your mother's home cooking

Stanford Surprise

Request: Could you do one where you like go to Stanford and stuff? Xx

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Getting acclimated to college was rather difficult when you decided to travel to a different country of school.  Even though Canada was just north of America, Leaving Toronto was challenging.  Especially when you were going to the west coast.

But once you made friends and got used to the amount of course work, college wasn’t too bad.  Although you missed your fair a lot.  It was the little things with them you missed; like sitting at home by the fire, seeing your dog get all excited when your father came home after a day in the office, or the smell of a home cooked meal by your mother.  

You also missed your boyfriend.  Even though Shawn wasn’t home often, due to his strict schedule as a musician, you missed him even more than you did when you lived back in Canada.  Because when he was on a break, he usually went back to Toronto to spend time with family.  And that was fine with you, you would rather have him see his family while he was on one of his short breaks.  But it didn’t stop you from missing him any more.

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You are everything I wanted when I was young.
You’re skipping stones, you’re broken bones,
You’re scraped knees when I fall from the playground. 

I’m striking matches, you’re chewing gum.
We share a cigarette in the shade of an oak tree.

There’s a bruise on your forehead from when I pushed you over.
It’s raucous. It’s easy,
It’s a hundred hours in the space of a day.
Sun on our backs with the sprinklers on, 
And your bike with my bike leaning against the park fence.

How is it justified? How is it real?
Your eyes are fire stars.
Your lips are sweet wine when I’m still too young to like it, but I do.

Down the path we take to home. 
Your house is left, mine is right,
Your mother is cooking dinner.

You are everything I wanted when I was young.
But we’re older now and the joy is brief and hollow.
Back to taunts. Back to pummeled pillows in the middle of the night,
Because being older means we understand the consequences.
It means you’ve been pushed over too many times,
But not by me,
And I wasn’t there to help you.

Meet me again when we’re younger. When the world is kinder.
Let me feel your fingers when you drag me to the park. 
Let me hear your feet splashing in the lake.
Let me run to the left and taste your mother’s cooking,
And sleep in your bed when the sun is setting.

It’s not wrong. It’s not bad.
It’s everything I wanted when I was young.
And everything I want right now.

—  boys will be boys and love other boys // t.a