your iq

idiot parent: but how will i explain it to my children?

me: the same fucking way you’d explain a man and a woman, but now it’s either two women or two men

idiot parent: but my children theY wO’nT UnDERStANd iT!!

me: …

me: if you seriously believe that your children are incapable of understanding the concept of two people of the same sex being in love, then i would really worry more about your children’s iq level in general rather than using them as an excuse for being against gay marriage

send my muse a pick up line
  • We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
  • You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.
  • What do I have to do to be your booty call?
  • What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
  • With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!
  • When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  • Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Were do you hide your wings?
  • Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
  • Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?
  • You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.
  • There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
  • Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
  • Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  • Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
  • Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  • So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
  • We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
  • Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  • Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!
  • Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
  • The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  • So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  • You make me wish I weren’t gay!
  • Writes on a napkin: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.”
  • The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
  • Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
  • What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.
  • Will you marry me for just one night?
  • Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  • The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  • What are you doing tonight beside me?
  • Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  • Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted?
  • What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You look like trash, may I take you out?

insulting sentence starters.

“Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?”
“I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you never use it.”
“I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.”
“You bring everyone a lot of joy, when you leave the room.”
“If you are going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty.”
“You’re so ugly you scare the shit back into people.”
“Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.”
“I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than that.”
“If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
“You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you.”
“I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I’d drink it.”
“Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be pretty on the inside.”
“The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.”
“What are you going to do for a face when the baboon wants his butt back?”
“I may love to shop but I’m not buying your bullshit.”
“If I were to slap you, it would be considered animal abuse!”
“You have two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.”
“What are you doing here? Did someone leave your cage open?”
“Why don’t you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale.”
“You look like something I’d draw with my left hand.”
“Please, the only dates you get are on a calendar.”
“If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart.”
“You get as much action as a nine button on a microwave.”
“Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
“It’s hard to get the big picture when you have such a small screen.”
seventeen as: pickup lines

seungcheol: “do you have a name or can i call you mine?”

jeonghan: “with my IQ and your face, we could make a race of superchildren!” (why)

jisoo: “baby you make my palms sweaty, knees weak, arms spaghetti-”

junhui: “you, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?” (why 2.0)

hoshi:  “did you die recently? ‘cause you look like an angel to me”

wonwoo: “if i were a cat, i’d spend all 9 lives with you”

jihoon: “can i punch you in the face… softly, maybe with my lips?”

seokmin: “life without you is like a broken pencil… pointless”

mingyu: (@ jungkook) “do you like raisins? well, how do you feel about a date?”

minghao: “your eyes are as blue as the sea i dumped my ex’s body in”

seungkwan: “you’re almost as pretty as my mom”

vernon: “tonight this han doesn’t want to fly solo”

dino: “you look like trash, can i take you out?”

Voltron charcters as bad pick-up lines
  • Shiro: If I were to ask you on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
  • Lance: well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?
  • Pidge: with my IQ and your looks we could create a race of superchildren!
  • Keith: you look like trash. May I take you out?
  • Hunk: come live in my heart and pay no rent
Being The Youngest Member on the Young Justice Team.

Could you post an imagine of how it would be like to be the youngest and newest female on the young justice team (the season 2 team please)- @nauroracrystal

Here you go @nauroracrystal. I hope you like it. I’m literally sick while I was writing so I hope it’s not bad. 

  • You’re only eleven ½ years old
  • Which sets the record for the youngest person to join the team since Dick.
  • Though you make that up with your extremely high IQ.
  • Which is how you got on the team in the first place.
  • That and hacking into Batman’s satellite, breaking into secret data files, and supposedly figuring out everything about the Justice League.
  • Let’s just say you’re not a big fan of Batman.
  • You started off with being in the sidelines for missions since you have no fighting training whatsoever.
  • But you were fine with just being a computer girl/guy.
  • Even though you are the youngest, you don’t take no BS from nobody.
  • Which is why nobody on the team liked you at first.
  • Well except for Beast Boy
  • He was scared to approach you at first since you were so intimidating.
  • But over time he kind of sense that you just didn’t want people to think you were a child.
  • It took some time but eventually (with Beast Boy’s help) started to warm up to the team.
  • They even treated you like a little sister.
  • Since you are the youngest and the shortest, they love to pick on you.
  • Especially Bart.
  • Every time you get frustrated with something and you are very cranky, he tends to have a very smart remark.
  • “Aww does the wittle baby need (his/her) nappy wappy?”
  • You retort with a threat.
  • “No but if you don’t get away from me now, you won’t be able to go back in time and fix what I have done to you.”
  • You were tough…for an eleven year old.
  • Literally the first day Nightwing started training you, he came into the kitchen with a couple of bruises.
  • “Oh my god. Nightwing what happened?” asked M'gann.
  • “I don’t want to talk about it.”
  • “He got beat by an eleven year old.” you said.
  • “Yeah, well I was going easy on you.”
  • “Yea…sure.”
  • He really was going easy on you.
  • Everybody was very protective of you.
  • Super protective.
  • If you got hurt or something, they would always find ways to make you feel better.
  • Or beat the crap out of whoever it was.
  • Whether it’s M’gann making you cookies, everybody watching a Star Wars Marathon, everybody just hanging around, they were always there to make you feel better.
  • And you love being apart of your family/ team. 

Uuuuuugh I was trying to read a new romance and immediately had to stop because it was doing the Thing, the “big vocabulary = genius” and “geniuses are better than other people” thing.

Look, you know who gets really invested in being an Official Genius ™? People who feel like they don’t have anything else. If the best thing about you is how smart you are, what does that say about your relationships, your creativity, your purpose in life? I used to cling to being smart like a life-raft. I used it as an excuse not to deal with my anxiety disorder. I didn’t need to leave the house or talk to strangers, they wouldn’t understand me anyway. I was smug and condescending about my grammar and punctuation. It got me nothing worth having.

Hiding behind your IQ is cowardly. Unless you do something with it, you’re like those car collectors that just keep beautiful cars in a garage and never drive them. Going to grad school and med school, being around people who self-select and are selected to be very smart, being around people who are measurably, objectively, smarter than me, was very good for me. Because there are people who are smarter than me and better than me at all those things I sneered at or wrote off–better at communication, building relationships, being thoughtful and kind. I couldn’t pretend that the things that made me sharp-edged and unpleasant were just about intelligence. It was me, it was my learned behaviors.

I’m not what I want to be, but I’m a lot closer to it than my parents, who still treat IQ as the be-all end-all of human worth.

Which is why I’ve gone from loving the asshole genius trope to finding it repellant. It’s not the genius that makes them an asshole. It’s being an asshole. In real life, people like Dr. House or BBC’s Sherlock would be unendurably irritating. I have no interest in being subjected to shitty behavior from someone who thinks they’re above the rest of us because they’re smart.