yt: i'm a professional

New urban fantasy theory:

Walmart hires vampires. This explains why it’s open 24 hours a day, why working there is often described as ‘soul-sucking’, and why there’s almost always no windows.

Most damningly, Walmart is one of the few stores that specifically hires a ‘greeter’ with no other job than to welcome every person into the store.

Because vampires have to be invited in.

How 2 Horse Friend

I’m here to help friend!!
So you open the little icon in the bottom left, and you open a lil game with a horse! Awesome!

The bar at the top is health. When your horse takes toxic dumps, its health starts to decline! All you gotta do is click on them to get rid of them and the health will start regenerating

Oh no! Your horse died! If you click “remember your dead,” you get taken to a scrolling list of all of your previous horses (hit “return to the living” to get back to this screen). Click “hatch a new one” to restart the game and get a new horse!

Some stuff:

  • at the top right there’s a little camera and arrow; the camera opens a photo post with a screen cap of the game, and the arrow minimizes the game
  • minimizing the game does not pause the game
  • going to a different tab does pause the game
  • writing a post, going to blogs, refreshing the page, etc. does not effect your game; it’ll either stay open and you keep playing, or it pauses it. If you can see the game or it’s icon, the game is running! If you don’t see it, it’s paused!
  • the hearts you get when you click on your horse do nothing but they’re fun to watch
  • don’t kill your horse

Hi, your Supervisor here, Whoa™

Just for reference, although this verse is unconnected to the actual events of DR, Kuma himself may still know some of the DR muses (if they so choose to recognize him), albeit it to varying degrees.

If your muse is from D.ANGANRONPA & is either J.UNKO E.NOSHIMA, M.ONAKA T.OWA or I.ZURU K.AMUKURA, they are 100% allowed to recognize Kuma, HOWEVER, they do not know anything about his personal life or job or why he’s involved with the Butterfly Experiment, etc. They would only know about him as a person. Therefore, if you RP either of these three, it’s your choice whether they recognize Kuma and/or have personal opinions of him or not.

To everyone else, even within the DR universe, he is a TOTAL STRANGER.

That being said, welcome to the verse again && I’ll post a starter call for this loser once he’s actually introduced in the story. :)

How my mind works

At work, finishing filling the reservoir with fresh water for the underwater treadmill. Check the temp, mentally ask, “Is the heat on?”. Water temperature is 80, supposed to be 89-90. Heat pump is on. I’m about to go to lunch so it should heat the rest of the way before the next patient comes.

-10 seconds later-

*Glenn Frey song starts playing in my head*
The heat is on! The heat is oh-hon! On the street! The heat is….

-the same four lines repeat in my head for the next 2 hours-

Out Of Context

The following are some out of context quotes from my most recent work in progress.  Enjoy, and I’m sorry.

“I’m giving you a hug, you ignorant bitch.”

Think of an avocado misplaced in the freezer aisle until it collapses.

“How much energy does it take to come back to life?  A real number please, not measured in teaspoons.  Seriously, don’t be stupid.”

After a few minutes in which nothing happened in the “I’ve been poisoned” department, he managed to settle down and accept the hospitality as it was.

“You charge your insects rent to live on castle grounds?”
“We would, but they can’t usually afford it.”

Ferdie had once heard his room described as spartan, a word which could mean minimalistic and contained nothing he did not physically require, or it could mean a bloody-minded killer.

“Unless you’d like to bring your barber into the plot, that’s as good as it’s going to get.”

Rothbard had called her unlovable.  He’d said it with relief.

Nobody talked about the incident with the donkey skin.

Aunt Elise, at least, managed to convince them that the dress was expected to be neither a threat to bystanders nor parasitic to the wearer.  It seemed they had lacked that particular knowledge.

Chapter Four: Many preparations are made, and everyone is certain that their plan will definitely work.

“’You’d be lucky to comprehend her, as kitchen mold would be lucky to comprehend the stars.’ Kitchen mold?  Really?

He gritted his teeth and made a mental note to find out who kept supplying Siggy with writing materials, and have him dismissed.

There were something that nobody was allowed to do, and undermining four months of his own surreptitious political manipulations was one of them.

He might have had a chance going up against crazy.  Versus poetry, however, he could feel that he’d already lost.

The man always seemed to slide wherever he went.  Perhaps it was the knees, Ferdie thought […] Shock absorption, that’s where it all is.  Got great long legs like that, the knees are probably terrific at regulating the whole thing.

currently in a show where I need to be head-over-heels in love with a guy who makes me very uncomfortable (and who smells really weird) 😕😕

Nut shot.

Me: Sitting on tumblr and talking to people on omegle
My adopted brother who was originally my best friend then shit happen (long story): air thrusting to my left just within reach of me
me: stahp
adopted brother(which btw is the same age as me and is just as much a smart/dumbass as me: thrust faster
me: (without looking) shoots fist out to left and nails him in the nuts

adopted brother: falls over and whimpers
me: gotcha bitch

adopted brother owwwwwww
me: starts to write post
adopted brother: y u do dis

me: because I’m a professional! *slaps him in face*

How to Play the Clarinet

Step one: Ensure that the instrument you are holding is a clarinet.

 Note that flutes and oboes have been known to pose as clarinets to confuse predators.

Step two: A good embouchure is everything.

Most clarinets will refuse to produce a quality tone unless you look like you are giving birth from your belly button.

Step three: If you cannot produce a note with good tone quality, blame your reed and repeat steps one and two with war paint.

Step four: You will not sound amazing your first few times playing. You will squeak and make all kinds horrible noises until you know exactly what you’re doing. Until then, take out your frustrations by hunting down that kid that called you Squidward.

(And yes, at one point or another, somebody will make a Squidward joke. It’s a curse that comes with playing the clarinet.)