rainbow colored sky. Before going back home, they went for a long walk along the shore, walking hand in hand as their footsteps were being erased by the waves. It was pretty quiet there, and Levi could enjoy the walk listening to the sound of waves instead of babies’ screaming. All of a sudden, Erwin bent over to pick a little stick up and write something on the sand: Erwin+Levi. “Tadaa!” Levi covered his face with a hand and chuckled “God, you’re so embarrassing. Hand me the stick.” He added a heart under the two names. “Now that’s cheesy.”

Erwin opened the fridge looking for something to eat: there was only some fruit, water and other drinks. Disappointed, he looked in Levi’s fridge. “What the hell are you doing with your face in my fridge?” Levi’s voice made him flinch and hit the head against the appliance. “There’s nothing in there, I’m going to the supermarket tomorrow. Go dress up, I’ll wait you in my car.” “Where are we going?” “To a restaurant, unless you don’t wanna starve.” With that being said, Levi left him alone. Erwin, once he heard Levi going down the stairs, took a look around the house. “Even in this life he’s a clean-freak… What’s that?” as soon as he entered the smaller bedroom, which seemed to be Levi’s, a bright green diary caught his eye. He repeated in his mind not to open it many times before curiosity took over him.

«I was born in the underground. My mother worked in a whorehouse and died because of her job and my uncle was an infamous killer. I had two friends, Isabel and Furlan, who both died after we joined the survey corps. I blamed Erwin, who eventually became my commander and lover, for that, and when I was about to kill him, he stopped my blade and gave me a reason to live: fighting for humanity, for my friends and, of course, for him. I wanted to help him follow his dream and ended up falling in love with him.»

«We first kissed…» The sentence was incomplete.

«I used to wear a black jacket, usually worn by someone else.» “By me, how can he not…”an unwanted thought appeared in his mind. Erwin kept reading.

«I used to go for a ride in the wood with my black horse.» “I would usually have dinner with Erwin, so that I could talk to him as lover, not a subordinate.»

«I loved him then. I love him still. Always have. Always will. That’s what really matters.»

“Oi! What is taking you so long?” the shorty shouted after waiting over ten minutes. “I was trying to take a shit, but it just won’t come out.” Erwin quoted him. While he bursted out a hearty laugh, Levi smiled, not really understanding what he thought being an inside joke. The town center wasn’t that far. The restaurant wasn’t full yet, but many people were already walking in the streets, under the yellow lights that brightened up the dark town, alone in the middle of a hill. Erwin and Levi took a sit in what was the only good restaurant. “You come here often?” Erwin asked the other man, skimming the menu. “”Not really, only when Mike and Nanaba do. I know what to order, how ‘bout you?” “I don’t. Give me a sec… Yeah, now I do. You know I’m paying, right?” “Yeah, and it would be useless if I tried to stop you.” “He still remembers this” “Just order whatever you want.” “Have you even read the prices?!” “Yep.” “Alright…” The food arrived in no time. Since the town was near the sea, the main ingredient was seafood. A delicious smell made their stomachs grumble in hunger: it was coming from a stew with mussels and a plate of pasta with clams and gurnar*.
“Wow, fis is theliffious!” Erwin tried to say while chewing pasta. “How’s yours?” “Pretty good, first time I eat it.” Everything seems to go well, when Erwin unconsciously started staring at his almost empty plate, thinking of the diary. Part of him wanted to know whether his assumptions were right or wrong, while the other didn’t. “Is something bothering you?” Levi asked concerned. “No, nothing. I was only thinking of what to do after we’re done eating.” That answer didn’t satisfy him “Are you sure?” “Yeah, don’t worry.” “Why don’t we go on that cliff? There’s a gorgeous view up there.” Levi pointed at some stairs that led to a promontory on the sea.

“Hey, I can see my house from here.” “How-? Oh, right, you left the light on. You know you’re gonna pay another kind of bill, right?” Levi jokingly mocked Erwin and then winked at him. The two of them were sitting close to each other on a bench, fighting the cool night breeze. Levi shivered and put himself under Erwin’s arm, when the blonde moved it away from him. “Put it back here!” “Wait…” Erwin unravelled his white scarf and tied it around Levi’s neck like his old cravat. “There you go. Take it, I don’t really need it.” Because of the resemblance between the scarf and the cravat cut out from his mother’s old dress, Levi’s eyes teared up. “I…love it. It smells like you.” He leaned in to kiss him on the lips as a “thank you”.
[…] “I’ve had the time of my life with you, both last night and today.” Levi cuddle up next to Erwin with his head in the notch of the neck “Goodnight, my love.” “Goodnight, Levi.”

A week and a half had passed by, and the two lovers had never stopped enjoying each other’s presence, forgetting what was going to happen to their memory. They both decided to have fun and live it up as long and as much as they could, going out every now and then, pleasing the other, or just staying together, feeling their soulmate around them.

Eventually, one of them had to suffer. It was Erwin’s second last day of vacation. The night before, Levi had had a strong headache and preferred to sleep in his own bed. Now, he was sitting right outside his door, reading one of Erwin’s magazines. “Morning Levi! Felling better?” “Yes, don’t worry. Oh, by the way, I have something for you.” Levi took something from his wardrobe and handed it to Erwin. It was his scarf. “You gave it to me some days ago and I forgot to give it back to you, I’m sorry, Mr. Smith.” Erwin felt his world crumbling around him, but managed to smile. “You can have it, you look pretty good in it.” “Thanks, I love it.” The answer was the same, the feelings weren’t.

*these are typical Italian dishes

Merry Christmas  ♥

As my phone is about to implode (due to its insistence I should upgrade it to the new operating system and/or because it’s so full that for every photo I take it freezes (ugh!) because Liz-there-is-no-more-room! I better do a blog post to hoist these memories into the cloud, because I’m 99.9% sure I need to wipe my phone. Fun fact: I love iPhones, but slowly slowly slowly am also hating them. 


Merry Christmas dear Internet dwellers near n’ far. I hope you all had a wonderful day with your family and friends. The future is now and the future is weird. Why? Because yesterday I spent way too long randomly tapping on people’s Snapchat stories and getting a peek into stranger’s Christmases. And… I sorta maybe absolutely loved it.  

It was so interesting to watch the big gatherings of some (as it’s so foreign to me), to the small gatherings at dining room tables, to Santa Claus hats on the beach. Christmas happening all over the world! From beaches to snow to friends down the road, it’s sort of amazing how social media has now not only allowed us to see perfectly staged photos of each other’s home lives, but rather actual video snippets.  It’s cool and odd all at the same time. 

Along the same lines I think it’s worth noting that a few years back I would get caught up in the social media holiday game. And I’d compare the perfectly staged outside of strangers’ Instagrammed lives, to my inside. And I’m not too sure what or when (I think I blogged about this way back then?), but I got over it, and now really enjoy seeing others’ lives, but I also look around at my small festive gathering, and feel all the warm fuzzy feelings.  

This time of year is truly great as it forces/encourages us to get together with the people we love.  Thinking about it now, I bet if this time of year never existed a lot of us would let it slide year after year after year. 


This year Christmas was a little untraditional for us. 

On Christmas Eve afternoon I bid my apartment farewell and turned off my tree’s lights (always so sad), and hailed my personal uber ride (my parents) to my sister’s.  

My sister’s family alternates years with us and her husband’s family, so this year we got them on Christmas Eve and Boxing Day - no complaints here, as more Lily time. 

My sister is expecting baby #2 (yay!!!!!!) so they did a gender reveal for us which was so much fun. I won’t share the full photos because they reveal what my niece/nephew is (and I haven’t confirmed with my sister if she’s sharing or not), but I was *convinced* it was one, but then it was the other. Still, so shocked!

On Christmas Eve two of my five photobooks were also opened.  A few weeks back I ordered five books through Photobook.com for Christmas. Four from the cottage, and one for my friend Natalie’s “Great Canadian Adventure.”  

The books were a huge hit - especially for Lily. She loved finding her loved ones in the books. Mommy! Daddy! Sally! Auntie!

Christmas Day was quiet in my neck of the woods. Speaking of woods, I went for a walk in them. I feel like everybody and their mother is aware we are having this crazzzzzzzzy amazing warm weather, which my brother and I fully took advantage of. 

So on Christmas Day I went for three (3!) walks with the dogs.  Truth be told it wasn’t just the warm weather keeping me on the move, but also my Fitbit, which I am totally all in on. 

There you have it folks. Each and every day this week I hit my 10,000 step goal. HIGH FIVE. Because whoa. It wasn’t that easy. Especially around Christmas when I found myself sleeping in, staying up way too late, and binge watching How to get Away with Murder

I’m thinking of making a goal for 2016 to get, are you ready for it? 3.65 MILLION steps in. Which is just a fancy way of saying, 10,000 steps a day average.  I was incredibly fat and lazy and slothful in 2015, so I think walking in 2016 is a nice goal. And I find 10k/day is a perfect number - hard, but still totally doable. 

This morning (Boxing Day) I headed to my local Starbucks nice n’ early to meet up with two high school friends (#homefortheholidays), which was awesome, and then hurried home to help my mom with Christmas Dinner and wait for everyone to arrive. 

Lily is absolutely our universe (yup, we’re those people now), and Christmas is 10,000 times more fun with her. 

Also, my job is the table. So, ta-da!

It’s now nearly 12:30am and the house is completely silent, as I sit by the Christmas tree and write this.  Tomorrow I head back down town, but what a joyous break this was. 

Merry Christmas

Love Liz