youth youth

heavy be the head

*
thump-thump -

this beat rouses me -
hinting at a finality
honoring all those that have pulsed before
& gone away…

with a distinct chance this one might be my last;

turning me into
a ravenous hoarder grabbing hold of each 

like trying to fill an airplane-sized hangar
with ill-gotten goodies serving no possible use 
except to stockpile.

thump-thump -

this next one, 
a string connecting me 
to a future i desperately hope to see 
in my mirror at least once more 
should i be so lucky…

thump-thump -

thank God you’re not me,
cause if you were,  
every one of these heartbeats would matter.
  
every. single. one.

& if you’re not grateful or careful,
you could lose the very ones that you’ve got.

ever since
i tried to rise that fateful morning
without one,

listless - locked out of my body in a limbo,
a land blasted from a bottle -
more accurately,

from a test tube
full of volcanoes, tornadoes
or a damned force of some unnatural nature,
is all i know…

courtesy of the esteemed Doctor

who assured me
that the nights be longer,
the beats be stronger,          
the heat’s hunger,
hotter than ever.

instead,
every heart’s heave is wronger
& heavy be the head of mine,  
dread filled;

thump-thump -

as my middle, man
moves in for the kill.
*
6/14 - lebuc - heavy be the head