youre-lying

Shiny Rock

- We have just begun our first mission. We’re in a small ruin. One of our players is a tiny dwarf who is also blind. -

Blind Dwarf: I don’t like it here. Is cold and boring and I don’t see anything shiny!
Fighter: You can’t see anything shiny because you’re blind! Just- here. Take this rock. *Hands her a rock from the ground*

- She rolls to see if she can tell the Rock is shiny and rolls a 3 -

DM: you have no idea if the rock is shiny or not. So you simply peace around singing “shiny rock!” And no one dares correct you.

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For some context: We are are relatively new players and this was our second session. DM tells us we have some time to talk in character. The elf in the part, Thia, is trying to make conversation with the Tiefling Cleric, Valzis, that just murdered a bugbear and intimidated goblins into giving her twenty gold. She also has quite the tragic backstory. Then there is the halfling bard, Astrid, who is a total liar.

Thia: So Val, what is your tragic backstory?

Valzis just stares at Thia and stays silent.

Thia: Okay! So Astrid, what is your tragic backstory?

Astrid: Well, you see…

Astrid spent five minutes reciting Superman’s backstory, without changing it at all to make it fit into the universe.

  • steve: you wrote about me
  • bucky: I don't know what you're talking about
  • steve: you pulled me out of the river
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you nearly killed tony because he hurt me. you actually roared like an angry pigeon or something
  • bucky: I don't like him
  • steve: you tried to pull me behind the shield when I was covering you with it
  • bucky: I didn't mean to do that
  • steve: you remembered my shoes and the hotdogs but not that girls name
  • bucky: I have memory problems that's all
  • steve: you left our dates because I ran off, didn't even apologize
  • bucky: your date would've wondered where you went, I found you for her
  • steve: you lied and told me you only knew me because of the smithsonian because you wanted to protect me, to make me go
  • bucky: blame the brochure
  • steve: you made me share an apartment with you
  • bucky: I needed someone to do the dishes
  • steve: you kept my picture
  • bucky: memory problems remember?
  • steve: you didn't like it when I kissed sharon, I can tell your fake smile from your real one
  • bucky: you were wasting valuable time
  • steve: you put yourself back into cryo so I'd stop being reckless and not become a criminal just to keep you
  • bucky: I was tired
  • steve: you made a vow, told me you'd be with me until death
  • bucky: idk why I did that
  • steve: you interrupted my moment with peggy because you were jealous
  • bucky: you deserved applause and attention for your bravery
  • steve: you fell from the train because you were protecting me
  • bucky: wasn't my smartest move
  • steve: you gave me heart eyes at the bar in '43
  • bucky: I was drunk
  • steve: we shared money and everything else like...a couple
  • bucky: it was convenient
  • steve: you're in love with me
  • bucky: yes
  • steve: what
  • bucky: what
The sorcerer who cried ghost

So, this little misadventure begins with my group doing the Village of Whitwick one shot (I was a player this time). We had been investigating around town and had found a place to stake out as well as been gifted a silver dagger (which had been promptly claimed by the sorcerer). We waited for quite some time until the thing we were trying to find snatched a child and ran to the nearby woods with it. Naturally, my self as a Halfling fighter and the others, a blood hunter, a ranger and the chaotic evil/stupid sorcerer began to give chase.

Our DM had the creature lure us into an ambush by chaining the child to what seemed to be a ritual rock, blood stains with the chains buried into the ground. The sorcerer begins trying to free the child as the rest of us fight off the creature. After a few failed attempts and a few rounds of combat, the sorcerer is out of ideas when the blood hunter shouts “The knife!”.

Anyone, literally anyone else would have thought ‘Oh, right! We think the knife will hurt it because it was gifted to us, so let’s use it!’. However, this sorcerer says “Right!” and proceeds to STAB THE CHILD IN THE HEART, MURDERING IT IN COLD BLOOD. She even decided to wipe the blade clean and hide it like nothing had happened. Not even the worst part, as after the creature ran our characters turned around asking how the hell this had happened, her excuse? “It was a sspppooookkkyyy gghhooossstttt.” She got a critical hit on her bluff check and we all failed, thus successfully pinning the murder of a helpless child on a non-existent, very spooky ghost.

Haise’s Birthday Poem begins with the lines [x]:

“Someone said this:
“Even if you have no memories of being loved, for as long as you have memories of loving someone, you can continue to live.”

…But how is someone who has never been loved be capable of loving someone else?

A child who wasn’t able to receive the minimal love they required at the time they needed it the most will continue to gaze at the illusion of affection and never know how to love until the day they die.

Well, how about me? Can I continue to live?”

Furuta grew up without love, surrounded by the products of Tsuneyoshi’s fucked up harem. The only person who seems to have shown any affection at all for him, as seen in the flashback in this chapter, is Rize. Rize who cared if he died when she ate him. Rize who played with him. Rize, whose fate he was fully aware of. Who he saved, because at some point, or maybe deep down still, he understood that that fate is wrong. She was the only thing he had, and he let her go, for her sake.

In this explanation to Kaneki, he mentions explicitly that as a child, he had these childish ideas of love and marriage in the future for them. Things he gave up for her safety from the men of the main Washuu house.

Even when he’s being crude and creepy, talking about Rize having all of those children for him, he references 101 Dalmatians. A Disney movie. And one with some of the healthiest romances, both between the dogs and the humans.

Even now, he’s looking at a Disney movie where two dogs snuggle each other. Where these two dogs have 15 puppies who they risk their lives to save. And who adopt 84 other puppies who would otherwise be dead. When you think about him as someone who grew up surrounded by who knows how many half-siblings, in the Garden like he did - this is basically him saying he wants a Disney Romance.

Which is not to say that the way he’s speaking isn’t terrible. That the tropes he’s using aren’t horrible and misogynistic. They are. Furuta, as he always has, is falling back on farce and drama, on systems of power that he himself as already explicitly told you he condemns. Furuta switches between honest and lying, between truth and exaggeration, between real emotion and fake dramatic flare over and over.

He speaks in this weird mix between a cynical jaded, crude adult, and a desperate, sad, idealistic, stubborn child. Like with his big speech to Eto about V in 66, I think this chapter he is mixing truth and fiction. Sometimes strategically, sometimes just because.

@linkspooky​ pointed out to me that it almost seems that the more honest he’s being, the less of his face is shown. Times when he’s really approaching sincerity and seriousness, he’s shown from the side.

Where as most of the time, he’s hidden under his flare and his masks and his drama.

Furuta, for all his fake emotion, is clearly uncomfortable with the real thing. Uncomfortable when people make him feel things and uncomfortable expressing emotion. Uncomfortable and unskilled and really parsing it.

Instead, he falls back on theatre and performance and lies.

When he says he couldn’t bare the thought of her having a kid after being free for so long… was he talking (just) about jealousy, or was he talking about the fact that the CCG, and thus V, was gaining on her - had almost captured her in the 6th ward and gotten Shachi in the struggle, and was well on their way to tracking her down again? Was he talking about not wanting her to be free, or about after all that time, still not being able to accept the idea of her being recaptured by V and used by the Washuu men like that.

He used her too, of course - and brutally. I think he was mad at her not only for wasting the freedom he helped her win, for almost getting caught again - but also because he still cares. And he doesn’t want to still care about her. So he punished her for his own feelings. Furuta is… not a fan of his own feelings. And he’s childish.

Its not an excuse for what he did to her, but I do think he acted when he did, if not the way he did, because if he hadn’t, there was a very real chance she’d have returned to her old fate. And that, he could not abide. Even now.

What he did, to Rize, in taking her power and undergoing that surgery himself, in killing off all the Washuu, taking leadership of the CCG - he gives multiple reasons for it even in this one conversation with Kaneki. On the one hand, in his proposal to Kaneki, he sets up a clear role for himself - as a villain to unite ghouls and humans against (Kaneki’s team, rather than the CCG and Clowns in this case) and introduces it as a big production, culminating in his own, rather than Kaneki’s death - ever suicidal as he is.

But explicitly, he also claims that people don’t need reasons for what they do. He also claims that he is doing what he wants to do, and that he is doing what he wanted to do as a child.

I think all of these have a grain of truth to them. He talks in such a way that mixes narratives, mixes truth and fiction, and sometimes just because its easier to talk with (half)fake emotion than real ones.

I think that Furuta, the nearly 6 year old child wants to destroy the toxic terrible “family” that used and abused him, and create in its place a 101 Dalmations style family, with him and Rize as Pongo and Perdita. A big loving, new Washuu family. This part of Furuta doesn’t care about ghouls or humans or Kaneki Ken or Eto Yoshimura or any of that at all.

But Furuta is also an adult, and became one probably much too quickly, if he knew what awaited Rize and helped her escape because if it. And the Adult Furuta knows he can’t have any of that. That Rize forgot about him and doesn’t love him back and that he burned that bridge by dropping those beams. His children with her are going to be via Kanou. Anything new will be born from death and fire and war. Adult Furuta has plans. Adult Furuta wants.…something… out of all of this. Some grand finale.

Part of Furuta is still that child - still wants Rize to come back to him and love him and play with him (and maybe kill him). Wants a big happy Disney ending for them. But he also knows he can never really have that. He’s known that he could never have that, because of how he was born. That’s the irony of that line, about the life he has and how he might as well. Because he was born to NEVER get what he wanted, ever. (And yet - and yet he fights back - viciously and endlessly and savagely, despite being born only to serve.) Because he has grown up now, and he’s done terrible things, and he knows that that happiness is impossible. But he’s also 6 years old and desperate and lonely.

I personally have thought for a long time that Rize is being set up as the one who will kill Furuta. I just hope (though I don’t necessarily expect) that they will get a chance to talk before it happens, or when he’s dying, or something. A chance for him to thank her for finally killing him, after all this time. A chance for him to say sorry, or not to - to say he’s glad he did it if it ended there, with him dying in her arms.

I still don’t think Furuta thinks any way about women, in general, though I understand why people see this pattern. It’s certainly a power structure highlighted by his character, either way. I think he probably has a good deal of the background misogyny of the culture and of the Washuu clan in his upbringing, but he also has a deep seeded hatred for everything about that upbringing. His understanding of things is so twisted and bent around this terrible place he was raised in, and the world he was forced to live in, that its honestly a miracle he’s still fighting for something different.

But Furuta sees every structure as a farce, as a mask, as a tool, rather than a truth. And he plays with these tropes of misogyny and discards them just as quickly. He’s making himself out to be a villain, to be crude, to be cruel. And it’s no excuse for his actions - for the very real fate Rize suffered at his hands. But he deals with Matsumae as a failed knight and a hypocrite, not as a woman. He plays with misogyny and its masks and its power system when he’s mock-flirting with Eto, but the next second he throws it away. He has no regard for masculinity or its virtues. Its a game to him. And that is a nasty and dangerous way to look at a very serious thing. Which is a great metaphor for Furuta who sees farce in everything. And is setting up a grand theater with all of Tokyo as its stage, possibly to write his own death into the final act.

“When I unveil this, won’t you come play with me?” He knows what Kaneki wants. He knows who Kaneki will save. He knows who Kaneki will kill. He still wants to die, and he seems to like the idea of dying to make things better, in a sense. And still, he’s speaking like a child. Come play, Kaneki. 

“Doesn’t it make you want to die?
If you die, you can get cured you know. (This is true.)



So if you were planning on giving me something.
In this year, I want four times more of that love or hate.



PS: (Laugh, it’s fun!)” [x]

OKAY BUT IMAGINE THIS

EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FINE(unrealistic I know) AND JOHN AND ROSIE MOVE IN WITH SHERLOCK IN BAKER STREET WHERE SHE’S RAISED

BUT INSTEAD OF ROSIE’S FIRST WORDS BEING TOWARDS HER DADS

SHE SAYS “GRAMMA” AS SHE REACHES FOR MRS HUDSONS BLOUSE