your humor is the best thing ever

Interview the Muse
  • - What is your Full name? Include any maiden names, aliases, or nicknames.
  • - When is your birthday? Do you know where you were born and at what time?
  • - What is your star sign? Do you know your Chinese Zodiac too?
  • - What is your earliest memory that you can remember?
  • - Where was your childhood home? Was it more urban or rural?
  • - How was your childhood in general? Did your parents treat you well? Did you have a lot of friends?
  • - How was/is school? What is your favorite and least favorite subjects? What were your grades on average?
  • - Did you have a best friend growing up? What was their name? Are you still in touch?
  • - Were you in any cliques?
  • - Best childhood memory you can recall?
  • - Worst childhood memory you can recall?
  • - Name an event in your childhood that has shaped you into the person you are today
  • - What is the dumbest thing you have ever done to impress someone? Were they impressed or was it all for naught?
  • - Did you ever have any sweethearts or lovers? Do you have a boy/girlfriend?
  • - Are you a virgin?
  • - Do you ever plan on getting married in your life? Do you want kids?
  • - Would you rather have your own kids or adopt? How many kids would you want?
  • - Do you think you'd be a protective parent or a relaxed parent?
  • - How would you prefer to pass away? Surrounded by loved ones and at peace, or while doing something heroic?
  • - Generally, how healthy are you? Do you get sick or injured easily or are you fit?
  • - Have you ever been badly injured before?
  • - What is the worst injury you have ever gotten? What was it and how did it happen? Were you ever close to death?
  • - How many times have you been to the hospital/doctor's?
  • - Have you ever had a concussion or brain injury? Have you ever had amnesia?
  • - What was the worst illness you ever contacted? Do you know what it was? How long were you sick?
  • - Ever had any extended hospital stays? What for?
  • - Have you ever had to give yourself or someone else emergency first aid? What happened?
  • - Are you employed? Where do you work and who do you work for? What do you do?
  • - Are you happy with your current job?
  • - Did you have any previous jobs? What were they and what did you do?
  • - Most dangerous thing you have ever done?
  • - Do you consider yourself a more active person or a more relaxed person?
  • - What is your dream come true? How about your worst nightmare?
  • - What is the biggest and most important goal you have set for yourself?
  • - How persistent would you say you are? How much does it take to get you to give up on a task?
  • - Would you surrender yourself to your enemies or fight to the very end?
  • - When do you usually do your shopping? What is currently on your shopping list?
  • - Top three things on your wishlist?
  • - Currently, what is something you want but do not need?
  • - Do you like shopping? What is your favorite thing to shop for?
  • - What is the most expensive thing you have purchased? Was it worth it?
  • - What would you do if you were suddenly given one billion dollars out of the blue?
  • - What would you describe your style of clothing as?
  • - Do you have any hobbies? Name all of them if you can.
  • - Do you like and appreciate art? What is your favorite piece of artwork?
  • - Do you like music? What is your favorite style of music?
  • - Have you ever seen any musicals? What is your favorite?
  • - What are your top three favorite animals? What would you say your "Patronus" or "Spirit Animal" is?
  • - What are your top three favorite colors?
  • - What is your favorite season? Do you prefer hotter or colder weather? Do you like snow at all?
  • - What kind of flavors do you prefer: Sweet, Sour, Bitter, Spicy, Dry, or Umami (savory meat taste)?
  • - Can you cook at all?
  • - What is your favorite dish? Can you prepare it? Do you have the recipe handy?
  • - What is your favorite fruit and vegetable?
  • - What is your favorite dessert? What is your favorite type of candy/treat?
  • - What is the best thing you have ever had the opportunity to eat? What is the worst?
  • - Do you like to drink tea or coffee? Any favorite flavors?
  • - Describe your sense of humor.
  • - What is one thing you are justly proud of?
  • - Do you have any religious beliefs? If not, have you ever been to a church service?
  • - What would you say is the worst thing someone has done to you? What is the meanest thing someone has ever said to you?
  • - What is the worst thing you have done to someone? What is the meanest thing you have said to anyone?
  • - Share the latest entry in your diary/journal.
  • - What is the most precious thing you own? Is it valuable at all?
  • - Talk about someone you know. It can be someone you either like or dislike.

Summary: Bucky and Steve will never let you know that they’re the heads of your booty’s fanclub.

Authors note: It was so hard to find old timey slang for butt. Like we have so many words now I was surprised lmao.

Warnings: None, Bucky and Steve appreciating that cake

  Your jeans only make it halfway up your thighs before they refuse to budge. You groan.

‘And this was my favorite pair too’

You sigh, before peeling off the jeans and rooting around in your dresser for something that you can wear. You never were the skinniest person, especially when it came to your hips and thighs. But then again you never were exactly bootylicious either. So when you became a SHEILD agent you thought your body would kinda slim down into a  svelte mass of lean, toned muscle like the other female agents.

 Boy were you wrong. 

You gained muscle, and a lot of it too. Every single inch of you had at least some definition and your thighs had bulked up considerably. As for your butt….You sneak a peek at it in the mirror ‘I swear it gets bigger every day’ . Since you had joined the Avengers last year and your training had gotten even more intense you swear your booty had doubled in size. Your body was very… in your face nowadays. Wanda kindly described you as ‘shapely’. You pull out a pair of denim shorts that have some slight stretch to them.

You look at yourself in the mirror sighing. ‘ If I get anymore shapely I’m gonna have to buy an entire new wardrobe.’ 

“Pal, why is ya oatmeal always so…” Steve makes a face “…Soggy?”

Bucky and Steve are sitting eating breakfast, at a table that’s situated slightly back and across from the kitchen, next to an open door. Bucky snorts.

“It’s oatmeal Steve, it’s supposed to be soggy.” Steve rolls his eyes but takes another bite of his oatmeal, making a mental note to make breakfast himself the next morning.

Bucky lets out a soft, low whistle. Steve turns his his head, slowly. He knows what that whistle means. He watches as you enter from the other side of the room, cross the kitchen and start rifling in the cabinets. Or rather he watches your ass cross the kitchen and start rifling in the cupboards. You Steve, and Bucky were pretty good friends. You had surprisingly befriended Bucky first, and then Steve. Bucky had been making a good recovery, but was still kind of shy, except around Steve and Sam, and then you. Your sense of humor and openness kind of disarmed him. The three of you would always hang out, watch movies, and talk about anything and everything. But the one thing that Bucky and Steve would never mention is that they both agreed that you by far had the best body they had ever seen. And they were low-key its fan club. The super soldier’s eyes track you as you gather your cup of tea and cheese danish in one hand and exit the room.

“Now ain’t that a beautiful sight to see in the morning?” Bucky says, smirking and sipping his coffee. 

“Yes,” Steve smirks back “As I always say,the lady is truly blessed.”

“Amen.” Bucky says raising his coffee mug. “I mean have you ever seen such beautiful gams on a dame?”

“No,”  Steve pushes back his bowl of soggy oatmeal and crosses his arms over his chest. A devious grin forms on his face. “But that’s not the only thing that’s beautiful.”

Bucky’s grin widens to epic shit eating proportions. “True, Y/N’s a bit broad in the beam, ain’t she?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

 Your voice coming from behind them nearly stops both super soldier’s hearts. They turn, mouths slack, to find you standing in the doorway behind their table, tea and cheese danish in one hand, the other perched on your hip.

“Ah-um-I-um” Steve splutters, unable to form words. Bucky, on the other hand, decides distraction is the best course of action.

“Y/N! Sugar, sweetheart, you look lovely today. How’s that cheese danish? I heard the weather’s going to be nice , maybe we should go to the park?” He exclaims, red slowly creeping up his neck until his whole face is scarlet. You silently look from Steve to Bucky. ‘Well if they’re not gonna spill, Google will’

You pull out your phone and look at it. “Well looks like I have somewhere to be so I’ll see you boys later.”

You turn, hearing twin goodbye’s being called out after you, with at least one voice cracking in the middle.

You retreat back your room and fire up your laptop. Bucky and Steve were always using obscure old timey slang that no one understood. ‘they better haven’t been throwing shade…’ you shake your head. It seemed like they were talking about something physical about you, and not in a bad way. You feel warm and kind of insecure at the same time. You couldn’t deny that the two super soldiers were very attractive.

You open google and type “gams meaning” into the search engine.




plural noun: gams

  1. a leg, especially in reference to the shapeliness of a woman’s leg.

A giggle escapes your mouth. ‘oh my’ you think.

You type the next phrase into Google, and click on the phrase dictionary that comes up.

Broad in the beam


Having wide hips or buttocks

You stare at the screen for a moment and then  recall the overheard conversation. Your mouth falls open as you choke out a laugh ‘Oh my god’

Later that day you find Bucky,Steve and Sam sitting outside. You join them, and they all greet you, but you notice Bucky isn’t looking you in the eye and Steve’s ears are pink. Sam doesn’t seem to notice the tension and dives into a story about sweeping a girl off her feet in the local coffee shop.

“…then she gave me her number.”

“That’s great!” Steve says “You gonna take her out soon?”

“Yeah this weekend”

“That is great,” Bucky smiles “What does she look like?” he asks curiously.

“Man she had the cutest laugh, and those dimples…” Sam pauses, smiling to himself. “She had short dark hair, and was so curvy… damn.” Everyone chuckles a bit at this, and after the chuckles stop you pipe up.

“Curvy? Sam get with the times, you don’t call women curvy anymore, its called being broad in the beam.” You say and smirk at the two super soldiers. They promptly turn bright red, Bucky choking a little bit. Sam whips his head back and forth between the three of you.

“Am I missing something?” he asks.

 Steve clears his throat, holding out his hands imploringly.

“Y/n, sugar, listen. I can explain”

tags: @stephie-senpai @chamongangae


YIKES! I just found out I’m the longest resident EVER at the animal control shelter  in Athens, Georgia.

Hi, I’m Biz, and I asked my best volunteer friend why no one had picked me. She said it’s really just because everyone at the shelter loves me too much to let me go! AWWWW!

Then she admitted that was selfish and she ran right out and asked the Shelter Pet Project to feature me, and here I am!

As you can tell, I’m super-happy. I love to give kisses and play  with the other dogs at the shelter. I’m cheerful, affectionate, and playful. I have a great sense of humor and some pretty awesome ears!

I haven’t mastered that “fetch” game the humans like so much, but I can toss my own ball in the air and catch it all day! Also, when I feel like some love, I will just lie right next to you and plop my paws in your lap! BEST. THING. EVER. Guaranteed!

And when I know you have treats? Wait til you see my puppy dog eyes!

I’m two years old, healthy, neutered, and weigh 45 pounds of pure sweetness. To learn more or meet me, just email my buds at

Not near me? Re-blogging saves lives!




I love these trope examples of nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion by @sepulchritude, and so I couldn’t resist drawing them. The best part was coming up with the aliens! :D (Yes centaurs are cool, I don’t see why that’s important.) Hope I did your headcanons proud, @sepulchritude​! 


This is the single most important thing I’ve learned in the last year of getting my sh*t together. 

Hang out with them. Don’t know any? Read memoirs of people who are doing a thing you might like to do. Find their interviews. Listen to their ted talks and podcast interviews.

Hang out with people who motivate you to do your best. People who are fucking cool, or who are doing something you’d love to do. People who share the same values as you, or the values you want to have.

You literally are what you consume – the mirror effect.

Default me is a sarcastic bitch with a Wednesday Addams sense of humor who adores the ever loving shit out of true crime. A carefully developed crusty exterior. And it’s exhausting. It only fed into my natural, depressive, negative self.

I swapped most of my macabre podcasts for upbeat and positive ones. I started reading books that inspired me and songs that encouraged me to take walks. A friend at work – one of the two people who have inspired me to do better, be better – and I swap podcast, article, and book recs. She, like me, is always interested in doing something better, in being better.

And the other person is a tumblr friend who turned into a best friend and the healthiest, most vulnerable, supportive relationship I’ve ever had. She also encourages me to be my best self, and I encourage her to be hers.

Two people. That’s all it took to turn my life around.


The Pros And Cons Of Dating Each Zodiac Sign

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

Pros: Aries are up for any adventure and are very fun. Their energy is contagious, and the chemistry between you is AMAZING.

Cons: They can be way too hard on themselves and will shut you out during those times. They’re notorious for not returning emails, calls, and texts.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

Pros: Taureans are very lovable and will make you feel safe and protected. There’s a good chance they can cook like nobody’s business, but even if they can’t, they know how to make mac and cheese like a boss.

Cons: They can get stuck sometimes and not want to do anything. If you’re someone who doesn’t do well with stubborn people, you may want to stay away from a Taurus; their stubbornness is legendary.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Pros: You’ll never get bored dating a Gemini. They’re super-smart, are great talkers, and they’ll always put your needs and feelings first.

Cons: Because Geminis are so intelligent, they can be know-it-alls and unintentionally make you feel intellectually inferior. They also have a habit of overthinking things and getting upset for the wrong reasons.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

Pros: Cancers will treat you right and you can trust them with anything. Tell them all your secrets, it’s OK. Cancers are always the sign that excels at commitment.

Cons: Can you say mood swings? One minute they couldn’t be happier, and the next, they’re in a dark place. And forget about trying to get them to tell you what’s wrong. Defensiveness, thy name is Cancer.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Pros: There are so many fantastic things about Leos: their humor, their ability to make things exciting and fun, and how they’re super-hot. You’ll make the best memories with a Leo.

Cons: Leos aren’t known for their sensitivity regarding other people’s feelings, and without meaning to, they can be kind of a jerk. When they hurt you, it’s hard to get them to take responsibility for it.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

Pros: Virgos can be the sweetest people ever and will always consider your feelings. They’re adorable in the way they can be so serious and grown up. They’re reliable and will never stand you up or make you find your own way home.

Cons: They can tend to be overly sensitive and doubt your sincerity when you try to help them to feel better about themselves.

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

Pros: Libras are the best kissers in the zodiac. They’re also excellent flirts and will make you feel attractive and vibrant.

Cons: They hate conflict, so rather than break up with you face-to-face, they’ll just ghost you and you’ll never know what set them off. Libras will also sometimes tease you well past the time it gets annoying.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

Pros: When you connect with a Scorpio it’s usually at a very deep, intense level—that includes sexually and emotionally. Like everything with a Scorpio, dating is done with passion.

Cons: That intensity is both a good and bad thing. Scorpios can get so serious that it can be overwhelming and a little scary. Not everything needs to be a huge, melodramatic deal.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

Pros: Sagittarians are really fun, funny, and upbeat. They’re a good time in the form of a star sign. They’re totally up for new experiences and they love connecting with new people mentally.

Cons: They’re stimulated by new things, so it can be challenging to get them to settle down and commit. They give off a lot of mixed signals, so good luck knowing where you stand.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Pros: You don’t have to worry about a Capricorn being faithful to you; they’re completely trustworthy and loyal. They won’t wait for holidays or your birthday to make you feel special, and they will forever be giving you flowers and gifts for no occasion.

Cons: They can be really controlling, and you may feel stifled. Capricorns can be manipulative without even being aware of it.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

Pros: An Aquarius will surprise you with their constant stream of unique thoughts. They’re always up for trying new things, whether it’s a restaurant or club. When you’re seeing an Aquarius, you’ll always feel comfortable and at ease. You can be your true self with an Aquarius.

Cons: Sometimes Aquarians are too much in their head and very little in their heart; emotions can be a little troublesome for them. They can also get weirdly aggressive if they’re not the person in charge in a situation.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Pros: Pisces will completely understand you and your sensitivity. They’ll make you laugh until you pee, and will not only be your bae but your best friend as well.

Cons: They can be ultra sensitive, becoming closed off without explaining what you did or said to make them so hurt and angry. There could be major miscommunication issues.

anonymous asked:

Make out session with Levi story/headcannon thing?

This got so out of control, omg. And the best thing about writing for Levi is not only making y’all happy, but making mod Spookzz happy as well since Levi is her bae. Anyways, takes place in a modern AU where Levi is a lawyer. Enjoy, anon! 

The sound of the lock turning and the jingle of a set of keys forcefully shoved you out of the reverie you had fallen into and you glanced at the door in anticipation. A large stack of papers sat untouched on the coffee table, but you paid no heed to it, too invested in your apartment door opening; or, rather, just who was walking through it.

It was fairly obvious that Levi was exhausted. The bags beneath his eyes were dark violet in color, which only indicated that he probably hadn’t slept on his ten hour plane ride despite having his own private quarters. “Tough flight?” you asked rhetorically, taking his jacket from over his arm in order to hang it up in the coat closet.

 “A shit show,” replied Levi as he wheeled his suitcase off to a corner and walked into the kitchen area. If he was in no hurry to unpack his clothes in case they were wrinkled, then it was super obvious that he had a hell of a time getting home. You watched in silent awe for a split second as Levi’s arm muscles stretched against his shirt’s fabric, the sleeves rolled over his forearms while he rummaged through a cabinet, searching for something that you could only guess was tea. It wasn’t uncommon for you to step back and admire your boyfriend’s physique because you were fairly positive he was, single-handedly, the most attractive man you ever laid eyes on in your entire life, but this was only amplified by the fact that you had gone for two whole months without being able to see him save for infrequent Skype calls.

 You crossed your arms over your chest and reluctantly pried your eyes away from his ass in favor of looking him in the eye. “Crying baby? Turbulence?” you offered in slight amusement.

 When Levi finished placing the kettle on the stove, he braced his back on the counter and revealed, “No. Every time the flight attendant saw me placing the cushion down on the chair to try and get some sleep, she’d insist on doing it and tucking me in like a fucking five year old.”

 A chuckle escaped through your lips, only to grow into pure laughter at the thought of how grumpy Levi must have been at the poor woman who was only trying to do her job. Levi hated being touched by strangers, after all. “That’s what you get when you fly first class on a flight that’s longer than seven hours.”

 “Erwin can shove it up his ass next time he forces me to go out of the country,” Levi humorously stated, even if he wasn’t trying to be funny, intentionally.

 You rolled your eyes at his typical antics and motioned towards the microwave. “I made you lunch a little while ago, but it should still be warm.”

 “…You cooked and didn’t burn down the entire apartment?” Although it was a question, Levi had worded it more like a statement, much to you annoyance. Huffing, you pushed past him and opened the microwave, revealing the plate you had made. While you weren’t the most spectacular chef to ever live, your best friend had been delicately coaching you on how to make simple things when Levi wasn’t home to cook. While your arrangement of cooking and cleaning duties worked just fine, you had wanted to do something nice for him since he had been eating out every night for the last two months.

“I already ate some earlier, you ass. It’s fine.”

In lieu of firing back and bruising your ego over its lackluster presentation, Levi merely sighed and placed the plate back into the microwave, heading towards the couch where he sat down with his freshly brewed mug. “I’ll shower then eat. There’s some stuff I need to get taken care of at the office.”

 Of all the things Levi could have said, the last thing you had been expecting was for him to head back to work. He was tired and you were deprived for eight whole weeks; like hell was Erwin stealing anymore of your time with him.

 Before he could even protest, you marched towards the couch and straddled his lap. Leaning in just a few centimeters from his lips, you restrained yourself from tasting him in order to declare, “No way. I haven’t seen you in two months. Erwin can handle paperwork or whatever the hell he has to do on his own.”

 Levi sighed and placed his mug off to the side, those gunmetal gray eyes that you had come to know and love inching down to the shape of your lips. Angling his head, his mouth brushed against your own and, just for a moment, you reciprocated and melted against him. Just as one of his hands carded in your hair and the other inched down to your waist, you reluctantly pulled away from him and smirked. “Nice try, but you’re not getting anything until you tell me you’re not going anywhere.”

 “You goddamn tease,” he muttered underneath his breath, which did a lot to inflate your ego even if it was just by a fraction. The defeat in his voice sang true of your minor victory, but nothing could have prepared you for the way he crashed his mouth back to your own in a desperate, heated kiss. Turning your head to the side, you shivered as soon as his hand began to trace down your spine, lingering close to the curve and dip of your lower back. It was hot and it was needy, but you could tell just in that moment that Levi had missed you just as much as you had missed him.

 When his tongue traced your bottom lip, you complied with vigor, your hands moving down to settle against the rigid muscles of his chest. Against your lips, you felt Levi smirk as his tongue explored your mouth, earning him a quiet noise of approval as his hand brushed across your thigh. Wanting the upper-hand for just a minute, you playfully nipped at his lip after he retracted his tongue before you braced your hands on his shoulders and pushed down, using all of your weight to hover over him to grind your hips into his own.

 “Fuck,” he groaned into your lips, breaking away from you in order to latch his mouth to your neck. Bracing his hand on the back of your head, he pulled you down and continued to pepper a line of hot kisses until he reached the junction of your neck where he ran his hot tongue across the area where shoulder met collarbone.

 You sighed in complete bliss, dark and lustful eyes meeting his own underneath you. “You are not allowed to leave the country ever again,” you declared, tilting your head back down in order to meet his lips for yet another mind-blowing kiss. He parted and took a moment to hold the side of your face in an almost uncharacteristically tender manner, studying your features as if trying to map them into the back of his subconscious.

 Tilting your cheek into his palm, you sighed and quietly confessed, “I missed you.”

 “Yeah. Me too.”

torreys-husband  asked:

For the angst text fic PRINXIETY, Virgil finding out at one point prince only got with him because of a dare and was gonna leave him, but he fell in love... Bringing the cliches

ooh this one hurts

human au cos i think it fits better


Virgil 🖤 1:01am
so when the fuck were u gonna tell me that dating me was a dare

Roman 💛1:02am
What are you even talking about? Virgil it is one in the morning, and we have early classes tomorrow. go to sleep.

Virgil 🖤1:04am
cut the crap Roman. Logan & Patton told me everything. ur shitty theater friend dared u to ask me out and that’s the only fucking reason we’re dating

Roman 💛 1:05am
Love.. I promise that’s not the only reason we’re dating. yes, i was dared, but i fell in love with you! i promise that’s true.

Roman 💛 1:08am
Virgil, please.

Virgil 🖤 1:11am
why the fuck should i believe u

Roman 💛1:12am
cos i love you Virgil !

Virgil 🖤1:13am
yeah and i can’t believe that now, Roman

Roman 💛1:14am
what exactly did Patton & Logan tell you

Virgil 🖤1:17am
they said they overheard u playing truth or dare with ur theater friends at one of ur stupid parties. “Hey Roman I dare you to ask that weird emo kid out. I think he likes you. Man, that would be hilarious.” , “Oh, Virgil? I don’t know guys.” , “You gotta take the dare.” , “Yeah, okay. But im not staying with him.” , “Of course not.” or something like that. u never wanted to fucking date me, Roman. fuck off with ur “im in love with you” bullshit. bye.

Roman 💛1:19am
Virgil I’m so so sorry. please talk to me.

Roman 💛1:21am
i shouldn’t have taken the dare. i shouldn’t have hurt you like this, but i promise i love you. i love you more than you could ever know.

Roman 💛1:23am
i fell in love with your snarky comments and dark humor. i fell in love with your mischievous smirks and the adorable giggles you try to stifle. i even fell in love with your dark emo style cos it’s so uniquely you and im so fucking sorry okay? please forgive me. i want to be with you, and i promise ill never do something as stupid as the fucking dare ever again. please, little prince?

Roman 💛1:26am
please, Virgil. i love you so much. ik i said i shouldn’t have done that stupid dare, but it was honestly the best thing to ever happen to me. it was shitty yeah, but it gave me you.

Virgil 🖤1:28am
u really mean all of that?

Roman 💛1:29am
every last word. i love you, and i do regret hurting you deeply.

Virgil 🖤1:31am
well fuck i love u too u idiot. but im not letting u off that easy

Roman 💛1:33am
that’s understandable. ill do whatever it takes to make it up to you, my love.

Virgil 🖤1:35am
well u can start with buying me coffee before class tomorrow im gonna be fucking dead

Roman 💛1:36am
it would be my pleasure, dear. you should really try to sleep now.

Virgil 🖤1:38am
idk if i can im still a little shaken up

Roman 💛1:40am
from what? oh dear did you have an anxiety attack?

Virgil 🖤1:42am
yeah but im fine

Roman 💛1:43am
oh, my love. im so sorry. do you want me to sneak over to your dorm?

Virgil 🖤1:45am
idk Logan might want to kill me if u do. he stayed up late studying

Virgil 🖤1:45am
just be really quiet. that dumb nerd needs to sleep

Roman 💛1:47am
of course. ill be right over. i love you my dear emo 💖

Virgil 🖤1:48am
yeah yeah i love u too Princey. see ya in a min xx


idek if this is good or exactly what you wanted but hey i tried

✨send me a sanders sides ship & a texting prompt✨

The Audacity of Kim Junmyeon (2)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Part 6 | Part 7

Description: Kim Junmyeon, your neighbor and ex best friend suddenly begins taking to you after nearly six years of silence. Although he may be talking to you, he’s not the most…decent person now that he’s grown up.

Warnings: vulgar language. Fuckboy-ism. Slight smut. Everyone stays clothed for now.

Word Count: 2,510

Pairing: Kim Junmyeon (Suho) x Reader / Park Chanyeol x Reader


Originally posted by eyesmiletrash

Junmyeon didn’t talk to you for a couple days and you were thankful for that. You didn’t want to deal with him. You stared at your ceiling that night and wondered what had gone so wrong in Junmyeon’s life to make him act like this.

Not that you cared. You stopped caring six years ago when he stopped talking to you. Both of him and Chanyeol weren’t present at school that day, and it kind of weirded you out. You and Chanyeol were supposed to be working on your project.

Keep reading

BTS | Reaction to playing Cards Against Humanity for the first time *NSFW*

Now if you haven’t played the game (which I highly recommend you do), it’s a card game that let’s you release your sickest sense of humor possible ever. A black card is read by one person and the other people choose a white card(s) from their hand to finish the black card and the person who read the black card chooses the winner of that round and you do that until all the cards are gone or you’re just done playing if you’re like me and have a shit ton of expansions. <— I really hope that all made sense.

Keep reading

29 Tips of Life According to Jenna Marbles

1. Don’t feed your gerbils a pencil because they will die.

2. You should always keep things that you might not think are special now, but you will think are special someday.

3. Always have as many animals as you can.

4. A rock tumbler is exclusively for rocks only.

5. Say yes to things sometimes, even when you don’t feel like it.

6. Be the last person to go to bed when you’re hanging out with your friends on the weekend.

7. Don’t ever mix lots of types of spray tan together.

8. You don’t ever have to take your life seriously, but you should always take your education seriously, and your continued life education seriously.

9. Just because someone dares you to do something, doesn’t mean you should actually do it.

10. Don’t ever get too wrapped up in the present moment and your present troubles.

11. You can avoid many embarrassing adult moments by learning how to use chopsticks at an early age.

12. If you ever find an abandoned shopping cart, keep it (especially if you live in a city).

13. Always be as prepared as possible.

14. Don’t ever put gack or gum in your hair (it won’t come out, you’ll have to cut it off).

15. Don’t ever directly inhale a bunch of incense.

16. If you find something that looks like a lighter in a room that you’re staying in, don’t try and click the little thingy to turn it on; it’s pepper spray. And once you spray yourself in the face with it to keep embarrassing you after the fact, while you’re coughing and spitting, they’re going to have to evacuate the whole floor because everyone else is coughing and spitting too so just keep it in the drawer and just don’t touch it.

17. Don’t ever eat a pound of celery in one sitting.

18. Robert Redford is not a President-turned-actor.

19. Don’t trust cats or ferrets.

20. It’s probably not the safest thing to let your kids play with power tools.

21. Craigslist is actually the best place to find roommates and friends for life (it’s the friend of a friend of a friend on Facebook that you have to be worried about).

22. Always find the humor in everything.

23. Don’t ever put up with people’s bullshit. Ever. Not even a little bit.

24. Acrylic toenails are gross.

25. No matter how dope you think they are, don’t ever wear loose shoes on a roller coaster. They will go flying off into another dimension.

26. Don’t ever let someone else convince you that what you like to spend your time doing is a waste.

27. Don’t ever have a pet (or even a baby) if you don’t like being scratched. It’s just gonna happen.

28. Always talk to everyone.

29. If you always put out positive energy into the universe, you will get it back. If you just wake up in the morning, and you think about how grateful you are to have clean water to drink and food to eat, the rest of the day is fucking easy, man. Just small stuff that you take for granted, the fact that maybe you’re healthy or that you have a family that loves you. Focus on the things that you have, and not the things that you don’t have, and always be kind to other people, and you will always get it back. You can get anywhere that you want in life without fucking other people over and without being a jerk. You don’t have to climb a ladder, you don’t have to compete with people, you can just do the best that you can and that is good enough.

Thanks to jennamarbles for lending the world her knowledge. <3

Dean said he’s straight, therefore he is (because lying about feelings is a thing he NEVER does)

The fact that I am forced to write a post debunking this particular line of reasoning makes me feel something akin to abject despair if only because it demonstrates how epically terrible a large number of people are at BASIC textual analysis. I am daunted by the prospect due solely to the fact that there is literally SO MUCH canon evidence for Dean’s compulsions toward lying and denial that I feel in some ways I cannot possibly do it justice in a single post. 

I am not going to attempt to draw out every instance Dean has ever lied in Supernatural because this post would literally be about 10 miles long if I tried. Even if I confined my examples solely to instances where he is shown (or implied) to be lying/in denial about his emotions or mental states, it would still be way too time consuming and arduous to document them all, due to sheer volume. Therefore methodologically I’ve chosen to “cherry-pick” a few examples simply to establish that Dean lying about his feelings IS a consistent, established part of Supernatural’s canon, and therefore the suggestion that his statement about his own sexuality should be taken at face value is nonsensical. 

Let’s start with the “Pilot” wherein Dean gives what has become one his signature lines “No chick-flick moments.” Translation - no being honest about feelings. Only girls do that. This moment is especially key in that it hits 2 of Dean’s consistent overlapping anxieties 1) being honest about feelings and 2) being girly, both of which are key in the argument that Dean is also PRECISELY the sort of character who would lie to himself and others about being same-sex inclined.

So, let’s skip to season 3 where Dean has made his demon deal and he has one year to live. He’s constantly putting on a facade of bravado and trying not to confront his actual feelings of terror about his impending doom. Sam tries to play along but he eventually cracks. Here’s an excerpt from “Fresh Blood” (3.07) where Sam finally calls Dean out on his denial/lying.

SAM: You know what, man? I’m sick and tired of your kamikaze trip
DEAN: Whoa, whoa, kamikaze? I’m more like a ninja.
SAM: That’s not funny.
DEAN: It’s a little funny.
SAM:No. It’s not.
DEAN: What do you want me to do, Sam, huh? Sit around all day writing sad poems about how I’m gonna die? You know what? I got one. Let’s see, what rhymes with “shut up, Sam”?
SAM: Dude, drop the attitude, Dean. Quit turning everything into a punch line. And you know something else? Stop trying to act like you’re not afraid
DEAN: I’m not!
SAM: You’re lying.
And you may as well drop it ‘cause I can see right through you.
DEAN: You got no idea what you’re talking about.
SAM: Yeah, I do. You’re scared, Dean. You’re scared because your year is running out, and you’re still going to Hell, and you’re freaked.
DEAN: And how do you know that?
SAM: Because I know you!
DEAN: Really?
SAM: Yeah, I’ve been following you around my entire life! I mean, I’ve been looking up to you since I was four, Dean. Studying you, trying to be just like my big brother. So yeah, I know you. Better than anyone else in the entire world. And this is exactly how you act when you’re terrified. And, I mean, I can’t blame you. It’s just… (pause)
DEAN: What?
SAM: I wish you would drop the show and be my brother again.

Sam asks him to “drop the show” and quit lying about how he really feels. This type of conversation has become a staple of Dean’s characterization in Supernatural. He pretends he’s handling some crisis or tragedy just fine, but inside he’s clearly panicked, or terrified, or profoundly depressed. 

In “Sam, Interrupted” (5.11) we have the brothers working a case in a mental hospital following the death of Ellen and Jo. Here are few short excerpts from that episode. 

SAM: Last few weeks you’ve been kinda worrying me.
DEAN: Oh, come on Sam, stop. Look, just because we’re in the loony-bin doesn’t give you the right to head-shrink me.
SAM: Dean…
DEAN: Ellen and Jo died. Yeah, it was a freaking tragedy. But I’m not going to wallow in it.
SAM: Dean you always do this. You can’t just keep this crap in.
DEAN: Watch me. 

Dean is fully aware and even admits to Sam that he’s emotionally constipated and that he keeps things in, rather than dealing with them. As the episode continues he has multiple conversations with a psychiatrist who actually turns out to be a figment of his own mind/monster-induced psychosis, one of which includes the following exchange.

DEAN: I am fine, okay. I’m fine.
THERAPIST: Come on, even you don’t believe that. All this pressure that you’re putting yourself under, all this guilt, it’s killing you. 

Again this is him admitting to himself that he’s lying about being “okay” that he’s not handling it. And the episode ends with Dean counciling Sam to bury his feelings in order to function.

SAM: I’m mad all the time. And I don’t know why.
DEAN: Stop…stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? Say yes to Lucifer? What?
SAM: No of course not -
DEAN: Exactly. And that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna take all that crap and bury it, you’re going to forget about it because that’s how we keep going.

Hiding from emotions, lying to yourself, bottling up your feelings. Dean’s actual, earnest advice to his brother on how to be functional. But yes, clearly we as audience members should take all of his articulations about his feelings at face-value because he would never lie about something like that. >_>

Let’s jump to season 7, just after Cas has temporarily “died” and Bobby is trying to have an honest conversation about Dean’s feelings/mental state in “Hello Cruel World” (7.02).

BOBBY: And you? How are you doing?
DEAN :Seriously Bobby, it ain’t like he’s hexed, you know? I mean, what if it’s the kind of crazy you can’t fix?
BOBBY: Yeah, I’m – I’m worried too, but humor me for a second. How are you?
DEAN: Who cares? Don’t you think our mailbox is a little full right now? I’m fine.
BOBBY: Right. And weren’t you pissed at him when he said the same thing just a couple hours before he spilled his marbles all over the floor?
DEAN: Yeah, well. [Pours himself a cup of coffee.] I’m not Sam, okay? I keep my marbles in a lead friggin’ box. I’m fine. Really.
BOBBY: Of course. Yeah. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother’s in the bell jar, and Purgatory’s most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but yeah, yeah, I get it. You’re – you’re fine.
DEAN: Good.
BOBBY: Course, if at any time you want to decide that’s utter horse crap, well I’ll be where I always am. Right here.
DEAN: What, you want to do couples’ yoga, or you want to get back to hunting the big bads?

Dean keeps repeating he is fine, and Bobby insists that’s “horse crap” because it clearly is. Dean makes a snarky joke because that’s what he always does when people try to talk to him about his own emotional vulnerability. Are we starting to see a pattern? How loudly and repeatedly does the show have to bang on the Dean-lies-and-lives-in-perpetual-denial-about-his-feelings drum before people finally get it?

Let’s jump to season 10. Season 10 has been something of a treasure trove of these moments. Even for Supernatural it’s been heavy on the Dean is emotionally constipated themes. This of course is highly related to him having the mark of Cain and his internal struggle to deal with it. 

10.09 (”The Things We Left Behind”) 
CAS: How are you Dean?
DEAN: Fine. I’m great.
CAS: No, you’re not.

10.11 (”There’s No Place Like Home”)

10.13 (”Halt and Catch Fire”)

10.17 (”Inside Man”)

Dean lies. Dean represses his feelings. Dean functions through denial. These are things the text reiterates over and over and over and over and over and over again. Dean is not a trustworthy narrator when it comes to his feelings. They have flat out told the audience this EXPLICITLY on NUMEROUS OCCASIONS. (Remember, these examples are only a small sample of the total number of times Supernatural has shown Dean to be a lying liar who lies)

I do not and cannot for the life of me understand why people think we should believe Dean when he says he “doesn’t swing that way” anymore than we believe him when he says he’s fine when he’s clearly NOT fine. I really am just utterly baffled by this line of reasoning. It is so facile, and so counter to even the most cursory reading of Supernatural as a text, given how hard they work to show Dean’s excessive propensity for lying, “repressed feelings” and denial. 

anonymous asked:

Could you do the RFA + the minor trio reacting an MC who puts them self down alot through jokes and is in general used to being ignored thank you!

I relate to this all too well. I didn’t expect this to get so long, I hope you enjoy..


  • Every time you would make a joke about yourself, he would get upset and tell you to not say those kind of things. Sometimes though, he would sort of laugh along with you and call you cute.
  • You would always convince him that every time you did that, you were joking. He would just frown and nod his head before pecking your cheek.
  • When you guys were out in public together, you…or he was often swarmed by fans, meaning you were forced away from him.
  • He apologizes for it and says that he’ll make sure he doesn’t lose you next time, and you just smile.
  • Whenever you guys were out with people they would always pay more attention to him that you.
  • You kept telling yourself that it was okay, you were used to being treated this way…
  • But it just began to build up inside you, then one night you found yourself crying in your guy’s shared bedroom.
  • Zen walks in and immediately stops what he’s doing and goes over to console you.
  • You told him how insignificant you felt and how much you didn’t like yourself. That you envied him and how people noticed him so much, and that you were just a nobody. It made his heart sink.
  • “Jagiya, hearing you say that makes my heart break. Someone like you doesn’t deserve to feel that way. You’re so beautiful and admirable to those around you, I wish you could see that yourself.”
  • “Let me help you. You already had my full attention, but now I’m going to hold onto you tighter than before. You’re my girl, you deserve to feel nothing but love and appreciation.”


  • Similar to Zen, when you made jokes about yourself like that, he would get upset.
  • But like, he would get really sad too and begin to doubt himself.
  • Do I make her feel that way? Is it me?
  • Sometimes you try to talk to him while he’s playing LOLOL, and he just mutters things in response, not really paying much attention.
  • But you’re used to this kind of treatment, it’s how it’s been almost your whole life.
  • He notices your feeling down one day, and asks you what’s wrong.
  • You explain to him how you wish you were different and that you weren’t happy with yourself. Also, how you felt as if people were always pushing you to the side…
  • “H-Hey! That’s not true! Please don’t say that…” He pouted and pulled you into an embrace.
  • “I love you just the way you are, I wouldn’t change you even if the world depended on it! I know I can get caught up in LOL sometimes, but I would give all of that up if it meant that you could be happy.”


  • She would have a puzzled look on her face and let out an awkward laugh whenever you said that you hated yourself or something.
  • “Well, I don’t hate you if that means anything…”
  • Baehee would always have something sweet in return to say to you.
  • She was always so attentive of you, so you wouldn’t really feel ignored by her except when she was so invested in her work, she just forgot about everything else.
  • It made you sigh, and when you tried to pull her away she would just wave you off and tell you to go eat or get some rest.
  • One morning, she caught you looking in the mirror at yourself and you just looked so dead…and unhappy.
  • “You know…you could do so much better than me Jaehee-“
  • She cupped your face and made you look at her before you could even finish.
  • “You’re already the best I ever had. Do you have any idea how much I admire you? Please stop saying such mean things about yourself when you’re so amazing. You’re gorgeous inside and out. You’ll get through this step by step, and I’ll be there with you, holding your hand.”


  • He wouldn’t get it.
  • Why would you say such rude things towards yourself?
  • He would always frown when you said something hateful about you, but you always added on a small “just kidding” at the end.
  • Now Jumin may not have the best humor, but he knows a joke when he hears one and you aren’t kidding.
  • Since he is a bigtime CEO, he obviously has to travel a lot.
  • You recognized this and told yourself that it’s fine, you’re used to being alone. Besides, you have Elizabeth, right? It’s not like Jumin will be gone all the time…
  • Well, he isn’t gone all the time, but he’s gone MOST of the time.
  • It just gets to the point where you cry because you feel so isolated.
  • You find someone like him and you still aren’t happy.
  • Sometimes you feel like a burden because while he’s away on a trip or at work, he only ever calls to check up on you.
  • One night he comes home and sees you sobbing quietly to yourself, Elizabeth purring in your lap to comfort you.
  • He drops his briefcase and settles down beside you.
  • “Do you really love me? Or do you just feel pity for me…”
  • “You’re gone all the time. I’m used to being mistreated like this, but it’s beginning to become too much…”
  • It takes Jumin a minute to process and put things together as he stares at you. You’re still looking down at your lap, but you could feel his gaze burning into you.
  • “Darling, you opened me up to a whole side to myself that I had been hiding from for so long. You showed me that–sorryElizabethiknowyou’rerighthere —that a cat isn’t going to cure my loneliness and make me happy with myself. You did that. You made me the happiest I’ve ever been in a long time. Now I believe it’s my turn to help you find a new side of you, because, I can’t believe you don’t recognize this, but you are one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever encountered in my life.”


  • Oh boy.
  • You guys would crack jokes full of self-hatred with each other 24/7.
  • Both of you knew deep down inside that the other one meant it, but you couldn’t really bring yourselves to say anything…
  • It would get seriously bad when Seven was going through that “I’m dangerous. Stay away.” And “Don’t bother me, I’m working.” “Leave me alone, I’m busy.” “Didn’t I tell you to be quiet so I can focus?” Bullshit.
  • Seriously, he was so blunt about it to the point where you just felt like absolute shit.
  • After he told you to “Leave him the fuck alone.” For probably the fourth time that day, you just broke down right in front of him.
  • You were seriously trying so hard for the both of you guys, well, for him at least.
  • You wanted him to stop feeling like he was this dangerous monster you needed to avoid. You were in love with him.
  • Seeing you cry, made him feel like a total asshole.
  • “Shit…MC, I’m sorry…”
  • “It’s fine, Saeyoung. I get why you want to push me away. I…I would too.”
  • “No, MC, hush. I know I can be so cold sometimes, I’m sorry. I can’t help it. But I honestly feel so alive and genuinely happy when I’m with you, I don’t have to fake it.”
  • “If you think you’re a bother to me, believe me you’re not. It feels nice to have someone around that gives an actual shit about me, and encourages me to better myself without using a taser. I love you MC, you make me want to love myself. You should too. Let’s get better together.”

Minor Trio below the cut!!

Keep reading

The Dating "Application"

1. Name
2. Age
3. Zodiac sign
4. Relationship status
5. Background
6. Are you family oriented? Describe your family.
7. Do you like children?
8. Do you want to get married one day?
9. What do you think of cheating in a relationship?
10. Do you think you could be committed to one person for the rest of your life?
11. Are you religious? What are your religious beliefs?
12. Do you like to cuddle? Are you a big or little spoon?
13. Do you like to party?
14. Are you a Netflix binger?
15. Would you rather go out and party or stay in and watch Netflix?
16. Do you smoke/drink/do drugs?
17. What are your life goals/dreams?
18. Are you a picky eater? Tell me about your food preferences.
19. Can you cook? Do you like to cook? Would you cook with me?
20. Are you romantic/do you like being romanced?
21. What turns you on? What turns you off?
22. Do you prefer to make love, to fuck or an equal mixture of both?
23. Do you have any pet peeves?
24. Fears/phobias?
25. Do you like to travel?
26. Where would you pick to go on your honeymoon?
27. What is your favorite movie? Tv show?
28. What do you usually do for the holidays?
29. Do you still talk to any of your exes?
30. Are you reliable?
31. What’s the quickest way to your heart?
32. Have you ever done anything illegal?
33. Do you have any hobbies?
34. Are you currently crushing on anyone/is there someone I’d have to compete with for your heart?
35. Tell me something interesting about yourself. A secret?
36. Do you get mad easily?
37. Do you have any best friends? Tell me about them.
38. Do you like animals? Do you have any pets? If no, would you want any?
39. Are you down to do random things/have spontaneous adventures?
40. Are you the jealous type?
41. Have you ever done anything crazy in a relationship?
42. Describe your sense of humor.
43. Do you have any talents?
44. What’s your favorite game?
45. What are you looking for in a significant other?
46. What would you do today if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?
47. What would you do with one million dollars?
48. What would you do/change if you became ruler of the world?
49. Are you a touchy feely person?
50. Is there anything you haven’t said that you want me to know?

anonymous asked:

CASTLEVANIA?! OMGNESS YEEEEEES, I have bEEN LOOKING FOR MORE PEEPS INTO CASTELVANIA (I heard there's gonna be a new season on Netflix and I'M SO HAPPY) ok ok lol I do have an ask, there are werewolves in the game, so like what if the reader is a werewolf but only wants to help? Bonus points if after the team trusts reader for a while, Alucard or Trevor (or both? idk ur choice) end up liking or falling for reader with reader being oblivious, and Sypha being like a protective sibling? :D

I love Castlevania. I’ve loved it for years. <3 I didn’t have a lot of people to talk to about the games growing up, so I’m more than excited that I can accommodate to the sudden surge of new fans thanks to the show. I was actually considering opening up imagines when I originally made this blog, before I even heard of the show coming out (mostly because Castlevania is stuffed to the brim with Attractive Men and Women)! XD


  • So, you’re a half-wolf; in that your “father”, a demonic werewolf, impregnated your mother (whether this is consensual or not is up to you). Your conception and following birth was pretty normal at first, and you lived a normal life
  • Until you were about thirteen. On your thirteenth birthday, humorously enough on the night of a full moon, you transformed for the very first time. And everyone saw it.
  • Your mother was murdered and you fled your hometown, living out in the woods and surviving off the land as best you could ever since.
  • While things were going pretty well at first, by the time Dracula’s hordes were roaming the land, you were still a viable enemy to be maimed if they ever saw you
  • You took it upon yourself to defend yourself properly, but as much as you wanted to help some of the humans that lived around the woods you lived in, they would never allow you to help. As soon as you cleared out any demons they would sooner burn you at the stake.
  • Cut to the present, and you’re grievously injured from fending off the demons that came to your woods. You defended the village on the other side partially because the people that passed through were your source of food (the wares they carried, not the people themselves- you never liked to attack humans), and partially out of kindness because it was a place your mother liked to go to. You can’t stand, because your hind leg is wounded (gnawed- a nasty sight). You’re effectively screwed unless someone comes to rescue you, but then again you’re even more screwed if anyone sees a fucking werewolf lying on the ground helpless.
  • Talk about a dilemma :/
  • Cue the merry vampire slaying crew led by Trevor Belmont.
  • Immediately all three of them have their weapons drawn and you bark repeatedly and bend your ears back frightfully, preparing yourself to fight for your very life- and inwardly terrified you’ll lose.
  • Until Sypha sees that look in your eyes, and by some kind of miracle, understands you.
  • She stands in front of you, arms spread wide, “Wait! I don’t think this one means to harm us!”
  • Trevor looks at her like ????? but Alucard takes another glance at you, then sheathes his weapon “…This one did not come from my father’s army.”
  • You nod rapidly and so begins your time hanging out with the merry Belmont crew!
  • Sypha’s the one that treats your wound, with Alucard politely helping her cast a healing spell to stop the bleeding. To show your appreciation, you lick her hand, and she smiles “It was your eyes that told me, that you were not out to harm anyone.” You’re inwardly thanking her so many times.
  • The moment you transform back into human form? You’re completely buck naked. You always found spare clothes at night to keep on hand for when you transformed back. And this time, on account of being hurt, you don’t. :/
  • Trevor ends up staring for a little longer than expected at your body but looks away again and clears his throat awkwardly
  • Sypha throws a spare cape around you, berating Trevor for looking at you rudely and finally you guys get to talking
  • After it’s known that you want to help them take on Dracula, Trevor most reluctantly accepts you to come along. Alucard is mostly intrigued by you given that you’re a half-wolf and seem reluctant to talk about your father, and then of course Sypha is actually weirdly supportive of you.
  • Over time it’s clear you develop the strongest rapport with Sypha. She always wants to look out for you, and tbh babies you a little. <3 You’re a little clueless, and a little bookdumb (in a good way), and she enjoys teaching you things especially since you listen. Oh my god, you listen unlike Trevor.
  • Not to mention too you’re always so affectionate and sweet- as well as emotionally open. Even in werewolf form Sypha doesn’t feel frightened of you (unlike Alucard) and over time comes to see you as Ideal Doggo tbh
  • You prove to be a capable fighter, and are an adept tracker what with literally smelling the trail of demonic essence from miles away, and even have better hearing than the rest of the crew, meaning that you’re able to warn towns much quicker that Dracula’s forces are impending!
  • Like Trevor just thinks you’re the fucking cutest baby angel he’s ever met and it drives him mad because even though yes you are physically attractive (literally every dawn he gets to see your butt with this big fluffy tail what a great thing to behold) you’re also loyal and unbearably sweet. Like unbearably sweet. You’re always excited to greet him and hug everyone in sight like why or how are you literally as cheerful as an actual dog. You’re kind of clueless and a bit of a dork, always asking questions like “But Sypha, why would you want to pee in a bucket?” and aijgwioejgiowjegowihouhr your smile, he wants to die every time he sees it
  • With Alucard he feels a connection considering you’re both demonic half-breeds, and the situation with both of your fathers (ah yes, turns out your father is aligned with Dracula’s forces) weighing both of you down considerably. He’s always liked that you’re full of energy, and were so unquestionably/unconditionally kind to every single person you meet. You didn’t even flinch when it came out that he was a dhampir, simply blinking, smiling, then announcing, “Oh, you’re kind of like me then! :D” You are sunshine to him, and he’s afraid of ever admitting something so weird to you.
  • Meanwhile, you’re oblivious, and Sypha is painfully aware that both of the men she’s traveling with have awkward crushes on you
  • And she’s kind of wondering if she should bother telling you, but then again it’s pretty funny to watch the boys squirm to look away when it’s morning and you’re going to be a hot naked person for a few hours. XD

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The Other Prince + A CS Modern Royal AU [Chapter 3]

Modern Royalty AU: HRH Prince Killian has grown up in the shadow of the crown while enduring tragedy and the burdens of being the spare to the heir. With a desire to escape his past, he agrees to play host to the visiting general’s daughter in exchange for an eventual life outside royal bounds. Moving on is never that easy though and he quickly learns that being the ‘other’ prince is even more difficult when you find yourself falling for the girl everyone wants your brother to marry.

Catch Up On Previous Chapters: One, Two
Also on and AO3.

Word Count: 5,064

Alright, here’s the next Killian chapter! Lots of backstory and setting the stage for what’s coming - I know a lot of you are anxious for Killian and Emma to meet and I promise, it’s coming! Stick with me :]

The route to the palace was a familiar one and Killian wagered little had changed since the first time a driver escorted him from Kensington to the heart of Westminster. The streets of metropolitan London were busily lined with citizens taking full advantage of the near noon bustle, scurrying along to various shops and pausing for late breakfasts at any one of the various cafes found in the downtown district. Their lives seemed casual and enviously simple, a fact that Killian tried not to harbor on as he stared out the window of the unmarked black car Liam had sent for him. It was highly likely that his dutiful brother was already well immersed in whatever task list a future king gets handed when he shows up at Her Majesty’s headquarters very bright and far too early.

Such a stubborn arse, Killian thought as he ran a hand over his unamused eyes. It was probably for the best that the Queen was part way around the globe for now. The absence of their lovable yet all too proper Gran and the steaming cup of coffee Marco had brought along were the only two things lending him luck at the moment.

“Around to the back gate, your highness?”

“Aye,” Killian nodded, glancing up toward the rear view mirror with an arched brow. “But are we ever going to agree on you calling me 'Killian’? I’d thought we were well beyond formalities by now, mate.”

He caught the humored smile of the man in the driver’s seat via the reflective overhead glass, accompanied with familiar eyes set in typical analysis and a beard almost all white as a reminder of just how long the loyal confidante had been chauffeuring the royal family around. Marco was a former carpenter and had come from Italy right around the time of the last elaborate royal wedding, beginning his work initially in one of the palace’s many gardens on instructed maintenance and upkeep. It hadn’t taken long for the flower loving and recently wed princess to prod him into an unlikely friendship, one that was built around what blossomed on royal grounds but eventually extended into a bond akin to family.

Killian had heard many tales of those simpler times from Marco on their countless drives together, his favorite including a time when building a royal crib suddenly became a request for the man who was more accustomed to being asked to pull weeds. He had told Killian so much about his mother over the years - how she lovingly bossed him around when it was time to select what to plant for spring, how she’d all but demanded that he attend every holiday banquet as an esteemed guest of their family, and how he’d helped her learn bits of conversational Italian while escorting her between the regal grounds and whatever location she was destined for. It was this kindly man who’d migrated to London only a few decades earlier who had been instrumental in their lives for a number of critical years, certainly long enough to see the high points and the extremely low ones. He’d claimed teasingly several times that there were very few rides more unpleasant than the time he drove the royal couple and their second newborn baby boy - one with 'strong lungs and even stronger opinions on London traffic’ - home from St. Mary’s on a very snowy January morning.

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anonymous asked:

Hello there :) Do you have any good recommendations for gen fics featuring Zuko's friendship with the GAang?

GAang Friendship Fic Recs (Say That Five Times Fast!)

A Matter of Trust  After their escape from the Boiling Rock, Hakoda must decide if he can trust Zuko.  

A Friend  Zuko doesn’t feel like he belongs in the group, but somebody tries to convince him that he’ll be just fine.  

A Misunderstanding of Sides  When the Gaang takes a trip to the Earth Kingdom after EIP, Zuko gets captured by Earth Kingdom soldiers while away from the others. 

The Team Dad  “He’s the one we need to remind us what exactly we’re supposed to be doing, and that we just need to work harder to do it. He’s the one who can make me feel confident just by telling me I’m a talented kid. And he’s my worst enemy’s son.” Friendship fic.  

Problems and Solutions  How does Zuko handle too many assassination attempts? An expansion of two drabbles by Kimberly T. Posted with her permission.  

Not Quite Casual Conversation  It took Toph a while to decide on a nickname for Zuko - nothing quite seemed to fit. A continued conversation from Ember Island Players. 

Male Bonding  Katara understands why Zuko had to join them. What she doesn’t understand is why he and Sokka had to spend every waking moment in each other’s company.

Shopping Spree  Desperately needing supplies, the Gaang heads to a nearby tourist trap. Katara might learn to appreciate the addition of Zuko to the team a little more… that is, if the others don’t drive her completely insane first.  

Can We Keep Him?  Three snowgulls, two tiger seals, one penguin and a Fire Nation Prince. The trials of Sokka.  

Fathers in Arms  Sokka gives an uncertain Zuko some ‘fatherly’ advice.  

What’s in a Nickname?  Zuko sulks and Toph straightens him out with a dose of Earth Kingdom sensibility.

In Which Zuko Realizes How Young Aang Is  Basically what it says in the title. Takes place whenever it makes sense. Pre-Southern Raiders.  

Over My Dignity  Sokka and Zuko find that their odd friendship has unanticipated consequences, and both make choices that will effect one another and the new world order. 

Scarring and Brotherhood  A random little oneshot I wrote as a Christmas present for my big brother. Set slightly AU after the episode The Western Air Temple. Zuko goes to apologize to Toph for burning her feet and some unexpended bonding happens. Sibling!Toko.  

You’re Kuzon?  As an attempt to restore peace to a war-torn world, Zuko requests Aang to do something for him. But could this short detour lead him to a little blast to a few months ago, especially when coming back to a certain school? Post-war.  

Brothers in Arms  In a palace in Ba Sing Se, one man awaits his death, one boy – his torture, and another – his destiny. An Iroh, Sokka and Zuko adventure. Now with epilogue. Complete.  

The Beifong Estate  Because everything seemed a little better with Fire Lord Sparky there. Toko Friendsip. 

Meditating Angry  Aang drops in on his Firebending teacher.

In His Shoes  In order to fully understand a man, you must first walk a mile in his shoes. Sokka and Zuko are going to find that out the hard way. 

Baby Turtle Ducks  “Zuko!” Aang cheered, “Come look at the baby turtle ducks!”

Babysitting the Benders and Bumi  Stories about what happens when each member of the gaang has to babysit the kids: Kya, Bumi, Tenzin, Lin, and Zuko’s daughter, Ursa, aka Honora.

The Art of Intervention  Post-series. Zuko has been working himself to the bone, and really isn’t listening to anyone. Whatever. It’s not like Toph was going to ask permission anyway. Toph & Zuko friendship fic.

Bromance  crack!fic. SPOILERS FOR THE BOILING ROCK! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! Zuko: Sokka and Hakoda approved! Poor Katara. zutara, sukka, hinted sokzu  

Ozai’s Pants  Humorous one-shot. What would happen if Aang ever told Zuko that he had a dream about Zuko’s father wearing no pants? Takes place immediately after “The Boiling Rock.“ 

Boys’ Night   Zuko gets dumped. Sokka is the world’s best wingman. There is chloroform.

Year One  The things a young Fire Lord learns at the beginning of his reign.  

Relative Misery  Zuko and Toph commiserate a little. Zuko wins. 

Familial Conversations  Toph and Zuko share a conversation on the wonders of family, Iroh, and good tea. Toko!sibling fic. For smilypie.  

First Name Basis  There are lots of issues with Zuko joining the Avatar’s "Gaang.” Some are concerned with life and death, good and evil, trust and betrayal. Some, though, are just plain awkward. Set after “The Western Air Temple.” No pairings.

Long Live the Prince  One-shot. Set just after “The Boiling Rock.” Aang and the others learn the story of how Zuko got his scar from the newcomer Chit Sang, who thought the prince had been killed three years ago.  

Finally, for those people who hate happiness itself:

When All Your Dreams Come True  AU during the First Season. Zuko has finally captured Aang and returned to the Fire Nation. He couldn’t be happier. Really, he couldn’t. Warning: Very dark. Rated M for violent themes.

 And have some bonus friendship:

Forgotten Ones: Letter to Song  After the end of the war, a young Earth Kingdom herbalist named Song receives a strange letter. Who could she possibly know in the Fire Nation? 

Forgotten Ones: Lieutenant Jee  After the siege of the North Pole, Lieutenant Jee was branded a traitor and thrown in prison. The war is over now, so what could the Firelord have in mind for him?


In which Dan wants you to paint his nails and then gets super happy and embarrassed when you do.

About a week before they were supposed to leave for Australia, Dan came to me. I knew 2017 was his year of loving and accepting himself more, so I wasn’t surprised when one night while were in bed he asked me to paint his nails. I was more supportive than anyone else, probably. “Of course, baby,” I said while smoothing my thumb over his dimple, “but we’re going to have to make a run to the store because I don’t think I have any polish here at the flat.”

The next day I dragged him up out of bed and down the street to the nearest drug store. I went to the beauty aisle and perused the countless shades and brands along the wall. Dan had slipped away and was hiding at the end of the aisle. “No one’s going to judge you picking out nail polish with your girlfriend, bear. Come over here and tell me what you want.” He came up to me and we spent the next fifteen minutes going through colors. Eventually he settled on a standard black, a sky blue and a sheer pink. When I sent him to get in line, I secretly grabbed a glitter polish as well. As a treat for being so patient with him earlier, Dan insisted we stop at a cafe and he buy me breakfast.

The rest of the day went on as normal, Phil had been awake by the time we got back and we all did our own thing. Dan and Phil went to stockpile some more videos before they left next week, and I decided to use the blue polish I’d purchased earlier on my toes. I was admiring the color against my skin when I heard the guys come bounding downstairs. I squealed and lifted my legs before they could jostle me and mess up the wet polish. Phil headed for the kitchen, saying he’d get started on dinner, while Dan plopped down next to me on the sofa. “It smells like a damn nail salon in here,” he teased. I nudged at him with one of my feet and he smacked it down. “Get used to it, you’re next.” Some of that shyness from the store came back on his face. I squeezed his cheeks between my palms. “I understand if you don’t wanna do this, we can wait or we can never speak of it again.” He shook his head as much as he could and I kissed his lips gently. “Great, then let’s get started!”

We both decided that the black and the blue were too noticeable for his first manicure, but he promised me that he’d wear it when he was more comfortable. So it would be the pale pink. We were in the dining room table and he sat himself across from me. I placed down a nail file, the pink polish and some top coat as well as a couple sheets of paper towel. The glitter polish was secretly between my legs, hidden from view. “Now, when I put all of this on, you need to be careful with your hands. The polish takes some time to dry completely so no typing or whatever else you’d do with your hands. I don’t wanna spend all night fixing smears.” Dan swallowed and nodded slowly. I gave him a gentle smile and reached out for his hands. He placed them into mine and I ignored how cold and sweaty they were.

I filed down a couple of his nails first. I knew he bit them so they were pretty short to begin with, but I still made them the same length. Next, I uncapped the bottle of pink and carefully painted his nails, smoothing off the excess. The polish was sheerer than I thought, and I did another coat asking him if that was visible enough or if he wanted it darker. He told me it was enough. I examined his nails, the color was barely noticeable against his skin. If he didn’t say he had any polish on you’d never know it. I figured it was time for the surprise. “So I was thinking, that pink is so cute, but it needs…something.” Dan raised his eyebrow. “What do you mean something? Did you get like stickers or jewels because I don’t think I’m ready for-”

“You think I know how to put that shit on? No, I just got this.”

I placed the glitter polish on the table next to the top coat. “It’s subtle, but when you go in the sun you could probably see the sparkle.” His face was unreadable. “I-It’s fine if you don’t want it bear, baby steps and all…I just thought you’d like it.” Now I felt bad, this was probably already weird enough as is being his first time wearing polish, I shouldn’t be pushing him. I went to put the glitter to the side. “No, you can put it on. I think it’d look kinda cute. Just maybe not a bunch okay?” I smiled big and uncapped the bottle. Of course not, just a little for flair and then you’ll be done, Mr. Howell.” He put his hands back where I could reach them.

When I was done and the top coat had been applied, I capped the bottles and went to turn on the kitchen light. “Woah! The glitter looks cool,” Dan said. I giggled, he looked like a little kid as he examined his fingers. He tilted them all around and watched the light bounce off the glitter. I smiled, happy that he was happy with it.

Later that evening we were all enjoying dinner and some show in Netflix I half paid attention to. Much to my displeasure, I ended up having to fix his nails a couple times before sitting him down and telling him not to move until we ate. He pouted, but listened to my orders. Now that I was certain everything had dried, he was back to playing on his laptop, but every few minutes I noticed him looking over his fingers, placing them in the light and looking at the glitter. Phil had noticed them earlier, and told Dan they looked nice, even joked that he would consider polishing a couple of his own. That made me smile, Phil was literally the most supportive friend in the world.

That night, while we were laying down in bed together, Dan kissed me until I didn’t know my own name. “W-What was that for?” I gasped. Dan ran his fingers through my hair and wrapped his other arm around me. “For being the best girlfriend ever.” The intensity in his eyes made my face hot. “All I did was paint your nails, bear. That’s not exactly a huge thing.” I laughed uncomfortably and wanted to cover my face. Dan was serious, though, not a trace of humor on his face. “Because most girls and guys I’ve dated would’ve never done something like this for me, even though painting my nails isn’t even that big a deal. You’re breaking gender roles pumpkin.” He was rambling, and he started sounding ridiculous. I wanted him to stop talking, so I brushed our lips together to silence him and and just laid my head against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and we went to sleep.

A/N: A little drabble because I really love that picture of Dan with his nails painted! ^o^~ He’s v soft and v adorable (Also I know I made Dan bi in this and that’s not rlly canon but I mean c’moooon)

anonymous asked:

How about the UT/UF/US/SF skelebros getting the 'you mess with them and I'll kill you' speech from S/O's family and/or friends? :)

UT!Sans: Geez, kid. Your family really knows how to welcome a guy. It threw him off his edge for a few seconds, but he’s quick to return to his easy going attitude. He’ll promise that he’s never going to hurt you. And then do his best to seem like boyfriend material. The next few hours will be filled with jokes and a few puns. He’s quick to figure out everyone’s humor and what will appeal to them. It tires him out but he wants your family/friends to like him.

UT!Papyrus: Why?? Would?? He?? Hurt?? You?? Did he do something wrong that would cause them to believe that he’d do such a thing? He can’t find anything that would make them think that. So he loudly declares that he wouldn’t ever hurt you. He is far too great for violence, and you are far too amazing for anyone to ever hurt. And although his personality might be a tad narcissistic (in a charming and respectful way) your family and friends quickly catches on to the fact that this guy is just amazing. An hour with Papyrus and they’re ready to believe that he wouldn’t ever hurt you.

US!Sans: His reaction is close to Tale Papyrus’, albeit a bit more hurt. Why would he mess with you? Does he come off as a bad person? He does his best to seem like the perfect boyfriend when he spends time with them. Almost coming off as clingy and annoying, and also a little fake. Talking to him about it helps. But I don’t know how anyone could even think that this sweet blueberry would hurt you.

US!Papyrus: Well that’s a little hostile to say to someone the first time you meet them, isn’t it now? He keeps his mask on though, and calmly tells them that he wasn’t planning on hurting you. His social skills are pretty good, and he’ll be making funny one liners and puns through the evening. Keeping you close to show your friends and family that he cares about you. The hostile energi they’re sending out is making his anxiety flare up 10x. But he can deal with it.

UF!Sans: Okay first off, rude. He might be a monster. And he might be pretty scary looking. And GOD KNOWS he ain’t boyfriend material. And he’s also pretty mean and kind of an asshole when you first meet him and… Okay to be honest he wasn’t sure where he was going with that train of thought. He gets their concern, though. And he’s so awkward and stiff when he’s around him because he’s trying okay! He’ll tell them that he isn’t going to hurt you, physically or emotionally. But he’ll still notice how some of them are a little doubtful towards him. He’d be too.

UF!Papyrus: He really really wants them to like him. He knows, of course, that their approval isn’t necessary for him to date you. But he feels like he needs it to go on with this. He’s uncharacteristically polite and assures them that he’d do no such thing. When you both get home he sort of deflates into the couch. He is so tired from thinking about every little action and trying to fit into the human view of a perfect boyfriend.

SF!Sans: Is sort of offended. And that doesn’t mix well. Somehow his brain translates what they said into ‘’We’re not sure that you’re good enough for our friend/family member, and also you probably couldn’t even protect them’’ So he goes all out trying to show how powerful he is. And how magnificent and great he can be. It does more harm than it does good. And you’ll be leaving the gathering sooner than expected because he broke a vase and then offended whoever blamed him for it. Not a great first expression.

SF!Papyrus: He’d be offended if it weren’t for the fact that he looks like someone who could break both your body and soul. After calmly and quietly assuring them that he’s not going to ever harm you, he focuses on acting as non threatening as he can. Keeps an arm around you at all times. One part of it is to show that he’s your boyfriend and you chose him, the other reason is that he needs the physical comfort. His anxiety is through the freaking roof. When you get home he’s so tired that he pulls you onto the bed and falls asleep while holding onto you for dear life.

Behind The Camera | one

Originally posted by nnochu

People never really know what happens behind the scenes.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: profanity and slight mentions of sex and drinking

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: angst, college! au, YouTuber! au

A/N: i am actually really satisfied with this and i think it turned out better than expected. i hope you like it!

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