your health matters

21 things black men don’t hear often enough

1. I love you bro. We don’t tell each other as men how much we mean to each other. There is no weakness in that. Only strength, solidarity, and power.

2. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to commit to getting better.

3. Someone is depending on you, to be exactly who you are.

4. Read more. You have time to read 12 books a year (which is more than the average American). We also aren’t average.

5. Showing and sharing your emotions isn’t a sign of weakness. Paying attention to how we feel helps us become more in tune with what’s actually going on.

6. Your mental health matters. You can’t “work yourself” out of your mind. Emotional trauma is very real and worthy of our time. We’ve been through a lot recently.

7. Living is an act of resistance. You are going to live, get out all these dreams, and thrive – despite the odds.

8. You are a descendent of kings. Seriously, don’t bow your head to life. You were built for this.

9. Their opinion won’t pay your bills, or build your dreams. They won’t always see your vision. Not everyone is supposed to.

10. Failure isn’t a tattoo. Learn how to take the Ls and move on. Adapt and overcome.

11. Getting this money, and doing good, aren’t mutually exclusive. You just have to be clear on your non-negotiables and stand by them.

12. You don’t have to ask for permission to be excellent. Go for it.

13. “Everybody eat’s b” – Ace Boogie. Seriously, we can all get what we want to out here. Helping people doesn’t make you a sucker. Do have boundaries though.

14. There is absolutely nothing wrong with working for someone else (even if you’re from Harlem), but it pays to think like an owner. Signing the front of a check is very different than the back.


16. If someone knocks you for your 9-5, they (1) aren’t your friends and (2) they don’t know about your 6-10. Keep going.

17. Start owning when you can. Pay yourself first. These loans ain’t loyal.

18. We don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You’re excellent and it’s perfectly okay to still be warming up.

19. Try to take care of yourself. I love Popeyes, but what we put in ourselves can actually kill us. Exercise, eat well, and get active. Put some $$ on your jumper, and invite your team out!

20. Learning how to cook is a great look. Seriously. Watch a couple Youtube videos, hit Home Goods, and start cheffing.

21. “Someday” is never going to show up on the calendar. Write that book, send that tweet, record podcast. Don’t opt out, especially not right now.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Health At Every Size lately, and why it’s so crucial to me, especially as someone with a chronic illness that causes my weight to fluctuate a lot. 

First of, I think I’ve come to find that my take on HAES is very different than what the anti-HAES people seem to think it is. 

My simple take on the movement: Focusing on living a healthy lifestyle without the main goal being weight loss. Meaning eating responsibly, and as healthily as possible while being accountable for what I put in my body. Being as physically active as is safe for me at the time, and pushing my limits when I’m able to. Using exercise and physical activity to help with mental health as well. A good ballet class is far more effective than any therapy session in my book. 

It is absolutely not anti weight loss. Over the past year and a half I managed to lose 50 pounds, but now that I’m having heart issues gain, I’m having issues with fluid retention. Before anyone chimes in saying my problems are from clogged arteries from a crappy diet, I’m so sorry to disappoint but my latest cardiac work up showed no blockages, no calcifications, no plaque, no coronary artery disease whatsoever. It’s all arrhythmia problems from autonomic nervous system dysfunction. (and believe me, cardiologists do not sugar coat ANYTHING, as it should be.)

In the past two months I’ve probably gained and lost 15 pounds 3-4 times. Somehow my overall weight trend is down, but daily, even weekly it’s all over the place. I *have* to weigh myself daily to keep track of it. And damn if it doesn’t drive me crazy. And while I know it’s physically impossible to gain 5 pounds of fat overnight, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t mess with me. If I could walk away from the scale forever I would, but I know it’s necessary to keep track of things. It’s enough to make me want to give up some times.

But I can’t. I know I can’t. If I gave up on trying to be as healthy as possible, it would be a death sentence. I’m completely convinced that the reason I’ve managed to tolerate my heart issues as well as I have is because I’ve done my best to be as physically active as I have. 

If the *only* measure of success I used to measure my habits was weight loss, I would have given up a long time ago. 

You cannot give up on healthy habits just because you’re not losing the weight quickly.You cannot give up because you gain a few pounds. You cannot give up because your body is not acting the way you think it should. 

This idea of treating weight loss as the ultimate reward for being healthy is one that has to change. A healthy lifestyle is its own reward, nothing more, nothing less. The benefits of attempting to be as healthy as possible still show in your body whether or not you lose weight. 

That’s not to say that you won’t lose weight or that losing weight is bad, but it should absolutely not be the penultimate measure of one’s health. 

The tldr version: My version of Health At Every Size simply means attempting to live as healthy a lifestyle of possible without using weight loss as the sole measure of health. 

It really is as simple as that.

You do not have to prove your mental illness to anyone. You do not have to be “sick enough” in order to feel what you are unfortunately feeling. You do not have to go to great lengths to explain why you feel this way. You do not need an explanation for your feelings. If you find the courage to tell someone what you are going through and they hastily dismiss your problems as no big deal, it is most certainly not your fault. Do not allow someone’s incredulity to invalidate you.

I’ve said this three or four times since the election, but I think it deserves its own post.  I’m sorry you’re angry, scared, upset, and lonely.  You don’t deserve that.  I’ve spent a lot of my time encouraging people to step up and stand for the people around them, even if you are scared.  But there’s something equally important that needs to be said.

If you can’t fight, don’t be upset about it.  Not everyone is in the position where they can do it safely, or in a healthy manner.  Should you still help those in trouble around you?  Absolutely.  But you do not have to do what others (even me) have been doing.  You do not have to put yourself out there if you feel it’s unsafe.  This does not make you a coward.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  Do I encourage you to take a chance?  Yes, I do.  But only if you feel safe.  Endangering yourself will help no one.

I’ve been the target of hate, name-calling, and other types of online harassment (a little in person as well, but less because I’ve been a hermit for days).  And I know that not everyone has the mental ability to deal with that type of hate.  That’s nothing to be ashamed of.  You’re not weak.

One Easy Tip For Recovery

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Boyfriend Series - iKON: Junhoe (Junhwe)


- He’d probably be like sweetest thing to you

- And the sassiest if we’re being honest

- Number one concern, you

- Always worries about your health no matter what

- Like he can see that you’re perfectly fine health-wise and he’ll freak out if you sneeze

- Cuddles into your tummy and holds you tight

- Kisses your nose a lot because he likes how you scrunch up your nose afterwards

- Calls you randomly just to check up on you

- Sings for you when you’re having a lot of trouble sleeping

- Granted, his words would be slurred from how tired he is but still

- Gives you his jackets when you’re cold while being a diva about it

- Gets sassy when you’re not paying attention to him

- Throws the dirtiest looks whenever you’re sassy back

- You two would end up having a pillow fight because he threw a pillow at you when you got extra sassy

- Hugs you from behind so he can rest his head on yours (or if you’re tall, so he can rest his head on your shoulder)

- Doesn’t say ‘I love you’ much but makes sure you know he means it whenever he does

Originally posted by alittlepessimistic

I hope you like it- Admin Sunshine

You have probably thought a lot about coming out to your family and friends. But what about coming out to your doctor, nurse, or other health care provider?

Why should I come out to my health care provider?

It’s important to be open and honest with the doctor or nurse you see regularly. The more they know about you, the better care they can give you.

Coming out to your provider is about more than just telling them your sexual orientation or identity. It’s about being honest about what you do sexually. If you’re open with them, the two of you can talk about what you need and skip the things you don’t need.

How do I know my conversations with my provider will be kept private?
You have rights as a patient. Most health care providers are required by law to keep your information confidential. However, if you are underage, specific laws about what doctors have to tell parents can vary from state to state.
If you are concerned about confidentiality, you can ask about a health care provider’s confidentiality policy. Health care providers are used to answering questions about privacy, so don’t be too shy to ask. You could just say, “Is everything that we talk about going to be kept private between us?” If the answer to this makes you nervous, you don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to. You might also want to think about finding a new provider who makes you feel more comfortable.

What should I say?
Usually, providers will ask if you’re sexually active. This is your chance to be open about what being “sexually active” means for you. Don’t worry, you don’t have to say every little detail. Here’s what’s helpful for them to know:
• How many partners you have and their gender(s)
• What kind of sex you have (oral, vaginal, anal, or other)
• Whether or not you use protection like condoms or dental dams
• If you’re there for a regular checkup and they don’t ask you if you’re sexually active, you can bring it up. It might be easier if you start with a question like “How do I know if I need an STD test?” This will give you both the opportunity to talk more about your sexual health.

If this conversation doesn’t go well, you might want to think about finding a new provider. Everyone deserves to have a doctor or nurse they can trust.

Where can I find an LGBTQ-friendly provider?
You can ask friends for recommendations, or contact your local LGBTQ community center. You can also search the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA) directory online for providers in your area.
Your nearest Planned Parenthood health center can also help you get the care you need, whether it’s sexual health information, cancer screenings, testing and treatment for STDs, breast health services, and more. Planned Parenthood is proud to provide health care, information, and referrals for the LGBTQ community.

Reasons to smile

A couple could be reuniting at this very moment and hugging one another ever so tightly
A baby could be smiling a gummy smile to its parents for the first time
Someone could be taking the first bite of their grandmother’s homemade cookies
A child could have just successfully came out to their family and received nothing but support
A person could be walking away from a toxic relationship and starting their life anew
A struggling author could have just gotten their book published for the first time
A student could have just received their report card and saw nothing but good grades
A child could be getting pushed on the swing set
A college student could have just made it safely home to visit for Thanksgiving
A child could have finally gotten adopted by loving parents

A friendly studyblr reminder that your health matters more.

If you feel like your body doesn’t add up to the motivation anymore, give yourself that well-deserved rest. Make yourself a hot chocolate or a cup of tea, go to bed for at least for a few hours, and watch a movie. Or even take a long, long nap if you can. Do what it takes to build yourself back up. You deserve it. And if you really want to study, then pick up one of your text books and read them from the depth of your bed. Don’t take notes, don’t overthink it. Just read through it like you are reading an actual novel or article. Still : if you are really tired, the best thing to do is to lie down and close your eyes.

Your health is more important than anything. I understand that a lot of us have exams and deadlines coming up, but at least try to give yourself an eight-to-ten-hours night. It’s so important that you take care of yourself, especially in those times of pressure.