your-actions-affect-others

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A very important moment on twitter: First of all, if you haven’t seen nash grier’s disgusting vine about HIV, you can watch it here. nash grier has gone on and on with hurtful comments and videos like these for awhile now (do I have to remind you of his infamous “what guys look for in girls” video?) and has kind of gotten away with it. I think it’s so important that youtubers like Tyler Oakley and Jack Howard, people with a lot of power and influence over their viewers, are speaking up for what is right.Ignoring the wrongdoings is not the same as standing up for what’s right. You cannot say you want equality and continue to support and promote someone that is homophobic and sexist. Look inward upon yourself and think about how your actions and other peoples’ actions will affect the people around you. Remember that everything you do and say makes a difference somehow. You have to make the decision of whether it will be a positive or negative difference. (Thank you to tyleroakley for taking a stand and to jackhoward for supporting him)(Also, nash grier isn’t capitalized because quite frankly, he doesn’t deserve it. *hair flip*)

...SHIPPING...

This is for you little fucker, I see your comments on Twitter and Instagram…this is also for the new borns out there.

Don’t be a part of the reason your ship sinks.

  1. Just because they are speculated to be together doesn’t mean it’s real or happening
  2. Just because you think it’s “so real”  IN NO WAY GIVES YOUR CURIOUS ASS THE RIGHT TO HARASS THEM OR THEIR FRIENDS/FAMILY ABOUT IT 
  3. Don’t believe every single thing you see here on Tumblr
  4. KEEP YOUR LIL SHIPPING BUTT HERE
  5. Know your fucking boundaries and stay in your lane
  6. Be respectful, IT’S REALLY NOT THAT DIFFICULT
  7. Remember that the “couple” you are shipping are indeed real people that walk this earth and breathe the same air as you. WOAH WHAT A SHOCKER RIGHT
  8. If you love them so much, you should think about how your actions will affect them
  9. Don’t push your ship onto other people
  10. Don’t shit on other ships
  11. Don’t comment/conversate about the ship on their social media posts
  12. Don’t tag them in your shipping posts on Twitter or Instagram:
  • They see it
  • They get uncomfortable
  • They turn into hermit crabs
  • They stop sharing the little bit of their lives they are willing to show us
  • You ruin it for everyone because you thought tagging them was all fun and games. BITCH PLEASE, IT AINT FUN WHEN YOU TAKE IT TO THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA

Basically don’t be a fucking idiot and respect all of the people involved. Yeah, you bet your ass I can agree that shipping is fun but it no longer becomes fun when it gets out of hand. In the end, no matter how real it is, all we want is for our faves to be happy- whether that would be them together as a couple or with someone else or as nothing but just friends. All that being said, please just be responsible.

hi responsible shipper I see you boo, feel free to reblog and add on to this

if youre straight i highly encourage you to look into why you like slash so much. think critically about what youre doing and how it affects gay men and how you and other perceive them. think about why you like reading about gay men having sex so much.

think about how your actions affect others and how you actually view real gay men instead of just fictional characters, and how your interest in slash affects that.

can shippers just, like, come clean as a whole

instead of bending over backwards trying to explain how pedophilia is morally just in this particular situation, instead of trying to seem like you are the better person.. just say what you really mean

that you don’t care about the repercussions of your actions and how they could affect others. you don’t care if pedophilia is wrong or that fetishizing minors is fucked up and no matter what we say you’re still going to do it. just say it.

Emotional & Life Skills Necessary for a Healthy Marriage

  1. An ability to know and name your emotions at any given time.
  2. An ability to communicate your emotions verbally and directly.
  3. An ability to manage the full range of your emotions without acting out destructively toward yourself or others.
  4. An understanding of what helps you to manage emotions, and a willingness and ability to seek those supports when necessary.
  5. An ability to be emotionally present for a loved one even when you are unable to do anything to fix his or her pain or suffering.
  6. An ability to see how your actions, even when well-meant, can sometimes negatively affect others.
  7. An ability to apologize and take responsibility for the way your actions affect others.
  8. An ability to communicate verbally, directly, gently, and respectfully to others when [they hurt you].
  9. An ability to receive critical feedback without blocking it ….
  10. An ability to identify what you need or want from others and communicate that verbally and directly.
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Everyday Misanthrope is a wonderfully wicked choose-your-own-misery simulation in which you must aim to spread as much misery and ruin as many lives in a day as possible!

Taking the form of a choose your own adventure, with you given a choice of misery inducing actions, then you watch with glee as they play out.  You must be strategic with your actions though -  different actions require different amounts of ‘Misery Tokens’, of which you only have a certain amount of to use in the day.  You don’t want to blow all your Misery Tokens too early, far better it spread them out over a full misery-filled day.

With a play-through lasting 5-10 minutes, Everyday Misanthrope certainly warrants multiple playthoughs as you try different actions and see how they play-out with misery-inducing effects.  The way your actions affect others certainly rises a smile - especially when you get a full breakdown of the lives you’ve ruined at the end.  It’s surprisingly good fun being a miserable git!

Play The Full Game, Free (Win, Mac & Linux)

being mentally ill doesn’t give you a free pass to be abusive and manipulative. i’ve seen way too many posts that excuse shitty hurtful behavior when the person is mentally ill. if you are mentally ill you still have to be responsible for how your actions affect others and these types of posts produce this thinking that ‘oh well i can’t control anything i do, i can’t be abusive and manipulative and if you call me out on it you are ableist and just don’t understand mental illness’. this type of blameless thinking is so harmful because it just makes the mentally ill person think that they are even less in control of their actions AND its so harmful to people who have been hurt and people who have been victims of abuse and manipulation because it makes their experiences and trauma feel totally fucking invalid and totally ignores the feelings of all the people affected by the abuse and manipulation. And a reminder, I am not neurotypical, I am also mentally ill, i just dont believe in using that as an excuse to not take responsibility for hurting people.

Have you ever wondered how your actions affect other people? Or how will people talk about you after your death? 

I’m serious, you’re gonna die, anytime soon. 

So, are you someone whose actions cause good to your loved ones that when they speak of you they can’t use any other words to describe you but beautiful adjectives?

Or are you among those whose actions are that scornful that when people speak of you, people will just instantly not like you?

Or worst, are you that person who haven’t done anything in his life worth remembering of that his or her deeds would not even leave a single trace in this dunya? That when he died, so is his remembrance upon the people?

Authubillah.

This is how humans are, people will always say something about the other, you might not but there will always other people who will, so think about it, instead of being talked in such bad way then why not silence them with the SINCERITY of your deeds.

Let me tell you about this story that will make you realize on how and where you are in regards to the collection of your good or bad deeds.
_____

Once, when the Sahabah Radiyallahu Anhum were gathered and The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam said:

“While I was sleeping, I saw [a dream in which] people were being presented to me. They were wearing shirts, and among them were people whose shirts reached their chests (i.e. they covered them only from their necks to their chests).

And among them were people whose shirts reached lower than that (or perhaps, whose shirts did not even reach that level). ‘Umar was then presented to me, and upon him was a shirt that he was dragging on the ground.”

The Sahabah Radiyallahu Ahum asked, “And how do you interpret that, O Messenger of Allah?”

He Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam replied: “[I interpret that to mean], religion.”
_____

An explanation on this hadith:

When the Sahabah Radiyallahu Anhum asked, “And how do you interpret that, O Messenger of Allah?”

They actually meant: And how do you interpret what you saw in terms of 'Umar having such a long shirt that he was dragging it along the ground?

That 'Umar dragged his shirt meant that, as he walked, he was leaving behind tracks on the ground; and those tracks were a metaphor for good deeds and positive accomplishments he left behind after his death, so others could follow his rightly-guided character.

And Allah knows best.
_____

Ma sha Allah how blessed was 'Umar Radiyallahu Anhu, now my dear brothers and sisters in Islam, reflect for a moment about your deeds, contemplate and ask yourself on how are you doing with your deeds.

Will your deeds leave traces that will inspire people to follow or do or will they scorn and move away with every trace you leave fearing they might fall into the same doom as you did or worst again, not even a single trace will be left?

Indeed, we all are inspiration to each other, what we do affect people who know us with impacts that we don’t even know, so be careful at every deed that you do, with every word that you speak for these things can leave traces in the hearts of those people who look up to you, and they can become instruments on how they would live this life. 
_____

And we pray that this story would let you realize the importance of our deeds on how it affects us as believers of Allah and those who believe in Him. May we become instruments that will make people come closer to the deen and may we become among the people who practice what they preach that they advice themselves before advising others. Amin

Zohayma
_____

Story was taken from Sahih Muslim, 2390

kevluvs  asked:

Sometimes people can be disappointing, especially when they break their word and seem to not care about how their actions affect others. How do you not get turned cynical when people you meet constantly act inconsiderate. This is not to be needy or anything like that but one would think that there should be a certain courtesy in our disposable society. What do you think??

Outwardly, our actions do affect other bodies. If someone slaps you, your body will register pain. But how you take that experience into your mind varies from person to person. How you are affected by actions internally has more to do with your mind than it does with the other person. 

If someone is discourteous to you and it hurts your feelings, that’s your challenge to face. This doesn’t mean that person should just do whatever they want and it’s on you to just deal with it. It just means that people will always be a mix of courteous, discourteous, kind, mean, happy, unhappy, and so on. Instead of policing everyone with a general doctrine of courtesy, which is a lovely idea and yet failed by every major world religion, you can address the root of your discomfort which is within. 

It’s like this well-known proverb once voiced by Ramana Maharshi: “Wanting to reform the world without discovering one’s true self is like trying to cover the world with leather to avoid the pain of walking on stones and thorns. It is much simpler to wear shoes.”

Wearing shoes in this instance means continually aspiring for inner clarity and therefore peace. How to do this? Here are some tips:

1. Stop and see. When someone is being discourteous, what do you think that indicates? Are they a happy person? Are they rooted, clear, insightful, and worth learning from? We often forget that the condemnable behavior of others comes from a place of deep confusion and suffering within. If you are not willing or able to see this, it is because you have yet to remove your own confusion. It’s easy to see the splinter in your neighbor’s eye while missing the log in your own. 

2. Be humble. Humility doesn’t mean bowing down to others. It means lowering your head to no one and allowing no one to lower their head to you. Humility is the recognition that no one being is inherently more or less important than another. Period. Be that human, insect, or fungus. 

3. Cease judgment and conclusions. You’re getting cynical because you’re generalizing the concept of the persons you have encountered with the concept of People as a whole. Then you draw half-baked conclusions. Humanity is not wonderful and all good and brilliant. Nor is it evil, worthless, or basic. Our bodies are all just bags of molecules.

You’re feeling disappointed because you were hoping for something else. But for peace to be possible here and now, all hope and fear, all judgments and conclusions, must be suspended. In order to come to know ourselves, each other, and reality as they are, we must be ready to abandon our habitual conceptions at a moment’s notice. 

If you ask me, modern day society is a very uncreative and somewhat mean game. We don’t need to be competing with each other, getting the newest iPhone, or working in an office for the majority of our lives. Our species has enough technology and learning to take care of everyone. So why don’t we? We’re bogged down by the inertia of the past. Cultural conditioning, language-bound perceptual confusion, and enduring issues from previous generations are part of the pre-existing framework with which we are forced to deal. 

Playing the coulda woulda shoulda game with modern society is just an exercise in frustration. It is only the future in which a harmonious society will be possible and nothing happens in the future for which we do not sow the seeds in the present. 

Attend to your own contributions, your own awakening. At the same time, strive to understand and give compassion to those people to whom life brings you. Daily meditation is essential. 

Namaste :)

Person of Interest ask meme

inspired by this funny and friendly lady @tingggmusic

Root: do you believe in God? And do you believe in aliens? Explain

Bear: what was your favourite toy when you were a kid?

Madame Control: in matter of work, it’s more important to you following your own ethic/moral beliefs without betray them or…you know, keep the work because you have to pay the bills/aka willing to compromise for more pratical needs?

Carter: what is the cause you feel you are most loyal to?

Kara: when hurted do you hold a grudge or let it go?

Finch: if you could invent one thing that would improve the humankind lives what would it be?

Zoe: ideal dinner date? (not exclusively romantic,can be friends,alone,family)

Elias: how did you met your current group of friends?

The Machine: chose one > you know every information possible but you are not be able to act in any way or you are constantly in a bliss but your actions can affect greatly the lives of others by every means

Shaw: if tomorrow you could feel just one emotion what would you choose (except happiness i mean, i see you there smart asses)?

Martine: tell one carachteristic of yourself that is perceived as a flaw but you believe it’s a quality instead

Greer: favourite supervillain of all the time (from tv,books,cinema,anything)

Dominic/Brotherhood: chose one > you are the king of the criminal life with power and richness but you have to hide by the chasing of the authorities or you are a common person with a life not as exciting, you are not rich nor powerful, but you live in freedom

Nathan: if you could give a gift to someone right now what would it be and to whom?

Grace Hendricks: who is that one long time friend that you see very rarely but you are very close with?

Reese: do you practice any combat arts? If yes, which? 

Leon: tell the 3 worst ideas ever you have had that then backfired when in action

Fusco: who was/is that one person that you feel was/is an advisor in your life?

Samaritan: if it was free and you did not need to work to live ecc, what is the study field you will start attending?

Claire Mahoney: what’s your favourite board game?

HR: you have betrayed someone and you deeply regret it. This is your anonimous occasion to apologise to them

Everyday is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been and move on. Don’t let negative words or actions of others affect your smile. Decide that today is going to be a good day
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What role changed your perception of the world?
My participation in the film “Sans Moi” when I was 24 years old. It was about a woman who hires a nanny who is excellent at what she does but has a chaotic private life. Once I read the script I focused on studying the character. I loved her. She appeared to be the best in everything, but her actions hurt those around her. It was a charater from whom I learned that your (bad) actions, affect others.

3 Ways Narcissists Consume Your Cooperation (Which Leads to Your Exploitation)

You live by the Golden Rule, treating others as you’d like to be treated.You take criticism to heart, reflecting on how your words and actions might affect other people. You are highly empathic, having the ability to sense the emotions of others and respond instinctively in ways that help those in need. You have a high level of tolerance, embracing the beliefs, practices, and lifestyles of other people. One thing is true of victims of Narcissistic abuse. They are the most caring, thoughtful, helpful people I’ve met. And if you’re reading this article, it’s likely that you possess these same traits I just described.

If everyone in the world boasted your qualities, we’d live in a Utopia. But, sadly, the world is full of manipulators who seek out and exploit people with your character profile, especially your toxic partner. Does this mean you should turn villain, acting with cold-hearted callousness – in other words, take on the character traits of your abusive, manipulative, and exploitative partner? No. Believe it or not, there are actually people in the world who would love and respect you for your reputable qualities and morals. Even more, people who would reciprocate them back to you!

However, regarding narcissists and other manipulators, your friendliness and compassion are like a big, flashing neon sign that says, “Hey! Over here! I’m like the Energizer Bunny! I can take a licking and keep on ticking! I’ll keep going and going and going and going and going…” You get the picture.

So, how do you maintain your core values while maintaining your dignity and trust in others at the same time? It starts with knowing how narcissists think and how they use your very best qualities against you. This knowledge will help you establish boundaries going forward, and allow you to save your efforts for people who truly deserve them. Following are the top three accommodating qualities narcissists look for in prospective sources of supply.

Cooperation:

Being cooperative is generally a good thing. It helps us gain respect, excel in the workplace, and form friendships and other relationships that have the potential to be long-lasting. However, where cooperativeness gets us into trouble is when it turns into unbridled selflessness.

Narcissists look for cooperativeness in partners because they know that they don’t possess this trait at its most basic level, and excessively cooperative partners will put in the work of two people to keep the relationship going, projecting their own desirable traits onto the narcissist, thereby filling in the yawning gaps in order to make the relationship seem more normal. This high level of cooperativeness is the most significant trait narcissists look for in partners because they intuitively know that such partners will stay in the relationship with them way beyond reasonable limits. 

Narcissists test their partner’s level of cooperation by starting out with small boundary violations and, over time, are able to get away with severe relationship crimes while simultaneously keeping their cooperative partner believing there is hope for change and improvement.

Signs of Excessive Cooperativeness:

•All of your efforts at cooperation result in outcomes that only benefit your partner

•Your level of teamwork smooths the cracks that result from your partner’s non-cooperativeness

•You believe that the more cooperative you are, the more connected in makes you to your toxic partner and that he or she will eventually acknowledge your efforts and appreciate them

•You consistently compromise your own interests and goals to help your partner achieve theirs

What to do: If you find yourself making all the compromises and consistently putting your own needs last, it’s possible that you’ve developed pathological altruism (which is very common in dysfunctional relationships) and may need therapy to work on boundaries and empathy-derived guilt issues.

Empathy:

Your partner has suffered a string of failed relationships, a terrible childhood, and is always taken advantage of at work (if they even have a job!) In turn, you stay with them because everyone else has left the Narcissist out in the cold, and you believe your love might one day change them, or at the very least, prompt a divine epiphany where they suddenly realize the pain and suffering they’ve put you through.

You’re always there to lend a sympathetic ear, though they barely stifle a yawn when you attempt to confide in them your own problems. (Or worse, if your problems involve them, you’re suddenly faced with a hulking brute who’s hell-bent on making you pay for pointing out one of their flaws!)

Ironically, your high levels of empathy trigger you to forgive the narcissist repeatedly because you believe his or her behaviors are derived from causes outside of themselves. You feel sorry for them down to your core and don’t want to leave the relationship because you feel personally obligated to help them and not abandon them. Believe it or not, the narcissist doesn’t need your empathy, but instead uses it to maintain power over your emotions and the relationship. The same can be said for your high level of cooperativeness

Signs of Excessive Empathy:

•You offer compassion and understanding in the face of your partner’s severe cruelty and abuse, believing that your undying patience will eventually have an effect on them

•You try to educate your partner on the underlying reasons for their weaknesses, character flaws, and emotional wounds, believing that doing so will help them see the error of their ways – even though they’ve raged at you for doing it before

•You often wind up helping your partner at the expense of your own needs

What to do: Excessive empathy can be a sign of an underlying mental or emotional problem and can also increase the risk of substance abuse and other unhealthy behaviors (such as codependency). If you find yourself participating in extreme empathy, talk to a therapist who can help you set boundaries and resolve unhealthy relationship patterns.

Tolerance:

Tolerance is defined as the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with. Have you tolerated the following in your relationship: pathological lying, numerous infidelities, sexual deviancy, financial abuse and manipulation, porn and other addictions, and/or your partner’s long-term unemployment?

Though you never would have thought you’d put up with these behaviors from a romantic partner, the narcissist likely started out with small boundary violations until they were eventually bull-dozing over all of your deal-breakers, while having you tell yourself it isn’t all that bad (much in the same way that they tested your cooperativeness).

As you can see, tolerance can reach pathological levels when you’re in a relationship where all of your values, deal-breakers, and personal ethics are violated on a consistent basis. The Narcissist’s ability to have you tolerate more and more unbelievable behaviors on their part feeds their sense of entitlement and dominance over you and also perpetuates their power to get you to tolerate even more awful behaviors the next time.

Signs of Excessive Tolerance:

•You’ve stayed with your partner through their long-term affair (and/or numerous affairs)

•You agree to sexually demeaning acts to “keep your partner happy”, even though it brings about severe self-loathing (this may include threesomes – with your partner asking you to find the sex partner, an ‘open’ relationship, participating in degrading acts you’ve never considered before

•You’ve lost hundreds or thousands of dollars to your partner, perhaps even going bankrupt or losing your home due to all the money you’ve given them

What to do: Make a list of your top five deal-breakers and be willing to walk away from anyone who doesn’t respect them. This will feel uncomfortably awkward at first, but only by setting personal boundaries and enforcing them will you be party to healthy relationships where you are respected on an individual level.

Remember, cooperativeness, empathy, and tolerance are all good qualities to have, but offering too much can cause you to lose your voice, feel used, and walked over – which in turn can lead to depression, anxiety, and PTSD in the context of pathological relationships. If your good qualities are filling the cracks of your partner’s scandalous shortfalls, you can decide today that you won’t let them exploit you anymore. Get yourself into therapy or a support group in your area, work on setting healthy boundaries, and commit to breaking unhealthy relationship patterns so you can live the happy, fulfilled life you deserve.

- Kim Saeed

source

some creators might be asexual, underage, or just! don’t want you to sexualize their OCs! there are nicer & better ways to say you find a character attractive, than saying ‘I would totally bang that’ or w/e

I’m probably-hopefully preaching to choir here. but it’s really important to consider how your words & actions are gonna affect other people

consent comes in many forms, in many contexts

#day 584 #daily #sketch #challenge #art #illustration #sketching #sketchbook #sketchbook #drawing #doodle

Next to the coffin by the flowers was an epitaph that was lifted from his Facebook.

Below the picture, where he had finally lost weight, in his black frames and grey trench quote, with a thumbs up and a big smile, the collection of paragraphs boiled down to three pivotal concepts.

Everything I wrote since returning was to get to this point; to create a foil; to explain how he was strangely advanced.

The three points were: be mindful of your actions and the moment. When the stress builds, focus on your breath. Be kind, your actions have an affect on others, and positivity will replicate positivity. And lastly, and most significantly, tell people you love them, express the emotion before it’s too late, or just learn how to express it in general. What’s significant is that it’s not that he said these things, but he lived it. Every meeting ended with a hug and an “I love you.” No matter how awkward it was for us.

He wasn’t always like this. He was flat out egotistic for most of his life. Most of our lives we’ve been pitted against each other. But somehow, someway, towards the end he channeled that brain to ascend beyond the human limitations. There are two types of people in the world, the conscious and the unconscious. He might’ve been the last conscious person I’ve met.

And He taught himself how to be conscious. He’s always had an extraordinary brain. He use to cut half semesters of school and still they deemed him a genius and valedictorian. That’s not hyperbole.

He still had bouts of immorality though, but people like that come about every couple thousand or so you meet.

He was a testament that the human can change, and change dramatically.

Made with Instagram

friendly (and important) reminder that there is a big difference between

“doing this thing would upset my significant other, so I won’t do this thing”

and

“my significant other won’t let me do this thing, so I won’t do this thing”

the first is acknowledging that your actions have consequences and opting to not take action that negatively affects others; the second means that someone else has stripped you of agency to choose your own actions

so

(1) Don’t say the second when you mean the first

and

(2) If you mean the second, you need to get away from that person, because that is abusive behavior