Yeah, you read that right. We’re by no means requested as much as those feathery dick-muffins, but we take our job just as seriously. ‘Course, we’ve gotta go about it a bit differently. No sense in doing the same damn thing - we’re summoned for a reason.
Guardian angels work pretty much exactly how you think. They look out for you, having you trip on the sidewalk to avoid getting hit by a car and whatnot. They love tangling with the threads of fate, plucking a string here and tying a loose end there. And while they’re great at predicting things short-term, they suck donkey balls long-term.
So for every time someone’s told you “you must have a guardian angel looking out for you!” after narrowly dodging that falling AC unit, that same snobby urinal cake won’t do jack shit about that crushing heartbreak. “They need to learn,” they’ll say. “Now they’ll appreciate the next one more,” they’ll say. Fuckers have a circle jerk on their high horses while you suffer. Moral code my ass.
But that’s where we come in. Demons ain’t got the same definition of “helping.” We torture people for eternity, and we’re damn good at it. We’re clever. We’re patient. And we love revenge stories as much as you people all hate us for it all.
Guy who cheated behind your back? Boom, chlamydia. Snot-nosed nephew hit you in the nuts? Introduce his ice cream to the ground, mother fucker. But our favorites - what we’re known for - is the waiting game.
That teacher who always graded you most harshly? Guess who’s the only casualty of the most recent school shooting. The bully who stole your lunch money every week? Now he smokes two packs a day and can barely make ends meet. The pastor who fondled you and said God wouldn’t want you to tell? I feed him lava every Tuesday downstairs. What goes around comes around, and we’re the ones coming around.
So the next time you get it into your tiny mortal skull that demons are the bad guys, remember we’re the ones dishing out the karma. We’re the ones putting the smile on your face when your ex’s new boy toy runs out on her after knocking her up. We’re the ones getting your boss fired for using company funds on hookers and blow. Oh look at who got promoted! Such surprise, much wow.
i’ve seen a lot of these posts but none of them really aligned with my experience. so here it is, how to survive freshman year from one of many sophomores in this community. please take everything here with a grain of salt.
before school starts:
you will not need nearly as many notebooks as you think you do. please, save yourself the time and money and hold off on buying them until you know how many you need.
try not to get stuck in the school’s mindset of what classes you need. for example, most freshmen in my school (on a trimester system) take Bio 1, Chem 1, then Chem 2. i took all of those classes, but i really didn’t need to take bio 1 because i’m planning to complete my bio credits with AP Bio (and also bio is one of my stronger subjects). chem 1 and 2 are the only prerequisites for AP Bio, so what i should have done was drop Bio 1 and take a fine arts class instead to fill up those requirements. tl;dr: play to your strengths and don’t listen to the school when they tell you something is “highly recommended”.
if you’re doing a sport, please know when you have to turn in paperwork to play. don’t miss the deadline or put off your physical.
when school starts:
try not to pack too much in your backpack on the first day. paper, writing utensils, a jacket, water (reusable bottles will save your life), your lunch/money, and your student id!!! (very important) should cut it.
take a picture of your schedule on your phone. if you get a map mark where your classes are and take a pic of that too. chances are that flimsy piece of paper dictating your entire day will get torn, crumpled or lost. i’ve seen people say it looks horribly freshman-like if you carry around your schedule all day, if that’s a thing you worry about.
if you get a class you don’t like (that’s not a required class), switch out of it asap. don’t try and suffer through it for the credits. it will suck.
it’s not a big deal if you need to drop or raise a level. do what’s best for your gpa. don’t feel horribly inferior if there are freshmen taking 2 APs when you’re taking none (like me) because they probably took classes over the summer. they’re not geniuses, i promise.
PLEASE, try not to carry too much stuff in your backpack. at my school we don’t have lockers and my shoulders suffered because i thought i could bring a 1L bottle, three reading books, my thick jacket, and two large pencil case along with all my school stuff.
YOUR SCHOOL ID IS YOUR LIFELINE. try your best not to lose it, and if you do, replace it as soon as possible.
if you have the extra money, buying two sets of pe clothes is incredibly helpful. trust me on this.
don’t stress too much, it’s really not as bad as it seems.
once school is well underway:
don’t freak out if you do badly on a test. one of my friends got a d on her midterm and ended up having an a in the class. you’ll have time to pull it up.
at the same time, don’t slack either. people say freshman grades aren’t that important, especially if you show improvement in later years, but don’t let your grades go to the dogs. freshman year is the time to build good habits, and colleges really like to see unweighted 4.0s (or so i’ve heard)
be nice to your teachers. even if they’re demon spawn. my friend had a much nicer time than i did with our hellish english teacher simply because she talked to her a lot while i barely spoke at all. if your teachers like you they might be more willing to round your grade up or give you extra credit work.
do your best to always be prepared and have your stuff with you. it’s not fun having to ask around for stuff.
join some clubs. it helps with meeting new people and finding things you love. if they have competitions, it doesn’t look bad on your resume if you win any.
if your school offers the PSAT to freshmen, take it. it’s a good way to look at where you are versus where you want to be come junior year when you’re eligible for the NMSQT.
volunteer! get those hours in when you still have time. weekends are great if you aren’t too busy then.
try to have the phone number of at least one person in each of your classes. group chats are also great, because people aren’t online all the time and you can ask a bunch of people for help all at once. don’t let them distract you, though. a lot of my group chats like to wander off topic and talk about other things.
homework is gonna take a lot longer than it did in middle school. utilize the time you have effectively and do what it takes to make sure you’re ready to get to work. for example, one of my friends would always nap right after school for a few hours, and then do her homework later. i usually grab a snack and go on my phone for a few minutes to revitalize.
if you have time during school, try doing your homework then. you’ll still be in the school mindset and people will be around for you to ask for help.
try not to stay up past midnight. you really won’t need to, and you’ll be glad for the extra sleep. if you have to choose between finishing a small math assignment or going to sleep early for a test tomorrow, take the hit for the assignment and get some sleep.
people and relationships:
dating in freshman year tends to be quite ephemeral. if you don’t, good for you. no one will judge you. if you do, good for you. don’t prioritize it though, and be prepared for your friends to constantly tease you about it.
don’t date people older than you, especially seniors. i know this has been said a thousand times, but for good reason. please. do not.
making friends with people in higher grades is always a good thing, though! in my experience, juniors love freshmen and are probably the easiest to make friends with. they’re really good if you need some advice and you don’t have to worry about them leaving next year. seniors will honestly not care about you unless you see them often. sophomores have a reputation of bullying freshmen (at least in my school), but a lot of them are nice and will be in some of your classes.
for me, high school actually had more drama than middle school. don’t be afraid to drop friends and don’t be worried if you lose any; you’ll make better ones later.
a lot of the kids in my middle school went to a different high school, so i was basically starting from Ground Zero regarding friends. don’t be too concerned if you don’t click with people right away; i found most of my current friends during the second and third trimesters.
bring a charger or a power bank to school if you know you’re gonna need it. you’ll be able to charge your phone during class (if your teacher is ok with it) and if you ask around for one chances are you won’t get it.
bring snacks. most teachers are pretty chill about you snacking during class, and it’s better to have your own stuff than mooch off your friends.
the rules are more flexible. you can use your phone in class depending on the teacher, they even let you listen to music while they’re teaching if you have earbuds.
go to the dances if you want. i didn’t go to any because i’m lazy and also i like to spend my money on other things, but a lot of my friends consider it an important part of the high school experience. football games can be fun too, even if you don’t like football (like me). there’ll be band and cheer and dance if you’re into that, and you can also hang out with your friends (the ones from the school your school is playing too!) and eat really unhealthy snacks. same with pep rallies, except no food.
if your school has a newsletter or weekly news videos, pay attention to them. they usually have important information on where new clubs are meeting, spirit weeks, deadlines, events, etc.
everyone is really spirited the first month or so and then after that they don’t care. follow their lead.
talk to your teachers if you need help. they’ll do their best to work something out for you.
there’s gonna be that one person who thinks the world revolves around them and gets on your nerves. chances are everyone else hates them too. be nice to them, but don’t hang around them.
you’re not alone. everyone else is just as worried as you. have fun, and don’t sweat it.
“ did you study for that test last night? ”
“ i didn’t study, i’m so doomed. ”
“ can i borrow a pencil? ”
“ are you coming over tonight, to study? ”
“ i think i’m gonna skip this class. ”
“ are you gonna skip class with me or not? ”
“ i have detention after school. ”
“ i think they’re gonna expell me. ”
“ can you believe the teacher failed me? ”
“ i’m not leaving early, i don’t feel good. ”
“ why didn’t you sit with me at lunch today? ”
“ why are you ignoring me today? ”
“ you’ve been ignoring me all day, it seems.. ”
“ i hate sharing a locker with you sometimes. ”
“ why are you cleaning out your locker? ”
“ can i copy your homework? ”
“ did you even do your homework? ”
“ what are your grades anyway? ”
“ have you been skipping without me? ”
“ give me your lunch money. ”
“ i don’t have any lunch money. ”
“ can i borrow your book tonight to study? ”
“ are you going to practice today? ”
“ i hate gym so much. ”
“ this class is so boring. ”
“ think you could tudor me after school? ”
“ i could tudor you if you want. ”
“ can you stop raising your hand every five seconds? ”
“ some of us are here to actually learn. ”
“ i don’t wanna go to school today. ”
“ did you see the new kid today? ”
“ so, your the new kid, huh? ”
“ where you from, new kid? ”
“ i have way too much homework. ”
“ you haven’t been to school in days. ”
“ why are you always absent? ”
“ you’re going to get us into so much trouble. ”
“ i forgot my locker combination. ”
“ why did you get called to the principles office? ”
“ maybe you should consider home school. ”
“ this school’s lunch meat is so nasty. ”
“ stop texting me in class. ”
“ you never take anything serious, specially school. ”
“ have you ever passed a grade? ”
“ i made the honor roll! ”
“ i could really use the extra credit. ”
“ you’re a teacher’s pet. ”
“ did you go to try outs yet? ”
“ i need it for science. ”
“ are you going to the prep ralley? ”
“ gonna watch me play tonight at our first game? ”
“ i thought we were friends. ”
“ are you going to help me or not? ”
“ do you wanna do this project with me? ”
“ do you have a extra pencil? ”
“ do you wanna be my partner for this project? ”
“ looks like we’re partner’s for this assignment. ”
“ you spelled your own name wrong. ”
“ is that a good star? how’d you get one and i didn’t? ”
“ i really have to finish this essay, please. ”
“ you want me to ride the bus home with you after school? ”
“ my mom picks me up, do you need a ride? ”
“ do you need a ride home after school today? ”
“ are you going to walk home with me today? ”
“ i can’t believe we met each other in detention. ”
“ you were totally making out with someone in the halls. ”
“ these halls are way too crowded. ”
“ why are you always so late? ”
“ you’re late to class, again. ”
i would literally give up my firstborn child for another genderswap au bcos jane potter is so hot im deadt
Jane, flirting, tells him his hair looks like a carrot fucked a fire hydrant.
“Charming.” Liam says.
“This is the part where you say something back and we verbally spar.” She responds, leaning with one muddy soccer boot up against the side of the library. McGonagall would have a fit. He puts his hands in his pockets and pretends to look at the street.
“Not today it isn’t.”
“C’mon,” she grins, ducking her head so her hair falls forward. “You’re making me feel bad. You’ve got to say something back otherwise it’s like bullying.”
“What do you mean ‘like’ bullying.”
“Please. If it was real bullying I would have your lunch money.”
“I don’t bring lunch money.”
“Good thing I’m not bullying you then.” She says, cheerfully, and he laughs. It appears halfway through this conversation he got bored with pretending to look at the road and has started actively staring at her again. He turns back.
“Your hair looks like you shoved a fork into a toaster.” He says, and she laughs now.
“’Knew you’d give in. Now we’re both bullying each other.”
He looks back at her. “I thought you said it wasn’t bullying.”
She smirks, soccer uniform covered in mud from making unnecessary slides across the pitch every time she makes a goal, which is often enough that he can see grass burn bleeding on her knees. He’s going to ask if she needs a bandage, and then she quirks her eyebrow at him, and he cannot for the life of him remember his name.
“Evans, you are aware I can see you ogling my legs.” Liam’s head snaps back to the street.
“I wasn’t ogling.”
“You bloody were.”
“I don’t ogle.”
“Fine. Staring. Gazing. Gawking, if you will.”
“Liam Evans, staring at my legs in front of everybody”
“There is no one else here.“
“You were ogling.” She pushes off the wall, arms folded and still smirking, advancing on him. “Perfectly understandable really, they are, dare I say it, the best legs this side of London.”
He scoffs, looking at the sky and not at her. “You’re so full of it.”
“I can’t help having great legs any more than you can help having hair that looks like a red traffic light threw up on Amy Adams.”
“Whose Amy Adams?” he feigns ignorance.
“I know you know who fucking Amy Adams is.”
He swings back on his heels. “Hmm, can’t say I do, but you had better watch your potty mouth or I’m going to report you to McGonagall.” He’s looking at her again. God goddammit.
“Minnie loves me.” She’s almost right next to him now, a good head shorter, bag over her shoulder, knees still bleeding. Her glasses are cracked in the left corner.
“She won’t once I tell her how you’ve been bullying me.” He says, and she smiles. The wind blows slightly, and God, she’s fucking pretty. His fingers itch to touch her jawline, the base of her throat, her cheekbone. There is always too much space between them.
“You know the library closes at six.” She breathes, looking at him, “and my practice ends at six-thirty.”
“I have no idea what you mean.” He lies, ridiculously.
“I mean,” her breath hitches, “You wait the extra half hour to see me.”
He wants to do something dumb, like kiss her or kiss her again, but she’s far too clever and pretty and he would have no idea where to put his hands. The world is impossibly still. His heart is thudding loud enough she must be able to hear it.
A car screeches into the street and reels up next to them, almost clipping the curb. “Potter!” Sarah Black sticks her head out the window and yells to be heard over the radio, “if you get mud on my seats again I’ll punch you in the tit!” Spotting Liam, she nods and takes a drag on her cigarette, “Evans. You’re here again.”
“Well spotted.” He croaks, trying to act normal and doing a bad job. Potter’s arm brushes against his on the way to the car and he shudders.
“Wanna lift?” Sarah asks, and he shakes his head. Jane stares at him through the passenger window, and he stares back. The only reason he comes to the library is to kill time before her practice ends. He would wait in the rain if he had to.
“Amy Adams was in Enchanted.” He blurts out, and Potter grins. He’s so far gone it’s embarrassing. He would do anything to make her look like that.
Black gives him a weird look. “Don’t take too many drugs on school grounds, Evans, Minnie doesn’t like you nearly as much as she likes me.” She peels away, almost taking out a letterbox in the process, and he starts walking home, thinking about how she has practice tomorrow, and the grass burns on her knees, and the way her breath hitches when she stands to close to him.
The streetlamps go on, and in the harsh light she roars into his head, laughing, covered in mud, a dream girl unbelievably rooted in reality.
Yeah, you read that
right. We’re by no means requested as much as those feathery dick-muffins, but
we take our job just as seriously. ‘Course, we’ve gotta go about it a bit
differently. No sense in doing the same damn thing - we’re summoned for a
angels work pretty much exactly how you think. They look out for you, having
you trip on the sidewalk to avoid getting hit by a car and whatnot. They love tangling
with the threads of fate, plucking a string here and tying a loose end there.
And while they’re great at predicting things short-term, they suck donkey balls
So for every time someone’s told you “you must have a
guardian angel looking out for you!” after narrowly dodging that falling
AC unit, that same snobby urinal cake won’t do jack shit about that crushing
heartbreak. “They need to learn,” they’ll say. “Now they’ll
appreciate the next one more,” they’ll say. Fuckers have a circle jerk on
their high horses while you suffer. Moral code my ass.
that’s where we come in. Demons ain’t got the same definition of
“helping.” We torture people for eternity, and we’re damn good at it.
We’re clever. We're patient. And we love revenge stories as much as
you people all hate us for it all.
who cheated behind your back? Boom, chlamydia. Snot-nosed nephew
hit you in the nuts? Introduce his ice cream to the ground, mother
fucker. But our favorites - what we’re known for - is the waiting game.
That teacher who always graded you most harshly? Guess who’s
the only casualty of the most recent school shooting. The bully who stole your
lunch money every week? Now he smokes two packs a day and can barely make ends
meet. The pastor who fondled you and said God wouldn’t want you to tell? I feed
him lava every Tuesday downstairs. What goes around comes around, and we’re the
ones coming around.
So the next time you get it into your tiny mortal skull that
demons are the bad guys, remember we’re the ones dishing out the karma. We’re
the ones putting the smile on your face when your ex’s new boy toy runs out on
her after knocking her up. We’re the ones getting your boss fired for using
company funds on hookers and blow. Oh look at who got promoted! Such surprise,
Imagine Dipper Pines having to leave trigonometry because he was having a panic attack and started heaving
This is the only class ever that he fails
Imagine the Pines twins leaving everyone in the dust once they have to run/do endurance tests in PE
Imagine the Pines Twins not giving two shits about bullies bc they have been facing death on a regular basis and a kid their age being mean is nothing compared to a shapeshifter transforming into a lovecraftian horror version of both of them mixed together - to a point where it scares off even the toughest bullies
Hide and Seek just became impossible to win and how did they even /get/ there!?
That one camping trip where Mabel distracts the teachers (all three of them) with the cold-blooded attitude and talk of an experienced conman while wearing the widest, most charming smile so her brother can slip away
They meet back up at the bus five hours later - the kid is covered in sweat, scratches, has run out of the neon-colored band-aids his sister gave him for the trip and has a very very weird animal (?) skull peaking out of his backpack that hardly anyone notices bc they are distracted by the glass filled with weird geodes the kid is holding
Don’t play cards with Mabel Pines if you want to keep your lunch money. You don’t play over money? Trust me. You will.
Waddles is the new school mascot and thus allowed to attend class (your future will be much brighter if you accept this as fact) and he’s probably the safest one too because no one will steal from the Pines Twins.
Chanting becomes a school-wide habit among the students very quickly.
You do not want to know where these weird punctual scars on Dipper’s arms come from, or any of the others. End of discussion.
“Would you like to tell the class what you did over the summer?”
Dipper freezes -faced death on a weekly basis, got possessed by a demon, scarred for life by a shapeshifter, learned how to con people into buying useless stuff, aliens are real, travelled through time, got almost eaten by a dinosaur amongst other things, nearly had my memories deleted, saw the end of the world and saved it, falling to my death because of the giant robot belonging to the creepy kid that crushed on my sister who also tried to kill me with his psychic powers- Mabels to the rescue
“ I knitted a bajiollion sweaters and wore a different one every day!”
Don’t even /think/ about stealing that hat, I swear, I saw that Pines kid jump-attack the first -and only- guy who tried to
He didn’t have a chance
Based on this, rumours start going around until one day a kid is brave enough to walk up to the infamous Dipper Pines and ask if he can /really/ fight a bear with just his hands and Dipper just chuckles, glances to the side for a moment and asks how many heads that bear you are referring to has with the impression of making an insider-joke before walking off
Rumours go even wilder after that and Dipper keeps giving weird and mysterious answers bc this is okay, he and Mabel can only laugh about the things the other students come up with, because it will never even compare to the horror these two went through
You meet Mabel Pines the first time and leave twenty minutes later after a friendly chat, with a new contact in your phone, a friendship bracelet and the promise of a new sweater that you don’t take seriously until she hands the thing to you the following day
This happens a lot
Mabel Pines does never forgot a name or birthday or any other trivia of her new and old friends
Every studemt received a valentine’s card this year and in the following years. Every. Single. One.
This is from Y/N’s POV. So! A lot of people seem to enjoy this heavily angsty series for some reason, and I really wanted to thank you so much for all the continuous love and support you give this writing <3
Word Count: 1765
Trigger Warnings: Offensive Language
Genre:Fuckboy HighSchool!AU, Angst
Dedicated to [and requested by]:@taeyongbelviso , I hope you’re enjoying your vacation, sweetie <3
You had finally finished the group assignment that was due your already most hated class, and you thought that this project would be a good start to boost your marks up.
All of that, and it was just the first week of senior year. This was really no joke.
Submitting it last night via email, you had gotten the first proper amount of rest since the year had started, finally feeling like you could breathe.
On the plus side, it was now a Friday, and that meant that after this one day at school, you could enjoy your well awaited weekend and do nothing as you relaxed.
The alarm went off but you had been awake for a few minutes, relishing the little time left before you had to drag yourself out of bed.
N: I’d lay down my life for my mother, don’t you dare touch Hakyeon. Me and Leo are already on the way to your place to give you a good scolding. Also bc Taekwoonie had too much coffee and he needs to use the restroom so pls open up.
Leo: yes wtf he’s so bipolar. Everyone knows this hamster is a freak when the cameras are off. He’s 50/50 a sadist so idk man he’s most likely got a voodoo doll of you somewhere if you try and start shit. He got some pretty long legs so you better be a track star and run quickly.
Ken: ok listen… he’s my bf and everything but he’s out here coming for our lives every time he does aegyo, and I’ve had enough. You should fight him 100 % but he’s too pretty and someone is gonna end up crying, most likely you. FYI Ravi is planning your murder rn and especially making sure no one finds a body.
Ravi: man you gotta be a serial killer to want to fight this fool. Too busy for you and your antics. Won’t even know what your deal is and ignore your ass if you start throwing punches. Next thing you know he’s spittin bars about Bobby and how no one appreciates him. Just leave this emotional bee alone.
Hongbin: sassy bean is really emo bean. Doesn’t mean any harm, you don’t gotta fight him tbh he’ll just apologize and cringe while trying to do aegyo. He’ll most likely cry if you touch him and his precious hair so pls be gentle.
Hyuk: man this kid will body slam you if you even look at him for too long, no second thought. This dude will pick you up and drag you on the floor and sit on you for like 4 hours until he’s done scolding you. You’ll end up giving him your lunch money and change, don’t even try.
Imagine: Being the youngest member of the Hale family.
The hand of Stiles Stilinski came flying from behind you to slam your locker door shut. You turned around and stared at the boy who rudely interrupted your search for your lunch money.
“You know Y/N, I could almost bet that you were a Hale!” he burst out as his brows hang low on his forehead. You clutched your books against your chest and raised your eyebrows in surprise. “Oh really? What exposed me?” you asked sarcastically.
Scott stood behind the winded up boy and tried to calm him down by grabbing his shoulder, but Stiles shrugged him off. He rolled his eyes before answering. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the exaggerated eye roll you all Hales seem to reserve for me.”
“We don’t roll our eyes at you.” you explained and gave him just that
excessive eye roll that Derek and Cora use to make to you without even thinking about it.
Stiles boiled up and pointed heatedly against you. “THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” he spits as you flashed a teasing smirk towards Scott.