your hero and saviour

“You’re dying.”

“Does it insult your saviour instincts, hero, to see someone die in front of you? That does tend to happen when you throw them down a flight of stairs.”

Not in the movies.

They stared at the antagonist, numbly. Stumbling forward to try and fix it. Hands shaking. No one was supposed to get actually hurt - no one was supposed to die!

Coming back

Originally posted by whoviandreams

Parring: Nine x Reader

Words: 683

Warnings: none

A/N: I’m sorry for any mistakes, my native language is not English.


Every girls dreams to find the man of their life. The one who’ll make you laugh all the time and who’ll make you see stars. You found yours. And he made you happy each day of your life and he showed you stars. Literally.

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anonymous asked:

Can we talk HP queer politics then? Cos you sound like you actually get it. Like, I'm so tired of going into the Drarry tag and seeing "Draco is a bottom, get over it" sort of stuff. Like they're defining H and D by their roles in the bedroom (and half the time they make Draco into this super effeminate, tiny, needy thing, and Harry into a super macho, muscular giant). I like that they're equals, and even if one does prefer to bottom, their don't have to change who they are to suit stereotypes

Unleash the beast, why don’t you? We can DEF talk about queer politics! I mean, I think we’re basically in agreement, but we can definitely talk queer politics.

So, first off, I don’t have a problem with people having preferences. Not in fic and not in bed. If people only want to top or bottom, or only want to read about topping and bottoming, I have absolutely no quarrel with that.

However, I think things get trickier when we talk about the overlap between sexual preferences and gender presentation and personality, and treat the relationship between those things as something static and absolute. 

(tl;dr: maculinity != a desire to penetrate; femininity != a desire to be penetrated. Also a desire to penetrate !=masculinity; a desire to be penetrated !=femininity.)

One of the challenges of being queer is finding other queer people. The historically most straightforward way to do that is to find ways to be recognizable to other queer people, and to recognize the queer people around you. So there are tons of ways, over the course of queer history, that queer people have found to be recognizable to each other.  Being butch or femme, giving violets, wearing handkerchiefs, having your right ear pierced, and many others. And if you’re not recognizable, you can have some trouble finding your people.

A lot of the ways of being that help you find your people involve slotting in to specific gendered modes of expression. And that’s where things get even messier because we’re really fucking terrible at separating gender identity and personality.

But they’re separate! Like, there’s a stack of cargo shorts and polos and studded belts and handkerchiefs and shit from the first year I started actively dating women. It worked for letting people know that I was interested in dating women, but it also involved hearing a lot of weird assumptions and getting asked to join a lot of softball teams. Really, I’m more comfortable in pencil skirts and heels than all those cargo shorts. I also have a gf who gives patriarchal beauty standards at least a halfie on the regular. But when I’ve met friends of hers - straight and not - they, based on what they know of her, are sometimes legit surprised that I’m not butch. Because if she looks like a girl, I must be butch, right? Heteronormativity makes it difficult, if not impossible, for people to understand that kind of variation. Sometimes even legally. It confuses people when we won’t play by those rules or use those terms. And I know I’m not the only person for whom that’s true, or the only person who has played up a type of gender identity for the purposes of communicating with (or confounding) a particular audience.

So anyway, for years and years and years - centuries - queer people have had to find ways to make themselves recognizable. That has often been done (as makes sense, coming from a world steeped in heteronormative social scripts, and where mutual legibility is a priority) by marking gender in some way. Those gendered presentations get taken to represent someone’s masculinity (including (because people are stupidly lumping these things together) their stoicism, strength, bravery, and desire to penetrate) or femininity (including their emotional transparency, weakness, fearfulness, and desire to be penetrated).

And I swear all of this has to do with fanfiction. 

First, though, I’d like to tell you about a word. It’s a pretentious, douchebaggy word, but it’s useful here. That word is reification. To reify something is to take an abstract idea and make it real. So, for instance, if you believe that girls wear pink and are innately gentle, and you buy your daughter all pink clothes and scold her every time she’s ungentle, thereby making her, a real person, into your abstract idea of what “girl” means, that’s an act of reification. K?

So, fanfiction!! (In fairness, I did say the thing about unleashing the beast.)

My beef, again, is not with people who prefer to read topping or bottoming. Whatevs. I have a completely mysterious predilection for rentboy fic and once wrote 17k of parselsmut, so, like, hi, not here to judge.

I do have some beef, though, with the idea that Draco is an effeminate bottom and that Harry is a heroic top. Or, more precisely, with the idea that Draco is a bottom because he’s perceived as effeminate in a certain type of fanon depiction and with the idea that Harry must be the top because he is the hero.

Several reasons.

1. Gender presentation != Sexual behavior. These things are not intrinsically connected. We associate them with each other, we even do (”do”) them, because there’s so much history to certain representations that we think they make sense. (See above, re: needing to be recognizable) But they don’t make actual sense outside of the socially constructed myths we have about them. Your skirt is not a direct line to your clit. Your manly chinos say nothing about your cock. Your clothes don’t even say anything about what your genitalia is or looks like or how you do or don’t like it to be touched. You cannot look at someone’s outfit or listen to their voice or look at their walk and know if they like dirty talk or a good spanking or facials or sex clubs or vibrators, right? So why would you think that you can look at someone’s outfit or listen to their voice or look at their walk and know if they prefer to penetrate, be penetrated, or both?

2. Draco’s Characterisation. This gets headcanony and I recognise that these things are not universal, but if we’re talking about bottom!Draco, let’s talk about bottom!Draco. There’s a certain fanon depiction of Draco, that I *think* dates at least to, and maybe largely from, Maya and Underwater Light (though I wouldn’t swear to the history) that paints Draco as frenetic and silly and effeminate and *fabulous* in a stereotypical sort of way. But Draco, as a character in canon, is probably under more pressure than any other character to perform masculine masculinity. He is explicitly required to be violent, stoic, and domineering. He has been trained to that from birth. Sometimes effeminatefanonDraco is rebelling against that, which I can sometimes buy if it’s a few years out. But, you know, it’s pretty hard to overcome a lifetime’s worth of conditioning, and I can’t imagine that Draco wouldn’t have a pretty hard time coming to terms with anything that he saw as really undermining that masculinity. And here the fiction/reality lines get tricky precisely because there’s nothing about being penetrated that’s inherently non-masculine - in another world we might say that being penetrated takes more strength in any number of respects, and we can’t know how wizards feel about this one - but in the world fic authors are writing from, getting penetrated is more frequently associated with femininity. So even if you are going to do this thing that I think we should all not do or at least be very very careful about doing, and conflate gender presentation with a preference for certain sexual behaviors, making Draco “the bottom” doesn’t actually make a whole lot of sense to me.

3. Harry’s characterisation. How pissed off do you think Harry James Potter would be about all this? Harry, who grew up with the Dursleys probably sniffing and turning up their noses at those people. Harry, who is saddled with being heroic even though it’s not something that he really wants. Harry, who is not ever given as much emotional space as he seems to really need, who never gets to have much of an affective outlet for his grief or his fear or his joy. Harry, who hates it when people treat him with deference because he’s a hero. How much do you think Harry James Potter would hate his unwanted heroism invading his most personal, intimate interactions? How do you think Harry would feel about being told that because he’s your hero, because he’s the fucking saviour, he better not like taking it up the arse, better not explore his prostate, better not like getting fucked, because that doesn’t jibe with his fans’ idea about the kind of man a hero can be? Cause I’m betting it would get a little face-punchy.

4. Reification. The sexual scripts we see around us inform our ideas about sexuality and identity. These representations of bottom!Draco as super effeminate either suggest that effeminate people are bottoms, or that bottoms must be effeminate. And that idea doesn’t stay on the page. If you buy into it - especially if you really buy into it and don’t realize that it’s a tropey fic thing (which you may be most likely to do when your sexuality is in its most formative moments) - you run serious risk of coming to believe that this construction of relationships is natural and real and The Way Things Are. Or you come to believe that if you want to be penetrated you need to be effeminate in order to be recognizable. Or you become the reason that people who want to be penetrated feel they have to adopt more feminine modes of presentation. Or you become the asshole who asks gf and I who the man is. The stories we tell each other matter. By passing these assumptions around, by treating them like they are TRUE FACT and OBVIOUSLY Draco must be a bottom because he’s effeminate (which, see #2), you’re supporting the idea that gender presentation and sexuality are the same, and you’re propping up a system wherein people have to reify your ideas in order to be recognizable. 

So, in conclusion: yeah it really bums me out too. And I think Harry would hate it, and I think Draco as we leave him in canon would not recognize himself in it. And, more important than the feelings of fictional characters, I think it does something kind of dangerous for all the actual queer people who are navigating the world, in that (a) they/we see these depictions and feel like they/we have to fit in to them in order to be recognizable to each other and to have any hope of finding the kind of sexual partner they/we want (especially because, especially for people who are just realizing they’re queer, there probably aren’t a ton of RL queer people and relationships to take as models, so whatever stories are available can be sort of extra formative) and (b) it reassures straight people that their incorrect assumptions are correct and that heteronormativity really is natural and right because even in non-straight relationships there’s a man and a woman, and makes them into the kind of straight people who demand a certain type of performance from the queer people in their lives and who get distressed and unpleasant (to say the least) when they don’t get that performance. And heteronormaitvity wins again.

And in all of that, the adherence to effeminate bottom/manly top relationships in our fictional lives is kind of a loss for all of us, if it keeps us from seeing new possibilities. If we stay stuck on the idea that feminine people like to get fucked and masculine people like to do the fucking, we lose out on a whole host of other possibilities - like that we could base our sexual behavior on what feels good instead of on what we feel like we should be.

A call for help,a helping hand.

I might not know everything. And truly nobody does. And we’re just still all learning. In this thing called life.

But if you need me. I’m here. And I ain’t your saviour. I ain’t your hero.

I’m just an ordinary girl. Trying her best to help others in these times. Because if I don’t.


Who will?

Happy international MCR day everybody and remember, shoot those bullets, for sweet revenge, carry on and killjoys, make some noise!

Never let them take you alive!