your mouth is weird and i want to make out with it

emeraldangeluk replied to your post “Forever wanting decent fangs.”

I bought mine by post, custom made. :)

Ahh I have like, a full front teeth style set from him, but they’re way too bulky for my mouth to wear for daily use, I could only really use them for Halloween and pictures and stuff. I can’t close my mouth with them in without looking REALLY weird. I just want some little thin single ones that don’t get in the way of my closing my mouth, don’t make my lips stick out all weird and look real.:C

Darcy/Loki, First kiss

for @valiantlyangryfoxblr

Darcy was the one who initiated it.  She was kissing him before she could stop herself.  And once she had stopped herself, the damage had already been done.  

“Oh my blob…I’m so sorry…” She wiped her mouth and looked around for an escape, an exit.  Didn’t even have to be good or make sense.  She just wanted out of this lab and out of this planet.  

Loki reached up to touch his lips, to touch the place she’d kissed him.  “Why are you apologizing?”  He tilted his head quizzically.  “Was it an accident?”  

“Yes!  Yes, I didn’t mean–”  

“Did you mean for your lips to touch me somewhere else?  My cheek?  My throat, perhaps?”  he asked, his tone silky-smooth and doing things to her.  

She shook her head, “I just meant…I don’t want this to be weird.”   

“The only one who’s making it weird is you…” He took a step towards her, wrapping his arm around her back.  His hand came up to cup her chin as he sealed his mouth on hers.  

Kissing And Touching


Summary: Being with Dante has made Ari realize two things: that kissing is weird and that he’s more ticklish than he thought.

A/N: This could have a much better title if I was more creative. This is for @pepperedfarts who wanted to read about how Dante found out that Ari was ticklish. I hope you all like it!

This isn’t necessarily a sequel to Laughing Boy, but could also be seen as one. If that makes sense.

Words: 1 279

Ari still found kissing weird. Don’t get him wrong, he loved kissing Dante, but sometimes his mind just started overthinking it, and he couldn’t help but point out how ridiculous it could be.

“Why would you press your mouth to another person’s? That’s where we put our food when we eat,” he said one day, sprawled out on Dante’s bed.

Dante was smiling in amusement at him. “You question the simplest things.”

Ari frowned. “Don’t tell me you don’t find it at least a little bit weird.”

“Okay, I find it at least a little bit weird.”

“Thank you.”

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The suitors ... "I can't sleep"

I imagine the suitors being extremely soft spoken and tender in these times. They joke, some - but only gently and they have a look of love and kindness in their eyes.

Physical contact means a lot, but it’s intimate- not necessarily sexual.

Sleep well lovelies. 💜💜💜

Giles- would bring you a cup of warm milk. He’d sit down beside you in bed and stroke your hair and lay kisses on your forehead. “What’s wrong my dear? Tell me anything love.” And let you talk through anything you needed to until you fell asleep.

Nico - he’d jump in bed and tickle you and kiss you all over your face and neck and belly. He’d do that weird thing parents do to their babies when they put their mouth on the baby’s belly and blow (makes loud squeaky noises). He’d do his signature forehead touch too.

Sid - would jokingly ask if you wanted to work it out with sex. When you rolled your eyes and said “no” he’d say “come here” and then you’d sit with your back to him in between his legs and he’d give you a neck/shoulder/back massage- he wouldn’t expect a thing in return.

Leo- he’d make some tea and grab your favorite book -or if you couldn’t choose he’d get a book of poems and he’d just cuddle up and read to you- every so often giving you a little kiss on the cheek or nose.

Albert- he’d grab Benjamin and get in bed so you could hold and cuddle him. Albert would sit at your feet and give you a thorough foot and leg massage with a special lotion and spend a long time on each until you drifted off to sleep.

Alyn - would bake some cookies and bring you those and your fave drink (milk?). He’d sit cross legged in bed and eat them with you and then he’d tousle your hair and tell you how beautiful you are. After you ate he’d just spoon with you and you two could murmur back and forth.

Louis - he’d make you sit in between his legs and he’d take your head in his hands and give you the most amazing scalp massage ever- and he’d play with your hair and nuzzle and braid it and such.

Byron - he’d also get a book- probably a book about science or constellations. He would read as you sat in his lap and laid your head on his shoulder. He’d speak soft words of admiration to you if you were upset and kiss your hair.

Robert - he’d sit up and pull you into his lap and hold you. He’d ask you what the matter was and let you talk while he ran his fingers gently over your face and neck (in a sensual but not sexual way). He’d play with your nose and ears too.

Walking In On You Changing (BTS)

“Can I request a scneario where Bts walks in on you while you’re in the middle of changing?”

I did this as friends bc if y’all in a relationship, this probably wouldn’t be as weird tbh unless you want thirsty bts

(gif credit to the original owners)

Rap Monster:
He’d freeze. He wouldn’t know what to say and would just stare at the scene before him. No noise would leave his mouth, but, you would finally turn around. Fully exposed, you would stare back at him with the same blank gaze. You’d quickly hit him out. The poor boy would still be shook, but would apologise over and over again. The sweetie would be beyond courteous and do his best to remove the image from his mind, as to not make you uncomfortable.

Originally posted by baebsaes

(bumbly awkward joon is my fave)

What had snapped you into focus was a small yelp coming from your now open door. You snapped your head to see the source of the noise and was greeted with a gobsmacked Seokjin. He looked away, throwing something to cover yourself up before backing out the room slowly. When you had finished changing, he would bow apologetically and tell you he had not seen anything. You would shake your head, telling him everything’s a-okay. He would smile, but would most likely feel bad for a lil’ while.

Originally posted by baebsaes

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“We have protocol, and those are the three questions you ask. But it was weird to say those lines because I had to say them one other time on the show, but with somebody with me, and you don’t want to stand and announce those things. They kind of have to be difficult leaving your mouth, those words. I knew it was going to come up later in the script so I wanted to make that a hard thing to come out of my mouth, so that when they fucked me over, it meant even more.” – Norman Reedus

onceandalwaysenglishmajor  asked:

"You wouldn't dare" for the fic prompt? And I'm always partial to your OCs . :)

(Aww, thank you so much for asking for stuff with my OCs! It makes me happy. x3 )

“You wouldn’t dare.” Xennariel crossed her arms and glared at Loki, the words pouring out of her mouth like venom. Loki shrugged and took a step closer.

“I don’t know, doesn’t seem all that bad to me. Would it really be so horrible pretending to be my girlfriend for a night?”

Xen huffed.

“No, I mean, it’s just…just weird. What if someone we know sees us?” There was no way she was telling him the real reason why she didn’t want any part of this scheme. She was determined to stomp her growing feelings for him down as far as she could. What she felt for him would go nowhere anyway, not when she planned to return to her world as soon as she could. They were destined to be separated. “But besides that, threatening me to get me to help you? Since when are you okay with stooping so low?”

Loki sighed and ran a hand through his dark, unruly hair. “I’m sorry, I’m desperate!”

Xen grumbled for the umpteenth time and threw her hands up.

“Fine, fine, I’ll help you, but only for tonight and I will never do something like this again. No funny business and any flirting on my part is strictly acting, I promise.”

Loki chuckled and nodded, putting his hand up in a placating gesture.

“Okay, okay, I’ll remember that. Now hurry up, this damn ball starts in less than an hour and if I’m late, people will talk. I don’t need more attention brought to me.”


Leave the first sentence of a fic in my askbox and I will answer with the next five. (or probably more if I end up with ideas lol.)

I'll be up late in the studio part 2

As you sat next to Justin your entire body was tense with anxiety. Just a couple of minuets ago you were watching him do what he loved and now you guys were alone about to talk about… well love. You guess not love, because that was a little drastic. Justin was looking at you and you were looking at the the food determining if you should stuff the rest of it in your mouth. “Y/N,” Justin said making you look at him. His eyes were soft. “What are you thinking, ” he questioned. It was weird because you weren’t sure, but you did know that the longer you sat silent, the harder things would get.
“What are you thinking, ” you shot back wanting to palm your forehead at the childish mess you were becoming. Justin smiled though, breaking his serious demeanor.
“I asked you first, ” he retorted earning a groan out of you.
“I’m not really sure. I don’t understand how I was just talking about what I want from a guy in a relationship and now we’re here. Alone,” you said. Justin shifted. “How do you feel about me,” he asked. You blinked and something in you jolted.  You just wanted him to know, but part of you felt that he already did.
“I think you know, ” you muttered. Justin ran a hand through his blonde mop of hair and sighed.
“Come on Y/N, why can’t you just be straight forward.” Your eyebrows rose and you were tempted to ask him the same thing but that would only be reinforcing his point.
“What do you want me to say Justin? That I care about you, you know that. That I love you? You know that too. That I’m IN love with you? I- I don’t know that,” your breathing was shallow and your face was hot. This was uncomfortable,  too much for one time and you stood so that you could escape, but he grabbed you. His fingers closed around your wrist.
“Hey. Stop,” he said pulling you to him as he stood.  “All that stuff you said earlier, I want that for you. You’re my best friend and I love you-,” you cut him off before he could finish. “But you’re not the one to give it to me,” you continued for him. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. This was more than embarrassing, it was excruciatingly humiliating. As you turned your head Justin began to get angry.
“Did I say that,” he asked with a sharpness in his voice. Before you knew it, your body was pressed against the wall. “I want to give you everything that you just were talking about. I want to be the one making you feel that way Y/N,” he said his voice sincere, if he wasn’t saying such sweet words,  it might have frightened you. As your brain began to process what he was saying, your heart swelled. The longing for him was back and stronger now that you knew how he felt,  but part of you was still scared.  That part began to think of all the reasons why it wouldn’t work.
“You don’t even know how you feel about Selena,” the words tumbled out of your mouth so fast, but once they were out there,  you realized how true they were. Something in Justins face changed  and he backed away a little. Another pang in your chest, but this time it was bad. You wanted to pull him back to you again, but you let your arms stay by your side
“I do know. We’re not working as of now. We need space, so…,” he trailed off. Biting your lip,  you moved back to the couch. “I don’t want to be the break you take before you go back to her,” you spoke.  Justin looked at you, his brown eyes making you want to hide.
“I’d never do that to you.  Look, Y/N, I know there’s a lot going on right now,  but being completely honest.  I’ve loved you for so damn long.  I’ve watched you date guys and have had to bite my tongue because I wanted so badly for it to be me,” he said.  You sat still, shocked. There was a long silence, nothing but the music and then, “Come here, ” Justin said.  God, his voice was so smooth, slightly demanding,  just those two words threatened to make you crumble. Shakily,  you moved over to him. He placed one hand on your waist and the other cupped  the back of your head. He pulled you closer, “Oh baby girl, baby girl, baby girl,” he whispered stroking your cheek. Your eyes automatically fluttered closed at this as chills ran through you, and then it happened. He was kissing you and you were kissing him back and your heart was beating at a rapid speed. The aching was gone, replaced with relief and excitement. Justin moved you onto his lap as you depended the kiss. He smelt, like Axe and faintly smoke. Justins hands slide up your shirt and you pushed your fingers through his hair. More. You wanted more of him, but when he pulled away, you didn’t go back. Instead you smiled, breathing wildly as he rubbed your waist.
“I didn’t want to go too far too fast, ” he said staring into your eyes. All you could do was nod. You could only imagine how crazy you probably looked so you excused yourself, saying you needed to go to the bathroom. As soon as you stepped out of the studio, you saw Ryan. He had a stupid grin plastered on his face. “How’d it go,” he asked wiggling his eyebrows. You still felt weak so you leaned against the door, eyes rolling up to the ceiling dreamily. “Well I mean, I don’t kiss and tell,” you smiled, your lips still tingling.

anonymous asked:

No I missed the twilight discussion? Damn, I just gotta say tho like, the way St*phanie My*r described kissing Edward was weird as fuck. Like, she really likened him to marble and said he was cold and hard and idk but that doesn't sound like something you want to put your mouth on nor inside you like please. Also why was Eddy boy so worried like did he fuck someone to death before? A girl needs to know.

please i’m still confused like why would i wanna kiss a stone? that was some real corny artsy white girl shit, like making yourself a $free.99 ass art installation by going to the met and making out with sculptures like ew that was corny

she was real corny

edward was a cornball

anonymous asked:

i'm so glad he called out everyone like yeah he hyped up his vid a bit but not to this extent lmao it's everyone being like 'he's COMING OUT OMG!!1" jesus, how does he not lose his mind with this fanbase?!!

He hyped it on purpose, and then went back and treats his fans like crap when they get all into it. Like no shit sherlock. Next time don’t open your big mouth. You know what they want - so why make this a big thing? This is on Dan and I blame him for it. 

See? This is the kind of stuff I get mad at. Him being purposely vauge to get the phandom all hyped, then gets all weird when they make it a big deal, and then crushes them with a video NOT ABOUT what they all want. And then the cycle starts all over again. UGH. 

He really just needs to put them in their place. FFS. 


It’s snowing outside and we’re walking along and talking, our heads tucked down into our collars and our cheeks flaming from how cold it is. You’re laughing at some stupid joke I said and your eyes are shining so bright they almost hurt to look at. Your laugh makes me want to laugh too and soon we’re stumbling from laughing too hard and losing our balance on the street and people are probably giving us weird looks but it’s okay, because we’re together.
We stumble into a coffee shop and grab something to drink and we head back out again.
And we’re going through a park with the snow falling softly around us silently when I look over at you. And you’re busy looking at a tree and reaching into your pocket, probably to grab your phone to take a picture when I surge forward and kiss you.
And you’re surprised, that’s pretty clear, because you drop your coffee and make this little noise in your mouth. But when I start to feel like maybe it was a mistake and go to pull back, embarrassed, you start kissing me back just as fiercely. And it’s still cold and we’re still freezing but right now I’m warmer than I have ever been kissing the girl with snowflakes in her hair.
—  A (winter is bearable when I’m with you)

but just imagine how annoying justin would be when you FINALLY tell him that you like him like he would probably run around all over the place like the dork he is while his pants are half way down his ass and he’s like going around to all his friends and he’s yelling in their faces like “y/n likes me!” and he would make all these weird faces with his obnoxious dance moves that made everyone laugh and cringe at the same time and esther would be chasing him around and you just have to roll your eyes at what a dork he’s being and he would not be able to contain himself and somehow he would end up on the balcony shouting it out at the world that you like him and everyone would legit have to drag his ass out from there because he had the tendency to annoy the living shit out of his neighbors and everyone would tell him to shut up because he’s being down right annoying like fr he never shut his mouth up about you and za and khalil would always tease him and poke fun at him by saying stuff like “yeah she likes you for now” or “she liked me first” just to mess with him bc justin is always easy to mess with and he would frown and get all pouty  and that would just get too cute for you so you would tell them to stop and you would kiss him in front of them all and you would immediately regret it because his ass is now telling people “y/n kissed meeeeee!!!” like face palm or what that boy is too much


Based on Prompt by felyneve90: “Hey I love your work! Could you write one where Owen tries his best to set up a surprise for the reader for her birthday? It either works out, or fails miserably, but either way it ends with the reader giggling & lovin on him to make him feel better”


You told Owen the one thing you wanted for your birthday was a night in, just the two of going to dinner and then coming home for movies. Of course, you’d also expect him to wow you in the bedroom; it is your birthday after all. However, he’s been acting weird all morning and you’re not sure why until his phone rings while he’s in the shower. You go to pick it up when you see it’s a text from Lowery.

“Do you need help setting up tonight?”

You cover your mouth to stifle the shock and laughter when you realize what that means.  He’s going to throw you a party. You thank the stars that you didn’t unlock his phone so you just place it back by the bed and go to finish breakfast, acting like you never saw it.

When he gets out of the shower you shout to him, “Babe I think your phone rang, but I’m kinda busy in here, I couldn’t get it.” You smirk to yourself and wait for his reply. He doesn’t say anything as he walks in the room pulling a shirt over his head.

“It was nothing important.” He comments, picking up a still cooling piece of bacon from the plate. “It’s your birthday, aren’t I supposed to be making you dinner?” He asks, smiling as he comes and wraps his arms around you.

“Well, I didn’t want to eat raw bacon and burnt toast,” you smirk up at him and he nods in agreement.

“Good call.” He goes to the other side of the counter and leans against it. “So I made reservations at Winston’s for dinner. Then I thought maybe we could come home and just relax.” You try to look inconspicuous and nod at him.

“Yeah, that sounds great.” You don’t know if you’re going to be able to keep this up. You’ve never had to keep your own surprise party a secret before. But you give him a big smile and pass him a plate. “Can’t wait!” you try to sound excited; you’re not exactly big on parties, but he knows that so you’re sure it’s going to be small.

Owen gets a call and turns away from you to answer it. He responds with a lot of “okay” and “mmhmm” and you smile to yourself. He’s trying so hard.

“I have to run over to the paddock for a while babe, is that okay?” He asks, as he hangs up and you try to hide your wicked smile.

“Sure, let me grab my bag and I’ll come with you!” You say, and he doesn’t disappoint.

“No!” he almost shouts. “I mean, it’s your birthday you should be staying home, not working.” He walks over to you and places a kiss on your head. “I’ll be back in a few hours I promise.” He gives you a smile and heads towards the door and you finally let out a laugh.

After dinner, through which Owen kept answering texts, you start heading towards home. You get a wicked idea and grab his free hand and placing it on your thigh. This isn’t strange behavior for you, until you reach over and place your hand on his lap. He almost jumps at the contact and looks at you surprised.

“What are you doing?”

You smile up at him innocently and say, “I’m the birthday girl, and there’s just one present I want right now.” You undo your seatbelt and lean across the seat towards his to kiss his neck. You can hear the panic in his voice and you try not to smile.

“Uh, Careful, It’s really dark out I don’t wanna get in an accident.” He looks concerned but you know it’s for completely different reasons. You just laugh in his ear and place your hand back on his lap as you kiss him and he doesn’t seem to know how to react. It’s not like you’ve never done this before, but he’s never had to walk into a house full of people right afterwards.

“Babe, were almost home, just wait until then okay?” He doesn’t sound sultry or seductive, just panicked so you smile and sit back down in your seat.

“Fine.” You say, crossing your arms like a child and you see him let out a breath of relief. You remind yourself never to tell him a secret as he’s absolutely terrible at keeping them.

As he pulls up beside the house, you pretend not to notice the tire marks in the mud that aren’t from your truck. He walks you up to the front door with his arm around you and you decide you’re not going to spoil it. He’s obviously worked really hard on this, and as much as you want to tell him you know, you prepare to fake your shock. When you open the door and switch on the lights, you hear a loud roar of “Surprise!” as your friends jump out with huge smiles on their faces. You don’t have to feign it so much as, even though you were expecting it, the suddenness of it still gave you a shock.

You smile widely as your friends come up to wish you a happy birthday and you finally take a look around the house. There’s balloons everywhere and streamers running across the ceiling and a cake on the coffee table that says “Happy Birthday” with little dinosaurs around it. You turn to Owen and he smiles down at you, arms open for a hug. You pull yourself to him and tell him thank you. The happiness in his eyes makes you smile even wider as you turn to spend your birthday with your friends.

After the cleanup and goodbyes, you join Owen in bed and he begins to kiss your neck. He’s still giddy from the party and you can’t help but let out a laugh. He pulls back at this and looks at you.

“What’s so funny?” He asks.

You just shake your head and close your eyes, but he doesn’t continue his ministrations.

“What is it?” he asks, smiling as if he’s missing out on some joke.

You bite your lip and look up at him, knowing you should probably keep your mouth shut, but you got for it anyway. “That would have been so embarrassing if I had kept it up in the car and you had to walk in the house all aroused.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him and he nods, laughing with you.

“Yeah, I didn’t count on you being so needy.” He gives you a wink and leans down to pepper your face with kisses but you laugh again and he stops once more.

“What now?” he asks, seeming amused by your sudden giddiness.

“Oh it’s nothing.” You say, trying in vain to convince him to drop it.

“No, what is it Babe?”

You look up at him and smile an apologetic smile, “Need any help setting up tonight?” You say and his face scrunches up in confusion.

“What are you-” He stops in the middle of his sentence and he realizes where he heard that before.

“You knew?” He groans and gets a frown on his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He looks genuinely upset and you feel bad.

You smile up at him, trying to bring back his smile. “Because I didn’t want you to cancel it. No one’s ever thrown me a surprise party before and I didn’t want to ruin it.”

He smiles a little at this, ”I thought I was doing so well at keeping it a secret.” He looks down at you and his eyes suddenly widen. “Wait, you knew; so when we were in the car?” He leaves his question hanging and you give him a smirk.

“Yeah, I couldn’t help myself.” You laugh as he shakes his head at you and gets a big smile on his face. He leans in and begins to tickle you. You didn’t see yourself at the end of the day to end up being tickled in bed; you expected much different outcome, but you can’t deny: today was the best birthday you’d had in a long time.

Thanks for Reading!!

There’s a certain brand of Asian American Girl that leaves a bad taste in my mouth… like some of y'all are super stuck up? Like y'all have a weird superiority complex over other asian Americans who don’t meet your standard of Asian+American?

Like one time I asked a Korean American blogger if she could help me translate something and she just straight up ignored me? Like I swear to god y'all make it so hard for me to want to hang out with other Asian girls because y'all just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

@sinbadismpleasestop “if i was op i wouldn’t want to see this shitty little comment on my post. it’s stupid and unnecessary and maybe sometimes you should just learn to keep your mouth shut.” YOU REALIZE YOURE LIKE… HASSLING OP EVEN MORE… BY CARRYING OUT YOUR WEIRD VENDETTA AGAINST LI ON THEIR POST? even if someone may be annoyed by a comment i can guarantee that an unrelated conversation on their post is exponentially even more annoying like im really screaming whats wrong with you… you have such a stick up your ass about someone that youre making a whole ‘callout’ blog and calling completely neutral commentary a 'shitty little comment’… op please get some help with your obvious self-hatred, i know the last time i got this infuriated by complete strangers daring to have personalities that didnt mesh with mine it was because i was only 18 and extremely depressed

fic where Ransom and Holster are nap buddies who like to platonically spoon all afternoon

and one time Holster wakes up with Ransom’s slack-jawed mouth pressed against his collarbone

and the sensation of it slowly gets Holster hard

and right about the point where he’s starting to think he should remove himself from the situation

Ransom wakes up and asks what time it is

without moving away, so his lips move against Holster’s skin

and Holster’s like “bro, I know this is weird? but I’ve got wood”

and Ransom is like “bro, I know this is weird? but I want to lick your neck”

and Holster is like “BRO”

and they make out


you were getting ready in the morning for work. you had just gotten out of the shower and got dressed. you were brushing your teeth when ashton sauntered in. he began to strip down when you turn to him, “what are you doing?” you mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste. he was about to take off his boxers when he looked at you, “i’m taking a shower.” he got fully undressed and turned on the water, hopping in. “can’t you wait!” you yelled. “i already have shampoo in my hair!” he whined, making you grumble in annoyance.

calum came out of the bathroom, freshly showered with a towel around his waist. he gave you a smile and you gave him a weird look from your spot on the couch. you decided to take a shower and went into the bathroom and got undressed them stepped into the shower. you wetted your hair then turned to get shampoo. you looked through the bottles and noticed all your shampoo was used. “calum!” you shrieked. you turned off the water and wrapped a towel around your body. you stomped out to the kitchen to find calum on his phone. “stop using my shampoo,” you told him. “but it smells so good,” he pleaded. “go buy me another bottle,” you commanded. “but- ,” he started. “go,” was all you said.

luke was in the shower. you groaned because you knew what was to come. you heard the water turn off and him open the shower curtain. he came out a towel around his waist and another drying off his hair. you walked into the bathroom after him and sighed. luke was always messy. he always managed to get water on the floor no matter how many mats and towels you put down. he got soap everywhere in the shower. “luke,” you told him. he turned to you, “what, babe?” “clean up your mess,” you said as you shook your head. “oh. sorry, baby,” he blushed, and stepped back into the bathroom to clean.

after a long day at work, all you want to do was get in the shower. you trudge through the door of your apartment and was greeted by an already showered michael, his hair now a new color. you ruffled his hair and smiled, bending down to kiss you. “i’m gonna hop in the shower and then we’re gonna cuddle,” you told him, stripping off your coat and shoes. you got into the bathroom and got under the hot water, practically feeling the dirt and stress wash off you. you grabbed your shampoo and rubbed it into your scalp. when you rinsed it out, the soap was an unusual color. you ignored it and finished your shower. when you got out, you looked in the mirror and saw that your hair was now the same shade as michael’s. “michael!!” you shrieked. you stomped out and michael smiled, “oh, yeah. i put hair dye in the shampoo so i could just redo it by myself.”

•requests are open!
•all writings are under the last tag!
•thank you for reading!x

There's More to a Wedding [KiKasa]

“Do you want me to come as a guy or a girl?”

Kasamatsu should have known hiring Kise Ryouta as his date for the wedding was a terrible idea the moment Kise asked that question. Flustered, Yukio couldn’t speak up for a moment, opening and closing his mouth around words that just wouldn’t come out. What kind of person even asked such questions?! Well, probably the kind who could be hired off of craigslist as a wedding date, and the person willing to hire that someone shouldn’t really be judging…

“Do I want what?” he stammered finally.

Kise giggled. “Do you want-”

“No, no, I heard you,” interrupted Kasamatasu, rubbing his forehead. “It’s just a weird question to ask. If I wanted a female partner I would have just called a girl.”

“Just keeping your options open, Kasamatsu-san~” sing-songed Kise, making Yukio frown involuntarily.

He felt like he should stress that he didn’t want Kise showing up as a girl under any circumstances, because that would be just awkward, although he would have probably appreciated the offer a few years ago. Currently, his family’s issue wasn’t with him being gay, but with him being a single gay, so he just couldn’t show up at another wedding alone. It was a matter of pride, obviously, because Kasamatsu wasn’t a type of guy to enjoy hiring people to pretend to be his dates. Ninety percent of the reason he was willing to go with a flashy guy like Kise was that he didn’t want any money, because he just liked going to weddings, and Yukio didn’t feel like he was hiring an escort that way.

The remaining ten percent was that Kise was criminally hot, judging by the pictures, so that was an added bonus of rubbing it in his family member’s faces.

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