your shorts

Cock block.

Simon and I were cuddled on the couch, taking all of it up much to the annoyance of the guys.

“Si?” I asked him with a fake pouting face. He tilted his head. “Can we go to your room?” He pecked my lips.

“Yeah, let’s go.” He picked me up, despite my protests of being too heavy. 

“Si, you’re going to break your back,” I yelled as he started up the stairs. He just ignored me. 

After we got to his room, he threw me on the bed and closed his door. We crawled under the covers together and he turned on the TV. After 10 minutes into the show, Simon started his shenanigans.

“You know,” He started kissing my neck. “we could do something much more exciting.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked, slightly teasing him. “What would that be?”

“Come on Y/N, your legs in those shorts are killing me.” He rubs my thigh, still giving light pecks on my neck.

“Ugh,” I feign annoyance. “I guess.” 

He immediately sucks roughly on my neck, squeezing my thigh. I whimper a little at the harshness, unable to make any noise. He then crawls on top of me. Simon and I were always big on make outs and teasing rather than straight sex.

 He took off our tops, sucking down my stomach and chest. I moved my hands down his chest and felt him quiver under my touch. I pulled his dog tags, so we were closer and violently kissed him, dragging his bottom lip between my teeth. He moaned and pressed his lower half onto mine, which in turn triggered me to raise mine. Just as Simon was taking off my shorts, JJ burst in the door. 

“Hey, guys, I just thought of a funny j-oh…” He stopped halfway through the sentence. Simon and I were both breathing heavily, I barely covered except my bra and shorts and covered in hickeys. Simon did the obviously reasonable thing and lied down on top of me to cover me up. For some reason, JJ was still here.

“Leave!” Simon yelled, head in my neck, obviously embarrassed, which makes two of us. 

“Right…” He said slowly, walking out the door in a dazed state.

“Close the door!” Simon yelled to which JJ quickly shut the door and ran downstairs, probably to tell the guys about what he just witnessed. Simon groaned in annoyance. 

“We’re not having sex, are we?” He asked disappointingly, rubbing up and down my sides. 

“Surprisingly, JJ seeing us get it on kind of killed the mood, Si.” I laugh, putting my top back on. After he put his on, I saw his neck.

“Fuck.” Usually, we always avoided hickeys on the neck area for video purposes and the guys teasing us. I don’t even remember it, but apparently, I left giant one right above his collarbone. He looked confused, so I pointed at the mirror. In doing so, I realized he had done me so much worse. I basically had a ring of them around the base of my neck, to high to cover up with a shirt. 

“Minter, look what you’ve done!” I yell playfully. 

“What I’ve done? Look what you did to me!” He pushes me lightly. 

After laying on the bed for a while, I interrupted the silence. “You know, JJs already made some extravagant story about us. We should go dissolve the rumors.” He looked at me like I was crazy. “We can’t stay in your room forever, let’s just go face the judgment.” I stood up and pulled him, and he reluctantly followed. 

“So, yeah, he was like choking her a little, and he had her handcuffed, and-.”

“JJ, stop lying.” Simon rolled his eyes. “There were no handcuffs involved or choking or any other shit that you said before we came down here. We don’t use toys, we’re all natural.” 

I blushed profusely. All of the guys were obviously staring at my neck. Finally, I burst. “Just say it!” 

“Oh my god, Simon.”

“She looks like an octopus strangled her!” 

“You were only gone for 20 minutes!” 

“There’s not more are there?!” 

“All of her blood is probably there!” 

“No, that’s not it, Y/N, lift up your shirt,” JJ demanded. I shook my head. I could only imagine how much more were on my stomach. He eyed me down, and finally, I gave in. As I lifted up my shirt, everyone, including Simon gasped. 

“Again, you only had 20 minutes!” 

“There’s like twenty of them!” 

“You bruised her sides!”

I quickly pulled my shirt down, and hid in Simon’s chest. 

“Oh my god, there’s bruising on her thigh, Simon, Jesus!” Josh pointed out. 

“God, JJ, you’re the biggest cock block ever!” Simon yelled jokingly as he hugged me. “Serious question, though,” He whispered in my ear. “Can we have sex tonight still?”


You were ecstatic; your boyfriend of almost a year, Spencer Reid, had finally worked up the courage to introduce you to his colleagues. You knew his fear stemmed from not getting his hopes up, bridging his worlds and just wanting time with you to be separate from work, but you were happy he finally wanted to merge the two world a little. The timing could not have been better; you knew his BAU team members were his favorite people in the world, besides his mom.

“Y/N! They’re on the way! Everything’s all set up and the foods all ready! Are you ready?” Spencer was a bundle of nervous energy. You could tell he was exceptionally excited and nervous and you wanted tonight to be perfect, too. 

You smiled and looked at your reflection in the mirror, wondering if your dress- short, black, loose but v-neck- was showing off too much of your chest. You went out into the living room to ask Spencer, whose eyes just about bugged out of his head.

“Y/N!” he whined, “that’s not fair. I’m about to call everyone and cancel!”

“I can change,” you offered, teasing now.

“Not a chance in hell!” Spencer declared, “I can’t to be asked how on earth I have such a hot girlfriend.”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang and you went to greet your guests. It was a tall, muscular man and a shorter woman with blonde hair and a bright green dress on. Derek and Penelope.

“Hi!” you greeted, hugging them both, “you must be Derek and Penelope. I’m Y/N. Spencer talks about you constantly, it’s lovely to finally meet you!” You gesture them into the apartment and can tell how surprised they are. Is it your appearance or your outgoing personality or both that has them stumped.

You sit down and chat with them and, of the course of the next 40 minutes, the others arrive. Hotch, Rossi, Prentiss, JJ- you’ve heard of them all before but you’re thrilled to finally meet them. The night was going extremely well- they all enjoyed dinner and the wine was flowing. You made sure everyone was drinking as much as they wanted to, filling a glass for yourself that you never actually touched.  You were having a wonderful evening, so filled with joy. And you were even more thrilled when you heard Hotch talking to Reid and Rossi in the kitchen.

“She’s a delight, Spencer- so warm and engaging. I am so happy that you’ve found one another.” Rossi nodded in agreement, patting Spencer on the back.

“T-t-thanks, Hotch, that means so much,” you can hear the pride in your boyfriend’s voice, “I can see myself spending my life with her”. You feel your stomach flutter lightly at that, and decide there’s no time like the present.

“Hello everyone!” you say loudly and suddenly, all eyes are on you, “thank you so much for coming tonight. I’ve heard such wonderful stories about each of you and I’m so happy to finally meet you all.” a chorus of “hear hear”s went around. When they stopped, you continued, “Now…I have a little something for Spencer that I didn’t want to give him without his family around. Excuse me!” You caught Spencer’s eye- he looked truly confused- but he and the team watched as you disappeared into your and Spencer’s bedroom for a moment.

When you reappeared, you handed Spencer a long, thin, black velvet box. His eyebrows rose in surprise, and the BAU members looked on curiously. When Spencer opened the box, he had the most Spencer reaction you would imagine.

“Are you sure?” he whispered to you, tears in his eyes instantly. You nodded, and felt Spencer fall to his knees and wrap his arms around your middle. Everyone else remained shockingly silent until Spencer cried out, “I’m going to be a dad” and held up the pregnancy test.

Then, before anyone could properly react to that news, Spencer was no longer wrapped around you. Penelope- who’d been mid-run toward you both- stopped and her eyes widened. You looked down and realized why. Spencer was holding a small, black velvet box up at you.

“Y/N,” he started, choking on his words, tears streaming down his face, “you’ve sufficiently stolen the show and nothing can make me happier than being told I’m going to be a father. But, I can’t wait. I wasn’t planning on waiting beyond tonight and now I simply can’t. I invited these people- my family- here because I wanted to ask you to be a part of it, forever. I love you Y/N. Marry me.”

Members Announcement

First, we would to thank everyone who applied!It was a difficult decision to narrow it down to 25 but at some point and time we will reopen applications! We took a look at each and everyone who applied and we’d to welcome the new additions to the team!

say hi to the new members!

what to do now:

  • send us your email to join the net. You can send it to @maruadurs, @nargles or @lnjeghafa  
  • send us your kik info to join the chat (completely optional)
  • follow the other members (also optional)
  • send us your name & short description for the members page. 
  • start using the tag #nevilledefensetnet for your creations.

That’s it! Congrats to everyone who was selected. We will probably reopen member applications at some point soon so don’t worry if you weren’t selected the first round. We apologize for the delay, we’ve been busy with school and such but we’re excited to get the net going! Congrats all! <3

lehnshit replied to your post “CMS is bisexual, not gay. #stopbierasure #whyisthisstillhappening???”

jfc dude don’t say q*eer like it’s an overarching term for the lgbtpn community!!!!!! gotdam!!!!!

dude don’t say “lgbtpn” like it’s an overarching term for the lgbtqiapd+ community!!!!!! gotdam!!!!!

oh wait… it is. just like the way “queer” is, in fact, also an umbrella term.

i understand that some people don’t like that word and may even consider it a slur, but i prefer to reclaim and use it openly and in defiance of its history and this is my blog so i will. i’m not forcing you to use it, but i prefer it. you can do as you please and i will do as i please.

in short: your objection has been noted, considered, and dismissed

anonymous asked:

ma'am why do u know Garfield so well i feel like i should fear your power

short answer is when i was growing up it was the only comic at the library that didn’t have titties in it

anonymous asked:

Can you do the "who were you with" one pleaseeee?

He smelled different. Like clean laundry and not his cologne mixed with his deodorant and slight regular man smell. You never thought that Phil would cheat on you. You put your whole heart into this relationship. After a huge heartbreak and the thought that you could never love again. That was until Phil came into your life and saved you. Now here you sit on his bed having the feeling that something wasn’t right. You never felt like you didn’t give him enough attention. Your future together fit perfectly like a puzzle piece. He had been going out a lot more and coming back at odd times. He would only answer your questions in short quick little sentences. You literally felt the pain in your chest from the thought of Phil being with another woman. Just as you felt the tears start to stain your cheeks you heard Phil turn the knob to his room. You could tell he was surprised by your presence as he did jump a little from seeing you.

“I didn’t know you were coming over this evening. I wish you would have told me. I would have come home earlier.” Phil made his way to the other side of the room as he started to undress. He hadn’t noticed the tears on your cheeks until you looked up and found the bravery to finally speak.

“Who were you with?” This gained Phil’s attention quickly as he made his way to you kneeling beside you.

“What on earth do you mean? Why are you crying y/n? Are you okay?” He hadn’t answered the question.

“Where were you? Why have you been so distant? Don’t you know I fucking love you? If you’re cheating on me end it fucking now and don’t string me along. I can’t take another heartbreak, Phil.” Phils face turned to shock from your words. He went to brush your tears away but you moved from his touch. You didn’t want him to comfort you.

“I was out learning how to dance. I know this sounds crazy but I wanted to learn for you. I know how much you love to dance and at the last wedding we went to you looked so sad because we couldn’t dance as well or even close to others. I would never cheat on you. I wanted to surprise you with my new killer moves.“ You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You felt like the worst person in the whole world for thinking he was cheating when in reality he was learning how to do something that you love.

“Really? Phil Fucking Lester, are you lying to me? Here I am thinking the fucking worst and you are out taking dance classes?” Phil nodded his head as he sat beside you on the bed now finally being able to brush the tears away.

“ You were in a relationship with a manipulative bastard that strung you along. You saw the signs and tried to save your heart. Just know that I would never hurt you. I’m so madly in love with you.” The tears flowed a little bit more and you sat there with a real life angel that you could call your best friend and lover.

anonymous asked:

So, uh, hi! It's like the middle of the night for me right now, but I'm not doing too great, so I'm just staying awake. I love you and your blog, by the way - your art is nothing short of incredible. <3 Just wanted to drop in and say hi.

Thank you so much aaaaaaaa <333

Don’t stay up too late now and hope you get to have a good sleep eventually ! ;v;

anonymous asked:

Pentacle and pine cone?

explain your craft.
in short, i practice cosmic witchcraft. i draw energy from planets, stars, and other celestial bodies like black holes and supernovae. i worship the planets, esp saturn and neptune. i time my spells using planetary hours and lunar phases. 

do you meditate?
not as much as i should. i did it a lot when i first started practicing witchcraft though.

tagged by: @rosannesarcher
tagging: @wildcardkinshi || @invisibleimpossibilities || @unhappycuttingwit || @quiveringshaft || And anyone else!

name: Vanessa
alias: Nessa, Mom
gender: Female
place of birth: ‘Murica
spoken languages: English
drink / smoke / drugs: I am a social drinker but thats about it!
likes: Fire Emblem, Reading, Video Games, Money
fears: Spiders and heights. Screw that noise.
personality traits: Pessimistic mofo. Active listener. Fun Loving. Sleepy.
disorders: Don’t believe I have any.

hair colour: We blonde folk~
eye colour: Hazel
height: 5′1 (I’m not short YOUR short)
tattoos: I have two! I have the Brand of the Exalt on one arm and the guild symbol from Fairy Tail on the other!
piercings: Used to have my ears pierced but then cat ate my earrings and I was just too lazy to replace them. So no more.

siblings: I am hella old. I have two hella younger siblings. Yes. All same dad and momma.
parents: Just me madre and old man.
children: None and no plans for any. I can barely take care of myself fam.
pet: Two dogs and two cats. Though one of the dogs is my mom’s and the one cat is my sister’s. Technically.

sexual preference: Bisexual as hell
relationship status: Single and no desire to mingle.

I was tagged by @crutchieheadcanons bless

•What is your name?
Sam, short for Samantha

•How old are you?
18, 19 in less than a month

•What kinda blog do you run?
This particular one is dedicated to DEH but I have a few others that are either just random or dedicated to other fandoms

•What is your biggest nerdy obsession?
I don’t know about nerdy but my biggest obsession at this time is House MD (actually house is a pretty nerdy show ngl)

•What is your favourite character of all time?
Oh god this is so hard because I’ve had so many different favorite characters???? Aaaaaa I honestly can’t decide so I’m gonna go with my most complex and most recent favorite character which is Greg House

•What is your favourite book of all time?
Probably Every Day by David Levithan

•What is your favourite magical creature?
Griffon. I’m not sure why but I’ve always liked them

•What made up object do you wish was real?
Uh I have no idea but the person who tagged me said a pill to cure disease so that’s what I’m gonna say too

•Where do you wish you went to school?
Again gonna copy and say Hogwarts bc,,, Hogwarts

•What character do you want to marry?
I have never considered this? I don’t know.

•What is your favorite song?
Ever??? I don’t know but recent favorite would be Low Light by Aquilo

•What are three facts no one knows about you?
There’s nothing that no one knows about me so I’m just gonna say facts that people on here don’t know… I’m a high school lighting and sound director for musicals, I have two dogs, and I don’t have a favorite color at all

•Least favourite book of all time?
Watership down hoo boy

•Which Characters are your role models?
woah ummmm I honestly don’t know? I’m gonna think about this and edit it later when I have an answer

•Favourite Video Game?
I’m a sucker for skyrim

•Are you proud to be a nerd?
heck yeah

I’m tagging @brolokhov @role-ofa-lifetime @dear–evan-hansen @evanhansenz @evannhansenn @officialwemo @dearalanabeck and @wickedboots and also anyone else who wants to do this!!!

To be clear:

The entire issue with Sirius’s height is not the existence of the “Sirius is short” fanon. It’s that people are perpetuating the misinformation that it’s actually canon. It’s a consistent description and if you are cool with randomly ignoring whatever bits of canon you don’t like, you have my fullest sympathy (because there’s plenty of stuff in canon I’d like to ignore, even though I generally try not to.)

So have fun with your short Sirius fanon. But fanon is not the same thing as canon. It’s not even the same thing as a headcanon.

Like Remus being taller could be considered a headcanon. It doesn’t contradict canon (even if I personally find it implausible given all information provided.) Sirius being specifically short is fanon. It’s not even film canon (he’s average height in the movies.) It’s just a thing fans made up. Lots enjoy it and that’s fine.

It’s just not book canon and lots actually think it is. I just want to dispel the misinformation. Facts are empowering, especially in these times (even if it is just a book :P)

Life’s too short to worry about your mistakes, just focus on your accomplishments. Trust me, you’re doing fine.


@LaurenJauregui: When you have to respond to your waiter’s facial expression after you tell him you order with “I’m hungry, don’t judge me.”