your jokes are bad and you should feel bad

Okay so there’s a lot of talk about how BPD tumblr encourages abusive behaviour and stuff so I thought I’d say share my thoughts.

  • Most of the posts used as examples are about splitting.
  • Splitting is NOT inherently abusive.
  • Splitting is something that many borderlines struggle with, and it’s not their fault.
  • Splitting on someone does not automatically mean you are being abusive. How you FEEL is not abusive. How you ACT is.
  • You are NOT a bad person for splitting.


  • You should think critically about how you act and what you post - there ARE some people who joke about behaviours that are abusive.
  • Abusive behaviours I’ve seen joked about include: intentionally hurting someone when you split on them, punishing people when they upset you.
  • Other unhealthy things include being unwilling to work on your disorder and being unwilling to acknowledge that some of your past or current behaviours are toxic.

But also,

  • You shouldn’t feel bad for making jokes about your negative symptoms as long as they are not encouraging anything unhealthy.
  • For many people, including myself, BPD tumblr is the only community where it is safe to talk openly about the symptoms of this disorder, and have other people understand you.

It really upsets me to see people painting all of us with the same brush, especially considering that BPD can display itself in a number of different ways. Not to mention that most of us are actively seeking help (therapy, meds, etc.)

Angel in the Darkness pt.5

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (masturbating, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use……(alot of smut comes in later) This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 

The bright sunlight behind the curtains, stirs you awake from your deep sleep. There’s a faint smile stretched upon your lips, as you feel as if you’ve had one of the best naps in the longest of times. Your eyes are still closed shut as you try to flex your stiff muscles; only you can’t.

As soon as you tried to lift your arms, you hit something very hard and muscular. Huh? That’s weird. You can also feel that your legs are entangled, and something wrapped around your waist.

You didn’t mind the feeling, as you were still too tired to process things, and because it brought great warmth, but then you heard it; a faint grunt. Your eyes instantly shoot open, and you blush hard when you realize you’re wrapped up into Jungkook.

His face is mere centimeters away from yours, and his eyes are still closed shut, indicating he’s still asleep. You can feel his hot breath, gently tickling your red face, as his hair is all over. You peer downwards and see that his left arm is securely wrapped around your waist, as both of you were laying down on your sides. His long, thick legs were clumsily tangled with yours, and you were finding it hard to breathe since you were so close to him.


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Hey, I might get hate for this and this message might not be for everyone, but I wanted to say -

It’s okay to be going through a kind of grief right now if you were very invested in Nick’s content. Some people might be experiencing just straightforward anger, and that’s fine, that makes sense.

But I suspect some of you, like me, are struggling with your emotions. Betrayal is complex. Maybe you wish things could go back to the way they were. Maybe you’re guilty because you didn’t realize - guilty because you did - guilty because you’re not as angry as you think you should be. You want him to get fired, but you don’t. You miss his content but don’t know if you’ll ever be able to watch it again. You wonder if this is really a big deal, wonder how much your social climate is influencing that view. You want to make jokes about it and yet you hate when other people make jokes about it. You feel bad for him and feel guilty for feeling bad for him.

Maybe you experience one or two or all of these at some point. This is NORMAL.

And I want to be clear about something here: some of these emotions can easily turn into victim blaming, but use this as a learning opportunity. Victim blaming, generally, doesn’t come from HATING WOMEN on a personal level. It comes from fear, and guilt, and betrayal. It is EASY to fall into, and it can come from a place of sincere emotions, so be careful about what you’re saying out there in the heat of the moment.

I just - not ever emotion you experience in a situation like this is going to be Morally Pure And Good. And some of them should probably be worked through privately. But I want everyone to know that feeling those emotions is FINE. It’s part of the process and resenting yourself will only make it harder. You will learn and grow from this.

If you’re struggling with your reactions to this, it’s ok to step back. It’s okay if your emotions don’t immediately fall in line with your beliefs. So long as you’re thinking critically about what you put out there, don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about your emotions.

Be kind to yourself, everyone.

You know what makes Dear Evan Hansen so special and realistic and relatable? He has social anxiety and depression and he comes from a normal surrounding. I think people tend to think that depressed people go through extreme situations (abuse, neglect, drugs, traumatizing events), and while that’s true, depression isn’t always like that. But when you’re from a “normal” environment and you say you’re depressed or suicidal people tend to think you’re exaggerating and drowning in a glass of water, you get comments like “things could be worse” or “what could you be depressed about? Your life’s good” and that’s very insensitive and doesn’t help, it does the opposite: you feel ashamed, guilty and ungrateful because they’re virtually right and that makes you’re depression worse. There’s nothing particularly bad about your life, but just because there’s nothing bad it doesn’t mean is good either. And what you’re really saying with that is “I have this idea of what depression looks like and what causes it and you don’t fit so it’s not valid or real”.

But Evan feels alone because he’s invisible at school, his mother is rarely around and he thinks she hated him and Jared always tells him they’re family friends and not real friends. He may mean it as a joke since in Good For You he tells Evan he should remember who are his real friends, but when you don’t know where you stand in most of your relationships comments like that can hurt and you may not be able to realize they’re meant as a joke because when they come from anyone else they’re not, so you don’t know the difference.

Evan has a normal life but he still has depression, because that’s how mental illnesses are: they’re triggered by different situations for different people. What may not kill you may kill other people. And I’m tired of depression always being linked to extreme situations on tv shows, books and movies cause it only fuels that myth. DEH is good and real and relatable because it breaks that myth, and deals with it beautifully. When his mother finds out about how he feels at first she’s angry, but I think she’s more angry at herself than Evan cause she feels she’s not enough and she doesn’t know what she’s doing wrong, but in So Big/So Small she realizes that she’s human and she’s not perfect, and so isn’t Evan. And she accepts him, tells him that she loves him and hugs him. Instead of telling him he has “no real reason” to feel miserable.

DEH deals with a depiction of depression more close to mine than any other I’ve seen before. And I hope people watch it and realize people can be depressed in all kind of environments and situations. Extreme or not. And it’s still VALID.

Misunderstandings // Min Yoongi (ft. Jimin)

Originally posted by btsfunboyz

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (ft. Jimin)

Genre: Angst // Fluff

Summary//Request: As you plan a surprise birthday party for Yoongi with the help of Jimin, he gets suspicious and insecure about your relationship as you spend all your time with Jimin. Fluffy ending ^_^

A/N: So, I decided to try out a new thing were I actually include texts as pictures to and from the reader and the person in the story! (instead of writing them in bold as I have done previously). Let me know what you guys think of it, and I’ll make sure to do more!

You threw your phone in your lap out of pure frustration after reading what Yoongi had sent you as you gently massaged your temples, feeling a migraine making itself at home in your frontal lobes.

“Woah, what happened?” Jimin jumped in surprise, almost letting all of the air out of the balloon he had been blowing up and trying to tie for the past 10 minutes.

“It’s Yoongi – he thinks there’s something going on between you and I because I’ve been ignoring him all day trying to organise his birthday surprise” you let out a harsh, disgruntled sigh as Jimin gave you a look of complete disbelief before nervously chuckling in response.

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A Bittersweet Trickster

gif is not mine

Title: A Bittersweet Trickster

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word Count: 1,013

Warnings: fluff, slight angst

A/N: This was requested by an Anon (and around Christmas, so I apologize for the wait <3). I hope you all enjoy this Sweet Treat Saturday <3 <3 Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much!

Family was always a touchy subject for you.  Your family wasn’t the most supportive group of people.  They weren’t supportive, loving, or reliable.  You loved them because they were your family, but there wasn’t much beyond that.  You never let Gabriel come around them before because of how they reacted to your friends.  You couldn’t imagine how they would react to you having a boyfriend.  However, you were about to find out and you were worried beyond belief.

“You have a boyfriend,” your oldest brother questioned, disbelief evident in his voice.  His eyes studied Gabriel closely.  It was as if he thought Gabriel was some kind of hologram projection.  “Is there something wrong with you buddy?”

“Not at all,” Gabriel replied flatly, his lips forming a flat line.  He didn’t like your oldest brother.  He felt like he was talking to his own brothers.  “[Y/N] is a lovely woman and I love her very much.  I think she’s just the girl for me.”  Gabriel flashed you a small smile.

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anonymous asked:


may I ask why though? What did I ever do to you anon until you start making jokes like that? 😮 I don’t even know you and you expect that I should feel bad and sorry? You should be the one who’s supposed to be sorry for making that “suicidal thoughts” joke. because i have a friend who commited suicide buhfore and it just makes my friend’s death looks like a joke. so pls never make jokes about killing yourself if your physical body is not even ready to face death yet.

And My attitude towards people comes first especially to the internet, I tried my best not to make people have a bad mushroom day nor a bad first impression.

So if this ask just to get my attention, and just another way of you saying “hi” then, how are you buddy? Hope you will have a jar of cookies and a glass of milk by the end of the day. ❤ have fun and pls take care anon. I mean it.

So after debating this whole Lapis issue with @cmoontoon​ something suddenly occurred to me.

A lot of people on tumblr love Lapis, because they relate to her.
Because she’s passive, cynical, unapologetic and apathetic.

But especially the PASSIVE part. She feels bad and she doesn’t really do anything about it. Every time we see her, she doesn’t try to have fun, she looks like she feels forced to do anything.

And because this is tumblr and people genuinely believe that they don’t need to improve, but the world should instead cater to their insecurities and issues, they relate to her and think she’s “GOOD REPRESENTATION”.
I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if, should Lapis overcome this behaviour and grow as a person, half of her fans would complain about it, scream about erasure or something like that.

Compare this love for Lapis to me and my love for Papyrus;
Papyrus is better than me in every way.
I couldn’t relate to him at all, BUT I WANTED TO
I wanted to because by god I WANTED TO BE THIS HOPEFUL.

I am a person suffering from social anxiety and another crippling mental disorder I don’t wish to mention, BUT I REFUSE TO BE A VICTIM OF IT.

I was inspired by a character I couldn’t relate to, to try to relate to him better.
I gained a positive attitude unlike ANYTHING I’VE EVER FELT BEFORE, my mental health improved, my art improved,  my life improved.

This brings me to something that really bothers me about the typical millennial self-depreciating humour - it normalises a passive, negative behaviour, and that is genuinely bad for you. Repeating those jokes and constantly being exposed to them solidifies your belief that they are relatable. They shouldn’t be.

Don’t be okay with finding a character you relate to in your bad state of mind and feel content with them staying that way. You should find a character who improved and you should strive to relate to that, because if you won’t help yourself, no one else will be able to either.


The great thing about the human mind is, that you can trick it.
You can fake it till you make it. You can admire a fictional character and strive to be more like them if that’s what helps you recover.

But, you can also trick your mind into negativity.
When you keep telling yourself you can’t do it, you won’t do it.
When you keep telling yourself you’re worthless and no one likes you, you, with your own attitude, will make this happen. Don’t make this happen.

I am not simply quoting Undertale when I say you need to stay determined.
Find a reason to stay positive, and stubbornly stick to it.

PS - This is a well meaning message from a recovering mentally ill person.
I would kindly ask people to avoid discourse on this post, as it’s very stressful for me to deal with, and triggers my anxiety. 

It’s not meant to attack Lapis fans, it’s simply a response to something I’ve been seeing a lot of lately, especially with the recent episode. I wanted to get it off my chest, in hopes that it might help someone to take a more positive route.

Void - part 3

Series summary: Reader has lost her memory and Sam and Dean try to find a way to get her life back.

Summary, part 3: The boys know you better than you know yourself.

Characters/pairing: Reader x Dean (eventually), Sam, Crowley, Cas

Word count: ~2350

Warnings: angst, mild language, fire

Author’s note: Well I can’t focus on writing after watching the S12 finale, so here’s part 3 for you. For catching up: part 1, part 2.

There’s plenty of room on the taglist, so give me a shout if you want on it. :-) Tags at the end. As always, I’d like to hear what you think, so a line or two would be much appreciated!

The house was dark and rain battered the roof. You tightened your grip on the knife in your hand as you tiptoed your way through the littered living room. Slivers of light shone from the streetlights through the ripped curtains. That didn’t help much, only creating more dark shadows in the corners. Suddenly you froze to listen, holding your breath. You could’ve sworn you had heard something. A slow roll of thunder echoed through the night, but it was something other than that. You released your breath, took a small step forward and froze again - there it was. Hairs in the back of your neck stood up and you felt your hands shaking. Again. Someone - or something - was literally breathing on your neck. Very slowly you leaned forward shifting your balance. You spun around, knife at ready and slashing wildly around you. You saw a dark shape, a glint of light from an eye or a tooth. Then the knife was flying and you were screaming.

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@kokobop-seahoon asked:

Hello again! Could you maybe to a fluff drabble with prompts 7 and 8 for Namjoon? It immediately made me think of a haunted house and I thought that would be so cute. Thank you! 💕

Here you go, lovely 😘 Sorry it took so long. I had a bit of a rough day and couldn’t get my mind to focus. I’m sorry if this isn’t up to par. I may rewrite it in the future.

7: “I want to go home.”

8: “What are you scared of?”

Warning: sexual harassment (almost assault)

“I want to go home,” you declare immediately after you step into the club. It’s obviously frequented by hybrids; something your best friend had failed to mention when she convinced you to go.

“What? No!” she whines as she clings to your arm. “I’ve heard great things about this place. You have to stay.”

“You know how I feel about hybrids.” You are terrified of them. They’re basically werewolves and vampires; just invented by scientists.

“C'mon. You’ve never even met one. Give them a chance.”

You look around to club. There are all kinds of hybrids here: Cats, Wolves, Eagles. They had no problem intermingling with other species. They danced together, drank together, even - whoa - made out.

You let out a sigh of exasperation as you step further into the club. “Fine, I’ll stay. But only because after this you’ll never be able to use that argument on me again.”

You regret your decision half an hour later when you are being dragged out the back door with a Cat hybrid’s hand over your mouth, it’s claws digging into your cheek. You try screaming for help, but, of course, no one hears your muffled voice over the deafening bass of the music.

Once you are outside, he slams your back against the wall, your bare shoulders scraping on the brick. His free hand quickly finds its way under your shirt, pawing at your breast, scratching more of your skin, as you fight to get free. Your nails rake down his arms, but that just gets him worked up even more. He drags his claws down to the waistband of your jeans, causing you to cry out in pain. You’re hyperventilating now as you pound against his chest.

Before he can undo the button of your jeans, he’s being ripped away from you. You fall to the ground, deafly watching as another hybrid beats him to the ground. It seems to be happening in slow motion.

You must have blacked out, because the next thing you know, the other hybrid is crouched in front of you, dark Wolf eyes searching for injuries. You flinch away when his hand comes to your face. He pauses before letting his hand fall back to rest on his leg.

“Are you okay?” There’s genuine concern in his voice, but you can’t bear to meet his eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“What are you afraid of?” His voice is gentle, soothing even. “I already chased off the big, bad wolf.”

You glare at his attempt of a joke. “You are the big, bad wolf.”

He nods at that, disappointed. “Based on how that cat acted, I can understand why you wouldn’t trust me.”

The hurt in his voice almost makes you feel guilty. Hybrids are half human, so some of them should be decent, right? But how do you know which ones are?

You hesitantly take his hand, a hand that isn’t sporting claws. “I’m y/n.”

He looks down at your smaller hand in his, seemingly absorbing the feeling, then smiles brightly at you. You’re surprised when you see cute dimples form on his cheeks. It makes him look less like a Wolf and more like a puppy.

“I’m Namjoon.”

As he helps you to your feet you wince in pain, the movement pulling at the scratches running down your torso.

“You’re bleeding.”

You look down to see your once white shirt stained red. His claws must have gone deeper that you thought.

When you meet Namjoon’s eyes, again you gasp. They’ve gone totally black. He’s looking at you with concern, but also something else entirely. Something you can’t quite put your finger on.

“Come on,” he orders. “I’ll take you home.”

Something in his voice compels you to obey, and you let him lead you to his car against your better judgement.

You give him your address when he asks and just lean your head against the window. You try to think about anything besides the hybrid -man, he’s a man - in the car with you. Even the burning in your torso is more welcome to you. But his scent is all you can think about. Something about it fills you with calm, and longing. Longing to belong, to be loved.

You remember the stories you were told as a girl. That hybrids have one mate, one love, and are drawn to them by their…scent.

Suddenly, your head shoots up and you’re staring at Namjoon in silent horror. He just smiles at you and consolingly pats your thigh. “There’s nothing to be scared of, y/n.” He knows what you’re thinking, and he’s using that compelling voice on you again.

“I knew it,” you say in triumph. “You’re just like a vampire!”

He laughs at that, a sound you could honestly never tire of. It brings a smile to your face despite the worries on your mind.

Cristiano Ronaldo Imagine || Not Leaving (Cristiano Jr.)

Originally posted by aliirb

I throw the last pair of shoes into my suitcase and zip it up, wondering if I remembered to pack everything for my work trip, as I’m dragging the suitcase behind me, towards the stairway. I can hear Cristiano and Junior watching cartoons in the living room and I don’t want to ruin their fun, so I pick the suitcase up and make my way down the stairs, silently praying not to fall on my face. Or any other part of my body. Just not to fall in general. Not falling is great. Judging by its weight, I most likely got everything I could possibly need and more. A lot more.

“Y/N?” Cristiano calls out once I’m about halfway down. “Oh my God! Are you purposely trying to break a bone tonight? Give me that.” He takes the bag away from me and carries it down, shooting daggers at me with his eyes.

“You’re ridiculous. I could’ve done that on my own.”

“Sure. I’m just not sure if you would’ve gotten down in one piece. You’re the most uncoordinated person in the world, so how about you leave the heavy lifting to me?” He laughs and throws an arm around me, ruining my attempt to be mad at him. “What do you need that much stuff for, anyway? I thought it was just for a couple of days.”

“I lied. I’m actually leaving you.” I manage to keep a straight face, hoping I’ll scare him even a little bit. Even for just a few seconds. But of course he just raises an eyebrow at me, completely unaffected. “You could at least pretend you’d care.”

“You mean I could at least pretend you were being vaguely convincing, which you weren’t.” He laughs. “And let’s be real here. Who would leave me?” The fact that he is so obviously joking doesn’t make his cockiness sound any less annoying.

“I don’t know, but if you keep saying stuff like that, you might find out pretty soon.”

I playfully shove him towards the living room and we both sit down on the couch, on either side of Junior, who is watching an episode of Tom & Jerry that we’ve seen with him countless times before, but that doesn’t stop him from being completely focused on the screen. I turn to my boyfriend to make a joke about it, but Cristiano’s eyes are glued to the TV and I can’t help but laugh to myself.

“You’re evil.” He turns to me. “How can you laugh at poor Jerry?” I look towards the screen for the first time and notice the tiny animated mouse being caught in some kind of elaborate trap, which seems to profoundly affect Cristiano, so I laugh again.

“I’m starting to think it wasn’t Junior’s idea to watch this.”

“No, I’ve already seen this one. I don’t even like it. Daddy wanted to watch!” The boy corrects me, still focused on the cartoon.

“What do you mean you don’t like it?” I chuckle. “You watch this all the time.”

Junior ignores me, which isn’t something he does very often, but his father brushes the whole thing off with a shrug, so I let it slide, thinking he’s probably just too caught up in his show. We sit there for another hour or so, watching a bunch of other episodes and I can’t help but notice that Cristiano and I are the only ones bursting into laughter or even just giggling at some of the scenes. Junior just sits there in complete silence, looking less than happy.

“Hey.” I put my hand on the boy’s shoulder, finally earning a reaction from him, as he turns around to face me. “Is something wrong?” He shakes his head and turns back around.

“Cristianinho.” His father says, getting his attention for a brief second. Another episode has ended, which leaves Junior with nothing to focus on and ignore us, so his eyes immediately dart to the floor.

“Are you alright? What’s going on?” I ask, but it’s as if I’m talking to myself. “You know you can talk to me, right?” I know he does, but I still feel like he needs reassurance in order to tell me about whatever is bugging him.

“I don’t want to talk to you.” He states. Cristiano and I stare at each other in confusion, because that’s something neither of us expected to hear from him.

“Do you want to talk to me?” The boy nods, so they both stand up and walk out of the room, leaving me alone and completely confused.

Part of me is aware that whatever Junior’s problem might be, it can’t be too big of a deal, seeing as to how he’s a five year old child, but then again, he’s never not wanted to talk to me about something. He was only three when Cristiano and I started dating, so being around me is something he’s always been used to. I know that getting a three year old to like you isn’t exactly difficult, but I always took pride in the fact that Junior felt comfortable enough to talk to me about any and everything for as long as I can remember. Whenever he was upset with his dad for whatever reason or his friends said something mean or when he just wanted to tell someone all about a new toy he got, I was his go-to person. And while I realize that Cristiano is his father and there’s nothing strange about them talking alone, I still don’t like it. Maybe that’s how he feels every day.

When they finally come back after what seems like an eternity, Junior looks like he’s been crying, while Cristiano has an amused smile plastered on his face, which only further confuses me.

“What’s going on?” I ask my boyfriend in a hushed tone. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He chuckles. “You have the worst sense of humor.”

“What? What did I say? What are you talking about?”

“Just talk to him, Y/N.”

I roll my eyes at him and take a few steps towards Junior, whose eyes are still glued to the floor and I can tell he is a little startled when I crouch down next to him.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong now?” I ask.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Is that why you’re sad?” He nods and it warms my heart. “You know, I don’t really want to go either, but it’s my job. I’m only going to be gone for a few days. You won’t even notice I’m not here.”

“You’re lying!” Junior yells. “You’re not coming back. I heard you tell daddy.”

At first, I have no idea what he is talking about, so I turn to Cristiano, but the I-told-you-so look on his face reminds me of what he just said about my terrible sense of humor. And then it hits me. Junior must’ve heard us earlier, when we were talking about my luggage. When I said I was leaving him.

“Oh my God.” I gasp, holding back a fit of laughter, because I don’t want the boy to think I’m making fun of him, although the whole situation is nothing short of hilarious.”You heard us talking earlier, didn’t you?”

“You said you were leaving us.” The sad look on his face makes me feel incredibly bad and all of the sudden I don’t feel like laughing anymore.

“I’m not leaving you. Come here and listen to me.” I sit on the couch next to Cristiano, who obviously still finds the whole thing extremely amusing, and pat the spot next to me. “I have to go, but it’s only for a few days. I’m not leaving anyone. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“You will?” He finally looks up at me and his lips curl into a smile, his whole face lighting up again.

“I promise I will.” I wrap an arm around him and pull him closer. “You should know by now that I don’t plan on leaving either of you anytime soon. I was just making a joke.”

“A bad joke.” Cristiano adds with a laugh. “A horribly bad joke.”

“Actually, now that I think about it, I might just not come back.” I say and Junior immediately looks up at me. “Joke. Another joke.” Cristiano opens his mouth to say something that I have a feeling isn’t going to be very nice. “Unless you’re about to tell me how incredibly beautiful I am, I suggest you keep your mouth shut.”

“I was about to say I love you.”

“Nice save.”

anonymous asked:

Hi Emily, I'm planning to move to England! :D any advice?


hmmmm well the advice would probably vary PRETTY WIDELY depending on where you’re from, but here is some VERY SERIOUS basic stuff:

  • your relationship with tea begins the moment your flight touches down. you will be repeatedly offered tea, the procurement of tea will frequently be prioritised by those around you, and discussions surrounding tea will occur ad nauseam. if you wish to blend in, I suggest you develop a taste for PG Tips. the less milk you have in it, the more respect you earn, but if you have no milk at all, that’s weird and will be a conversation topic. two sugars in it will get a raised eyebrow; any more and you will be discussing diabetes for the next half an hour. asking for a herbal tea will likely put your host into a state of either smugness or panic, depending on whether or not they still have that fancy berry blend they got six months ago on a health kick. if you don’t drink tea at all, you will confuse people. this may be your preference.
  • talk about the weather. in any scenario. at any moment. to fill a silence, remark on the weather.
  • try a cream tea, absolutely try a cream tea. scone, yes. jam, yes. cream, yes. in that order. do not believe anyone who tells you the cream should go under the jam. this is crucial.
  • the order of supermarkets from cheap to posh is Lidl, Asda, Tesco, Sainsburys, Waitrose, Marks & Spencer; unless your name is Moneybags McGee, don’t do your weekly shop at M&S. be seduced occasionally by their delicious cakes, but do not succumb to the temptation of their full range.
  • Halloween is not such a big deal here, especially outside of big cities, because people are too shy to put on costumes and prat about. if you love Halloween, you need to find a Halloweeny clique and fight for your right to party.
  • you will frequently be greeted by a question that sounds like “higheryawright?” this is, in fact, “hiya, are you alright?” you should under no circumstances reply to this question with how you are actually feeling. saying you are “good” may seem like you’re bragging. it’s best to go with “not too bad, not too bad”, along with a knowing look at your interrogator. they will give you this look in return, a wry smile, like you’re sharing a joke. this joke is that life is shit, but you say it’s not too bad, and you keep going at it.
  • if you put up two fingers with your palm facing inwards, towards yourself, like an American peace sign, that is swearing in the UK - like a slightly softer fuck-you than just flipping up your middle finger. I used to think all the American people I knew who threw up peace signs in photos with their palm inwards were trying to be really edgy and flip off the camera. if you want a UK peace sign, you need your palm facing out.
  • the weather. I’m serious. check the five-day forecast and you have conversation topics sorted for the week.

this was all a little tongue-in-cheek friend, THE UK IS A GREAT PLACE TO LIVE TBH we have big diverse open-minded cities and beautiful countryside. and it’s full of people, which makes it the usual human blend of terrible and stunningly beautiful and boring and awe-inspiring. it rains a lot, too. 

if you want some more specific tips/answers, feel free to ask!! I’m here for being a resident Brit ;D <3

anonymous asked:

fluffy drabble of noctis and s/o before falling asleep please :3

OKAY, I already did a little fluffy thing with each of the Chocobros in it and I didn’t want this to be more of the same. Furthermore, all I could come up with was something goofy af so I’m so sorry. xD

Bad joke warning. They’re real bad and I should feel bad. Also I do this stuff to my husband all the time and he’s pretty Noctis.

It hadn’t been over five minutes since you climbed in bed with your favorite prince, but you knew you weren’t going to be able to go to sleep anytime soon. You were tired, but you still had a lot of mental energy and your thoughts just went on and on.

Noctis, on the other hand… if he wasn’t sleeping already, he was likely on the brink of dozing off. Still, with his back facing you so that you couldn’t tell and no audible snores coming from his direction, you decided to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and make him privy to your ridiculous, sleep-deprived mind. You already knew he wasn’t going to appreciate it, but you needed to get the last of this slap-happiness out of your system.

You stifled a giggle, poking your partner’s shoulder. “Hey, Noct? Are you awake?”

“…Define awake?” The prince’s raspy voice replied after a moment.

“Being able to respond to my question. Which means you can also respond to my jokes.”

“Mm?” Noctis hummed groggily. You sat up to peer over him as you pet his head, making sure that he wouldn’t fall asleep yet.

“Knock knock.”

He responded obligatorily, “Who’s there?” 

“Not Noct.” You were barely able to reply before breaking into laughter as the raven-haired boy suddenly flopped over on his back to glare at you. He knew that wasn’t a continuation of this joke to be made.


You waved your hand as you calmed down. “No, no, sorry! That one was stupid… Knock knock.”

The prince squeezed his tired eyes shut, rubbing them while he heaved an exasperated sigh. At least he loved you enough to give you another chance as he asked “Who’s there?” a second time.

“Ifrit.” You chirped.

“Ifrit who?”

You blurted out, “Ifrit ain’t cookies, then go away!”

Again, you found yourself being the only one who found your comedy routine amusing and you could see that Noctis was determined to end it. He grabbed ahold of your wrist and pulled you until you were lying down on him.

“Awful. Go to sleep.” He retorted, wrapping his arms around your waist while you giggled against his chest. You could’ve sworn he cracked a smile, but it might’ve just been your imagination. After a minute, you cleared your throat and were quiet.

“Please Titan your grip on me because Archaen feel your warmth!”

The prince groaned. He was done with you. He touched your face and pulled you close to his where you could see the dark circles under his eyes. You smirked, and he gave you a lazy, sideways smile in return.

“How about I kiss you, and you never tell those jokes again?”

“To you, at least.”

“Fair enough.” Noctis pulled you in, kissing you softly as he held you against his chest. When you parted, he chuckled. “Actually, just text them all to Prompto.”

You laughed and shifted so that you were under the covers while you rested your head in the crook of the prince’s shoulder. “No… nobody gets as mad as you do.”

anonymous asked:

Hi!! What would be Castiel and Armin's reaction to some guy making racist jokes to an latin Candy? (I'm so sorry for my bad english)

(yoooo more requests involving colored candies cause as a black girl I’m really feeling this. And seriously guys stop apologizing for your “bad English”, the fact that you can talk to me is cool. I would love to speak another language even if I can’t speak it well.))

Castiel tbh is taken aback for a second. Like, he doesn’t ever really acknowledge the fact that he’s in an interracial relationship. He’s not ignoring it, he just doesn’t see why it should matter when he’s with you for you. Also his parents are in an interracial relationship, meaning he’s biracial, so it just seemed normal to him, so for someone else to actually pay attention to that pisses him off beyond measurements. He’s probably going to pick a fight with the person so you might wanna drag him away, and while you’re doing that he’s shouting really harsh words towards them. It really takes a while for him to calm down about the whole thing because it really just made his blood boil. Best believe whoever made the jokes are now scared shitless.

Armin is just like “Wait, is this really happening?” He also never really paid attention to the fact that he’s in an interracial relationship because like Cas, his parents are in one as well. He doesn’t understand why people feel the need to point it out because it’s pretty unimportant when you’re dating someone, you know? He’s unsure of what to do at first because he never thought something like this would happen but when the shock is over he goes the hell off on the person. Like, a never-before-seen Armin has been summoned and it’s honestly terrifying if you’re the one it’s directed towards. “Are you FUCKING kidding me right now you ignorant shit head???” He asks his parents for advice on how to deal with it since (I think, do not quote me on this) Armin is white and he’s never really experienced something like that.

anonymous asked:

Hey, can you do an imagine dylan and Eric fight over a girl? Love your blog dab on the haters (sorry love Jake Paul xD)

“I’m sorry y/n that’s just what I heard.
“Are you positive? Like totally sure they said it was Dylan with her?”
“Robyn said she heard it come right from Eric’s own mouth, I’m..I’m sorry y/n.”

Your could almost hear the gears of your brain grinding to a halt as you absorbed what your friend Denice had just said.
How could he do this to you?! And with Marla of all fucking people too! You furiously slammed your locker shut making Denice jump in fright.

“y/n? Do you…do you need anything?Maybe like a ride home or something? Your silence is kinda freaking me out.”
“…no, no I’m good.”
“You don’t seem good y/n.”
“Shit ok, Jesus…I’m only trying to help you know!”

Your shoulders slumped forwards as the weight of what was to come began to build up. Just wait until you got your hands on that asshole! He’d wish he’d never been born! You mumbled a quiet sorry to Denice as you dragged yourself away and out to your car. You knew Dylan would be waiting for you there, regular as clockwork.
How could you have missed the signs?! You thought you were both happy in this relationship. Or at least it appeared that way to you and everyone around you.
As you exited the west wing you instantly spotted the lanky figure of Dylan leaning up against your car. He spotted you also and waved out to you. God he had some fucking nerve and some seriously good acting skills you had to hand it to him. He was playing the perfect loving boyfriend whom treated you like a fucking princess whilst fucking sneaking off with…with HER! Your face was full of malice and hatred as you approached him.

“Wow sweety you look mad as hell, what’s happened?! What’s wro-”

He looked at you in total shock and held his face as shook life back into your stinging hand and fingers. The slap echoing around you both. So much confusion and sadness started clouding his features.

“What the hell was that for?!”
“How could you?!!”
“How could I what baby?!”

Another loud slap resonated through the schools lot. Dylan’s face now showed traces of anger along with more confusion. He rubbed the other side of his face and caught your wrist as you went to slap him once more.

“Dude! Stop that! What the hell has gotten into you y/n?! What ever you think I’ve done I’m sorry!”
“Um?…n-o…? Look tell me what the fucks going on?!”
“You really are a piece of work Dylan! At least have the balls to admit it! Well I hope she was worth it coz we are done! I can’t believe you’d cheat on me!”

You climbed into your car, locking the doors to prevent Dylan from getting inside. He pounded on your window screaming that he hadn’t done anything, and that whatever you’d heard was a lie.
Yea right, why would Eric say something so destructive towards his best friends happiness if it wasn’t the truth?! You drove off with a screech of your tires. Leaving Dylan broken, angry and confused as fuck in your wake.


“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself y/n. I’d only just found them myself like 30 or so minute earlier.”
“It’s ok Eric, I just can’t believe it still, it’s like I’m stuck in a state of shock ya know?”
“Yea I know what you mean y/n”

You’d been talking to Eric for a few hours now as you mom had given up trying to get you to talk to her and tell her why you were crying over 2 hours ago so she’d left you to just talk with Eric. He had called you not long after you’d gotten home. Wanting to know how you were as Dylan had told him what was going on.

“Look, maybe it’s for the best you know y/n.”
“Oh? And how is getting you heart broken into a million billion tiny pieces ‘the best’ for me Eric?”
“Well…..better now rather when your 3 kids and a mortgage deep you know.”
“Yea I guess that’s true, but how did you find them?”
“Oh um…I was ditching and trying to chat up Brandi.”
“That doesn’t answer me though Eric.”
“Well if you’d let me finish Ms bossy boots! I was in gym and after Brandi rejected me.”
“Yea thanks y/n, stop interrupting me! Where was I…? Oh yea so I was standing there like a idiot and I heard sounds coming from behind the bleachers behind me, I popped my head down and um…yea. There they were.”
“Like what? Making out, or fucking or what?”
“Jesus y/n don’t torture yourself with that kind of question!”
“Answer me!”
“Yea alright! She was blowing him ok! You happy now?….y/n?…..y/n?! You still there?!”
“Yea…look I think I’m gonna just go to bed. Thanks for listening to me cry for the last couple of hours.”
“Hey what are friends for y/n?”

As y/n hung up Eric smiled smugly to himself. She had believed every single word and had dropped Dylan within 10 minutes. He stretched back in his chair, smiling at the ceiling. Y/n had a nasty right hook on her he discovered as he’d watched her break up with Dylan that very afternoon. And then he’d made sure to wait for a while from after listening to Dylan cry his eyes out about how someone set him up before he called you.

Eric did feel bad about betraying Dylan like that. He’d feigned shock at Dylan as he told him what had happened. Telling him it must of been some bad joke prank pulled by those jock assholes to cause trouble. The feeling churned away in his gut as a slight sickly feeling. It swelled as he’d promised Dylan to help him get y/n back.

No. Now was his time. Dylan should of never taken you away from him! All those months ago when he’d watch you in the cafeteria or in class, mesmerised by your beauty and grace. All those times he’d talked to Dylan about how much he wanted you, to be with you and care for you. Only to have Dylan fall for you also…and claim you.

Quickly as it came that sickly feeling disappeared, only to be replaced with anger, and hatred for how Dylan had done that to him.
Well now it was anyone’s game. He had to be smart now so as not to give the jig away. He’d lose both you and Dylan forever if they ever found out that you were behind this whole thing. But….all is fair in love, and war.

I've Got A Dark Alley and A Bad Idea
Fall Out Boy
I've Got A Dark Alley and A Bad Idea

47/100 Songs That Will Change Your Life

I’ve Got A Dark Alley and A Bad Idea That Says You Should Keep Your Mouth Shut (Summer Song) by Fall Out Boy

Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of “best friends”
We’re the kids who feel like dead ends

Star Wars Preferences: Having Low Self Esteem

(Requested by @13skullyhorror13 I hope you like it my beautiful buddy! )

Obi-Wan: He tells you how much he loves you and gives you lots of sweet kisses.

Anakin: He lifts you up in his arms and might tickle/kiss you until he sees you smile again.

Padme: She hates that you are feeling down so she tries and pampers you the whole day.

Qui-Gon: He says how everyone is special and can’t compare ourselves to others and how much he loves you.

Darth Maul: He asks who made you feel bad about yourself and is ready to attack them with his lightsaber.

Luke: Won’t shut up about how wonderful he thinks you are until you admit it too.

Han: He says he thinks you are crazy because he things you are the most amazing person he has ever met.

Leia: She proves you wrong by showing you how important you are to her and all your friends.

Boba: He tells you how great you are and asks if you want to go on a mission to make you feel better.

Finn: He thought you must be joking and laughed. But when he saw how sad you looked he apologized and told you all the things he loved about you.

Poe: Gives you lots of compliments but specifically gives you compliments on what you are feeling bad about.

Rey: She was confused why you would think bad of yourself but then talked it through with you and asked you why you felt like that.

Kylo: He reads your mind to see what made you feel that way and if it was a specific person he would take care of them real quick.

Hux: Tells you how special you are to him and that you should trust him because he is a great judge of character.

Captain Phasma: Just plain tells you that you are wrong and then tells you how lucky she is to be with you.