your own self

I am working on not only doing self-care, but also on not feeling guilty about it. I have many very supportive folks in my life who rock at encouraging me to take care of me.

However, there is an unfortunate theme in their encouragement.

Not just “it is good to take care of you so you feel good and are refreshed/renewed” but almost always with a closer of “and if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of others.” Now, I get it. I do. I have dependents, and it is a very “put on your own air mask before helping others” kind of thing. But at the same time it quantified my self-care as still not being for ME, but as being another step in the process of taking care of other people.

I want to latch into the idea of taking care of me because I am worth taking care of, regardless of the care I may or may not give to others. I am worth taking care of because of and for me. Just me.

infinitelystrangemachinex  asked:

(promptathon) What would have happened if Obi had actually succeeded in taking Shirayuki's hand That One Time.

Fate is a funny little thing isn’t it?

At time it’s a comfort, a knowing; a certainty you wrap around yourself like a blanket. I am meant for more, you say, because you know, you know in some deep place inside you that there is a greatness you can achieve. A greatness you will achieve. All you have to do is walk on this path, never wander, and you will never know worry greater than the depths of your own self-doubt.

(And sometimes that comfort is cold. You lay on a dirt floor, battered and broken, and you say, oh, this cannot be my end, for what is waiting for me is so much worse than this)

At times it is a cage, it is the kudzu. It grows and it grows, vines twisting up your ankles, rooting you to the spot. You do not pull away – it is too much effort to fight against your nature – but the longer you stay the closer it holds you, reaching up, up, until it wraps around your neck and chokes you, until it twines into your mouth, into your lungs, and there is no more breath to scream.

(But sometimes you need to be held still, don’t you? Drop a coin before you cross the street, narrowly miss being trampled underfoot by a carriage. You look onto the cobbles and see a bird crushed under the wheel. That could have been you, baby girl, that could have been you)

And sometimes it is a thread. A red thread, let’s say. A thing that binds. A thing that holds. It does not strangle, it just tangles, becomes complicated at parts and easy at others. A thing you can ignore until it tugs on you saying, this way.

(But that’s the thing is it not? Thread is so fragile; all it takes is a hard tug, all it takes is a blade’s edge, all it takes is a thrown shoe and

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anonymous asked:

This just in, women cannot consent no matter what. They are too stupid. They aren't smart enough to think for themselves. If a woman likes BDSM, she is a stupid moron who cannot think for herself." That's what I got from your comment.

If that’s what you got from my comment, then you’re jumping to conclusions.

I’m a survivor of BDSM myself. I know what it is like to consent to the self harm of subbing.

Women aren’t stupid, we’re human beings with flaws. 

If you feel like I was calling you stupid, maybe that’s your own inner self telling you that deep down you think your own choices aren’t the smartest ones–and that’s OK, we all make mistakes, especially when we want to believe in something that isn’t true but we try our hardest to make it true.

Fill-a-Page February day 09!

I spent way longer on this than I should have done, but oh well. It just wasn’t working so I kept prodding instead of leaving it, and Keith kept getting ~softer~ each time lmao

Look in the mirror. See that person looking back at you? That’s you. That will forever be you. During the times that you feel like you’re all alone in the universe, take a look into the mirror, and remember that that person staring back is with you. You will always have yourself.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin

I really wish people on the internet didn’t throw around mental disorder diagnoses without actually understanding them like…mislabeling something on a site like this just misleads a ton of other impressionable ppl, and it’s irritating to see someone wrongly label symptoms or justify a mislabeling with this front of infallible authority when they’re just…wrong haha

It’s better to be cautious with labeling something a disorder when you don’t actually know if that’s what it is. That includes your favorite character or someone else’s symptoms…like it’s one thing to recommend researching a disorder/asking a professional about it or having a headcanon or something, but just, remember to be humble about it

You do not need to be born a certain way to be able to show strength. You do not need to be a specific person to be able to conquer challenges. You have everything that you need with in you, right at this very moment, regardless of who you are.
—  Nicole Addison @thepowerwithin
The 10 Commandments for a Good Life

1. I accept that I’m not perfect, and there’s no perfect time. Too many people are hanging around and waiting for the perfect opportunity – or the time when they are perfect and have all the skills they need. But life rewards effort; so get out there and work hard … and eventually you’ll find that you succeed and reach your goals .

2. I can’t please everyone no matter how hard I tr. No matter what you do or how hard you try there will always be someone who’s disgruntled or upset. So, don’t look for affirmation; just do what you think’s right.

3. I will participate in something I believe in. It doesn’t really matter what activity you choose, as long as it is something that ignites your passion … as this will bring fulfilment and true meaning to your life.

4. I will learn to prioritise and do what matters first. We all get distracted by what seems to be most urgent … or something that is fun and makes life less of a burden. But if you’re going to succeed you need to set priorities. Don’t allow what’s less important to distract you from your course.

5. I will be select when it comes to choosing friends. We’re influenced and shaped by the people we spend time with. Their impact is profound – even though this is subconscious. So be wise in who you choose to be your confidantes and friends. Surround yourself with people who inspire and motivate you.

6. I will be there for others, and will help them if I can. In life, we reap what we sow – and that’s a crucial principle. That means the more that you help others, the more they will help you.

7. I will choose to focus on the positives. Our thoughts affect our feelings and the ways that we behave. If you don’t expect success then it’s likely you will fail – in your work, relationships and life in general. So listen to your self talk … and straighten out your thinking … and start to focus on the positives!

8. I will true to myself. You can’t be happy living someone else’s life. You need to discover and develop your own authentic self. That’s when you’re truly beautiful, and life feels meaningful.

9. I will live in the present and enjoy the “now”. The past is gone and the future isn’t promised. Life is happening in this moment, so seize the day and enjoy “now”.

10. I will look for the good and be thankful for each day. Life is full of gifts, if we will only stop and notice. If we choose to be thankful, and treasure all life’s gifts, then we’ll find our lives are filled with joy and happiness – and the hurts and disappointments won’t weigh us down as much.

Things will work out when they work out. If they don’t work out the way you intend, don’t fret. It is probably a reminder that something needs change or attention. It’s another experience under your belt. It’s another lesson learned. Even the best fall down sometimes…don’t be so hard on yourself. Please don’t be so hard on yourself.

You wouldn't tell a beautiful flower to grow faster, so why do the same to yourself?

Self growth is a process with no deadline. Take care of yourself and work to be a better person at your own pace. Self growth doesn’t happen over night.