your-actions-affect-others

Torn [Chapter 1]

Mood board by MY LOVE @memoiresofaneternaldreamer

Chapter 1 of Torn

Got7 Hyung Line Series

Series Genre: AU/Smut/Fluff/Angst

A/N: Contains Text Image


“How can you be so selfish?” he asked. “Do you honestly mean to tell me you don’t see how your actions could have affected other people? People who love you?”

Your chest tightened at the solemn yet enraged look on his face. He stood there, breaking in front of your eyes, all because of you.

“Love?” was all you could manage.

“Yes, love, Y/N. Don’t act so naive. The way you were with me, the things we did - any rational person would assume that the sentiment was mutual”.

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Dear Papa
Papa,
I’ve been hurting-
But I refuse to let you see me cry,
I refuse to let you see valleys and warm streams flow from my face- so I’ve been collecting jars of tears over the years and saving them just for you. Hoping that one day you’ll get thirsty enough to find me where no words would be exchanged. I’ll offer you a glass of tears hoping it not only quench your thirst but fill you with the parts of me that I’ve purged.
Papa
The implications of your actions have affected others beyond the means of your reach like half thought out plans never to be executed- like solitary confinement with steel bars, it was you who was the key to me…..and you still chose to leave, and now a mother lost her baby but found a man who was only 8years old. you stole his chance to be because from early he was always told to be a man but had no idea of what that concept meant but fought to live this form of identity because papa like a thief in the night you stole more than an innocent girls virginity, you stole her joy and left her empty to raise a man who resembled you, a man who never got a chance to be a child
You stole all she had and left nothing for me, not even the touch of a mothers love because all she knew of love laid ideally between her legs and you her mathematician divided them and multiplied and then subtracted yourself from the equation leaving her with no answer and she would go over the problem each time while staring at me wondering why things didn’t added up and now you left me with a mother and grandmother playing mommy and daddy,
And now at 28 I still feel the hold you have on her after three kids as if she was trying to find you in other men and even though I was forced to be a man, I was never man enough to fill her the way you did. all that you left for me was the scraps after you had your fill and that little taste never filled me, I had to die daily to myself, As I watched you live and there wasn’t any mourning or tears aside from the bellowing sound of my own voice as I laid myself to rest, I was forced to live with a stranger in a haunted house as the ghost of you plagued me and the stranger was me, I had to carry the burden of humanity which was to feel and not feel at the same time and I waited between both praying for direction, praying for you papa but you couldn’t hear me, You couldn’t hear me through long distances that disconnected us, you could hear me over the sound of your own pride that you somehow couldn’t put to the side so another man had to be my teacher, It was he who taught me the birds and the bees, but I still reserved a few duties for you. But all I got were empty seats and vacant memories of me standing there..
Papa,
Am i not flesh of your own flesh and blood of your own blood, then why have you allowed unspoken words to form sharp nails that pin me down at night, why have you allowed me to bear another man’s name in the absence of yours, why, did you not think of what would happen when young girls laid down and became young woman? Did you not know a boy would seek the love of his father like he seeks the love of himself but both nowhere to be found, I remember how much I would ingest heavy blows meant for you papa, some punches were mine and others were hers but both tasted the same… and I still went to bout for you, I gave hard jabs and stiff right hooks not noticing I was fighting myself, You set sail and left me ashore so papa why do I feel I like I’m the one drowning?

Dear Papa, I miss you but I think she misses you more..

By: Leon T.

I want to tell you everything. I want you to know you’re the reason why I keep people at a distance. I’m afraid they’ll suck me in to their misery and let me rot there like you did. I want to tell you how awful I felt about myself when I was around you. I want to tell you how scared I am that you still might come back and take everything from me out of revenge. I want you to know how many excuses I made for you. I want you to know how many people hated you because they loved me and they saw how you hurt me. I want to tell you that I was never who you thought I was; I’m so much more than that. I want to tell you I’m not angry with you at all but I’m angry at myself for letting you do this to me for years. But if I ever saw you I wouldn’t say a word. Because you would never understand. You’re always the victim and you can’t see how your actions affect others. You don’t want to recognize that you take advantage of people who love you. I was once one of those people, but never again.
  • Wednesday: Maybe cause you're pretty, you're used to getting away with things. But I want you to know that your actions have an affect on others, and I hate you! And you're a horrible person! And you not understanding that you're a horrible person doesn't make you less of a horrible person!
  • Amanda:
  • Amanda: You think I'm pretty?
The Sharon Carter tag

If you’re reading this, you’re either on my blog (hi!) or in the Sharon Carter tag (hi!). Or, heck, I might tag a couple other things just to get the word out.

There’s something you should know.

There’s a hate blog that isn’t just hating Sharon Carter and posting in her tags, it’s also tagging individual fans to make sure they see the hate. They’ve been tagging my username. I don’t know how long it’s been going on, because I blocked them AGES ago (shortly after the blog first appeared, actually), and I don’t know what reason they would have to tag me except that I suggested we use my username as a new safe tag since surely they wouldn’t tag an INDIVIDUAL PERSON ON THE SITE WITH THEIR HATE (this was after we used a number of other safe tags that the hate blog soon started using, too), and I’m a Sharon Carter fan who organizes appreciation events.

But it’s become increasingly evident that the hate blog and its few followers are stalking not only the tag, but also people who post in the tags. Within two weeks of me talking about how I was diagnosed with depression, the hate blog posted that all Sharon Carter fans have mental illness. I offered to discuss any evidence of Sharon being abusive (their latest claim) but made it clear I had turned off anon because I don’t want to get anon hate. Within a couple days, the hate blog announced that someone was trying to get blogs deleted by drawing people into debate. At the time, I was the only person inviting people to talk to me about this supposed evidence they had that Sharon Carter was abusive. Oh, and of course, I mentioned in one post the possibility - just the possibility - of using my username as a safe tag. I don’t think I even put it in the Sharon Carter tag, because there was no reason to do so.

The thing is, I blocked the blog, so they shouldn’t be able to see my posts in the tags. They’re finding ways around that 

So if you’re in the Sharon tag, be warned - someone is not only stalking the tag and the people who post in the tag. They’re CERTAINLY harassing people in the tag and people who post in the tag. Please continue posting, because we don’t want their hate to win, but please keep things as positive as possible because they’ll use any excuse to harass Sharon Carter fans.

And if you’re in the rest of fandom, this is what some of us are dealing with. So please consider what it’s like to have the things you love and that inspire you be used as the reason to harass you and stalk you, and consider how your words and actions affect others in fandom. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody, but I’m hoping we can use it as a learning experience, with the takeaway being be nicer to each other. If someone’s a fan of a character, let them be a fan of that character.

Edit: It turns out I did tag the post about using my username as a safe tag “sharon carter.” It was so long ago I couldn’t remember. Still, they shouldn’t have been able to see that, since I’d blocked them for constantly tagging their hate.

‘There’s so much drama in the Voltron fandom! Why can’t we all get along 😤’

Shut up!! Shut up y'all are so!! Obnoxious!! People calling out things that cause harm to fans isn’t 'drama’ it’s just what needs to happen!! When you say you’re tired of the drama what you mean is you’re tired of recognizing your own shit behavior and you are tired of having to think about how your own harmful actions affect others! Also? Who the fuck really sees those 'no more drama’ posts and thinks 'yeah maybe we shouldn’t say anything about this toxic behavior let’s all get along and be miserable’

Stop being dense just stay in your own lane if you don’t wanna speak out on harmful behavior! You aren’t stopping those of us who do lol ✌️

The Key to success in Relationships

1. Pay attention to the way you react to others. Are you quick to form judgments before hearing all the facts? Do you tend to stereotype people? Try and stand back and analyse your interactions with other people. Is there anything you should change, or do differently? Try putting yourself in their place, and thinking about their outlooks, opinions and needs.

2. What are you like at work or school? Do you try to get attention and be noticed for your successes? It is possible to be humble and self-confident at the same time. When you are humble, you focus on the successes of others. However, you’re also aware of your gifts and strengths, and are quietly confident about your abilities to work well, do a good job, and achieve success.

3. Be open to admitting you may have some weaknesses! All of us have areas we could work on, and improve. Admitting you’re not perfect is not the same as feeling as if you’re a failure. Do an honest self-evaluation and try to turn your weaknesses into strengths?

4. Look at the way your deal with stress, and how you react to stressful situations. Do you get annoyed and upset every time there’s a delay or your plans get frustrated? Do you take the role of victim and start blaming others? Being able to regulate your emotions and stay calm and composed in tough situations is a mark of high emotional intelligence. This is key for succeeding in relationships, at school and in the business world.

5. Be willing to accept responsibility for your actions. If you’ve hurt or upset someone, then admit it to yourself and apologise. Don’t just ignore or avoid the situation. Most people will respect you if you apologise – but you’ll lose respect if you act like nothing`s wrong.

6. Finally, always think about how your actions and words will affect other people. Is it going to make life easy or difficult for them? How would you feel if you were in their place? Then adapt and compromise so that everybody wins.

3

They both went inside to see and upon noticing Grace’s absence Emma turned to leave but Ibis stopped her. “Why don’t you stay and wait? My bed’s available.” He winked.

“Shove it.” She huffed.

“Why are you still so mad at me?” He said with complete seriousness.

She looked at him, incredulous. “You hurt my sister.”

“I apologized.” He defended.

She countered with, “You can shove your apology right up your ass.”

“I don’t like shoving things in my ass.”

“Is everything a joke to you? Don’t you even care how your words and actions affect other people?” Her voice was clearly raised now, the anger evident in every syllable.

“No. Of course not everything’s a joke. I really am sorry I hurt her.” He expressed as sincerely as he could.

“It’s always easy to ask for forgiveness after the fact. Be better. Don’t hurt people in the first place.”

also i wholeheartedly disagree that show “glorifies” suicide or says its okay to blame others. the suicide was particularly gruesome and hard to watch to show that its not galmourous. it shows us how badly it affected everyone around her. it showed us how bad things were for her and how she couldnt get help or support and how this made her feel it was her only option. but thats not glorifying anything, its showing a reality for many people. i dont see them at all treating her like a martyr or something tragically beautiful. i see them showing us how easy it is for people to miss signs and not understand what people are going through. i see it showing people that your actions can really affect others in ways that you cant realise. i see it showing a story that is true for many people - particulary teenage girls. when she killed herself, the people who didnt like her didnt just fall in love with her and recognize what a great person she was. they were angry at her and they were more concerned about what it meant for them than about mourning her death. i don’t know what show you guys watched but i really dont see the same things you are seeing?

New Years Resolutions for Each Zodiac Sign

ARIES: Pay attention to the way you carry yourself. You are very kind and passionate and lots of people admire you, but there are times when you come off as a bit intimidating and cocky. Think about what you’re going to say and who you’re saying it to before you go spouting off. Sometimes a gentle approach is what’s best!

TAURUS: As you tend to be very emotional, sometimes your emotions can cloud your judgement and cause you a lot of pain. This year, try to tone them down (I know that it is very, very hard to do this, but hear me out). Don’t let your heart get in the way of your brain…and quit overthinking! You are loved and you do not need to worry yourself!

GEMINI: Relax. Things that are meant to happen, will happen. Sit back and let things play out. Forcing and rushing things isn’t good for anyone, especially you. Don’t stress!

CANCER: 2017 is your year to broaden your outlook and really consider other perspectives. Try being more empathetic and put yourself into someone else’s shoes when a problem arises. Of course your own needs are still important, but think about the way your actions affect others before you decide to do something.

LEO: You may have been successful in some major endeavors in 2016, which is fantastic, but that positive change brought along a bit of…impudence. Just remember to remain humble and be thankful for what you have!

VIRGO: You may be feeling a bit discouraged lately, not knowing who you can trust, but situations like these always work themselves out. Pay attention to peoples’ intentions and you will see the truth soon enough.

LIBRA: Things may have seemed a little rough this year, but it’s time to start looking on the bright side of things! You may not realize it, but sometimes your bluntness really hurts other peoples’ feelings. This year, focus on being positive and try to build people up rather than putting them down (we know you don’t mean it like that, but some of us are sensitive and take it to heart).

SCORPIO: Aim to expel all of the negativity in your life this year! If someone isn’t treating you the way you should be treated, kick them to the curb! This is your year to spend with the true friends who are really there for you and love you.

SAGITTARIUS: Try putting an end to all of the drama and gossip in your life this new year. It is the root of the majority of your problems, and once it’s gone you’ll realize how much happier you are when you aren’t upset over petty drama. It isn’t a crime to rid your life of negative people.

CAPRICORN: You must stop letting other people hold you back. Civil confrontation isn’t a bad thing. Let people know how you’re feeling, rather than holding everything in or waiting for them to come to you.

AQUARIUS: It’s time to start taking things a lot more seriously. You spend so much time in your own head that sometimes you forget that your actions have consequences. Reconnect with those whom you feel are growing distant; you won’t regret it.

PISCES: You worry too much about what everyone else thinks, Pisces. Be selfish for a second! Stop caring about what’s best for other people and focus on what’s best for you. You deserve it. 

i rly rly rly hate to seem like some sort of “truth and logic be my sword and shield” kinda gg-er or internetnazi but my biggest pet peeve is when people dont read the original source.
always go back to the original study, learn how to read scientific literature if ur gonna base your actions that affect others on it
everyone has an agenda. mine is to not die or be harassed for existing. some people will dump sugar and blatent lies on their agenda to convince others that theyre right. its really easy to do.
its really common in journalism for articles to cite studies that blatently say the opposite of what the author is saying they do. theyll just cherrypick numbers and charts until they have an argument that looks nice.

i know how to avoid this bc i, too, am a manipulative piece of shit with clinically diagnosed control issues. im here to tell you all that you dont have to fall for any of it. just be skeptical ppl

Uruz

 Gods/Goddesses/Figures: Thor, Urd, the Jotunar

Plants: Moss, birch trees

Animals: Aurochs, Oxen, Bulls

Gender: Male

Safe to Wear?   No, I do not recommend using Uruz as a charm due to its unpredictable nature

Rune Poem(s)

Rain is lamentation of the clouds
and ruin of the hay-harvest
and abomination of the shepherd (Icelandic)

The aurochs is proud and has great horns;
it is a very savage beast and fights with its horns;
a great ranger of the moors, it is a creature of mettle. (Anglo-Saxon)

 Traditional Associations: Strength, manhood, harsh weather, storms, iron, raw power, wild primal energy, young warriors, male fertility

 Personal Interpretation:  Uruz is a symbol of masculinity in its youthful prime. It is a rune of pure, physical prowess and strength, great vitality and energy, health and ambition.

 However, this rune should be used with caution. Its name-sake, the aurochs, was a mighty beast that was quite dangerous.

 Its association with Thor, a sometimes hot headed god, should be noted. Many times, Thor would charge into situations like a bull without thinking things through. Bull-headed usually means stubborn and hot tempered, after all. Rain is also associated with Thor, and while it can be a blessing, it can also be a curse.

In a reading, this rune is an omen of all of its good qualities: health and energy, strength, and so on, but you should also be very mindful not to abuse this strength, and to use your brain. You may feel a lot of pent up, youthful energy at this time, but you should really be careful how you use it. How many dumb things have we all done in our youth without thinking?

 This rune should not be used lightly, particularly in magic. If you don’t know what you’re doing with it, it can be very destructive.

 

Merkstave

Gods/Goddesses/Figures: Thor, the Jotunar

Animals: Aurochs, Oxen, Bulls

Safe to Wear? : No, absolutely not

Traditional:  Destruction, malice, blind fury, weakness, lethargy, witlessness, stupidity, being overwhelmed, powerlessness, sickness

Personal:  The merkstave of Uruz brings with it the warnings of its upright form and increases it.

 Thor protects mankind from evil, and thunderstorms and rain are the result of his work. However, Thor sometimes focuses too much on what he’s hunting, and not enough on the Earth below him. Thunder can cause a great deal of damage to the land; too much rain causes floods and crop destruction. Likewise, if we become too focused on our goals, and not enough on the people around us, we can cause a massive amount of damage.

Merkstave Uruz is a warning to keep your wits about you and to consider your actions, looking before you leap.

 Some of the Jotunar embody pure malice and destruction. Many of them are responsible for flooding, hurricanes, blizzards, and hail. Think about how your actions affect others. Are you hurting other people, the Earth, or yourself by doing something? Don’t do it if so.

 This may be a time that you feel powerless, sick, or stupid. Take care of yourself and try to ground.

 The runes may also be telling you that you’re doing something foolish, depending on your question.

 Read the upright meaning of Uruz as well as the merkstave if it comes up this way.

 (*upg marked in Italics, art by me, please note these are my personal interpretations and the results of my research. You may not agree with everything I’ve written)

You have no idea how much your actions and your words affect other people. You might not understand that the person you started talking to a few weeks ago is now a completely different person just because of you; maybe they’ve started listening to music more, maybe they’ve read that book you recommended and now they know something they didn’t. maybe they saw how kind you were to someone and decided to become kinder themselves. or maybe it’s quite the opposite - they watched you being mean to someone and they got bitter, or more dissapointed in people and in world; maybe you said something rude to them and now they can’t stop thinking about what’s wrong with them, and they are more insecure than they used to be. But this is not the only thing about your actions affecting others; the main point is, it actually starts a chain reaction. They, affected by you, start affecting others in one way or another. the world changes through second-hand actions, our lives change through second-hand actions. what I’m trying to say is, no, you are not really responsible for other people’s actions, but you do have to be careful about what you do and say. And when you say something like “even if i’m kind it won’t change anything” or if you think there’s nothing bad about being rude to people remember that you are completely wrong and you are a part of something way, way bigger, something that consists of all these small things each of which is extremely important. 

Some people try to change everyone except themselves and they think that what they do is efficient enough. What they fail to realize is that the would change a lot more people and a lot more things just by changing themselves. So please, please, try your hardest to make the world a better, kinder place. I promise you, it won’t go unnoticed.

On Unconstrained Use Of Social Power and the Ingroup

This is written in response to two things I’ve seen recently. One was a Facebook post within the Bay Area rationalist community. among people with minor local social power, which casually proposed lying to people if you thought it would make them more right eventually, and the other is some more recent Slytherin positivity posts within the Tumblr community. Both were stated relatively lightly and aren’t worth making a fuss in and of themselves, but in conjunction they provide a good opportunity to express a fairly strong personal Thing I have about this topic, which might or might not be unfair.

If there’s a conclusion at all, it’s that maybe it’s worth noting the limits of what you favour more often, both to avoid sanctioning bad things and to make it clear to people that you wouldn’t sanction bad things.

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Cultural Appropriation and Body Modification

So, while the body modification debates what I consider a pretty cut-and-dry case of white privilege (whether or not white dudes should be walking around wearing swastikas) can we now open the dialogue* on cultural appropriation in the body modification industry/subculture?

A few common things I see just off the top of my head that we might want to reconsider:

-Using culturally significant names for westernized piercings (ie. “Bindi” and “Sadhu” piercings)

-Wearing culturally significant jewelry with no regard to the culture it came from.

-Stealing the names of rituals, mimicking them, and/or taking elements from and using them outside of their cultural history. (“Kavadi” and “Sundance” rituals.

-Wearing cultural people as tattoos or on clothing, often a bastardized and racist stereotype of the culture. (“Indian girl” tattoos with headdresses and face paint, “Gypsy” tattoos, etc.)

-Stealing culturally significant tattoo imagery, jewelry designs, etc. (Especially when that jewelry is then produced by exploiting other people of color in developing nations)

-Wearing other cultures’ clothing as costumes for events

I’m not laying down a rulebook here. I’m not authority. I’m still on the fence about my thoughts and feelings about particular issues. I’m just saying that as a subculture the body modification community needs to look at our actions and ask ourselves whether we want to flex our privileges and continue the white settler status-quo or if we want an inclusive environment that doesn’t alienate those outside of it. Here are a few things to think about that might help, but as a white/cis/male I’m well aware of my own privilege and would love to hear others’ voices on this topic:

Listen instead of talking:

The next time a person of color questions your swastika tattoo, maybe ask them how they feel about it and whether it makes them uncomfortable rather than just asserting your “right” to wear it.

Consider how your actions affect others:

Rather than selfishly flexing your privilege ask yourself how your actions might affect others. Sure, a comic has the “right” to go on stage in black face, but do you want to be that guy or do you want to avoid looking like a jerk? How is your indian girl-head tattoo with her headdress and face paint any different than a black-face tattoo or a racist sports mascot? It’s not.

Similarly, how is a young Hindu woman going to feel when she sees you wearing a knock-off of her once-in-a-lifetime special wedding nostril jewelry through a pair of acrylic eyelets in your ears? Especially if you’re wearing a matching “Bali flower” threaded top on your “Bindi” piercing? Taking something with cultural significance and stealing it to use as a fashion statement is a pretty settler-ist thing to do. Is that what we want this industry/culture to represent?

Remember that inclusivity requires proactive measures.

Those of us with privileges should be using that to elevate the voices of others in our community and reaching out to those who may feel initially left out rather than asserting opinions and alienating them.

I know a lot of us got into this industry because of our interest in other cultures. We just need to be careful that our interest doesn’t bleed over into appropriation. By all means study, learn, and appreciate the diverse cultural history of body modification but let’s stop appropriating those ideas and stealing them for our own fashion uses.

*The dialogue is already open for the record… I just don’t see it very often brought up WITHIN the piercing community. Outside of the core group of professionals I tend to follow there is a vibrant and interesting discussion on what is, isn’t, and might be cultural appropriation.

being mentally ill doesn’t give you a free pass to be abusive and manipulative. i’ve seen way too many posts that excuse shitty hurtful behavior when the person is mentally ill. if you are mentally ill you still have to be responsible for how your actions affect others and these types of posts produce this thinking that ‘oh well i can’t control anything i do, i can’t be abusive and manipulative and if you call me out on it you are ableist and just don’t understand mental illness’. this type of blameless thinking is so harmful because it just makes the mentally ill person think that they are even less in control of their actions AND its so harmful to people who have been hurt and people who have been victims of abuse and manipulation because it makes their experiences and trauma feel totally fucking invalid and totally ignores the feelings of all the people affected by the abuse and manipulation. And a reminder, I am not neurotypical, I am also mentally ill, i just dont believe in using that as an excuse to not take responsibility for hurting people.

7/15/16 - 7/24/16

  • Discretion is always worth exercising. Just because you have the right and ability to do or say something doesn’t mean you should. Situational awareness is especially when your actions can affect others, even inadvertently. 
  • Building off the last point, know how much to say when revealing things. In the movie Interstellar, an artificial intelligence system named TARS reveals that it’s programmed to be 95% truthful with the human crew members of its ship and cites our emotions as the reason. It’s true, many of us can attest that more than once, we’ve slightly left out a detail or two when recounting a story or expressing a thought. Although I personally try to stick to being 100% truthful all of the time, I do support this cause like I previously said, discretion should be exercised. Just keep in mind that the people around you can also be 95% truthful with you by omitted whatever details they deem unnecessary at the time, and you can’t fault them for that if you yourself are the same way. 
  • Own your feelings and emotions. I’ve mentioned this before but you really  should accept and embrace your feelings. People still seriously feed into the whole “low key” thing and take it to heart but if you’re really trying to convince yourself that you don’t care for something or someone as much as you actually do, you’re in for really shitty wake up call. If you don’t like something, act on it, make it known if you’re questioned; and vice versa. 
  • Be you, and unapologetic so. Don’t fake interest in people or things you don’t like just to appease others. Don’t try to emulate someone else’s actions cause you think doing exactly what they did will net you what they have/had. If you’re trying to achieve something or capture someone’s attention or interest, you really might as well do it while being as genuine and true to yourself as possible. 
  • Communication will always be the most essential aspect of accomplishing anything dependent on more than one person. From an 8th grade group project to marriage, it’s the one true make or break factor. Closed mouths don’t get fed so if you have something to say, say it, and don’t let pride or fear of the answer stop you. It’s baffling to see two people that really like each other have some silent stand off because of miscommunication. You’re not gonna get anything accomplished by spending hours, days, or weeks, avoiding each other waiting for the other to crack. As for fear, it’s not easy to ask tough questions, especially when you have an answer in mind that you’d like to hear but your gut tells you you’ll hear exactly what you fear the most. 
  • Going after what you want vs. letting things play out. Things will work out, just let it be, let go and let god, what’s meant to be will be. All things I’ve heard at some point, and that I’ve said to others as well, usually when struggling with wanting a particular outcome that we have limited control of. While I respect this stance cause it promotes patience, there’s only so much standing by and letting things play out a person can do. For the most part, you do have the ability to alter certain situations in your life. Yes, there comes a point when you’ve done all you could and you’ve no choice but to leave it alone but even thing, situations aren’t always gonna stay in that state. They waver between that and giving you the chance to have input and influence, so remain vigilante and on top of things if you want to have as much say as possible. 
  • You’re under no obligation to be the same person you once were. You’re changing by the second, information alters our stance and opinions and for someone to accuse you of being fake or any less genuine than you actually are because of a shift in views, is nonsense. You’re supposed to change and adapt with time, it’s called growth. On the flip side, integrity is a hell of a nice thing to develop. Saying something and sticking to it time and time again proves to others, and more importantly to yourself, that you’re capable of making good on your word. Finding the middle ground between these two attributes really boils down to not rushing to make claims and giving yourself room for setbacks.

I used to be a super optimistic person, then I went through some stuff and that was shot. For the past couple of years though I’ve been slowly reclaiming bits and pieces of the old me and it’s really about counting your blessings, no matter how small. Cherish the people who continue to display their investment in your wellbeing, the ones that always answer your calls and reply to your texts faster than the screen can go off. If you don’t have any of these things then that’s just fine, time will grant you the opportunity to have them, and they’re very much worth the wait. Someone asked me today what I wanted for my birthday and I told them I have a friend visiting me soon and that’s really all I could ask for. Then came the brigade of questions. Is that your girl, she your best friend, what are you guys? I didn’t answer because I refuse to put a label on something that I honestly find solace in. I don’t like titles or classifying my relationships, platonic or not, with anyone. The point I’m trying to make is that on an occasion where many people, rightfully, go all out and spend a lot to make their special day as they picture it, I’m simply looking looking forward to enjoying someone else’s company. 

I saw a screenshot of a tweet earlier and I can’t remember exactly what it said but it was something like “create the life you want with the love you have.” I found it really genuine cause it’s kind of a catch all saying that you can have the life you want with your own brand of love. We all love and express our love for others in different ways, and as hard as we try, we sometimes slip into thinking our form or affection and care isn’t enough. It’s enough, often times it’s more than enough, but we compare ourselves with our peers, many of which aren’t in the same predicament as us and facing the same struggles. Who you are as a person, flaws and all, is enough. White, black, dark, light, tall, short, skinny, big, rich, struggling, it’s doesn’t matter. Metrics are just that, categories and measurements created to help us advance as a species but we label and confine ourselves so much we in turn create mental boundaries and somehow convince ourselves that we’re not deserving of what we want. So no matter how much you’ve been through, or how little, wherever you are along your personal journey, you’re worth it, and you’ve got just as much to offer as the next person.

some creators might be asexual, underage, or just! don’t want you to sexualize their OCs! there are nicer & better ways to say you find a character attractive, than saying ‘I would totally bang that’ or w/e

I’m probably-hopefully preaching to choir here. but it’s really important to consider how your words & actions are gonna affect other people

consent comes in many forms, in many contexts