your-actions-affect-others

being mentally ill doesn’t give you a free pass to be abusive and manipulative. i’ve seen way too many posts that excuse shitty hurtful behavior when the person is mentally ill. if you are mentally ill you still have to be responsible for how your actions affect others and these types of posts produce this thinking that ‘oh well i can’t control anything i do, i can’t be abusive and manipulative and if you call me out on it you are ableist and just don’t understand mental illness’. this type of blameless thinking is so harmful because it just makes the mentally ill person think that they are even less in control of their actions AND its so harmful to people who have been hurt and people who have been victims of abuse and manipulation because it makes their experiences and trauma feel totally fucking invalid and totally ignores the feelings of all the people affected by the abuse and manipulation. And a reminder, I am not neurotypical, I am also mentally ill, i just dont believe in using that as an excuse to not take responsibility for hurting people.

This is some gaslighting bullshit I tell you. Even if they pull it off there’s no fucking reason we had to go through these last few days. Just to mislead journalists when they already had no clue about what was going on?

Maybe I’ll feel better in a few hours but I woke up this morning seriously questioning my sanity and thinking that my sexuality crisis is all part of a mass delusion and this is not good for my mental health.

Yeah, believe, never doubt, whatever. I’m 33 and I don’t just trust brilliant people to do the right thing. I’ve been burned on that front for decades and trust me, just because you’re brilliant and crafty and creative doesn’t mean that you have empathy and have any idea how your actions affect others.

...SHIPPING...

This is for you little fucker, I see your comments on Twitter and Instagram…this is also for the new borns out there.

Don’t be a part of the reason your ship sinks.

  1. Just because they are speculated to be together doesn’t mean it’s real or happening
  2. Just because you think it’s “so real”  IN NO WAY GIVES YOUR CURIOUS ASS THE RIGHT TO HARASS THEM OR THEIR FRIENDS/FAMILY ABOUT IT 
  3. Don’t believe every single thing you see here on Tumblr
  4. KEEP YOUR LIL SHIPPING BUTT HERE
  5. Know your fucking boundaries and stay in your lane
  6. Be respectful, IT’S REALLY NOT THAT DIFFICULT
  7. Remember that the “couple” you are shipping are indeed real people that walk this earth and breathe the same air as you. WOAH WHAT A SHOCKER RIGHT
  8. If you love them so much, you should think about how your actions will affect them
  9. Don’t push your ship onto other people
  10. Don’t shit on other ships
  11. Don’t comment/conversate about the ship on their social media posts
  12. Don’t tag them in your shipping posts on Twitter or Instagram:
  • They see it
  • They get uncomfortable
  • They turn into hermit crabs
  • They stop sharing the little bit of their lives they are willing to show us
  • You ruin it for everyone because you thought tagging them was all fun and games. BITCH PLEASE, IT AINT FUN WHEN YOU TAKE IT TO THEIR SOCIAL MEDIA

Basically don’t be a fucking idiot and respect all of the people involved. Yeah, you bet your ass I can agree that shipping is fun but it no longer becomes fun when it gets out of hand. In the end, no matter how real it is, all we want is for our faves to be happy- whether that would be them together as a couple or with someone else or as nothing but just friends. All that being said, please just be responsible.

hi responsible shipper I see you boo, feel free to reblog and add on to this

it’s scary how some people get on the internet and their mindset immediately becomes “I can do whatever I want, I don’t have to care about how my actions affect other people. If you don’t like it, leave!” Like..just because you hopped on your ipad doesn’t mean you’re suddenly in a bubble where nothing is real. These are still people around you, your actions still affect other people, and just because it’s harder to maintain accountability on online platforms where anonymity is an option doesn’t mean you should start treating other people like they don’t matter.

And these are the same people who say we’re being too whiny or trying to victimize ourselves or trying to censor them, when all we’re doing is talking about how certain content can be harmful. Like if you wanna go so hard defending your “right” to do whatever you want online and in fandom spaces, then we can criticize you as much as we want! It goes both ways!! Surprise! It’s real fucking ironic how you guys pretend we’re the ones being babies when you act like you got shot when we tell you not to ship incest or pedophilia.

Literally all you have to do is take two seconds to think about how your actions affect other people. Don’t be an asshole. It’s that simple.

Things I have learned:

It takes two people to fight and two people to make up. It’s not just about you.
Thinking about how your actions affect others will make you a better person and will make those around you appreciate you more.
Think before you speak. Once words are spoken, they cannot be taken back and it is hard to forget they were spoken.
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
Be kind. Smile more. Respect.

anonymous asked:

what i like about you: youre a very loving person and can be very caring + treat people so well / what i dislike about you: you often dont put enough thought into how your thoughts or actions will affect others; you are distant and can be inattentive and you dont always keep your promises

this is very true, the second part, at least. honestly it’s mostly due to the fact that i’m just… extremely forgetful. i push forward without remembering things i SHOULD remember. i forget to consider other people’s feelings just because… it doesn’t occur to me that the things i’m doing would affect anyone else. i don’t even realize until it’s too late and then i don’t know what to do.

i tend to act very quickly and rashly and it’s been an issue for a long time. i’ll work on it. thank you for the message.

anonymous asked:

Noticing your faults and trying to improve already makes you better than most. The fact that you're genuinely concerned about how your actions affect others shows that you're a good person. I don't think there's anything for you to worry about as long as you keep trying to be a better person. You'll never end up as bad as your father, and the way things seem to be going I think you'll end up being someone better than most. You're already so kind it pains you, I really think you're amazing

thank you

i could always do better, so much better, but that knowledge is what keeps me going and keeps me trying and keeps me motivated to be the best i can be and try to push what my best is up higher and higher. and now i dont just want to be a good person because “it seems like a nice way to be and i value kindness” anymore. it’s so much more immediate and real now. i want to do it for the people i care about. i owe it to them.

you’re incredibly sweet yourself, anon. i really value this a lot. thank you so much, bless you

To elaborate on that post, if you want to talk to me, than please do. I am open to having a conversation. But I am more than just my mental illness. But my mental illness, my dissociative identity disorder, is a part of me, and always will be.

It’s not that I don’t respect your right to express yourself. Express yourself however you want. But you made an active choice to tag that post with tags that would ensure that people with DID would see it. That’s what I have a problem with. You have to be aware of yourself and how your actions will affect others.

I have to deal with people actively hating me because of my mental disorder all the time. This includes everyday people and doctors. I’m just trying to get through my day like everyone else. I’m trying to heal from my past so I can create a better future for myself.

- Kayla

some creators might be asexual, underage, or just! don’t want you to sexualize their OCs! there are nicer & better ways to say you find a character attractive, than saying ‘I would totally bang that’ or w/e

I’m probably-hopefully preaching to choir here. but it’s really important to consider how your words & actions are gonna affect other people

consent comes in many forms, in many contexts

anonymous asked:

I had a question about the empathy post you reblogged. I heard a while ago (and I don't remember where) a speech where somebody said something like "I think every failing in human history is a failure of empathy" - this made sense to me (in that if people took a second to recognise the humanity of other people, they are far less likely to do something that hurts others), but I am neuro-typical and I don't want to cause harm if that statement overlooks something - can you/your followers help?

It’s far more complex than that, and it throws people who have empathy conditions & disorders under the bus. Empathetic capability does not necessarily make one a good person, and a lack of it does not make one a bad person. You can care about people and about how your own actions affect others without necessarily understanding what, how or why other people feel the way they do.

I think it’s quite dangerous to assume that just because someone understands how someone is feeling, they are a good person. For example, a person lacking in empathy may be incredibly careful about what they say because they are aware that they are not very good at accurately judging what others are feeling. On the other hand, abusive people often prey on other’s feelings and deliberately manipulate people in order to make them feel inadequate. And one might be incredibly empathetic to friends & family whilst also using dehumanisation to strip humanity (and therefore not applying that empathy) to oppressed groups.

Empathy can be helpful, but it is not in itself a judge of character, and there are a bunch of other complex factors to consider. I do not have an empathy disoder/condition so if anyone who does would like to weigh in, they would be more than welcome to do so.

can shippers just, like, come clean as a whole

instead of bending over backwards trying to explain how pedophilia is morally just in this particular situation, instead of trying to seem like you are the better person.. just say what you really mean

that you don’t care about the repercussions of your actions and how they could affect others. you don’t care if pedophilia is wrong or that fetishizing minors is fucked up and no matter what we say you’re still going to do it. just say it.

Person of Interest ask meme

inspired by this funny and friendly lady @tingggmusic

Root: do you believe in God? And do you believe in aliens? Explain

Bear: what was your favourite toy when you were a kid?

Madame Control: in matter of work, it’s more important to you following your own ethic/moral beliefs without betray them or…you know, keep the work because you have to pay the bills/aka willing to compromise for more pratical needs?

Carter: what is the cause you feel you are most loyal to?

Kara: when hurted do you hold a grudge or let it go?

Finch: if you could invent one thing that would improve the humankind lives what would it be?

Zoe: ideal dinner date? (not exclusively romantic,can be friends,alone,family)

Elias: how did you met your current group of friends?

The Machine: chose one > you know every information possible but you are not be able to act in any way or you are constantly in a bliss but your actions can affect greatly the lives of others by every means

Shaw: if tomorrow you could feel just one emotion what would you choose (except happiness i mean, i see you there smart asses)?

Martine: tell one carachteristic of yourself that is perceived as a flaw but you believe it’s a quality instead

Greer: favourite supervillain of all the time (from tv,books,cinema,anything)

Dominic/Brotherhood: chose one > you are the king of the criminal life with power and richness but you have to hide by the chasing of the authorities or you are a common person with a life not as exciting, you are not rich nor powerful, but you live in freedom

Nathan: if you could give a gift to someone right now what would it be and to whom?

Grace Hendricks: who is that one long time friend that you see very rarely but you are very close with?

Reese: do you practice any combat arts? If yes, which? 

Leon: tell the 3 worst ideas ever you have had that then backfired when in action

Fusco: who was/is that one person that you feel was/is an advisor in your life?

Samaritan: if it was free and you did not need to work to live ecc, what is the study field you will start attending?

Claire Mahoney: what’s your favourite board game?

HR: you have betrayed someone and you deeply regret it. This is your anonimous occasion to apologise to them

if youre straight i highly encourage you to look into why you like slash so much. think critically about what youre doing and how it affects gay men and how you and other perceive them. think about why you like reading about gay men having sex so much.

think about how your actions affect others and how you actually view real gay men instead of just fictional characters, and how your interest in slash affects that.

Emotional & Life Skills Necessary for a Healthy Marriage

  1. An ability to know and name your emotions at any given time.
  2. An ability to communicate your emotions verbally and directly.
  3. An ability to manage the full range of your emotions without acting out destructively toward yourself or others.
  4. An understanding of what helps you to manage emotions, and a willingness and ability to seek those supports when necessary.
  5. An ability to be emotionally present for a loved one even when you are unable to do anything to fix his or her pain or suffering.
  6. An ability to see how your actions, even when well-meant, can sometimes negatively affect others.
  7. An ability to apologize and take responsibility for the way your actions affect others.
  8. An ability to communicate verbally, directly, gently, and respectfully to others when [they hurt you].
  9. An ability to receive critical feedback without blocking it ….
  10. An ability to identify what you need or want from others and communicate that verbally and directly.
Everyday is a new beginning. Treat it that way. Stay away from what might have been and move on. Don’t let negative words or actions of others affect your smile. Decide that today is going to be a good day

friendly (and important) reminder that there is a big difference between

“doing this thing would upset my significant other, so I won’t do this thing”

and

“my significant other won’t let me do this thing, so I won’t do this thing”

the first is acknowledging that your actions have consequences and opting to not take action that negatively affects others; the second means that someone else has stripped you of agency to choose your own actions

so

(1) Don’t say the second when you mean the first

and

(2) If you mean the second, you need to get away from that person, because that is abusive behavior