red-blue-fuck-you  asked:

remember, you asked for it. solkatepetaquiusridandavesprite^4 >;)

TG: sollux
TG: you are my best friend
TG: but sometimes,,
TG: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
TG: sometimes i really hate you

TG: how dare you make me do this with my own two hands how dare
TG: god i had to map this fucker out on paper before i did this
TG: i hate it
TG: if i dont get fanart of this asshole im deleting my entire blog


TG: yo what up im king or whatever
TG: egypt king
TT: Egypt king?
TG: yeah king of egypt
TT: I’m sure there’s a word for that.
TG: yeah and its egypt king
TG: got my fuckin scepter which is of course also broken but its chill its mostly ceremonial anyway
TG: not gonna be cuttin up dudes with my sword
TG: thats what these guards are for
TG: these fuckin
TG: bird and lizard furries
TT: Are they furries? I don’t see any fur on them.
TG: they fall under the furry umbrella dont interrupt
TG: oh fuckin nice thanks for the fish
TG: the whole ass entire gigantic fish
TG: i was craving huge ass fish thank you
TG: now i wont get like super mad and have you executed
TT: Dave.
TG: what is it egypt citizen
TT: What’s that?
TG: what
TT: That.
TG: oh under the lizard furry you mean
TG: thats a
TG: oh
TG: oh.

do you think dave has ever been tempted to get on trollian to drag the shit out of his younger self. like, he’d never do it, ‘cause he’s so conscious of time bullshit, but goddamn. he must really want to sometimes. 

TG: who are you

TG: im you but like actually a functioning human being

or maybe he’d be more likely to just be like “hey bro i know life is literal garbage and you live with an abusive prick but no worries one day you’ll be like 80% gayer and dating an alien” 

anonymous asked:

Oh btw!! Happy asexuality week to you fellow ace!!!

TG: this took all day and im like. this is the best thing ive ever made (rivaling solkatepetaquiusridandavesprite^4 of course) and im just
TG: im genuinely so happy with this
TG: this is me and all my other aspec friends in my timeline
TG: theres nine of us and were all happy to be here
TG: and i know its the middle of the week but HAPPY ACE WEEK EVERYBODY
TG: and BY THE WAY if you want a clickable version you can find it HERE

((TG: me - aromantic asexual
TG: aradia - aromantic asexual
TG: sollux - biromantic asexual
TG: john - biromantic asexual
TG: karkat - panromantic asexual
TG: calliope - panromantic asexual
TG: rose - biromantic demibisexual
TG: equius - polyromantic aegosexual
TG: gamzee - omniromantic quoisexual))

AC: :33 < what do you mean its creepy i practiced for like an hour

TG: no

AC: :33 < it means im normal now! just like you

TG: stop

AC: :33 < youre just jealous of my normalness

TG: yeah

AC: :33 < look at me strider look at my quiet hands

AC: :33 < so normal and lovable dave

TG: leijon plz

TG: i didnt invent applied behavior analysis

TG: why must you punish me

TG: your practically best friend ever

AC: :33 < im cured dave

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33

TG: nepeta

AC: :33 < meow?

TG: i have candy

anonymous asked:

Sapphic ace Mom Lalonde!!!!

TG: so i started with roses mom but then i was like
TG: wait theres two mom lalondes
TG: so i made sapphic ace stuff for both moms
TG: i hope you dont mind that i colored them like how they look in my timeline if you want the blank versions then hmu

TG: FUNFACT i drew roxys moms hands all by my fuckening self and lemme tell you
TG: i am never doing that shit again

anonymous asked:

(Part 1/2)i have this friend that's really a jerkface. she slapped me when i came out because I didn't tell her first, pretty much said to my face that our friendship is meaningless, and is purposely annoying my other two friends so they'll leave me

“(Part 2/2)… but i don’t know how to get rid of her because shes kind of popular and I don’t want it backfiring… sry for ranting. any advice?” 

TG: woah dude
TG: a bro slapping a bro for any reason besides a friendly pat on the back is not okay
TG: and coming out is a very personal thing
TG: one of the most personal
TG: its not her coming out so she doesnt get a say in who gets told first
TG: period
TG: if she were an actual decent friend she would understand that

TG: you should tell one or many trusted adults what happened
TG: in fact keep telling adults until someone listens
TG: and then drop that friend like a particular sack of hot shit on a sweaty summer day when you already got your hands full and dont have time to pick up that nasty sack because youre moving on with your life
TG: and then make new friends
TG: friends that dont believe in hitting other friends or trying to control some of the most important things of their friends lives

TG: popularity doesnt typically last past one school or workplace
TG: it may seem scary when it’s against you like the fucking armada of douchebags
TG: but the most important thing is to get out of that toxic relationship and build a massive fucking wall of people who love and support you
TG: good luck

anonymous asked:

What food do you hate but everyone else seems to like? (I hate baked beans but everyone loves them for some reason)

TA: carrot cake wiith raii2iin2 iin iit, why would you ruiin a perfectly good cake wiith liittle 2quii2hy grape turd2??
TC: HaHaHa GrOsS. xo) fOr Me It’S tHeM lOfThOuSe CoOkIeS.
TC: ThEy SiT tHeRe LoOkIn AlL pReTtY wItH tHaT cOlOrFuL iCiNg AnD sPaRkLy-AsS lItTlE sPrInKlEs
TC: BuT tHeN yOu BiTe InTo ThEm NaStY tHiNgS aNd It’s ClOyInG aS sHiT, mAn, AlL lIkE eAtInG sUgArY gLuE.
TC: ThEy AlL uP aNd BaKe ThEm FaCtOrY cOoKiEs Up Of FuCkOfF eViL dEcEiT aNd SaDnEsS.
TC: LoOkS lIkE sOmEtHiNnG sOmE wItCh In A fAiRy TaLe WoUlD bE aLl GiViNg At YoU, bEiNg AlL ‘Yo EaT tHiS sHiT iT wOn’t TuRn YoU iNtO a NeWt Or NoThIn’ HaHaHa.
EB: i got better!
TT: I often feel the same way about fudge. It looks nice, but the texture is incredibly offputting.
AC: X(( < Those gross gummy orange slices are the worst! They look so nice but they’re SQUISHY and GRITTY and AAUUUGGGHHHHHH
TC: JoB sEcUrItY, kItTySiS. ;o)
TT: I find it interesting how so many of our dislikes center around food that initially looks enticing.
AC: X(( < ewwwww yeah
GA: I Am Not Fond Of Jello With Fruit In It I Ate Nothing But That For Weeks After Getting My Tonsils Removed
GA: I Cant Even Look At It Anymore
TG: i hear you im the same way with butterscotch pudding
TG: it has the color and texture of warm diaper batter
TG: and once bro bought an entire case of it and welp thats dessert for the next four months enjoy little man
TG: never again
TG: never
TG: again
GG: aww that’s terrible!! :(
TG: yeah
TG: what about you
TG: is there anything your iron stomach cant handle
GG: hehehe hmmm
GG: nope! :D all is welcome in my mouth.
TG: kinky

people always act like dave and dirk are going to hate eachother cause they need more strider angst to jack off to but can you imagine them meeting for real.

TT: So what do you think about horses?
TG: theyre cool i guess i mean
TG: kinda like dogs with long legs
TG: except dogs are less likely to accidentally kill you
TG: or shit on you
TG: idk do you like dead things in jars
TT: That sounds fucking awesome.

furrycoremutual  asked:

hey gamer, could i get a dave lalonde (roxy swapped) sprite? i had rlly fluffy hair, cat eye sunglasses, torn up jeans, and my symbol was a crow! thank u :3c

TG: ish
TG: on a scale of one to ten im usually at a five BUT MY HIGHEST IS A SIX AND IM AT A SIX
TG: i finally got off my ass and made some of the requests that have been piling up and this one is the first one
TG: i present to you
TG: dave lalonde version two

TG: im screaming about those glasses boy i want me some of those
TG: why dont i own them
TG: i need to start a sunglasses collection. this is happening immediately

anonymous asked:

Roxy can you say something to cheer me up? You're super cool and cute *hug*

TG: if u arent feeling great

TG: if u feel small or sad or ashamed or unloved

TG: please remember

TG: you are the only you that will ever exist

TG: in all of human history you are the only you

TG: you are irreplaceable 

TG: and you are lovable and surely loved

TG: and its so so so sad to think anything other than that

rain-pops  asked:

oh HELL yes ace week :0!!! would a ace/trans Dirk be okay ?o?

TG: all the striders are slowly becoming asexual
TG: its because of me
TG: i am contaminating the air
TG: passively forcing them all to start appreciating cake a little more
TG: i can feel it happening
TG: be aware of aces during ace week? no
TG: beware of aces during ace week
TG: were coming for you
TG: heres your dirk he is good i hope you like him