ypa

hey its me fen and im sorry to make a post like this again but im stranded in missouri right now because our car broke down and mechanics have assured us that the problem is effectively unrepairable. we need to get back to columbus and get a car but my job sliced my hours the last few weeks and we just dont have the best credit right now so dealerships dont want to touch us without a cosigner. so like if anybody in missouri knows of a car being sold or can help us with money or something please don’t hesitate to send a message or something. my p*ypa* is sciamach at hotmail uhhh thank you for reading this

YPA 5
My Best Friend Anxiety

Do you know what it’s like

to wake up shaking at night

Soaked to the bone in your own sweat?

Have you ever had to hide

In a bathroom,in broad daylight

Because you think someones hands are going to wrap around your neck?

I get that all the time

Even the comfort of my own bedroom gives me the shakes

And every time someone looks at me

they can see my mistakes

And they can read it on my face

And all it does is just drain

All my composure and grace

And still everyone expects me to be able to explain

”Why are you crying?”

”Why can’t you speak?”

”Why can’t you breathe?”

”Is this the person you’re always gonna be?”

Except it’s not me

It’s anxiety

It’s always anxiety

It’s anxiety that was there every time I tripped in the hallway

It’s anxiety that was there every time someone was waving to the person behind me

I can’t just laugh of the little things

They stay with me and they burn and they sting

And while I’m sobbing so hard it hurts me

I was still left with no mercy

If some kid was sick,all he got was a little extra homework

Yet I was still expected to give an oral report

to swallow my vomit

for a grade I didn’t want

And every one is so understanding for someone with a normal fear

But because I’m afraid of myself I’m weird

And a few people try,but no one know s how to act

When I’m crying and feeling like a heart attack

And I can’t run every time it comes along

don’t get me wrong,medication works

But only for so long

And then,once again,I’m left in the dark

Not knowing what to do

Because no matter what,it always follows you

It’s always there in the back of my head

Criticizing me until I’m dead

And as much as I’d  hate to admit it

It’s my closest friend

It knows things I wouldn’t tell to anyone else

It knows how to twist me and make me turn on myself

It picks at me like a scab

snapping at me like a rubber band

Just poking me until I get mad

and say something stupid

and then I look bad

And it’s all put on me

Because anxiety is something that no one can see

And I know this isn’t the way I was meant to be

But parts of me are broken,parts I can’t see

So I can’t fix me

So I’m just left with the thoughts inside my brain,the thoughts I made

That drive me insane

That scrape me with a needle until I give in

That won’t leave me alone until they won

Anxiety,my best friend

-ypa

10

The Yugoslav People’s Army (YPA), also referred to as the Yugoslav National Army (YNA), was the military of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia.

The origins of the JNA can be found in the Yugoslav Partisan units of World War II. As part of the antifascist People’s Liberation War of Yugoslavia, the People’s Liberation Army of Yugoslavia (NOVJ), a predecessor of the JNA, was formed in the town of Rudo in Bosnia and Herzegovina on 22 December 1941. After the Yugoslav Partisans liberated the country from the Axis Powers, that date was officially celebrated as the Day of the Army in the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia (SFR Yugoslavia).

In March 1945, the NOVJ was renamed the Yugoslav Army (Jugoslovenska Armija) and finally on its 10th anniversary on 22 December 1951, received the adjective “People’s” (Narodna).