your new god

Secondhand smoke kills, but not as fast as firsthand hammer. 

2x07 Theory: Malec

So I was asked to write my 2x07 theory and I think I’ve completely put everything together.

So Jace has sex with a random chick (at Magnus’ apartment, like ew we have no room for straight people here get out) and Alec and Jace have a conversation about why the hell Jace is there in the first place. I think that Alec walks in on Jace and the girl doing the do and is utterly repulsed by it. Okay so this sight may have played a hand in Alec’s thinking of sex. I’m not saying he didn’t have those desires before, I’m just saying that this had him wokeTM .

So, Alec goes to none other than his lovely little sister for a sexual consult, to which Izzy is absolutely ecstatic. (number one #malec shipperTM) She probably says something along the lines of “You just know” or something. She then proceeds to explain to him the intricacies of gay sex and he is very confuesd a) because he knows how it works he’s a grown ass man, and b) why does his little sister know so much about the intricacies of gay sex.

And then they go shopping in Japan bc they wanna get away from cockblock JaceTM and when they are there, Alec decides to buy Magnus an omamori, a Japanese good luck charm because Alec is soft af.

Magnus is shook!

and then you have Alec going in for the kill. But it’s just a quick smooch because they are soft boyfriendsTM

Then here we have Magnus and Alec cuddling up into each other on the balcony being all domestic and shit. Things from this point become erotic and something clicks in Alec’s brain and he’s just like ‘I’m ready to lose my flower leggo’ and they begin to take it into the bedroom but then Alec stops to tell Magnus that he is worried he won’t ‘be good at it’ or something like that and the Magnus will say…

And then…

They make love.

How does this story end? Well…


we all die.

DRAW YOUR OTP LIKE THIS

Your Ridiculous Fruit-God Name:

The first letter of your first name:

  • A - Blueberry
  • B - Tangerine
  • C - Cherry
  • D - Blackberry
  • E - Strawberry
  • F - Raspberry
  • G - Lemon
  • H - Apple
  • I - Grape
  • J - Orange
  • K - Lime
  • L - Kiwi
  • M - Cantaloupe
  • N - Watermelon
  • O - Honeydew
  • P - Banana
  • Q - Coconut
  • R - Guava
  • S - Pear
  • T - Pinapple
  • U - Apricot
  • V - Papaya
  • W - Lychee
  • X - Kumquat
  • Y - Prune
  • Z - Mango

Your astrological symbol:

  • Aries - Marmalade
  • Taurus - Pie
  • Gemini - Smoothie
  • Cancer - Jam
  • Leo - Soap
  • Virgo - Candle
  • Libra - Jelly
  • Scorpio - Juice
  • Sagittarius  - Extract
  • Capricorn - Preserves
  • Aquarius - Concentrate
  • Pisces - Puree 

The color of your left sock:

  • Red - the Mighty
  • Orange - the Gluttonous
  • Yellow - the Emo
  • Green - the Sexy
  • Blue - the Wise
  • Purple/Violet - the Sassy
  • Black - the Invisible
  • White - the Toxic
  • Gray - the Erroneous 
  • Brown - the Spicy
  • Teal / Aqua - the Nasty
  • Lime Green - the Flawless
  • Pink - the Petty
  • Multicolored - the Lovely
  • No sock - the Sensational
  • Other color - the Shy

The second letter of your favorite musician’s, actor’s or artist’s name:

  • A - Water
  • B - Leaf
  • C - Sky
  • D - Sea
  • E - Ocean
  • F - Earth
  • G - Celestial
  • H - Heavenly
  • I - Dirt
  • J - Fire
  • K - Lava 
  • L - Moon
  • M - Star
  • N - Sun
  • O - Wind
  • P - Air
  • Q - Lake
  • R - Grass
  • S - Tree
  • T - Ice
  • U - Snow
  • V - Volcano
  • W - Mountain
  • X - Plain 
  • Y - Sand
  • Z - Swamp

Now choose either god, goddess, or divinity to stick to the end of your new fruit-god title!

(For example, I’m Lemon Soap the Invisible Water Divinity) 

That’s it, you’re done!

Feel free to reblog :)