your-face-i-like-that-shit

A woman let her dog shit on the airport floor. So I shit on her plans.

While walking to my gate at LAX, I noticed a woman whose dog was in the middle of doing its business. The woman was loudly face-timing with her back to the dog, so I assumed she didn’t notice. That was likely the thought shared by the gentleman who tried to get her attention.

“Excuse me, miss?” he said, in a polite tone. The woman glared at him. “Your dog,” he sheepishly continued, pointing to the mid-poop pup.

The woman rolled her eyes and went back to face time as the man slinked away, seemingly embarrassed.

“Some people,” she bellowed to her face-time companion with no hint of irony, “are just so damned rude.”

When her dog finished, the woman started walking away, leaving everything right on the airport floor. Another woman tried to stop her.

“You’re not going to clean that up?” she asked, as shocked as the rest of us were.

“They have people for that,” the offender replied, disappearing into the crowd, as much as someone yelling into their phone can disappear into a crowd.

I stood near the pile and warned people to walk around it while someone else got a maintenance worker’s attention. No one said anything – we were so shocked that anyone could be that horrible.

When I got to my gate, the woman was there, too. Great – we were both going to Tokyo. When I travel abroad, I get embarrassed by other Americans doing things one hundred times less embarrassing than leaving animal feces on the floor of an airport. To make it worse, her dog was now barking at everyone who walked by.

I have nothing against people flying with their dogs, I do it often. But it is a privilege I take seriously. My dog is well-trained and behaves better than most people. He certainly behaves better than that a**hole.

Speaking of a**holes, there is a pet relief area inside LAX, past security, just two gates away from where The Party Pooper let her dog go to town. It didn’t matter - she was the type of person to litter three feet from an empty garbage can.

While her dog barked at the world, the woman had moved from face-timing with no headphones to listening to music with no headphones. I don’t like to throw around the word “sociopath” but I don’t know how else I could explain just how selfish and terrible of a person she was. I’d bet her car was somewhere in long-term parking, parked across three spots with paint on the bumper from the child’s bike she hit without leaving a note.

Everyone else tried to ignore her, sitting as far away from her as they could. I am not everyone else.

I sat down right next to the horrible woman. “Are you going to London on business?” I said.

“I’m going to Tokyo,” she responded gruffly, annoyed that I interrupted her DJing.

“Oh, I said. Then you better hurry. That flight got moved to gate 53C. This is the flight to London.”

I figured I could give her a little moment of panic as payback for how terribly she was treating everyone. I didn’t predict what would happen next. She grabbed her bags and her dog in a huff, and stormed out of the gate without even checking. She was so self-involved, she didn’t notice that the monitor at our gate still said Tokyo and almost everyone at the gate was Japanese.

Based on her actions, she believed me that the flight had been moved, so she’s also an asshole for not thanking me. “Some people,” I thought as I watched her rush away from the gate without stopping her, “are just so damned rude.”

The flight to Tokyo was at gate 69A, so the 53 gates were on the other side of the next terminal. And I felt guilty knowing she probably berated some poor clerk who had to explain to her that there was no gate 53C.

I don’t know if she made it back to this flight before we took off or not, but I didn’t see her board and I don’t hear her dog. Her missing her flight was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day. Whoops.

Maybe she can re-book on another airline. I hear they have people for that.

Performance Unit accidentally touching your boobs reaction requested by anon

Jun: Being the person that he is his face would be like ‘Oh shit’ and he would be hoping that none of the members saw while apologizing at the same time.

Originally posted by withjunhui

me rn


Dino: Dino I feel like if none of the members are there he would probably be all blushy and saying sorry a lot but if the other members are there he would still act the same but he would be blushing even more because all of the members are teasing him.

Originally posted by mountean

that smile thooooo it’s so cuteeee


Hoshi: Ok so like with Hoshi he would start laughing as he’s being weirded out and he will also say sorry but like as he’s laughing or as he’s weirded out.   

Originally posted by fyhoshi

biased wreckeddddddddd


The8: The8 I feel like he would probably be the most chill out of this whole situation but then again he would also probably be weirded out af and would say sorry in the most chill voice possible or in the most weirded out voice ever.

Originally posted by minghaon

double killl biased wrecked again


Sorry if it’s shitty I am tired and I have been working on this essay that is really boring but its important for my grade so.. But With Much Love - Admin Lupe♡♡♡ im also sorry for my comments in between but then again im not lol

High Heels (Jay Park)

Originally posted by hpfanaticinfinity

Type: Angst Fluff

Request: Jay Park scenario when you visit him when he is filming mommae, and you aren’t what people expect his gf to be like, you wear baggy sweaters ‘n shit. And some of the girls make comments about you, but you don’t care, and later one of them hurt themselves really badly during filming & you make them better cause your a paramedic/nurse, and they say sorry for what they said and how Jay is lucky to be dating someone like you.


“You should have stayed home. You look tired” Jay tells you as you wave his words off of with your sweater paws. “Could be worse” you say as he cups your face “I’m gonna have chicks like crawling on everything” he says “okay” you comment with a blank face. He pulled you in for a kiss “don’t get jealous” he coos “what would I be jealous of? I’m most likely gonna die from laughter” you coo back as he smiles as he waves walking towards the set.

You heard a scoff behind you and you turned to see three barely cover girls there looking you over. Your oversized sweater you stole from Jay, leggings, and slip on sneakers must have looked lazy but you didn’t care. “Don’t you have to go rub yourselves on some guys?” you ask as they laughed walking passed you their heels clacking on the floor as they went.

~

The next hour you spent sitting on the floor against a wall watching but at the same time reading things on your phone. Random articles linked to the original one you were reading. Before a loud cry filled your ears and your body shot up off the ground. You quickly rushed over to where other people were gathered.

Jay saw you and grabbed your hand tugging you “what happened?” you asked as you quickly bent down next to the girl who was holding her ankle. She had bloody and bruised knees. “One minute she’s dancing and the next she’s on the ground” Jay said as you pulled her hands from her ankle. “Can you move it?” you asked as she shook her head. “Pick her up please” you say loudly as one of the workers rushed to help her up.

~

You were on your knees as you wrapped the girl’s ankle after you had her ice it. “Are you a doctor or something” she asks “nurse” you tell her. She nodded “even on my time off I’m fixing people up” you joke as you tensed the material over her ankle to make sure it was compressed. “I’d go to a hospital then. You should get crutches” you tell her as she nods.

“How does a nurse meet Jay Park?” she asked “late night coffee runs” you say. “So you work a lot and still visit him?” she asks as you nod. “He’s my boyfriend so I should” you tell her as you begin walking away. “I’m sorry” she calls as you quickly turn back to her “what?” you asked. “I’m sorry that I picked on you earlier. You seem like a good person. Jay’s lucky to have you” she says as you tilt your head. You thought back to earlier not really remembering what they looked like but nodded. “Its fine just don’t wear heels for a while” you say.

anonymous asked:

Archie's reaction to his girl being insecure about her stretch marks? I have a shit ton on my hips and breasts..

His face would fall once you told him about your insecurities towards your stretch marks. His eyebrows would furrow a little and his bottom lip would jut out, eyes landing on you after shaking his head. “I don’t see anything wrong with them. I love your tiger stripes.” and then he’d proceed to roar like a feline and kiss all over the marks like a dork.

anonymous asked:

I just love the medley of expressions on Quinn's face after Carrie asks him to babysit. So similar to him processing the "why" when Carrie leaves his bedside. That being said, with that medley, I think the best interpretation is that he loves knowing that she can trust him to look after Franny. Your thoughts?

Yeah, I think he was surprised and pleased that she would trust him with Franny, but I also think he was a little overcome by the magnitude of the responsibility there for a second. Like I read some, “Holy shit, I’m responsible for keeping Franny safe???” LOL

So, what did we learn from this weekend?

We learned that a giant mass protest that shuts down large streets of major cities will be met with cops on their best behavior if the protests are made up of “regular” white people. We are shown that most news organizations reported favorably and used positive rhetoric (for the most part) and nice photos of families protesting together. It was viewed in a very kind light, which is the opposite of what most major (BLM for example) protests get. 

If only there was a way to harness or organize the suburban white lady privilege into other protests. These women act as cop repellent because cops are far less likely to split Sharon from Accounts Payable’s head open or Sandy and her daughter Keighleeanne from Naperville or Susan the wife of a CEO. If more of these ladies showed up I think we could curb some of the violence that people of color face. Operation white shield or some shit like that. This is a way to use your privilege and power to back up what you say you believe in. I am just spitballing here, but man, I have never seen such lax police at such a large protest in my life. 

harry potter books rated by hinny
  • SORCERER'S/PHILOSOPHER'S STONE: ginny became the ultimate harry fangirl in .2 seconds. 8/10.
  • CHAMBER OF SECRETS: harry literally saved her life and also described her face as glowing like the setting sun what kind of poetic shit. 12/10.
  • PRISONER OF AZKABAN: the ridiculous "making eye contact and trying not to laugh when people do weird things" that they do started what kind of soul mate bullshit. ginny made him a goddamn singing get well card when will your otp. 9/10.
  • GOBLET OF FIRE: ginny started relaxing around harry and we all cried. had the opportunity to ditch neville and go with harry instead but like the Perfect Bean she is, kept her promise wtf harry marry her. 9/10.
  • ORDER OF THE PHOENIX: told off harry effin' potter like it was her JOB lbr he was attracted to it. ginny came up with the name dumbledore's army and also was never weird about harry and cho what a respectful. harry was totes in love with her but didn't know it yet. 8/10.
  • HALF BLOOD PRINCE: harry spends most of the book being an idiot and pining and we all cry. SEVERAL SUNLIT DAYS!!!!! WHAT KIND OF!!!!! GINNY JOKING ABOUT HARRY HAVING A TATTOO ON HER CHEST HAS SHE SEEN HIM SHIRTLESS TO CONFIRM?? TATTOO THIS CHAPTER ON MY CHEST!!!! they break up because they're both noble and stupid i'm gonna cry 50/10.
  • DEATHLY HALLOWS: making out in ginny's bedroom aka me sobbing. harry checking the marauder's map to make sure she's okay, hoping she can sense his gaze jesus CHRIST HARRY LITERALLY ALMOST DITCHING HIS ATTEMPTS TO KILL VOLDEMORT BECAUSE BELLATRIX TRIED TO KILL GINNY CHILL PLS!! they get married and ginny loves harry so much she allows him to make questionable name choices we all cry!!!!! 5745938467983476/10.
Imagine Castiel outing your secret relationship with him

Gif submitted by the beautiful @sortaathief

“So I had her legs wrapped around my head,” Dean’s eyes widen in delight as he recounted last night’s venture. You half listened, eyes glanced over at Castiel; who was standing over Sam as he researched on his laptop. The angel looked at you and smiled softly; you looked down to your lap, trying to hide a smirk.

“And then she did this one thing with her tongue,” Dean groaned in remembrance. You laughed and playfully shoved the hunter.

“Yeah, I heard you,” you smirked.

Keep reading

  • Me: "think I'll play a bit of Pokémon before I go to sleep, y'know, just to unwind and relax a bit."
  • Me 10 minutes later: "HOLY SHIT WHY IS LUSAMINE SUCH A CRAZY BITCH!? HOW BAD DO YOUR MOTHER ISSUES HAVE TO BE TO SAY YES MA'AM AND JUMP THRU A WORMHOLE!? are there any Pokémon who are actually affected by DREAM EATER??!also, THERE ARE WORMHOLES!?!"
The 2ps as shit my friends (and family[and me]) have said pt.  2
  • 2p America: Listen bucko I've seen more pussy in my 17 years of life than you ever will
  • 2p England: The first time I tried to cook I caught an oven mitt on fire and burned an orange. Don't ask how because I don't know either
  • 2p China: If you can't remember my name you can call me ling-ling or dumpling, I don't care
  • 2p France: I will literally break your finger if it comes any closer to my face
  • 2p Russia: *pouring 4 packets of sugar into a cup of tea* it's 6 in the morning and I went to bed at 4. I have so many regrets
  • 2p Canada: I'm going to slit the tires on my neighbor's car if he doesn't stop coming onto our land I swear to fucking god
  • 2p Italy: *breaks finger after catching a football**completely monotone* it seems that I'm in a bit of a situation. How unfortunate. Now, if you'll excuse me *goes to the nurse crying his eyes out*
  • 2p Germany: Yeah, I can speak German. Eat meine Dick
  • 2p Japan: The only thing darker than my soul is my hair
  • 2p Romano: *in response to 'you should wear a suit to bed'* you're right, I'll look dapper as fuck while I take a napper as fuck
  • 2p Austria: I can play skrillex on my ukulele
  • 2p Prussia: *nearly in tears* she took my flower crown
A lil sunshine in these scary times...

So, my friends and I are sitting in a Krispy Kreme just eating our donuts, chatting, whatevs. Out of the corner of my eye I see this country ass teenage boy walking up to us. Like, a Trump-supporter-looking dude with a country accent so thick that it was almost comical. Of course, my first thought is oh shit, he’s going to say something ignorant. Ya know, given that we’re sitting here in Columbus, MS and I have a pride flag painted on my face from an event earlier in the day. He approaches me and says, “Excuse me, but is that flag painted on your face meant to represent… you know…” 

“Gay people?” at this point in this interaction I was ready to throw hands so tbh my tone was more than a little bitchy. After I say this I see him hand me a piece of paper, and think it’s probably a pamphlet for a church or something so I can be “healed.” 

Then the biggest plot twist of my life happened. The piece of paper was a huge #gaypride sticker?? He said, “I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything. I made some of these for a friend and had an extra and I thought you might like it.” So that’s the story of how I thought I was going to have to fight a hick in a donut shop but ended up with a super gay sticker.

I like to imagine Neil giggles a lot when he gets tipsy. Imagine: Andrew and Neil sitting on the roof, sharing a bottle of whiskey, Andrew’s bitching about Kevin and Exy and Neil is just lying with his head on his lap, staring up at his stupid face and losing his shit. Andrew alternates between glaring at him and shutting him up with a kiss. 

8

Get that hair out of your face. Let me see. Christ! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell. I can see your socket. I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it? … All jokes aside, you look rad as hell. I wouldn’t cover that shit up. It may not be a hit with the ladies, but I swear to you, no one is gonna screw with you looking like that. No, sir.

The signs as iconic Jay Park lyrics pt.2

Aries: When you’re on a date with another dude I hope you get the shits. After you’re done I hope you run out of toilet paper.

Taurus: Bitch you finna have a cow, imma have the herd bitch.

Gemini: Yeah I’ll go refrigerator on yah, half my face missing I’ll go terminator on yah.

Cancer: You’re embedded in my head so get embedded in my bed.

Leo: I don’t need a gun to bust, I’ll bust on a mic, bust on ya chick if she like all through the night.

Virgo: Wanna grab you by your booty, girl let’s shoot a movie.

Libra: Stop you at the airport security, bomb pussy bomb pussy.

Scorpio: Jacob from Twilight cause I go and be on beast mode, eatin mother fuckahs because I be on feast mode.

Sagittarius: I’m ripping it, killing it, thinking of iller shit, rapping, you feeling it good like a clitoris.

Capricorn: Always coughing up these raps so you know I keep it ill, you can call me George Foreman ‘cause I’m all up in your grill.

Aquarius: Y'all in lyrical danger spittin’ heavy when i’m on the mic, electrifying like Benjamin Franklin with a kite.

Pisces: Before I go put it in I’ll go underwater girl just like a fish, and the way I stay down there you gon’ think I’m Aquaman.

If It Takes Writing a Musical For Us To Meet- Lin X Reader

A/N: i hope that you guys like this since it’s my first cast fic!!

“Good performance, Y/N. I have to applaud you on how much emotion went into Satisfied.” Daveed teased me and I rolled my eyes.

“Your personality goes from Lafayette to Jefferson so fast it’s jarring. Now I don’t think Jefferson wears a soldier uniform in act two so I would suggest getting changed.” I smirked, trying to completely ignore what he was implying.

“Well we both know what we know.” He sang with a shit-eating grin on his face and he went to his dressing room quickly.

I groaned and went into my dressing room and changed quickly into the outfit I was wearing in Take a Break.

I got in my position and I waited to hear Lin’s voice as my cue.

“And there you are, an ocean away. Do you have to be an ocean away? Thoughts of you subside, then I get another letter, I cannot put the notion away…”

I waited for the music to change, listening to Pippa, Lin and Anthony sing and in Anthony’s case, rap.

“My dearest Alexander, you must get through to Jefferson, sit down with him and compromise don’t stop ‘til you agree. Your fav'rite older sister, Angelica reminds you there’s someone in your corner all away across the sea. In a letter I received from you two weeks ago I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase. It changed the meaning. Did you intend this? One stroke and you’ve consumed my waking days. It says:

”'My dearest Angelica.’“

“With a comma after dearest. You’ve written:

”'My dearest, Angelica.’“
“Anyway, all this to say I’m coming home this summer at my sisters invitation, I’ll be there with your fam'ly if you make your way upstate. I know you’re very busy, I know you’re work’s important but I’m crossing the ocean and I just can’t wait.”

“You won’t be an ocean away, you will only be a moment away…”

I smiled widely as I heard Pippa sing and I got down the stairs and hugged her tightly.

“Angelica!” She laughed.

“Eliza!”

“The Schuyler sisters.” Lin smiled and I let go of Pippa.

“Alexander…”

“Hi.” He smiled, this cute grin on his face.

“It’s good to see your face.”

I walked off the stage after bowing, exhausted.

But we still had ham4ham to do.

“See! Lin has a crush on you as well!” Daveed practically yelled, barging into my dressing room.

“I thought I locked it.” I mumbled and he sighed.

“He practically was about to cry after the Reynolds Pamphlet!” Daveed pointed out.

To say that yelling at him for cheating on Eliza didn’t hurt me- especially since he actually looked genuinely upset after my part- would be a lie.

“Yes. I know, I was on stage as well.” I reminded him and he looked at me, surprised.

“You were upset as well?”

“Because he looked upset!” I defended myself before realizing that wasn’t helping my case at all. His smirk grew.

“I have a plan for how you should tell him.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” I heard someone else ask. I turned to see Anthony leaning against my foot, grinning.

“Diggs how many people did you tell?” I asked, glaring at him. He held his hands up in surrender.

“Literally everyone knows besides Lin and you.”

“And me? I am quite aware that I have a crush on Lin.” I pointed out and I groaned, mentally hitting myself.

“See? I knew I was right.” Daveed grinned.

“Okay whatever but what do you mean by ‘and you’?” I asked him.

“You see everyone knows that Lin has a crush on you but you both are completely oblivious to the fact that you both like each other.”

“Lin doesn’t like me.”

“His exact point.” Anthony pointed out.

“I need to get ready for ham4ham.”

“See you later Y/N.” Daveed called and he walked out, Anthony joining him.

The night was wrapping up and Daveed took the microphone.

“Now I’m not sure ‘bout you guys but I would love to hear our ensemble member Y/N sing Helpless with our dear Lin Manuel Miranda.” He said and I could practcially hear the smirk in his voice, even though I wasn’t looking at him. The fans screamed and I sighed and smiled awkwardly at Lin.

Pippa had this huge smile on her face and I knew that if Renee wasn’t sick, she’d be loving every second of this. Daveed handed a microphone to me and I glared at him.

“I am going to murder you.” I told him and he smiled sweetly.

“Go get ‘em.”

The music started and I started singing, keeping all the lyrics the same until it was the talking part.

“Y/N L/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“L/N?”

“That’s my last name. Thank you for all your music.”

“If it takes writing a musical for us to meet, it will have been worth it.”

“I’ll leave you to it.” Pippa smirked.

“One week later and were texting each other nightly, now my life gets better every message that you write me. Laughing at our cast mates because they want me to share them.”

“I’m just saying if you really loved us you would screenshot them.” Daveed said and I heard laughter throughout the cast and the audience.

I continued singing as normal and Lin grabbed my hands and he started rapping.

“Y/N, I don’t have a dollar to my name, an acre of land, a troop to command or a tolerance for pain. All I’ve got is my honor, a dollop of fame, a couple of broadway musicals and my top notch brain- insane this cast brings out a different side of me. Pippa confides in me, Daveed tried to fight me- no stress my love for you was never in doubt, we’ll get a place in New York City and we’ll figure it- and as long as I’m alive I swear to god you’ll never feel so…” He smiled and he closed the space between us, kissing me gently. I heard everyone cheer and the music turn off although it’s not like you could even hear it anymore anyways.

“Helpless.” I finished, out of breath from the kiss.

BTS reaction them watching your performance

Jin:

He would be smiling sooo wide. Like proudness would radiate off of that boy maybe even some cockiness cause like you are his and you are so amazing and talented??? How did he get so lucky?? (this gif doesn’t even relate but i wanna use it cause he looks so mf good like damn)

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi:

I just know Yoongi would look the most smug out of them all. He would look chill and calm but his face would have the biggest smirk and inside he would be so happy and full of pride I just know.

Originally posted by yoongichii

Namjoon:

He would so cocky about it. He would just be like yes my girl is up on the stage getting it and everyone is in awe watching her. Plus he would hype you up so good and get turnt as fuck and probably make other members get turnt too

Originally posted by bangtan-tv

Hobi:

Get ready for your #1 fan to flip his shit. He would be singing, dancing, probably embarrassing himself in the process, obnoxiously clapping, etc etc. All in all he would be such a supportive little mushroom hobi stans collect your man

Originally posted by yoongiwara

Jimin:

I think he would turn so shy tbhh. Like he would giggle and watch your performance with a goofy smile, then look at his members that are probably teasing him and blush and smile even harder like he would be a giggling proud mess 

Originally posted by bangtanskoala

Taehyung:

HE WOULD BE YOUR #1 HYPEMAN. He would get up from his chair and yell the lyrics and dance like an idiot and probably nudge other members to get turnt every 30 seconds and just smile and act like an idiot the whole time tbh

Originally posted by jjilljj

Jungkook:

I think he could go two ways. Either he would try to be chill and subtly hyped just playing it cool or he would be an absolute fanboy mess like this boy would be getting so many weird looks (mostly by namjoon and yoongi lmao) and you would probably be facepalming so hard.

Originally posted by jengkook

Requests are open :) - Lexii