your reaction =)) i can't why are you checking yourself out and even trying to make it look good

a long, lonely while, part iv

for @theappleppielifestyle

Bruce knows a thing or two about being touch-starved.

The first year after the Other Guy had happened, he’d been shaky and ill near constantly. He was depressed, and caught everything and anything.

He’d known before his isolation that a lack of human contact could be detrimental, but it hadn’t prepared him. It was like trying to comprehend pain like a kidney stone or birth before experiencing it. Nothing could have conveyed its true awfulness.

Human contact had been a luxury he couldn’t afford and he had suffered for it.

When he’d honed his control and started trying to help and make up for the endless destruction he’d left behind him, he’d fluctuated between being repulsed by the slightest touch and over-lingering.

The casual touches had eventually become routine and he stopped having the adverse reactions. Longing for more had taken longer to deal with. Starting his work doing medicine had helped there. A steady stream of taking pulses and feeling foreheads had been a big relief.

The point is, when Tony breaks up with Pepper, Bruce recognizes the symptoms after just a few days. It’s also pretty apparent Tony’s more deeply affected by it than Bruce has ever been. He needs more than the casual touches of a friendship or acquaintance, which becomes particularly apparent after the fifth time Tony dodges the hand Bruce tries to put on his shoulder—even though he immediately looks like he regrets it.

It smacks of a problem with history older than Bruce’s.

These days Bruce is good at accepting and enjoying the touches bestowed on him, but instigating has never been his forte and he can’t quite make himself step out of that comfort zone, even for Tony.

The other Avengers are always around, coming and going from the communal kitchen or the communal gym—they’re all lonely, every one of them seeking out the presence of other people, if not direct contact—and he expects that they’ll see the need and fill it better than he can.

But one month turns into two, two months turns into three, and Tony looks more and more wretched with every passing day.

“Bless you,” Bruce murmurs when Tony sneezes one afternoon and swears under his breath, one hand moving to press against the arc reactor. He’s been nursing a cold for over two weeks and it’s starting to worry Bruce. The now-audible wheeze in his breathing is especially concerning.

“Thanks,” Tony mutters and puts his head in his hands.

Bruce sets aside his notes. “Have you had anyone look into that?”

Looking up at him with watery, red-rimmed eyes, Tony says wearily, “What, my sniffles?”

Bruce nods. He’s trying to tread carefully, but that’s not exactly his specialty.

“Why bother? Their advice is always the same—rest, drink fluids, pop a few Advil.” Tony shrugs.

“Do you— Would you mind if I had a look?” Bruce is surprised at himself for that and apparently so is Tony—he looks up, eyebrows raised.

“Knock yourself out,” Tony says with a smirk that has a shadow of his usual attitude behind it.

Bruce clears his throat, then gets to his feet and moves over to where Tony’s seated because he’s committed. Think of him as any other patient, he tells himself and that helps settle him. He reaches for Tony’s wrist first, curling his fingers around it to check his pulse. “How long have you been feeling under the weather?”

“Coupla weeks.”


Tony’s skin is slightly clammy and his pulse is fast, so there’s that and—

“Headache, general aches, coughing, sneezing, chills on and off. Fatigue. You know. Sickness.”

Bruce lets go of Tony’s wrist, frowning slightly. He has a stethoscope around here somewhere and he’d like to hear Tony’s lungs. “Two weeks is a long time for a cold.”

“You’re telling me,” Tony mutters.

After looking in just two places, Bruce manages to find the stethoscope. He hooks it in his ears and gestures at Tony. “Can you lift your shirt?”

“Things don’t sound the same in there with my little attachment, you know that, right?” Tony says, but he lifts it up all the same. Bruce is careful to school his expression and not to stare, even though the sight of that hunk of metal embedded in Tony’s skin makes him feel a little nauseated.

“I’ll never know if I don’t try,” Bruce tells him and flashes him a little smile.

“I can see your biology boner, and, boy, it’s a doozy.”

“Shh,” Bruce murmurs, distracted by the noise of Tony’s chest. The arc reactor makes a steady thrumming noise that nearly drowns out the sound of Tony’s heartbeat and breathing, but after a minute or two of listening, Bruce is pretty sure he can make them out well enough. “Take a deep breath,” he asks.

Tony humors him and breathes in as deeply as he’s able—it makes him cough with a crackling sound that Bruce knows immediately is bronchitis.

The coughing doesn’t stop for nearly two minutes, and by the time it’s over, Tony is clutching Bruce’s arm, gasping frantically for breath. Bruce may not be a touchy guy, but he puts a hand on Tony’s back and rubs it, trying to provide what little comfort he can. “There you go,” he says as Tony finally wheezes his way back to a normal breathing pattern. He cups his hand around the back of Tony’s neck and Tony’s head sinks down to rest on Bruce’s chest like the mere weight of it is too much. “You need to be medicated,” Bruce says and Tony breathes, “Sure.”

He doesn’t move, and Bruce doesn’t make him.

It’s not a solution for Tony’s depressed immune system, but it’s something. Bruce doesn’t know how, but the touch starvation needs to be addressed.

Tony can't—and shouldn’t have—to go on like this.

So here’s the thing. I’m such a Louie. I absolutely love the bones of that boy. Seriously. I’ve paid far too much money to breathe the same air as him, taken far too many photos of him, cry with you all daily about his voice, and about how beautiful he is inside and out. I literally think the sun shines out of his arse. Only 17 year old Harry Styles could rival me in the gazing adoringly at Louis stakes. There really is no contesting this. Don’t even try.

Here’s the other thing, though, some of his actions between June of last year & Freddie’s birth made him look like a bit of a dick. Find out you got a girl pregnant and then pop to Glastonbury for a hook-up with another girl? Check. Invite said pregnant girl to London for your shows and then head home from a club with a gaggle of other girls? Check. Start up a relationship with another girl just as you’re about to become a Dad? Check. I’m not saying this is how those things went down, but that’s how they could have been perceived. And so I of all people know it’s hard to accept that this is how our Louis might act (or might have wanted people to see him act). Hell, it’s why always wondered if Briana’s baby may not turn out to be his. The thing is, though, Freddie is his. Louis has told us. A birth certificate has told us. Freddie has Louis’ surname, for goodness sake. Louis has moved his life to LA to be a Dad, and we’ve seen him doing just that. He’s brought his whole family to meet Freddie, and now his friends. He’s snuggled up with his son to watch the football, and shared that with us. Yes, he might not be who you thought he was (or horror of horrors he might make a few mistakes along the way), but he’s still Louis. He might be the best Louis we’ve known.

To those of you claiming Freddie can’t be a) real or b) Louis’ son because Louis is allowing his son to be ridiculed, I have one thing to say. Louis isn’t allowing anything. YOU ARE RIDICULING HIM. Just think about that for a minute. You’re ridiculing Louis’ son. You who claim to love him the best ARE RIDICULING HIS SON. And you know what? Part of me wants Louis to snap and call you all out (that gives no shits attitude is one of the things I love about him) and part of me is so fucking proud of him for ignoring you all and just unashamedly living his life. Sometimes it’s just better to say nothing. There’s an analogy Louis would love from the 1998 World Cup where David Beckham behaved like a complete dick, acted rashly in a match against Argentina and got sent off. England lost and crashed out of the Cup. I can’t begin to describe the reaction in England and via the press. People were literally burning effigies of Beckham in the streets. Some of the songs sung at Old Trafford were brutal. Beckham was public enemy no. 1. He said nothing, and at the time I couldn’t understand it. But, he just put his head down, worked hard, continued to be the brilliant footballer he is, and won back our respect. In 2000, he was named as England Captain. Right now, Louis is just living his life and ignoring those of you who can’t accept him for who he is, who can’t accept his son. And I absolutely applaud him.

As for me, I’m done ignoring you. This shit just isn’t right. Don’t call yourself and fan and treat him, his son and the people in his life this way. I don’t care if you don’t think Freddie is real. If you really think that shut the fuck up and then just be smug as shit should you ever be proven right. Not one of you could look Louis in the eye and say some of the things you write here. Not one of you. And that should tell you something.

anonymous asked:

I keep trying to tell myself everything will be okay if I revise but I'm scared I won't and I keep procrastinating. I'm terrified I'm going to fail my exams and I can't stop thinking about it

Hey there!

Let’s do some deep breathing to help calm you down. One of my favorite deep breathing techniques is…

  • breath in for 4 seconds
  • hold your breath for 7 seconds
  • exhale breath for 8 seconds

repeat once or twice more.

This causes an autonomic nervous system shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight reaction) state to a parasympathetic response.

Use this for panic/anxiety attacks, exams, presentations.

When you’ve calmed down and practiced deep breathing, something that I would like to share with you is a couple links that I really think can help you…

Why Grades Don’t = Intelligence:

As someone who often struggles with testing, I’ve got some tips for you on how you can prepare for your exams and some tips on how to stop procrastinating and get things done!

Preparing for exams-

  • Review your syllabus- This helps you know and understand due dates and key study notes or even things that could be on the exam.
  • Pay attention in class- This is major. Often times when big tests or exams that are coming up your teacher will share things that could benefit you during the exam. Also its important to pay attention in class because if you’re not paying attention its a good way to fall behind and falling behind sucks!
  • Take good notes- Make sure you can read your handwriting. It helps me to write in pen and color code certain topics so help me highlight key points and ideas.
  • Make studying a daily thing for you- This helps train your brain. In easier terms having a set study time really helps because its creating a schedule for you to follow and hopefully learn from!
  • Create an exam template or format that you can study from. Pretty much just like a good notes page or even a practice exam. You might need to chat with your teacher about getting a template or a practice sheet. But I personally find it helpful to create your own “pre exam”
  • When studying for exams please do yourself the extra favor and leave your phone and other electronics away from you because having the phone is a major distraction for almost everyone!
  • Review passed assignments or worksheets that were handed back to you, chances are some of the material on those papers will be on the exam!
  • Ask for help when needed! Again, this is major. Asking for help doesn’t make you less smart in fact it shows that you’re wanting to learn something new and get places with your life.
  • Take breaks when needed. When I study I study for 30 minutes then take a 5 minute break and get some water or fresh air then return back to studying. Breaks are important because everyone needs to just sit back sometimes and think.

Helpful links-

Overcoming Procrastination

  1. Procrastinate. Yes, I know what I just said. PROCRASTINATE. This might seem crazy, but I find that if you allot yourself about 10 minutes of time to actually procrastinate, your body can get over that I-don’t-want-to-be-productive stage. I suggest “wasting” time by cleaning up your study area. It is a way of being productive while procrastinating studying or homework. So, clear off you desk, wipe it down, if you’re into disinfecting like I am, disinfect the area and breathe in that wonderful 99.9% germ-free scent. If you still have time left, go ahead and go through any social media that you are dying to check or that usually distracts you while you’re working. Now you have a clean space to work in (which I find helpful and motivating) and no social media buzz tempting your brain.
  2. Get rid of your phone. Phone, tablet, iPod, whatever electronic device that is not needed for your task you should “get rid of.” Mine is usually my phone. I usually silence it and turn it upside down so I can’t see the screen. Either that, or I will put it in another room. Out of sight, out of mind. This way you will not be tempted to go through social media or play games on your phone or other electronic device.
  3. Music. Put on your best studying/ motivational music. For me, its either classical pieces or film scores. Whatever music keeps you focused and gets you in the mood to study,listen to it. Chances are if you listen to the same genre whenever you are studying then upon your listening to this music your brain will recognize that it is time to get to work.
  4. Get your work in front of you. One of the best things I can do for myself when tempted to procrastinate is to just put the work on my desk in front of me. I hate staring at it. I hate it being there. I just want to get it out of the way so I won’t have to look at it anymore. Even though I will be mentally cursing the work in my head, I’m always relieved when I don’t have to look at it  or worry about it anymore.
  5. Adjust your planner. I get it. Sometimes you just have a bad day and looking at your planner and all of the things you have left to do just make it worse. I’ve been there. I think we all have. I suggest numbering off your tasks in order of importance. Accomplish the top 3 at the least. Sometimes a heavily loaded planner can make us feel overwhelmed and want to procrastinate all of the work ahead of us. Just start with the first 3. Maybe if you’re left feeling motivated enough, you can move on to task 4, then 5, and so on. If you finish the 3 and are just completely done and exhausted mentally (and perhaps physically), that’s okay. You did the tasks that held the most importance and that is an accomplishment! It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and take a break sometimes. You’re allowed.
  6. Just do it. Nike adds are right. Sometimes the best way to overcome procrastination is to just do your work. I know, I know, you’re tired of seeing this suggestion. I’ll be completely honest, I am too. Who ever just wants to do things? Ugh. However, as much as I hate to admit it, this is usually the best method to get things done. Take for example if you’re revising a paper. Start with fixing one point, then do one more. Eventually you’ll have your entire draft revised in no time. You have to force yourself into your motivation. Once you just do it, all of your work will get done before you know it!

Hope this helps! Keep me updated? x

anonymous asked:

Oliver got her sister "killed" after cheating on her. She has every right to lash our. BUT despite that she still said she was sorry and wanted to be there for him. Now you bring up Laurel during her depression where she STILL said she was sorry.

True story: when I woke up this morning, I did the same thing I do every morning. I checked my email and then I browsed Twitter (and then I read some fic but that’s not relevant to this story so I’ll just wash over that bit).  I saw these anons, smirked, and then headed over to Twitter where I posted this: 

I got several lovely replies that made me chuckle.  Thank you, Twitter crew. You guys are real. 

Honestly? I kinda wish I’d written down last night exactly what I expected to receive in my inbox because it’s uncanny how spot on I was.  Right down to the blaming my hate for Laurel on being an Olicity fan (that’s supposed to say “bitter”, not “biter” in that second ask there). I mean, the whole reason I stuck in the bit about forming this opinion before Felicity was even introduced was to underline that my feelings for Laurel had nothing to do with Olicity (and vice versa), but that’s fine.  This person clearly can’t spell, I’m not sure I should hold them up to reading comprehension as well.  Plus, I suppose I should give props to them for finding then post since I went to lengths to assure that it wouldn’t end up in the tags.  Which tells me they go looking for anti LL posts.  Which, omg you guys, that’s so depressing.  Stop.  Embrace the light.

I have a few minutes so I thought, hey, why not address these?  The first anon starts off with saying that LL had very good reason to be upset.  I DON’T DISAGREE.  Here’s the reading comprehension thing again.  Go back to my post and read what I said.  Oh here, I’ll just excerpt it for you: 

You see, LL had this undeniably sympathetic situation and somehow STILL MANAGED to be completely unsympathetic. 

I stand by what I said.  Because she wasted the sympathy that the audience wanted to have for her for her very righteous position by saying some of the most hurtful things.  You think her apology towards the end of the episode made it all okay?  How about the next day when he’d just got done recounting his father’s dead in front of a crowded courtroom and she basically told him the same thing again?  How about all season 1 when she continually told him what a terrible person was, how he couldn’t possibly be the Hood because he’s far too selfish?  I get it: some people lash out and then apologize.  Sometimes, that works.  Sometimes, it doesn’t.  In Laurel’s case, in my esteem, it does not work because her reactions to Oliver show me a side of her personality that I find utterly repulsive.  

Here’s the thing (and I’m about to get a little more personal than I usually do on this blog but bear with me): I’ve faced loss in my life.  Terrible, tragic, gut-wrenching loss.  And in the darkest moments, when my heart felt like it was being torn from my chest, I remember having one devastatingly clear thought: 

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

I’m not a hero.  I don’t have some grand comic book destiny, a leather jacket or a hood or a mask or anything waiting for me after I’ve endured my crucible.  I’m just an average person.  I’m not more special, no more kind and compassionate than anyone else out there.  But believe me when I say: when you’ve endured the depths that this life has to offer, the last thing you want is for more people to suffer that same fate. That doesn’t make you a good person, it makes you a decent person. Laurel did not show that quality in the slightest.  And they expect me to believe that she’s a hero?  HOW?!

I’m not saying that she had to forgive Oliver or even not be angry with him.  Again, if you notice my initial post, my issue was how she expressed that anger.  Because the things she said to him, both in the pilot and the episode(s) that followed crossed a line for me.  And it wasn’t just about Oliver and the horrible things he did to her and her family.  What about Thea?  What about Moira?  Laurel was basically saying that she wanted them to suffer as well, all because she’d been betrayed.  Is it somehow better to excuse it as “she wasn’t thinking of them right then”?  Because for me, its not.  

On top of all of that, I was supposed to believe she was still in love with him?  HAHAHA… no.  Everything I’ve said is based on her just treating him like a fellow human being.  Would you ever say that to someone that you love with all your heart?  God, you guys.  I honestly don’t know if any of you could actually say that you would, but if you can then I just find that so … sad.  Legitimately SAD.  

As for the rest of what these anons brought up: I get that they’re trying to rehabilitate her character but I’ve yet to really see Laurel do anything that isn’t at least slightly informed by her innate selfishness.  I haven’t seen her have a truly heroic moment.  I just got done rewatching all three seasons, believe me, I looked.  I wanted to give her a chance this season but it was too little, too late.