yoursummerstar

I just got out of the hospital yesterday. I missed the panic and pandemonium that the 6.9 (or was it 7?) magnitude earthquake that took place last Monday and all the aftershocks that followed caused, since I was asleep (on some very powerful sleep stuff) during most of my three-day stint on the hospital bed. I felt some of the tremors, but I just wasn’t conscious enough to get freaked out (too groggy). I’m hoping nothing worse will happen and I’m praying for everyone whose family members or loved ones got hurt to be strong and keep safe.

Anyway, I had a severe allergic reaction to something (it’s still unknown), that my intestines started to swell up – which was why I was complaining of a really bad tummy ache. (I always used to make light of my allergies and ignored the rashes and all, but now I guess I have to take them more seriously.) I had to be sedated most of the time, because I kept being a crybaby. Haha. But I’m better now. Thank God, I couldn’t wait to be out of the hospital. :)

I missed a few exams, both my arms are still swollen (my left hurts like a bitch – I officially hate IVs, especially when they have to be reinserted a lot), plans for my four-day vacay to Cebu are now dead (bye bye shopping spree, was looking forward to that), and I’m banned from eating everything I like (in case, chicken and eggs trigger another allergic reaction) – I just am happy that I can be here at home and resting up. Next week is going to be hell busy, I’m sure.

On other news, my mom forced me to cut my hair – it looks horrendous. And more buttons on my laptop aren’t working. I really have to get this fixed soon.

Thanks for reading this long, incoherent, rant-y post! Everyone have a nice day ahead! :)

Almost done with my new theme! I thought it was finally time to switch things up a bit. I have had my old theme for ages.

I wanted something simple, not overboard and kind of minimalist– but I just wasn t ready to let go of colors yet. And so, the result is this semi-disaster-but-may-still-be-a-good-thing thing. Haha. A few things are still not quite right though, I have to fix them tomorrow. (Icons, colors, tacks, arrows) It is kind of hard to do all this when your keyboard is going loco on you. (Ugh, no backspace, apostrophe, prt scrn keys.)

What do you think?

I was strolling around in the park with a friend earlier, when this tiny pug came up to me and started playing and hugging and horsing around. AAAAHHH, so adorbz, so short and stout. According to the owner, Crinkle/s just one year old. I don/t usually like small dogs, but for this little baby – I/m making an exception.

#goodday

(Forgive the /s, my apostrophe key is still kind of fucked up. And, no, I don/t usually put my sunglasses up on my head like that. I was just too excited to play with Crinkle that I had to hurriedly get them off my face. Haha. Just saying.)

I am not a perfect person.

I have never though of myself as such, and I probably never will.

There are so many things I don’t like about me. Thighs that frenchkiss when I walk, lips that are always a tad bit too dry, hair that fights off even the strongest of all hair sprays – and it’s not just the physical aspect, either. I talk too loud. I’m too gutsy, too forward, too frank. I’m stubborn; I hate not getting what I want. I’m a big mess of conflicting ideas and mixed-up thoughts.

Sometimes, it just gets to me, you know? What if I don’t want to be a “bad girl” anymore? Am I being too easy? Why do I have fun seeing other people suffer? Does it even matter if they deserve it or not? All of my not-so-nice traits piling up, all these negative characteristics that influence make up who I am – sometimes, I wish I could just wake up the next morning and be a totally different person. We’re talking a major personality overhaul. It’s so hard to change and be a better person when all your life all you’ve been is “that girl”.

But then I remember, that this is who I am. It’s the ME that took eighteen years to get here, eighteen years to be this sometimes-annoying-but-mostly-just-fun-loving bitch. And if there are facets of me that I do want to change, it probably won’t take overnight. I may have an unpleasant side, but I sure as fuck know how to have kick-ass fun. There may be things I regret doing or regret being, but I’ve got a big future ahead and life’s just too short to look back on past mistakes. Hell, I may even do these mistakes over again, but whatever – I am who I am, ugliness and all.

So yeah, I’m not a perfect person.
I have never thought of myself as such. And I never will.

And it’s not so bad. :)

(After a series of bad decision after another, right after vowing not to make the same mistakes, I just had to make this entry to stop myself from entering my self-hate/self-pity mode. It’s a long, incomprehensible rant; but I needed to get my mind of so many things that I really shouldn’t dwell so much on.)

It’s so sad to see my account lose so many followers - but I can’t blame them. The last time I posted here was probably a month ago. Sorry for being so busy!

On other news, I’m hopefully graduating soon! I’m currently serving my OJT requirement of 1,080 hours at Riverside Hospital as medical technology intern. It’s been way fun - lots of new experiences and new friends. Just got home from a night shift, though - so my eyes are killing me and my brain is shutting off. Hope I can talk more soon! :>

Leave me a msg! :)