yoututber

ATTENTION ALL :

We ALL know that the lower stomach is one of the very hardest places to burn fat and tone. These are some terrific exercises to do in the morning and at night to burn those hard to tone areas! Do this every morning when you wake up, and every night before you sleep. I guarantee you’ll see results in a week flat!

Imagine #12 {Requested Joe}

Imagine based on Iris by Goo Goo Dolls

     I was diagnosed with Adult Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia a year ago, the day was most vivid then I would have desired. His words doomed inside the car, “I am so sorry ma'am, but you have cancer.” The weather that day in England matched my mood, the rain pelted my window as I pulled my car to the side. My body violently shook as I cried my heart out. Memories of Joe and I filled my mind causing me to thrash inside my shielded car.

“Why?!” I rushed outside my car wanting to run away from everything. The rain was making my body cold, I feel to my knees crying in my hands. I could see a source of light in my closed eyes.

“Excuse me ma'am but are you okay?” A young couple asked me, I just sobbed and leaned against my car. I nodded before pulling out my phone. My life felt out of control, it was spinning inside my hands and I can just stand here and watch it go insane.

“Y/N, baby where are you?” Joe’s tense voice spoke inside the phone. The young couple drove away with apprehension. My crying was vivid in the phone as I tried to speak.

“J-Joe it’s cancer." 

My weak, bruised, fatigue body sat up right on the leather couch. My breathing was unsteady from the cancer and the pictures in front of me. There were Joe and I on our three year anniversary. My hair was flowing in the wind as Joe’s hugged me from behind. I touched my bald skull and moved to the next. The sight of this photo was beautiful. I had my hiking backpack on and set up the Canadian Wilderness with Joe. I was all smiles that time.

And you can’t fight the tears that ain’t coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you’re alive

I could feel my hot tears roll down my face, the familiar taste of bitter metal was in my mouth. My gums were bleeding again. I extended my weak hand to the handkerchief beside me.

"Babe, I am home. I found this new receipt that I think will help with the sympto- hey, what are you doing?” Joe sat down beside me. He wrapped his arm ever so gently around my ribs. 

“Looking at the happy times.” I moved my body across from him.

“Hey, you are always happy.” Joe leaned forward for a kiss.

“Does it look like I am happy?!” I started to scream but the shortness of breath prohibited that. I motioned my arms towards the start of my body to the end. My clothes were bigger then Joe’s clothes on my. I turned into stick and bones. “I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

“You’ll get through it, we will get through it.” Joe placed his hands on my knees. I could see the pecks of tears trying to escape the corners of his eyes. I shot up, my head started to spin.

“Joe! This cancer I have is terminal, I am going to die!” Tears started to run down my face.

“No, you’re not.” Joe mumbled hugging his knees. I sat down beside him.

And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

“Joe, I am dying. This cancer is not going to go away. Not now, not ever.” Joe immediately shot up.

“No, you are going to live! You are going to get better, I need you here!” I ushered Joe to sit beside me again. I could see the sorrow and desperation in his eyes. I remember the first day we met. His eyes were the best thing I ever seen, I felt lost in them. They were filled with curiosity and humor. I took that away from him, and that what was killing me on the inside.

“Joe, this is cancer took over my life. I can’t do the activities I want to do anymore, you aren’t able to do the same things you want to do as well. I will die soon. I want you to find someone you’ll love with all our heart. You’ll take her out to the scary movies, take long walks in the freezing cold, you will love her ten times more then you have loved me.” I could already see the tears flooding his face. “You’re going to fall in love all over again. She will be the mother of your children. I can already see your daughter in my eyes, she will be absolutely beautiful.”

“Please, don’t say what I think you are going to say.” Joe cupped his eyes in his hands.

“Joe, we are over. I love you with my heart, and I will always love you even in after life. I don’t want you to see my like this anymore. You have seen my in my best times and now you are finally seeing me at my worst and I am not okay with that. I love you, Joseph Sugg.”

 And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t wanna miss you tonight

A little voice squealed as a pair of arms through her over a pair of shoulders. Her poka-dot dress was lightly stained with juice stains and candy residue. A petite women was rolling a stroller in her simple summer dress. They traveled along the ground of the carnival, the rides, foods and the clowns spotting the excitement in the little girl and the baby wrapped in blue. He leaned in towards a kiss to the petite women but the little girl kissed his cheek instead. They laughed.

“I am so happy for you Joe.” My ghost was finally at ease.