Your Princess Is in Another Castle: Misogyny, Entitlement, and Nerds

But the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to “earn,” to “win.” That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we’ll get the girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well.

The relationship between this week’s mass shooting and misogyny in tech, by Arthur Chu. HIGHLY recommended reading.

via Anil

A lesson in owning your kidnappers, by Agatha Heterodyne.

Another reason I fucking LOVE this comic is how they completely subvert the princess in a tower trope. Agatha gets kidnapped A LOT and EVERY TIME it happens, the kidnapper ends up getting OWNED, BIG TIME and regretting their decision to fuck with her. This sort of shit happens without fail. Klaus took her captive, and she ended up beating back the wasp engine aboard Castle Wulfenbach and escaping in a commandeered airship, basically leaving Castle Wulfenbach in chaos. When the Sturmvoraus Family takes her hostage, she ends up mentally overcoming the being they forced into her head, completely wrecking their city, making the heir (and Storm King) fall madly in love with her, fighting her way out and getting to her city. When Martellus von Blitzengaard took her captive and injected her with a serum that gave her biological dependence on his immediate presence, she clobbered him over the head, altered his work so that she became dependent on a weasel instead, then broke out of his family’s fortress with a mechanical swan/deer sleigh that had literal flying pigs and SHOT LASERS OUT OF ITS MOUTH. 

Now she’s about to take over Paris with the very tech her kidnapper stole from her family. Just… All of Paris. Hers now. 

Everyone is always trying to kidnap Agatha, and the ones who manage to actually get to her ALWAYS end up getting their shit destroyed by the very woman they were trying to control. Fuck, even Lucrezia, the mind-control prodigy who literally had her consciousness injected into Agatha’s brain, can’t hold this girl down. 

Here is what happens when you kidnap Agatha Heterodyne:

1) Your shit gets wrecked

2) She learns something about your personality, your resources, and your tech that she can easily use against you

3) She gets away with some sort of new advantage that will make your life 80% more difficult for the foreseeable future.


Your Princess Is In Another Castle

We all know the story of Mario and his voyage to save Princess Peach from Bowser’s castle, where he holds her captive while his Koopa minions terrorize Mushroom Kingdom. Navigating through each stage by carefully timing jumps and leaps, stomping on Koopa Troopa’s and achieving the highest coin acquisition possible, you finally arrive at one of Bowser’s many, many castles. After putting his shelled turtle-ass in its place, you’re told that your princess is in another castle. Of course, you have no choice but to continue on with your mission to rescue Princess Peach and prevent Bowser from conquering Mushroom Kingdom. The princess, the hero, the bad guy and his army, the typical white knight story.

What I am about to do is use this story to reference long distance relationships. It is a stretch, but I think it may be effective in delivering exactly what I am trying to put into words. Lets assume each of us has a soul, some powerful energy that grants you the will to live and love. Imagine the possibility that through millennial death and reproduction, the wheel to the cycle of life, that energy diffused and became encapsulated within multiple bodies. In other words, your soul became ramified, creating the theoretical ‘soul mate’, another person who shares the other half of you. This is only to put perspective into what I am about to imply. You may take this further and imagine pieces of your soul divided among a sea of bodies, but lets just imagine a large percentage of it assimilated into one person. Scientists continue to discover evidence of a recycled type of reincarnation, that our particles are much older than we can measure from birth. A baby born yesterday is comprised of billion(s) year old particles.

How large is the global population now? 7 billion and growing rapidly. It is unlikely that my theory holds much truth, but it is a lovely thought anyway. However, it is safe to say that there is somebody who will fit the notches in your character better than anyone else does, someone that to you stands apart from all the rest. Perhaps he or she is not anywhere near the vicinity of your current geographical location, not long ago that was as far as your soul search would be allowed to venture. Today, with our rapidly progressing technological world, the very imitation of evolution, to build and improve on ideas gradually, distance is becoming irrelevant in social interaction. With SmartPhones quickly being integrated and placed in every man, woman, and child’s pockets, we are becoming constantly connected with the world wide web and pushing global society into reality. It no longer matters if your love interest is in Japan and you’re in Texas, the only obstacle is distance, and through mutual effort it can be easily minimized. Which brings me to another point.

There is a boy or a girl that captures your attention, someone who endlessly fascinates you and you begin to find yourself idling social networks just to catch another glimpse into their lives. Other than distance and the absence of physical affection, what does this hypothetical romance lack? Is communication not the proposed most important element of any relationship? Strike up a conversation, share your memories and experiences, find similar interests, things to laugh about, philosophies and future ambitions. Use the tools at your disposal to learn of each other, before long you may find yourselves subtly flirting, causing butterflies with poetic prose, becoming romantic without even coming in contact with one another. You may not even notice it happening, but after awhile you have become integral parts of each others lives and the thought of being disconnected sounds like death. Understand that what you’ve created is a spiritual bond so strong a future together is highly probable.

This is as real as it gets folks. This is the basis of love, of companionship throughout our short lives. If you’re able to sustain a relationship purely through communicative means, how much more evidence do you need? What is more romantic than plaguing someones thoughts and dreams, reveries and creations, with nothing more than words crafted to touch and tickle the nerves surrounding the heart? Yes, there certainly is more to it than that in a synthetic world where we bend and shape our surroundings to comfort our moods. I admit that I am a romantic, that I was raised to believe in silly constructs to win somebodies heart. I recently met someone exactly like me in that regard, so I have reason to believe that the old fashioned ideology of romance can still be resuscitated, even if through a contemporary method of establishing a romantic relationship. Personally, I’m a chooser for that reason.

I firmly believe that long distance relationships are more likely to create a healthy and more viable lifetime companionship. I think the dichotomy of distance forces a test of faith and shows how committed someone is. In this particular instance, the two participants depend on personality to survive, suddenly appearance is a trivial matter, and the relationship is built systematically, proceeding from a foundation to a scaffold and eventually a stable structure. Don’t feel limited to your immediate surrounding and disregard the theory of love because nobody fits your criteria, just because love isn’t outside your front door doesn’t mean it isn’t elsewhere. True love isn’t defined as any different than a very, very close friendship. Establishing a best friend through communicative devices has a heightened chance of being much more intricate due to the way you spend time together. Continually learning the pathways to each others hearts and minds day after day may turn romantic. What you’re creating is simply an intensified friendship, as it should be.

Don’t get impatient, maybe your Princess or Prince is in another castle. Try another road.