your iq

Perfection - Jughead x Reader

Request — Anonymous asked: Juggie x reader where reader’s thought of as pretty but hasn’t dated anyone before because most guys just Like her for her looks. One day a bully tries to force himself on her and a wild Jughead appears and saves the day??? Thanks

A/N — Thank you so much for all the positive feedback I got on my last imagine! I thought I rushed it completely and I felt like it wasn’t like the request, but it made me happy seeing all the likes and shares. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this imagine!

Words: 2500

Warnings: Bullying, swearing, signs of sexual harassment and angst

(Y/N) , (Y/L/N) , (S/C) , (H/T) — Your name, your last name your favourite colour, skin colour, home town

She was just one other face in the hallway, but somehow she stood out. The boys, along with some girls, made her their main interest. Sure, by now she was use to it, but in a bad way. (Y/N) was the most gorgeous girl at Riverdale High School. Everyone was after her, including the people who kept silent. In fact, that was Riverdale’s own Jughead Jones. He was afraid all they would ever get to if they had the chance was be lab partners. Sadly, nothing else, or so he thought.

You moved to Riverdale a year ago from (H/T). Straight away as you walked through those great big halls on your first day, you were afraid it would be exactly like your old school. Your parent’s got a job offer, meaning they had to move to Riverdale. Of course it wasn’t a bad thing, but what was ahead of her was. A new movie, a new start, was all she wanted when learning that she was moving far away. Thank god, is all you thought to yourself.

The reason why you hated your old school was due to only one person. In fact, that person was a boy. A cute boy at the time, but learnt later on to be absolutely vile. His name was Jake. He was a senior, whereas at the time you were only freshman. Since you were ahead of your grade in science, you had the honour to move to senior classes instead of freshman ones. That’s when trouble all started. Since laying eyes on him, you knew it was going to be bad. Sure, his eyes were deep and blue, the kind that looked look a starry night sky, but it was a rabbit hole to fall in to. Since the two of you were assigned lab partners, you got to know him more and more everyday, meaning that the feelings you had for him grew too. One day after class, he asked you out on a ‘date’ to go to a party another senior was hosting while his parents were gone on a business trip. Since your parents never allowed you to date, you decided to be a little rebellious and sneak out with him whilst they were out of town. When it came time for him to pick you up, he was slightly intoxicated, sitting in the drivers seat of his car. You knew straight away it was going to be a bad night. In fact, it was. He got more and more drunk that night, leaving him to almost lead you to a bedroom to have sex in. You called him out, all the boys ganged up and told you to leave, walking all the way home in the pouring rain. That next day of school, someone photoshopped your face on a girl in a revealing bikini was sent to every boy with the caption ‘slut’. Luckily it was a miracle, the move to Riverdale, that was a sign to a fresh new start.

She was wary of every boy that caught her glimpse since her first day. She obviously didn’t want a repeat of the last incident that still haunted her. Boys asked her out, but she kindly declined with the excuse that her parents didn’t allow her to date. Someone assumed she was a lesbian, but that was just a rumour. At least the boys here we nice enough to accept her response. Since still being fairly new, you didn’t really acknowledge many people as your friends, as you didn’t exactly know who to trust anymore. One person, the only person, was the only exception. Jughead Jones, the only boy that acknowledged you as a human being with feelings and stories. Since of your high IQ, you were still assigned to a couple higher classes to fit your standards. You didn’t mind the classes, especially science, as it was your favourite subject. And your lab partner, which happened to be Jughead, wasn’t your usual douchebag preppy jock that only wanted you for your looks.

The day was Friday. Most of your classes that day was with Jug. Of course you didn’t mind as he was the only person you got along with. As you were late to school, you quickly went to the office to grab a late note for your teacher to give on arrival. When you made it to English that morning, to your surprise, Jughead saved you a seat next to his. It was knew of him. Jughead always seemed to have a huge opinion on personal space, but this was new to her, including a couple classmates. She held in a chuckle walking over to her seat which sat next to his.

“So, did I miss anything on Shakespeare?” (Y/N) whispered, opening her bag to take out her books. “Shit, do you have a pen?” She asked, still trying to search deep into her bag to find where her pen could be. Jughead picked up the pan that already sat on his desk, waving it in front of her, as she looked up and thanked him taking it.

“No problem. But with the Shakespeare question? Yeah, I’m a bit sick of hearing Romeo & Juliet over and over again.” Jughead confessed, a smirk playing on his lips as he took out a new pen for himself. “At least it’s not Macbeth this time.” You smiled, trying to not giggle too loudly.

For the last two weeks, news spread that there was a party hosted by Chuck Clayton that night in honour of Riverdale’s football team, the Bulldogs, latest win against their rival school. Of course that wasn’t on your interest, as fear hit you like a dozen bricks all at once. But there was no fear in asking others if they were going. Since Archie Andrews, Jughead’s best friend, well, no one really knew what they were at the moment, she thought he would tag along with Archie to support his win.

“…So, did you hear about that party tonight?”  You hesitantly asked, looking up from your work into Jughead’s eyes. Every time she looked into them, a hit of familiarity came over her. A deep blue, similar to Jake’s. Of course she knew that Jughead wasn’t like every other boy, but she didn’t exactly know every single thing about him and she was still wary of her surroundings. All he did was scoff in response, stretching his arms out.

“Do you really think I would go to one of Chuck’s stupid parties? It’s just an excuse to drink and flirt with people whilst you’re drunk.” Jughead informed, support his head with his hands before resting his chin on the table.

“O-oh, b-but what about Archie? Aren’t you going to support him?” As soon as those words escaped her lips, his head shot up.

“Look, (Y/N), ever since Jason’s death, we haven’t really been talking. You see, the morning of the gunshot, Archie and I were suppose to go camping a bit out of Riverdale for summer vacation. I was packed and everything, ready to go. But he never showed up. So basically, my summer consisted of writing, eating, and playing video games.” Jughead explained to her. (Y/N) was aware of the gruesome death of Jason Blossom. Since it was big deal in Riverdale, of course she would have heard about it by now since it was brought up almost everyday, and she knew Jughead was fascinated in the mystery of it, as one day the two of them were both at Pop’s to finish some homework and he showed her the process of the book he’s writing.

“Jug, I’m sorry to hear that. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not going either. Long story, I’ll tell you if I ever get the chance. I might go to the Drive-In or something.” You suggested, going back to your writing. Jughead’s eyes lit up as you mentioned the Drive-In. Since it was where he worked, and literally where he lived, he sparked interest to make tonight’s shift a little more fancier since she was going.

“Since when did you find you go to Drive-In’s? I work there, so, technically I have to be there. But I run the reels up in the projection room, so I just put it in and snack away on popcorn. I find it more fascinating watching it in a point of view sort of way. If you want, maybe I could show you what it’s like?” The end part to what he said came out almost in a question. Jughead was hesitant, shy almost at the suggestion to her. He was head over heels for (Y/N), and the main focus on her wasn’t her appearance for once.

“S-sure, Jughead. I’d love to.” That answer caught him by surprise, along with herself too. After one whole year of not going out, staying in most of the time, she deserved one night off from the troubles of teenage life. “What were you thinking of playing tonight?” She asked, curious in his movie taste.

“Well, I have a couple in mind. Maybe ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ or ‘Heathers’.” He replied, fiddling with the pen between his fingers.

“Both. I like your movie taste, Mr Jones.” She complimented, a blush slowly clinging to her (S/C) cheeks.

The period before lunch was finally over. The hallways filled up with loud students as Jughead and you tried to manage to make it to the end to sit with Veronica, Betty, Kevin and Archie.

“Hold on a second, I have to quickly get something from my locker.” She told Jughead, walking over to her locker that was opposite her.

“Sure, I’ll just wait in the cafeteria. I’ll save you seat.” He hung his head low, hiding a blush as he dug his hands into the pockets of his jacket before spinning on his heels and walking off. (Y/N) smiled back at him, a blush now on her cheeks as she turned to face her locker to put in the code to unlock it. She quickly put in her books as she took out her perfume, looking around the hallway in sight of Jug before spraying a bit on herself. She placed it back in her locker as she shut her locker, a boy standing behind it now in her sight, making her jump.

“Whoa, didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled, biting his lip as he looked up and down at you, instantly making you feel uncomfortable. “(Y/N), right?” You nodded slowly, clinging onto the strap of your bag.

“Yeah, that’s me.” You said awkwardly, trying to keep conversation short as she didn’t want to hold up Jughead waiting for her.

“Chuck. Chuck Clayton. Captain of the Bulldogs. Anyway, I have this party tonight which I really think you should come to. It seems like your kinda thing.” Chuck asked, still eyeing your body up and down, making you now extremely uncomfortable. You’ve heard from Veronica and Betty bad things about Chuck from the past which got him suspended and kicked off the team. But since his dad was coach, they somehow let him back on and everyone pretended like nothing happened.

“O-oh, yeah, I’ve heard about it. I-I, look, uh… parties aren’t really my thing and I have plans anyway. I-I’m sorry.” She kindly declined, turning to quickly lock her locker before Chuck forced his hand onto it, holding it down.

“Aw, really? You know, the whole football team was looking forward on your arrival? I mean, I promised them and everything. And you’re just going to let us down like that, (Y/N)?” At this point, he cornered you against the lockers. You knew what was going to happen. The hyperventilating started, the tears on the corner of your eyes were about to break and the ball in your throat was keeping you completely still.

“C-Chuck, I-I… I have to go-..” (Y/N) tried telling him, but the ball in her throat dropped and a tear shed down her cheek.

“Aw, look, are you crying? You won’t be crying by the end of this.” He smirked at her, biting down on his lip before a sudden bang against the locker broke his grip off her. Jughead stood at the end of the hall, a steady glare held onto Chuck’s eyes.

Let. Go. Of. Her.” He forcefully said, the breathing in his chest visible as he tried his hardest to be calm yet stern, although he was furious and out of his mind. Chuck just laughed, still cornering her as he turned his focus to Jughead.

“Or what, Wednesday Addams? Are you going to tell on me?” He joked, now looking back at her as he held on higher to (Y/N)’s arm. At this point, Jughead was in absolutely rage.

“I said let go of her, Chuck.” He screamed, his eyes now tearing up along with yours. No one has ever stood up for you and it felt like a honour for it to be Jughead. Chuck let go of her, shoving her against the lockers as he stared at her once again before stepping back from her looking at the both of them.

Freaks.” He mumbled, before walking off and disappearing from the hallway. You looked at Jughead before walking over to him and standing opposite him.

“Why did you stand up for me?” You said sternly, looking deep into his eyes. Jughead once again scoffed, a glare now facing her.

“You’re kidding me, right? I just saved you and you’re asking such a stupid question?” He replied, looking down at her.

No! Jughead, I didn’t mean it like that!” She giggled staring up into his eyes as she stood directly under his nose. “It’s just, no one has ever stood up to me before. Ever. And I genuinely feel honoured for you to do that. Thank you.” She sniffed, blinking away tears.

“I-I..God this is going to sound stupid. Look, (Y/N), I-I..I just wanted to protect you.” He admitted, looking down at her, captivated by the beauty in her. A smile played on her lips as she sighed deeply.

“…Jug?” There was a pause. He was waiting for what she was going to say. And just like that, the perfection moment was perfection. She stood on her toes as she closed her eyes, placing her lips on his as she held onto his jacket. Their lips both moved in sync as he moved his hands from inside his pockets to hold onto her soft cheeks, deepening the kiss with passion and love. Shortly after, they both pulled away and he smirked down at her.

“Pick me up at 8.” She bit her lip, walking off in the hallway to class as the bell rang, leaving him standing there with a goofy grin playing on his lips.

A/N — You guys, I am so proud of this writing I am so happy aaaa. Also, if this uploads and I get the followers, thank you for 1000? I don’t know, as I’m writing this I haven’t checked my notifications, but if I have yay! I hope you enjoyed this because I find it so cute to write.

send my muse a pick up line
  • We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
  • You might be asked to leave soon. You are making the other women look bad.
  • What do I have to do to be your booty call?
  • What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
  • With my IQ and your body, we could make a race of superchildren!
  • When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.
  • That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.
  • Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
  • Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
  • Were do you hide your wings?
  • Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.
  • Sit on my face and let me get to ‘nose’ you better?
  • You know what material this is? [Grab your shirt] Boyfriend material.
  • There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
  • Your shirt has to go, but you can stay.
  • Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.
  • Wanna play midget boxing? You get down on your knees and give me a couple blows!
  • Your place or mine? Tell you what? I’ll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
  • Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  • So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?
  • We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.
  • Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow and we’ll see how high you can make me.
  • Will you be my girlfrien? I left out the ‘d’ cause you’ll get that later!
  • Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
  • The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
  • So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
  • You make me wish I weren’t gay!
  • Writes on a napkin: “Smile if you want to have sex with me.”
  • The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
  • Wanna play Army? I lay down and you blow the hell outta me.
  • What is your favorite color? [Color] Mine too! Seems like we are soulmates.
  • Will you marry me for just one night?
  • Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
  • The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.
  • What are you doing tonight beside me?
  • Wanna fuck like bunnies?
  • Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted?
  • What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.
  • You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
  • You look like trash, may I take you out?
The Mute || Kim Namjoon

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Word Count: 2.1k

Genre: Fluff


He was the typical quiet kid. Always seen at the back of the class, hidden behind a few books and his laptop. Never was he seen at social gatherings, parties, school events. You could walk into the library any night of the week and there he would be, in the back like always. Most people tended to ignore him, forget that he was even there, but that wasn’t the case with you.

There was something about the silence that drew you in, the natural look of curiosity on his face as he typed away on his keyboard. It was almost mesmerizing in a way, and you found yourself staring at him before lectures started, and on nights when a friend and you went to go and study for upcoming tests. Nobody seemed to notice that you had become completely captivated by the boy.

“What are you staring at?” You felt an arm come around you as the person scooted their chair closer to yours and you turned to look at who it was. Kim Jongmin had been a friend of yours from high school, and you two had remained close even when you had entered college together. It was normal for the two of you to sit close together or have your shoulders pressed against each other.

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The first time they say they love you...

Summary: A little headcanon on how would be the first time these HP characters say they love you, the reader.

Remus Lupin

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

These three little words had more meaning to Remus than any other word had, to him, they held so much power and emotion he couldn’t just say them to anyone at any time. He had to think it through, was it really worth it put someone’s life in danger, your life in danger, just because his heart was completely drawn to you? He had to be certain that he could protect you and that you would be safer by his side than by yourself, that you were really indeed happier when he was present. He had to be sure you weren’t just infatuated with each other, and yes, truly, in love. And it was on this particular day that he was sure. You were inside Honeydukes in complete awe with all the sweets available, hands full of Chocolate Frogs and pixie puffs, you looked at all sides trying to find sweets enough to take some back to your friends and Remus couldn’t help the feeling he had looking at you, so he simply smiled and said “I love you”. Sure you dropped all the chocolate on the floor and breathed a shaky “W-what?” at your boyfriend’s sudden realisation, but he said it again with all the conviction in the world, receiving an ecstatic kiss and a very sweet “I love you too, Moony.” just right back.

Sirius Black

Originally posted by totallybenbarnes

Sirius was the opposite, the words never meant much to him. They held no power to him, in his logic to prove love was to show love. His way to say “I love you” was by saying “take care of yourself” and “be safe”, it was waking up during the night just to see if you weren’t having any nightmares and it was making you your favourite tea and read you a book when you where indeed having them. It was giving you his jumper whenever you forgot yours and spend the entire day in the library with you even if he disliked being there. But when Sirius realised that those words meant something to you, he would hold your face and say “I’m sorry I don’t say this as much as I should but I do love you, sweetheart, I really do, so much.” and would press his lips on yours passionately, surprised because differently from the other times he had spoken those little words, they this time, held more meaning than they had ever done, and ever since that day he would say it often to remind you that he truly, utterly, completely loved you.

James Potter

Originally posted by bobdillpickle

James, for a long time, thought those words were silly. He had convinced everyone and even himself that he didn’t believe in that magical cheesy love he easily found on muggle’s romances. It was when he met you that he started changing his mind, it was when you rejected him so many times before accepting to go out with him that he understood that it was possible to hurt from love. It was only when you pressed your silky soft lips on his that he understood what the ‘butterflies’ were and he felt stupid for not believing his friends when they said all that unbelief towards love would backfire. But it was when you were taking a stroll around the Hogwarts’ lake during the winter that he felt the necessity to say those words, it was when you looked at the sky in utter happiness as you felt the first freezing snowflakes falling on your face, frosting your cheeks, it was when you smiled at the sight of snow that you grabbed James’ hands and twirled like a small child during Christmas, it was when you whispered “Snow!” like it was pure magic that he let those words escape his lips, and they escaped so easily, so smoothly that the smile on your face convinced him that love was the best thing in the world.

Teddy Lupin

Originally posted by imaginesforlifetime

To Teddy it was relative, he never felt like saying it, it didn’t really matter to him. Even when you started dating, he said it every once in a while that he was in love with you, but never that he loved you. After all, they had a difference and it saddened you a little bit that he would never say it, maybe he wasn’t sure you were the one for him, maybe he was just infatuated? Maybe he didn’t love you? You were a bit let down to be in all honesties, you had been dating for almost two years and he had never said it, not even once, but perhaps that was just his way of being. So you thought that it wasn’t worth confronting him about it, you’d just try to let it go. But on this specific Friday during Summer, you were spending a week with the Potters, and Teddy asked you to dye his hair bubblegum pink. And you agreed, you spread the dye through every soft lock as he sat on a chair in front of a mirror, you noticed he was staring at you through it. You were quietly doing your job, humming one of the lullabies you used to sing for your little siblings, focusing on his hair but the staring wouldn’t stop and when you met his eyes he was trying to hold a smirk. “What are you staring at, Lupin?” you asked raising an eyebrow, “You, (Y/L/N)” he replied, not holding back his infamous smirks. “And why’s that?” “Because you’re stunning and I love you.” He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You do?” You heart had nearly stopped, he had said it, he had freaking said it for Merlin’s sake. “I do, (Y/N), very much.” He said smiling at you. “Well, I-I love you too, Teddy.”

James Sirius Potter

Originally posted by prince-ezra-miller

James had a little taste for some of the muggle stuff, his grandfather Arthur Weasley had taught him all he knew about them and even allowed him to borrow his muggle car. One day during summer, when James was talking to you on the phone, you mentioned you had had a fight with your family about some specific grades, that you were really upset and he immediately told you to get ready because he was going to pick you up for a ride, it would make you feel better. He asked his granddad if he could lend him his car to rescue you and soon drove to your house, where you waited sitting on the doorstep, cleaning some of your tears and smiling at the sight of him. You entered the car and he immediately hugged you, you stayed like that for a minute or so, just being close to each other and enjoying the feeling of being in each other arms. “Thank you, James, for taking me away from here.” He kissed your forehead, shaking his head and telling you to put the seat belt on as he started driving. After what felt like ten minutes on the road you opened the window and looked out on it, the comfortable wind refreshing your soul and drying all your tears, your hair flowing backwards as you smiled in contentment. You felt pure bliss, and so did he. James almost couldn’t believe himself on how alluring, sweet and kind you were and how you deserved to be with someone who would love you entirely and make you happy. And in that moment, he knew he wanted to be that person. And as you opened all the windows so the wind would flow through the entire car and you laid your head on his shoulder, he whispered only for you to hear, even though no one was around, “I love you, (Y/N)”. You lifted your head in ecstasy, smiling big, kissing his cheek slowly, “I love you too, Potter.”

Albus Severus Potter

Now Albus would let it slip during a heated fight, he would be so pissed, so furious that all his shy, conserved demeanor would just vanish right away in front of your eyes, he was your best friend and he was exhausted of seeing you giving your all to people who didn’t care for you and ended up tearing your heart apart. He would be so angry at the thought of your heart breaking again in careless hands when he could take such good care of you he would just let it slip, “You just give yourself away to assholes with infinitely lower IQs than yours and end up completely shattered, you don’t deserve this and you hate this feeling yet you always go back to it.” He shouted, “I hate seeing you like this, it’s the absolute worst feeling in the world and it hurts me even more that you keep putting yourself in harmful relationships when you could be with someone who would treat you well and look after you, someone who would love you more than anything in this world and make you happy.” And by that time, tears would be already escaping your eyes, trying senselessly to dry them with the sleeves of your jumper. “Yeah, like who? Who would love me?” You’d scream back. “Me, (Y/N)! I would, I do, so please just stop doing this to yourself and let me love you.” He’d say quietly, his shyness getting the best of him once again, anger long gone by now. And you’d jump in his arms, hiding your face on his chest as tears could not be held any longer. For the first time, you felt like things would be okay and love would finally be kind to you.

Scorpius Malfoy

Originally posted by luckybluegifs

You went on a Quidditch game, your house against Slytherin, you didn’t have anything against them, specially since you were dating one, but after that one Slytherin asshole hid all your belongings around the school, ridiculed your house and your friends it became all personal, and you wanted nothing more than your house to crush him and his team. Scorpius was a caring and protective boyfriend, but when it came to Quidditch you guys had agreed you’d cheer for your respective houses and never, ever argue about it. And as you watched the game, booing that shithead and rooting for your house as loud as you could, Scorpius watched you silently from the other side of the field, he observed your clothes all colored in respect for your house and how you laughed and cheered as your house scored. You looked so radiant and so beautiful in that moment, sticking up for your house and yourself, he didn’t know what came into him but when he realised what he was doing he already was in your house’s side of the field in the grandstand and his arms were wrapped around your waist. “What are you doing here?” You asked kissing his cheek, ecstatic to see him but confused since you’d agreed when games like that happened you wouldn’t talk about it or go together, to avoid fights. “I came to root for my girl and her house, no shithead has the right to do this to the girl I love.” “Even if he’s from your house?” “Even if he’s from my house. He’ll be hearing from me afterwards.” He said throwing an annoyed look at the boy, who stared at both of you. You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him right there, your friends cheered for you and let loud “awww”s as he pressed his body against yours, deepening the kiss. “I love you too, Malfoy.”


A/N: Hope u enjoy this sweets, x

Masterlist // Writing Schedule

When you use the “call” move, it draws off enemy attacks so that they’ll hit you instead of other party members. But it won’t work if the enemy isn’t targeting anyone in particular. In that case, they won’t even pay attention to your call.

Poor guy. Listen to his beautiful crow noises! Kah!

6

What’s your IQ?
101. I passed the bar exam with an IQ of 101. And I used to be an athlete on top of that. Do you know how hard I had to work to pass the bar? I was conflicted every day - I thought I was better off working and contributing to my family. I didn’t have the confidence to pass, but it was even harder seeing my mom work hard to support me. That’s how I got here.

It doesn’t matter if Bong Hee is “dirty but pretty” when she works because she gets the job done. She delivers not because she’s talented or intelligent, but because she works her ass off.

EXO’s Reaction to one of the members roasting you but you roast them twice as bad

———————-

Minseok:

*Proud momma duck. He was going to yell at the member who roasted you but hearing your reply made him smirk before giving you an applause.*

You: “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t know that just because you have a dick you can act like one.”

OH-!!! Damn baby, that was better than what I was going to do.”

Originally posted by xiaonancii96

Junmyeon:

*Also a proud momma duck. He was going to break up the fight but hearing what you said, he looked at you with a subtle smirk and winked.*

You: “You know, your mouth is moving but all I hear is ppfftt because all you’re saying is shit.”

That’s right, (Y/n). You tell him. That’s my girl.”

Originally posted by exoplathot

Yixing:

*Blushes at the fact that you can even come up with those words. In a way, he was also proud of you for defending yourself like that and it made him fall in love with you more.*

You: “What about my outfit? Oh, yeah and you look any better? Whatever look you were going for, you missed big time.”

Oh my god, you are perfect darling. I couldn’t come up with anything better. I think you look great anyway.”

Originally posted by lobbu-lobbu

Baekhyun:

*He’d lean back as he laughed and then fall off his chair shaking his head. He doesn’t want to believe that you said that but at the same time, it felt amazing to hear you say it.*

You: “No, keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

“!!!!!!!!! Do I laugh? Or do I stop her before this gets out of hand???”

Originally posted by veriloquentmind

Jongdae:

*Calmly sips his drink because he knew this was going to happen. He has been on the end of your roasting stick before and it is not fun. When the member looks at him for help, he doesn’t do anything but shrug because he can’t help them out of the hell they’ve walked themselves into.*

You: “Please, if I wanted to die, I would’ve climbed a ladder and then jump to your IQ.”

“Sorry buddy. I can’t help you out. I can only watch you burn up in flames as she roasts you. I’ve been there before and you just gotta try to survive through it.”

Chanyeol:

*A swear word would leave his mouth when he heard your roast. He’d act surprised at first but then laughs at the member’s face.*

You: “A thought just crossed your mind? That must have been a long and lonely road.”

“(Y/n)! Where did you come up with that! Should I laugh or stop this argument?”

Originally posted by littlebyuns

Kyungsoo:

*He’s snort, look away with a straight face and sip his drink. On the outside, he was calm but on the inside he was laughing in ass off. He knew you’d do well and he was trying to hide his face to keep him from bursting out in laughter.*

You: “Huh…too bad they can’t take you to jail for being stupid.”

But that ain’t my business.”

Jongin:

*He’d probably choke on his drink at hearing what you said. Then he’d go and hug you for the great comeback.*

You: “Hey, do you want your nose back? It was in my business.”

Baby come here! I need to hug you and keep you out from doing more damage to my member’s ego.”

Sehun:

*The drink that was in his mouth was now all over the table and he’d be too busy laughing to even clean it up.*

You: “Are you like, related to a cactus? Because you’re kind of being a prick right now.”

“O-oh shit! Baby, where did you learn comebacks like that? Please teach me.”

———————

MASTERLIST

Can It, Sassifer.

Anon: Hey can you do one where the reader is Lucifer’s little sister , the youngest archangel and she and Lucifer are constantly fighting for Sam’s attention , she likes Sam and Lucifer wants to just already use Sam as a vessel .
Anon: Can u write a fanfic about Lucifer’s little sister , she has a crush on Sam and she ain’t afraid to show it , she is very sarcastic and has an enormous amount of sass like her brother , and she and Lucifer are always fighting for Sam’s attention . Can u make it funny

So, I got two anon asks for basically the same thing, so I did them both in the same story. I hope you guys like it! Like always, feel free to message/ask me with critiques and comments!

Summary: You, the archangel sister of Lucifer with a similar attitude, has a crush on Sam Winchester. You decide to visit during the aftermath of the Cage (Season 7)

Warnings: None

Tags: @winchesters-favorite-girl @the-third-winchester-warrior
@fandomspecialist101 @random-superwholock-images @nerdy-free-writes @jensen-jarpad @lil-sister-winchester @daughters-and-winsisters @winchester-sisters-imagines @mysweetcookie99

“Oh, sure,” you mutter for the upteenth time in eternity. “You get all the fun stuff of messing around with Sam’s head and what do I get?”

“Here we go again…” Lucifer rolls his eyes.

You gesture to your surrounding environment with both arms. “The Cage! Full of wonderful attractions galore! And over in this corner we have a giant piece of metal connected to another piece of metal! And in the other corner, more metal, trapping me with the biggest idiot of a brother for all eternity!” Some days weren’t that bad in Hell, but most of the time, you’d go off on sarcastic rants for hours. It wasn’t the worst boredom coping strategy, but it drove your archangel brother insane.

“Would you let it go already?”

“NO! I’m not letting this go! YOU’RE the main reason that we’re stuck here in the first place!! You just had to go and possess the one person who had even a chance of resisting you! Never mind that you had a perfectly good vessel you were already using-”

“Who was burning to death-”

“Who wouldn’t have tossed us in here!”

“Oh, don’t give me that crap. This is just like back at the wack-house.”

You raise your eyebrows. “You wanna go there? Really?”

“I’m not the one who kept trying to get Sam to play spin the bottle.”

You try to keep your face from turning red in your shared prison. “Oh, like you were any better. Streamers and pinatas?”

Lucifer shrugs. “I like donkeys.”

“Not according to the last election, you don’t.”

**************************************************************

You stroll up into the pale mental hospital room to the bedside of your favorite human: Sam Winchester. Sure, you were a pretty pissy archangel like your brother, but something about the Winchester boy made you feel more than indifference towards a vessel.

“Hey, Sam. Wake up,” you whisper. He stirs in his restless sleep a little. You glance around the room. “Lucifer’s on his way. I don’t know how long until he’ll come, but be prepared. There’s some serious crap he’s throwing your way today.”

“And you know this…how?” Sam mumbles tiredly.

You scoff. “Because both of us are in your head, dingbat. Now, do yourself a favor and hide the chair!”

“Chair?”

“Why do I like you?” you mutter not really under your breath. “Yes, you hulking mess of hotness, the chair! Unless you want to deal with-”

“GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNINGGGGGGGGG!!!” Your warning is cut off. You bite your tongue and close your eyes as your annoying celestial brother appears from nowhere. Sam covers his head with the bed’s pillow, trying to drown out the brutal singing of the archangel.

“Rise and shine campers! And don’t forget your booties because it’s cold out there!”

“You quote the Bill Murray movie one more time and I swear I’ll-”

“Don’t swear sis, you’re an angel!”

You roll your eyes bitterly before you survey the new level of insanity your brother has reached. “What in the unholy mother of Metatron are you wearing??”

Lucifer is decked out in party hats, streamers, confetti glued to his face, balloons, those weird kazoo-paper-shooty-things that almost never work…it’s like a demented birthday package exploded on his person. He shrugs. “It’s my birthday.”

“No it’s not!”

“Uh,” he scoffs, “it is now. Because I say it is. Isn’t that right, Samantha?”

Sam is doing his best to ignore the new appearance of the world’s most hated figure in history, but he’s failing miserably. It would take a sloth on morphine to not notice the absolute absurdity of your brother. He sighs and rubs his eyes.

“Just…both of you…”

“Not today, smokestack. I need your help right now.” Luci whips out a classic pinata from nowhere. The multi-colored paper rustles gently as he shakes it up and down. “No party’s complete without one of these babies. But, unfortunately, I grudgingly admit I don’t have the height to hang this up from the ceiling. So, you gonna help a brother out or what?”

“We are not brothers.” Sam hardens his gaze at Lucifer. “If you ever call me that again, I will rip you limb from limb and roast your bones.”

You sigh dreamily. You love it when the Winchester boy talks murderously. So…sanguinary. Mmm. Just makes your heart flap around in your chest.

Lucifer shrugs. “So, does that mean if I break it, I get the candy?”

“You’ll be fighting me for it. C’mon.” Yes, you hated your brother, but candy filled pinatas? Million-year old grudges could be put on hold for sugar. You start to climb on top of Lucifer’s shoulders.

“Watch the head.”

“Oh, like I’m damaging precious cargo.” You string up the rainbow donkey. “I got dibs on first whack!”

“Ah, ah, ah. Age before beauty, little sister.”

You whip out a human femur bone from somewhere. “Not if I’ve got the bat.” You point to a disgusted looking Sam with the body part.
“You want up?” Sam closes his eyes and lies on the bed. You shrug. “Your loss then.”

You pull back the femur bone, ready to knock the crap out of the flimsy donkey when-

“Hey!” You protest as a blindfold is placed over your eyes.

“You may be the queen of cheating, but that has no place in the head of Sam Winchester.”

“Can it, Sassifer and let me swing before I think you’re full of candy for me to beat open. Oh wait…”

“Sassifer. I like that.” you hear Lucifer muse. “I’ve been needing a new name. Thanks, Sis. What do you think Sam?”

Sam is silent again. Trying to ignore everything you guess. Sam…my poor, sweet, selfless Sam…

“You know what? We should totally play spin the bottle after this!”

You feel your face heat up as you crack down the femur bone on where Lucifer’s voice came from. The bone shatters in your hands.

“OWWWW!”

You smirk and take the blindfold off your face. “All talk and no brains. It’s like I’m speaking to a walking mouth.”

Lucifer suddenly tackles you and the two of you begin wrestling, glitter flying, balloons popping. Sam looks over at the chaos you two are causing.

“Guys…you’re gonna break something unless you…you know what? Neither of you are real, so never mind.”

“Not real?” you choke out in a strangled voice; Lucifer has an arm around your neck before you flip him onto the floor and break free. You race over to Sam and kiss his cheek, feeling redder than before. “Does that feel ‘not real’ to you?”

“Hey! Paws off my buddy, sis! I still want an untainted vessel someday!”

“Oh, go find a cliff to jump off of.”

“Aw, now you don’t mean that.”

“You know what? If you wanted the best way to kill yourself, jump from your ego and land on your IQ”

Sam snorts in the background; you feel your heart flutter with his approval. Lucifer is stunned speechless. You smile. “Well, as much as I love these conversations, I really should be going. Sam, good luck dealing with this psycho. Save a spin-the-bottle round for me!” You blow a kiss in his general direction and disappear.

Tutor ∾ m.dl.c

posted 6/4/17

request? yes
   “ #14 , fem!reader, Montgomery please! ”
prompt #14: reader and character is making fun of each other which leads to making out/smut

pairing(s): montgomery x fem!reader

warning(s): fingering, and that’s it

a/n: okok, so this is my first smut like, eVer - so deep apologies if this is bad
++ i wrote this on my way to school so guess who thought about having sex with montgomery for a good 2 hours? :’)
+ THIS IS SO BAD OML, I’M SORRY


“Can you tutor me today?”

You roll your eyes and slam your locker shut, turning on your heel to face the brunette haired boy behind you. “Your ego is bigger than your IQ, Montgomery. So I don’t think so.” you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. “And your ass is as big as your head.” Montgomery chuckles, you rolling your eyes once again as the both of you walk out of Liberty High together.

“You know people say that your shoe size matches the size of your dick?” you laugh, looking down at Montgomery’s - surprisingly - large feet.

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