youre not a piece of poop

The Eurovision Crash Course.

Made by an American for other Americans.

So if you have European internet friend or follow blogs run by Europeans, chances are you’ll be come across a lot posts about Eurovision

But what exactly is Eurovision?

I’m sure you’ve already gotten a lot of sarcastic answers, so here’s a quick free crash course in this crazy cultural phenomenon.

It’s a super hardcore song contest that began in 1956 as a way to unite Europe. It began with about seven countries back when TV was just starting to become a thing. It has since expanded to included most of Europe and a number neighboring countries.

Oh, and as of 2015, Australia is one of the contestants too. And it’s one of the most widely watched non-sporting events ever. But never ask a European why America hasn’t been invited. There’s a fairly high chance they’d rather die than have us there to ruin it.

Okay, that’s cool and all, but how exactly does it work?

So each country sends a representative, and people vote for the best. But you can’t vote for your own country. But I’m really not sure if people-voting even matters because each country has a jury that awards points to other countries, and it’s those points that determine who wins Eurovision. Most points wins.

That’s why things can get political, even though it’s not supposed to and Eurovision was founded on the idea of unity. And why it’s possible for song to win the public televote but not the actual contest.

Now! For video examples!

The 10 most recent winners of the Eurovision Song Contest (2007 - 2016)

  • Pretty self-explanatory. Gives an adequate beginner’s taste of Eurovision performances in general. Showcases genre variety, goofiness, and a poop ton of confetti.

The Story of ESC

  • Again, pretty self-explanatory. It’s literally just learning about Eurovision: theatrical music-number style!

How to create the perfect Eurovision Performance | Tutorial

  • A bit of a satirical piece. Fun fact: every goofy thing you see on stage is a reference to an actual performance
  • And yes, the main people singing are the same singers as the other video.
  • Important references that the song makes are linked below for your convenience.

The main guy singing won for Sweden in 2015. His performance also includes dancing with cartoons!

The violin guy won for Norway in 2009. He has one of the highest final scores in Eurovision history. He’s also super talented and I love him.

The people in demon costumes won for Finland in 2006. Their song was literally called “Hard Rock Hallelujah.”

Austria set a piano on fire in 2015. And then just left it there. (It starts burning about two minutes into the song.)

Grandmas baking bread. Believe it or not, they got second!

Russia had an famous gold-medalist ice skater onstage in 2008.

And yes, that is a hamster wheel.

…you get the point. If I keep going, this list would carry on forever.

Also! Some of my personal favorites:

Again, I could go on forever, but…you know. Although, if you want more song recommendations, feel free to message me!

(Also, if you’re European and reading this, please don’t kill me. Instead, tell me how I did? And feel free to link your favorite entries too!)

The first poop ☝🏻💩was obviously 🔍👀Frank. Old 🙇🏻🍺and weak, he had an accident🙅🏻‍♂️❌, that’s why he was so intent on destroying🔥💥 it. There were many turds💩💩 before this one❓1️⃣, weren’t there Frank😒🤡? This was just the first time👆🏻🚨🚨 you got caught, wasn’t it🗣? And then you went and did it again the next night🌚🚨? Or did you❓🙅🏻‍♂️? Two poops 💩💩 in two nights🌚🌚? Tall order⏫👆🏻for such a short⏬👇🏻 man. No! The second poop 💩2️⃣belonged to Charles🐱🚽. He wanted to get back at Frank⚠️😡, but due to his poor diet🍭🧀, couldn’t produce a turd🍑❌. So he called☎️📞 Mac, who jumped🏃🏻💨 at the chance to see 👀🔎Frank humiliated one 🥇1️⃣more time. But Charlie overlooked 🙈🙉the fact that Dennis listens 👂🏻👂🏻to Mac’s phone calls🏋🏻‍♀️📞 and he heard every word🗣👂🏻. Dennis was jealous 😒🙃 that Charlie had chosen Mac 🏋🏻‍♀️⭕️to help instead of him. He swore🗯💱 to have his revenge😤😡. That’s why he👤 encouraged Mac to sleep 💤 😴while he stayed up👁⬆️. He was going to put the frame on Mac 🍆🏋🏻‍♀️by pooping💩💩 next to him! But he didn’t realize 🙈💭that a futon 🛋🛌slept on by the weight of three 👱🏻👱🏻👱🏻men would be off its axis ➗✖️and slope 〰to the center⬇️⬇️, and like a small👇🏻👐🏻 brown snail🐌🐌 it crept to the middle between Charlie 🙀and Frank👹. Deandra🦉🐔! You wanted in on this poop war 💩🔫⚔️from the start. The outcast👤? The slut👅? The bitch💅🏻? The whore💦? The lonely😩, sad 😭, slutty💦💦, bitchy 😑whore🍆. You sat 🛋😌on the sidelines while these four 4️⃣🚹titans battled 🗡🔫💣it out. you were jealous 😒😒 that a few pieces of poop 💩💦got more attention 👀👀than you. That’s why when the lights went out🌘🌚, you unleashed some thunder ⚡️⚡️of your own. Thunder⚡️ of the chocolate🍫⚡️ variety.

That Special Time of the Month

Originally posted by antisepticdark

Summary: Fem!Reader wakes up to find that her period came during the night and now she has to deal with the guys being annoying at the office… Well mainly just Mark. Hope you guys like!

A/N: Hello! I wrote a fic, and trust me its not very good and it’s waaay longer than it needs to be. Be gentle, I’m new to the whole posting my writing thing. Also! I speak fluent Spanish so i used some slang in the fic!
“No mames”- Spanish slang/curse for “no way”/“no fucking way”
“Sentida”- Spanish for upset or offended (in this context reader is sad)
Lastly there’s a text conversation in the fic so ‘-’ is Ethan and ‘=‘ is Tyler.

Wordcount: like +2k I’m sorry this is too long bye

Requests are open? This is no good so I don’t know why anyone would be requesting but yeah you can do that if you want. Hope you guys enjoy!

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Pike’s poem

Here lies Scanlan the Bard,
a gnome who sang soft but died hard.
To anyone who hears us, both far and wide,
bring us back our dirty friend,
at least one more time.

He may not be tall or brute or rough,
he may be little, but his heart is buff.
We are a party, and every party needs a clown;
without our friend to rein us in,
we’ll burn down your whole fucking town.

You see, I love this gnome very much,
he’s small like me, but he’s touched.
He’s raided and slain,
he’s pooped while he sang, but if he’s gone
forever, I won’t be the same.

Now that he’s learned he’s a dad,
the journey that all of us had,
cannot be in vain–will not be in waste.
Please, Scanlan, open your eyes,
and see your daughter’s face.

Piece Dude!

so as you may have guess from screen shots, the Legend of Bumbo revolves around a very familiar core mechanic when it comes to combat, a match x puzzle game formula. 

im Bumbo the formula is a match 4 setup that revolves around the “movement points” that you have based on your characters dexterity… but we will cover all this, along with combat in a later post.

what today’s post is about is the 6 main puzzle pieces, how they are used and how they play into the games theme.

thematically Bumbo arranging these pieces of garbage/remains is a play off of the black arts. rearranging entrails and bodily fluids into specific patterns to cast spells and curse your enemies is really whats going down here… but they look cute so most will forget about this theme quickly enough.

in Bumbo matching 4+ of any specific colored piece will instantly remove them and give you a specific amount of colored mana equal to the number of pieces removed. this mana can then be used to activate spells/items you start with and collect along your journey, but each specific piece will also combine to become a “puzzle spell”. 

Puzzle spells are specific for each piece type and will grow in power the higher number of pieces you combine to create them. (ie. matching 4 bones will combine them into a low damage femur bone that is thrown at a specific enemy. combining 6 will create a skull and going above and beyond will summon a giant skeletal demon to rain hell down on everything in the room!)

here is a basic break down of each piece and its purpose.

Bones- white mana - offensive

matching 4 bones will create a thrown femur bone that can target one enemy doing minor damage.

Teeth-  Black mana - offensive

matching 4 teeth will create a large dead tooth that can be thrown at specific enemies much like bones. 

Hearts - red mana - defensive 

matching 4 hearts will heal your character by ½ a heart.

Poop - brown mana - defensive 

matching 4 poops will create a small poop wall that can withstand one attack from an enemy before being destroyed.

Booger - green mana - defensive

matching 4 boogers will create a large snot ball that can be thrown at enemies to immobilize and negate their attacks.

Pee- yellow mana - wild card

matching 4 pee drops will give the player +1 movement point to use for this turn, but can also be utilized to charge items.

each character starts with mana specific items that push the player to explore different strategies puzzle wise, and each found items mana activation cost will rarely be the same, forcing the player to use many different tactics not only when it comes to how they approach enemies but also how they interact with each puzzle board. 

there are quite a few other puzzle pieces we will go over later, but these are the meat and potatoes of what you will be working with, especially in the games early chapters.

in my next post ill talk about items and combat ( the fun stuff! ) and maybe you’ll start to get a better idea of how bumbo and isaac connect… 

till next time! 

*Preview* (to be continued...)

Future Genre(s):  Smut, Fluff, Angssst.

People: Y/n (you) x Kim Taehyung.

As a single mom who has worked her way up to the top in the broadcasting world, how exactly will you react when one of the most popular boys in K-Pop starts to take interest in your personal life? Better yet, when he wants to become more than just a boy, but a man towards you.

Keep reading

‘shit my brother has said / done’ sentence meme.
  • ❛  how dare this light make me wait. ME. ❜ 
  • ❛ they’re just jealous because i’m so beautiful. ❜ 
  • ❛ wot? you wonna go? i’ll fight ya, ya dirty wanka. ❜ 
  • ❛ oop i’m going to have to poop later! ❜ 
  • ❛ just grab the fucking rope you piece of shit! ❜ 
  • *lays head on your shoulder*
  • ❛ I was not made for the mountains. fuckin’ wendingos man. ❜
  • ❛ why the fuck is it so cold?! ❜
  • ❛ that’s not very ladylike. you’re not very ladylike. ❜
  • ❛ why couldn’t you have been a boy? I’ve always wanted a brother. ❜
  • ❛ sometimes I literally just want to shake the stupidity out of people. ❜
  • ❛ I’m losing brain cells just being here please save me. ❜
  • ❛ why the fuck aren’t you grabbing it? just grab it! ❜
  •  ❛ I can’t. I just… can’t. ❜
  • ❛ ____ It’s dark and I hear laughing. ❜
  • *tries to fight you*
  • *drunkenly tickles you*
  • ❛ One of these days I’m going to raise a dog army in the forests of Canada and unleash hell upon America. ❜
  • ❛ please refrain yourself. ❜
  • ❛  sh-sh-shut the fuck up. just shut the fuck up. ❜
  • ❛ I have. to. pee. ❜
  • *lays on you and refuses to move*

anonymous asked:

#26 symmetra and pharah

Okay since it’s march, I’m probably going to switch gears and put out a different prompt list, but I feel like this one’s a good note to end on for the Valentine’s day prompts. I think I’m going to do something different this time and have the first couple paragraphs of the fic out for a preview, and then the rest under a cut.

26. Date gone completely awry


“So charming,” said Ana, straightening Pharah’s tie and collar. “Oh—hold on.” She grabbed a loose eyelash that was on Pharah’s cheekbone, then thumbed away the specs of mascara that were there behind it. She took a few steps back. “Okay, now stand up straight.” Pharah scoffed and smiled a little and straightened her back and struck a bit of a pose. Ana covered her mouth with her hands and her one remaining eye sparkled. “Oh ḥabībtá,” she said, and then gasped a little, “Reinhardt can you—?” Reinhardt was at her side in a second, handing her a camera.

“Mum,” Pharah said with a roll of her eyes, as Ana took pictures of her, “I’ve been on dates before.”

“And I’ve missed so many of them,” said Ana, taking another picture, “Let me be an old fool.”

Pharah snorted and folded her arms, “You keep making a big deal of this and you’re going to jinx it,” she said, with a grin.

“Fareeha—-you don’t still believe in that silly curse, do you?” said Ana.

“Curse?” said D.Va as Reinhardt took his seat back across from her at the virtu-Chess board.

“Oh mum don’t tell them about the—” Pharah started.

“It started back when she was 14,” said Ana and Pharah slapped her forehead.

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So today this seven year-old girl comes out of the school washroom looking very pleased with herself. She skips up to me and, pointing to her braids, says, “Look! I fixed my hair so that this piece is *here* and this piece is *here*!” She heads back to class when all of a sudden she stops, gets wide-eyed, and says, “I FORGOT TO POOP” and runs back into the washroom.

Be nosy, ask shit

Would you rather…

  1. Lose your sight or your hearing
  2. Break your arm or break your leg
  3. Get run over by a train or by a truck
  4. Drink a glass of sea water or canal water
  5. Get shot by a gun or by an arrow
  6. Eat a dog or a rat
  7. See a ghost or an alien
  8. Go to jail for 30 years or die
  9. Go to the beach or the countryside
  10. Go to the pub or to the club
  11. Watch an action movie or comedy
  12. Be permanently bald or have 
  13. Be poor and happy or rich and unhappy
  14. Be able to stop time or fly
  15. Be gossipied about or never talked about at all
  16. Love and not be loved back or be loved but never love
  17. Go one normal day naked or fall asleep for a year
  18. Be a child or an adult for the rest of your life
  19. Be human or be immortal
  20. Be able to fly or have an invisibility cloak
  21. Talk in a very deep voice or in a high pitched voice
  22. Be a vampire or a ghost
  23. Get a tattoo on your face or metal spikes in your  head
  24. Eat a small can of cat foodor eat 7 lemons
  25. Not be allowed to wash your hands for a month or your hair
  26. Have a llittle green piece of spinach stuck between your front teeth or a booger in your nose that moves when you breathe
  27. Learn to walk or write all over again 
  28. Lose your wallet or lose your keys
  29. Eat ice cream flavored poop or poop flavored ice cream
  30. Live with Hitler for 3 years or with Saddam Hussein
  31. Age only from the neck up or from the neck down
  32. Speak all foreign languages or be able to talk to animals
  33. Live in a home without electricity or without water
  34. Drink 1lt of ketchup or mustard
  35. Have a zombie apoccalypse or World War III
  36. Drink a cup of spoiled milk or pee your pants in public
  37. Know the date of your death or the cause of your death
  38. Be the richest person in the planet or be immortal
  39. Kill somebody to save a family member or let your loved one die
  40. Kiss a 65 year old men or a 7 year old boy

anonymous asked:

Hiii how about 47 w mino?

Originally posted by myouiminas

Song Minho: “I’ve told you a million times to watch your language and now every time you’re around me you stop and say the most random things.  Just stop, that sounds stupid!

Swearing, never in her entire life had she had a problem with cussing, it seemed like it was something normal for most people and if it didn’t damage anyone’s wellbeing, then it was okay to saw one or two swear words here and there but when it became a habit…she thought it was necessary to stop. Minho was an incredible boyfriend, much more after the two had moved in together, even when people said that it would only lead to fights and arguments, things remained as well as when they were at the beginning of their relationship, but she noticed how he spoke so freely with swear words. Not that she minded, until she had heard enough and an idea had appeared inside her mind. It seemed like one thing that remained untouchable in their relationship was the sudden need of competing with one another in stupid bets, so she simply sipped on her drink as the man had spoke, her legs over his as the two watched TV.

“Minho,” The way she said his name has always interested him, it was a mixture between love and affection and it made his heart melt, but now there was a new spark to the mixture and it was a challenge. The man runs his hands through his hair –that had been dyed a green shade- and nods his head, too tired of even speaking after a long day at work. But he’s not tired for shouting ‘fuck you!’ at a character in their favorite show, she thinks. “I have an idea.”

“What kind of idea?”

“A good kind.”

“Every time I say that it means that it’s a not-so-good idea so I’ll believe that because you’re my girlfriend, you have certain similarities to me and I’ll doubt your response.” Minho’s sentence makes her mouth widen as she looks at him, blinking her eyes slowly before he chuckled loudly, placing his hand over her thigh as his shoulders shook. “Go ahead, babe, I am just joking…shit…”

“That’s the thing!” She exclaims and Minho frowns, rubbing the back of his neck for a mere second.

“What…thing…?” Minho asks softly and the lost look over his features was one that she would’ve expected from Jinwoo, always too pure and lost, but it was Song Minho, the dumb guy that could turn into the devil when he started rapping. “I seriously don’t understand.”

“You swear as if your life depended on it.” She comments and Minho looks up for a second before nodding his head. He was always pretty honest with himself.

“I do,”

“That’s right.”

“But it’s not like you don’t as well.” Minho comments before pressing his finger to her nose, tapping it lightly before seeing her scrunch it up cutely.

“Whatever,” She comments simply before placing a sweet kiss to his cheek before being a competitive piece of shit with him. “But I dare you to not say a single swear word for about a week.  I’ll make sure that you don’t say them at work by asking Seungyoon.” Shit, Seungyoon could be a good friend but he was one to support their constant dares and whatnot, he was a pretty good judge as well. Minho nods his head proudly, shaking her hand before placing his arms behind his head. She felt confident…Minho couldn’t spend an hour without swearing and she would win, not that she would win anything…but pride was always important. “I’ll win.”

“You thought, you little piece of poop.”

“Piece of what…?” She asks before laughing embarrassedly, making Minho have a smile over his features as his eyes close. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard your say.”

“There’s a lot more to come, darling.” He says that as he presses a sweet kiss to her lips and she sighs.

She naturally expected it from it and dumber things came her way.

anonymous asked:

what's your process for writing fic? and do you have any tips for someone who's looking to start writing?

I’d love to answer this all inspirational and magically and jazz, but I fear I must be honest, especially since at the moment I am in a writing slump. 

I have two modes of writing. I’ll present the ‘good’/’healthy’ one first:

  1. Get a general idea of what you fancy writing/a prompt someone has given you in your head.
  2. Go on a dog walk / do something physical (that can be just having a bath if you want, or yoga, or sprinting, anything that doesn’t require too much concentration) and keep that idea in mind. You don’t have to actively scrounge for ideas on it, but just keep it in the back of your head. Maybe listen to music, or a podcast. I personally love listening to podcasts about fanfic, or podfic - during the lulls in those, I tend to find my mind wonders from them to planning my fic, or even gets inspired by whatever I’m listening too. This may work better for some people in silence, but it gives your idea a chance to stew or develop.
  3. Whatever you first idea is, consider how you can change it and reshape it to make it a stronger story, or one you’d prefer to read/write. Often our first ideas are the most generic/boring, (although this is not always the case) or just not that refined, so it’s a good idea to just take a look to see where you might improve it.
  4. Once you’re done thinking, and maybe have a couple of lines of dialogue/narration in your head that you like, sit down and write. You do not have to include ANY of your pre-existing ideas, don’t worry about it. So long as you have that initial idea of where you’re going, even if you end up somewhere completely other, it’s having something that I find gives me the confidence and muse to write.
  5. Do not worry too much about editing. This is fanfiction - it’s not meant to be perfect, there’s no Board of Quality Control etc. If you’re inclined to have a very good technical piece of work, go back after you’ve finished and edit. Rewrite if you feel like you want to, but whilst writing the first draft, write something you enjoy. That’s the joy of fanfiction to me. If you’re trying to do a critical/meta/intellectual commentary piece this may vary, but for smut and fluff and shit, if you enjoy it, chances are someone else will too. 
  6. If you’re stuck for ideas, consider what elements of your favorite movies/stories/fanfics you like, then apply them to your ships/characters. Come up with ways to subvert expectations and play around with character traits/preconceptions. Honestly, it’s wicked fun.

The second method is much more unreliable and yet I fall so hard into it so often:

  • Get randomly really obsessed with a concept that just seems to have been pooped out by your brain cells
  • Try to write other requested fic and fail because all you can think about is cam boy!Lucien, or something like that.

  • Eventually promise yourself you’ll start writing your to do list fic once you’ve just snuck out a couple hundred words of your brain-demon-baby fic.

  • Accidentally fail upwards and write 5k+ of a really fandom fic that you love but that the fandom does not give a flying crap about nor want. 

  • Cry

grasshoppa  asked:

I'm honestly shocked that anyone would have the nerve to say something so rude despite collaborating on a zine together. I recently followed your blog and I thought your works were one of the funniest, clever, heartwarming pieces I had the pleasure of reading. Like, you wrote about pooping and farting for God sake! I never saw anything like that on any other blog but it got me howling with laughter! Don't listen to people like that because I think you're wonderful as you are :]

This means so much to me, thank you. Sometimes it’s really hard not to let it get to you…but when I see all of the kind messages like this it reminds me to keep doing what I’m doing so thank you very much. 

Hood Rich - Pink Guy, GETTER, Nick Colletti

[Intro: Pink Guy]
(Yeah) X4
Y'all know what it is
You know what the fuck it is

[Verse 1: Pink Guy]
I just fucked a bitch with another bitch
Put a knife to her throat and I took her shit
Motherfuckers wanna get lit with the pink
But I tell her mgotta let me put the finger in the stink’
I’m all about the zinc and the copper
I only do feds no coppers
Labels trying to hit me with the “Go go”
I'mma have to say “No no”
I'mma have to hit them with the low blow, ya ya
Money on the phone but I’m broke
I only take bars and the ganj, no dope
I just love pussy not the girl that it’s attached to
Shit smell like tuna and the cat food
I don’t even want to see her face just give me dome
Oh my lord, I'mma have to run like Google Chrome
Why you always got to say that mean shit?
‘Cause I’m a pink cunt, it don’t mean shit

[Interlude: Getter]
Man, Pink guy’s a little bitch mane
Just getting it up

Aye aye aye
It’s motherfucking Getter bitch
I’m the human fucking green screen
With the ?
Never wrapped my willy but I let her
Chase my dick down
Have her eat it with some pepper
I said fuck school and I dipped quick
'Cause they fucked my shit
Caught me sucking dicks in the bathroom with a bitch
But detention was lit, oh shit
Remember Miss Baker with the fat ass tits?
And the fat ass lips with the banging ass hips
Make her grab you by the dick
Rip her bit in two
Make her wonder why she didn’t pass you
By putting your piece in the poop shoot
Dude, just kidding
I’m just an EDM dude on cam with the pink man and Colletti
Shoot a dude, confetti
Only skinny Betties
Now I’m looking for the ? in an Audi ?

[Verse 3: Nick Colletti]
Viner of the month
Always smoking blunts
Always on Twitter
If she bad she know I’m fucking with her
I’m from the 'Burg, I’m in Cali though
Got kush cold cunt in my bungalow
Don’t dress myself, had your bitch do it
Don’t stress too much, ain’t a thing to it
Yo I’m 22 and I’m hood rich
Date a church girl, she a good bitch
She a psych major, that’s good head
When she bring her friend I fuck her friend instead
I’m in Malibu eating rich cunt
Fuck bongs bro, we smoke big blunts
And that’s all day and we cashing out

[Outro: Yelling]
You don’t know shit about Pink Guy!
You don’t know shit about Getter!
You don’t know shit about Nick Colletti!
Get off Vine!
Get of Twitter!
Get off Youtube!
You stupid bitch!
You stupid fucking bitch!
God dammit (echoes till fade out)

OMG THANK YOU VERY MUCH here is your (not quite) Obaby-Wan 

(deaged!Obi traveled forth into the future with Qui-Gon’s Force Ghost as cameo because why not? And thank you guys for giving swpromptsandasks lovely ideas about time travel!Obi-Wan and of course, many thanks to the mods for writing lots of beautiful pieces, those have saved my life) 

when luffy finds marco probably
  • luffy: youre that pineapple bird
  • marco: im not a pineapple bird
  • luffy: so you're just a pineapple
  • marco: no im not a pineapple
  • luffy: but you just said you werent a bird either make up your damn mind you asswagon
  • marco: im a phoenix
  • luffy: so a pineapple phoenix
  • marco:
  • marco:
  • marco:
  • luffy: can you poop
Busted ~ Part 1

Shawn Mendes
Words ~ 700
Warnings ~ Swearing
Request ~ Hi love your stories so much!! ❤️❤️ could you write one you and Shawn have a secret relationship and like the crew doesn’t know about it because you guys keep putting yourself in situations where you almost get caught until the point u do get caught? Haha thannks xx

Note ~ Sorry this is a piece of poop, but I haven’t posted all weekend so needed to get something out and I still have a bunch of school work to do (It started out so promising, I don’t know what happened!) Hopefully the next part will be better :D

“Shawn, I need to leave.” I giggled quietly but his arm only tightened around me, drawing me closer until our fronts where pressed flush together. A brief ‘no’ followed by a slur of incomprehensible mumbles as he burrowed his head under my chin.

“Don’t leave.” He whined sleepily when he felt me trying to move away. Another small sound escaped as I ran my fingers through his fluffy bed hair, lightly scratching at his scalp knowing that it relaxes him. If I could get him back to sleep I could leave the room without any more complaints.

I pressed a kiss against his head, “I don’t want to leave, but someone will catch us if I don’t.” I giggled again, remembering how Jon walk in yesterday morning to, catching us in bed together. Luckily, he didn’t walk in a few minutes earlier otherwise that would have been very awkward.

“Five more minutes.” Shawn pleaded, pulling back just enough to look at me with half opened eyes.

I was about to decline but then he wiggled his way onto my pillow. Our inches away from each other as his arms around my waist tightened, trapping me. His lips brushed over mine for a short second, then again, and again. I pushed at his chest softly, not wanting to start a make out session at four in the morning.

“Okay.” Shawn smiled, his eyes instantly falling shut again, small snores escaped his parted lips.

It became real difficult to keep my own eyes open. I kept myself entertained by tracing shapes along his arm, but the repetitive motion didn’t help my case. My gaze landed on my boyfriend’s sleeping face and he looked so relaxed, something that was rare to see when he was on tour. It made me happy to see him like this.

My eyes snapped open as warm light shone against my face. A loud knock echoed through the room. Shit.

“Shawn, wake up.” I whispered while attempting to shake awake the snoring log next to me. Another knock, this time more aggressive. I sat up and scanned the room until I spotted a bottle of water on the bedside table.


“What the hell was that for?” Shawn spat as he shot up, water dripped from his hair and face. His eyes winded at the knocking.

“Shawn, you have two seconds to open this door or I’m coming in.” Even with the door between us, Jon’s voice still rang loud and clear, and it still made me shit my pants.

Shawn let out a quiet laugh as I jumped. He gave me a quick peck on the lips before leaping from the bed and pulled on a pair of jogging bottoms. I slid into the bathroom as Shawn opened the door. Not the best place to hide, but it was better than nothing, I guess.

“Why is your hair wet?”

“I was taking a shower…”

“Sure you were. Where’s Alex hiding?”

She’s not here…“

"You’re a terrible liar. I went to her room and no one answered. Look, I know something is going on between you two and I really don’t care. I’m just here to keep you safe. Just don’t let Andrew find out. He’ll end up telling the label and they’ll blow their shit. Anyway, tell your girlfriend we have ten minutes before we leave.”

A few more words were exchanged before the door slammed shut. I emerged from the bathroom and was greeted by my very smiley boyfriend.

"I thought you were leaving.” Shawn laughed and circled his arms around my waist, swaying us from side to side as he leaned down to peck my lips.

“Sorry, but who wanted me to stay?” I joked and pushed him away, “I’m gonna get changed. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Shawn caught my arm as I walked away, tugging me back so our bodies were pressed together. His hands cradled my cheek as our lips collided. And as much as I loved this, I really needed to get ready.

Giggling, I finally broke away as Shawn’s hands slid down to my waist and up my shirt, “Just get ready Mendes.”

Part 2