your grandparents

irisvanya  asked:

Person A is an immortal stuck in a teenager's body, and has to put up with living in a house full of actual teenagers. Person B is one of those teenagers, but also person A's ex-girlfriend's grandson. They don't get along. What would their fights be about?

Assuming person B knows that they are an immortal, and their grandmothers ex, it would most likely be about her. stuff like “You remind me of your grandmother.” or “You know, my grandmother used to call you a huge a-hole, now i know why.” or “God I am so happy you didnt end up as my grandparent.”/ “Don’t talk to me like that, I could have been your grandparent.” 


If B doesnt know they’d probably argue about more mundane stuff like cleaning around the house, laundry, groceries, curfews, boundaries, stuff like that. “You ate my brownies! They had my name on it!” or “Could you please stop leaving your clothes everywhere” or “stop having sex on the couch, people sit there!” or “hurry up and get out of the bathroom! I need to shower!” 


some-other arguing points varying between the two: 

1. “You know, when I was your age, I actually had some manners.”


2.” Shouldnt you respect your elders?” 


3. “If you tell me one more story about your ‘golden days’ I swear to god I will rip my ears off.” 


4. “Tell me one more war story, I dare you.” 


5. “These are things no one should ever have to know about his grandmother please stop talking.”


6. “Back in my day…” “Oh my god, shut up, I don’t care.” 


7. “I have been stuck in puberty for hundreds of years, I can complain as much as I want.” 



I hope you like them! If you need anything else, dont be afraid to ask! 

anonymous asked:

Miss can I please have a "being Wanda's and Thor's child would include"?

Originally posted by imagine-that-marvel

Originally posted by chrisshemsworth

Being Wanda’s and Thor’s child would include…

-          It was actually surprising when they got together, so a child was even more shocking. But everyone’s happy for them.

-          You’re half royalty, half Sokovian, so you definitely have a mix of cultures in your life.

-          Your parents will always make sure you visit Asguard at least once a month to see your future kingdom, your grandparents, and even your uncle Loki.

-          There’s also a chance you’ll be enhanced like your mother, and if so, she’ll help you learn to control these powers.

-          Also you might be able to lift the Mjolnir, and Thor can’t wait for you to be old enough to try to lift it.

-          If you can’t, oh well.

-          But if you can? “YEEESSSS!” Thor would yell and then start teaching you how to use it.

-          Your mother isn’t impressed at your dad teaching you how to summon lightning when your like 3.

-          You’re loving it though.

-          Clint and Steve are trusted as your babysitters.

-          Uncle Tony is not. Not since the incident with the hammer and thrusters.

-          You weren’t old enough to remember this accident, but your Uncle Bruce said he’d show you the tape when you’re old enough.

-          If someone picks on you at school, Thor and Wanda would be called in. Thor would high five you before wanting to see the ‘fool who messed with his princess’ in which your mother would have to step in, reminding him he can’t beat up a six year old… especially since you’ve probably already done so.

-          You have some of both of them in you. You’re stubborn and gullible like your dad, but smart and reserved like your mother.

-          Either way, they love you, and you love them.


Hope you like it!

*Not my gifs

TAGS:  @courtneychicken  @graysonmalfoy @straightasdeanwinchester @ariennisimpressed @captain-peanut-at-your-service @imbuckypositive  @abbybills22  @insanityismysanity12345

if this gets 10 likes, I’ll do the langblr accent tag in French. also guess where i’m from.
but lol I sound out of breath kinda. here are the questions:
1)Your name and username.
2)Where you’re from.
3)Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY.
4)What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5)What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?
6)What do you call gym shoes?
7)What do you call your grandparents?
8)What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
9)What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
10)Choose a book and read a passage from it.
11)Do you think you have an accent?
12)Be a wizard or a vampire?
13)Do you know anyone on Tumblr in real life?
14)End audio post by saying any THREE words you want.

Made with SoundCloud
soundcloud.com
Accent Challenge - Tumblr
Listen to Accent Challenge - Tumblr by No Stop #np on #SoundCloud

So I’ve been seeing this around lately and I really wanted to do it so I did it! (You can hear myself getting self-conscious near the end 😂😂😂)

1)Your name and username.
2)Where you’re from.
3)Pronounce the following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Pajamas, Caught, Naturally, Aluminium, GIF, Tumblr, Crackerjack, Doorknob, Envelope, GPOY.
4)What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5)What is a bubbly carbonated drink called?
6)What do you call gym shoes?
7)What do you call your grandparents?
8)What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
9)What is the thing you change the TV channel with?
10)Choose a book and read a passage from it.
11)Do you think you have an accent?
12)Be a wizard or a vampire?
13)Do you know anyone on Tumblr in real life?
14)End audio post by saying any THREE words you want.

my dad just told me a story that back in Cuba my grandparents lived next door to a lesbian couple who my grandparents lost touch with after they fled when C.astro took power. 30 years later, my dad had to go to Cuba for a work thing and my grandfather asks him to go see them and say hi. When he went to see them, they were still living in the same location, and they were so overjoyed. They started telling stories about his parents and my dad was cracking them up with his own stories about his parents. But halfway through this meetup he pulls out a cell phone that costed a pretty penny, said fuck it, dialed my grandfather unexpectedly, and allowed them to talk to eachother after 30+ years. they were crying from sheer joy that they got to speak to their friends again who made it out; who they never thought they’d hear from again.

Point of the story? My grandparents were roman catholic latinx and managed to be 100% loving and cool with this lovely lesbian couple in a time where you’d think that would be unheard of. If they didn’t hate gays, don’t give a pass at your grandparents for engaging in homophobic behavior. “They’re a product of their time.” Bullshit. They’re bigoted and unwilling to look past their narrow minded view of the world, Susanne and you’re enabling behavior because they can’t piss the same anymore. Don’t make excuses for them. They’re old, not incapable.

just eastern european things:
  • having a drawer full of plastic bags and storing plastic bags in another plastic bag
  • uncomfortable family reunions for every single holiday where everyone brings ridiculous amounts of food and several 2 litre bottles of soda
  • having to finish your food every time because you or your parents paid for it and if you paid for it you have to eat it
  • CABBAGE
  • homemade wine from plastic bottles that your family or your uncle’s neighbours’ wife’s cousin made in the countryside
  • cheap alcohol and cigarettes
  • foreign men always coming to your country and declaring ah yes i heard that eastern european women are beautiful
  • that one relative your mom hates and who she always makes polite but slightly salty conversation with at reunions but then after a few glasses of homemade wine you know they’ll get into an argument
  • your parents’ and grandparents’ revolution/war/army stories that you’ve heard a thousand times before
  • those red plastic candle holders that melt with the candle but everyone is still buying to burn underneath a picture of jesus??
  • crochet placemats everywhere
  • ‘persian’ carpets that have been in the family forever. everyone always trips on them but there are always the persian carpets
  • your grandmother has at least one plastic statue of virgin mary in her house somewhere and at least one wood painting of jesus
  • tiny pocket-size, laminated pictures of saints that your grandmother always buys at church and give to everyone every time they visit
  • potatoes
  • the eternal fascination of every adult with the news on tv. one news hour ends? switch to another channel for the exact same news
  • the group of old women gathered outside on a bench, there is always a bench and there is always old ladies and they always tell you that you’ve grown so much since they last saw you even though it was just last week
  • the cars are parked on the sidewalks, the cars are parked on the street, to the point where you’re not exactly sure where you’re supposed to be walking
  • there is always a queue and it’s always eternal
  • growing tomatoes
  • a bowl of plastic fruit??
  • your grandparents giving you money for your birthday ‘to buy yourself some cakes/sweets’ and you having to pretend you don’t want it ‘no come on you don’t have to’ before inevitably accepting it ‘you really didn’t have to thank you’ 
  • spending that money on cheap alcohol
  • as soon as it hits 24 degrees everyone is out grilling food, in the back yard, in the park, in the cemetery, on top of a soviet-time apartment building…
  • SAUSSAGES
  • these plastic things on every table always in godawful floral or fruit patterns

and finally

  • weird shit like this
Signs as childhood things:

Aries: oblivious and unstoppable giggles among you and your friends about each other’s weird drawings.

 Taurus: cuddling your mother at night, when there is a nasty storm outside. With you listening closely to the rain. 

Gemini: getting a brand new bike, and being able to peddle it, and riding as freely as you wish. Even sometimes having your mum or dad run after you. 

Cancer: letting your creativity flow to the top. And imagining adventures with your best friends. Adventures that now may seem surreal to you. 

Leo: going utterly crazy, and not caring at all, just jumping and skipping everywhere. Living in your own world and by your own rules. 

Virgo: baking cookies with your grandparents, and after trying one yourself, running to everyone in your household to give them a cookie and to see them smile. 

Libra: Going on a day trip with your family. Either an amusement park or a historical museum and liking the social atmosphere. 

Scorpio: when you accomplished your first goal, either in a sports team or as a personal thing such as being able to read your first book and understand it. 

Sagittarius: Joking around with your friends and thinking that this day was your favourite one, because of those moments you believe you won’t forget. 

Capricorn: when you started a new obsession or hobby, that includes when you read your first big book series or when you felt like plain thinking. 

Aquarius: Getting your first ever pet, and observing it eagerly, not being really sure if you can touch it or if the pet will even like you. Keeping a strange distance between the pet and yourself, yet being intrigued. 

Pisces: hazily looking up at the sky, and questioning its existence, and then jumping onto a swing, just to imagine and feel what it is like to fly.

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
5. Do you know a hoarder?
6. Can you do a split?
7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
9. How many countries have you been to?
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?
14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
18. Did your mother go to college?
19. Are your grandparents still married?
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?
23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?
24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
25. Is your father bald?
26. Do you know triplets?
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?
30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?
35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?
36. Can you whistle?
37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?
40. What medical conditions do you have?
41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
43. Where do you buy your jeans?
44. What’s the last compliment you got?
45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?
50. Why do you have a youtube?

this tag was not created by me.

{Final Chapter: PART 30} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; N/A.

“And in the end, he had everything he had only ever hoped of having; her, only her - for the rest of time.”

Warning: Although this chapter doesn’t have an M rating, there are some scenes of slight mature/sexual content.

This is the final chapter to this series! If you would like to read my author’s note, I have placed it at the end of this post after the chapter for those who wish to see it~ Thank you, and I hope you enjoy IWSY’s final chapter ^^

{Part 1} // {Part 29} {Final Chapter: Part 30}

Keep reading

musical theatre gothic

•it’s tech week. it’s so hot under the lights. you haven’t been home in four days. you’re so sweaty. you’re so miserable. and it keeps getting hotter. is it hell week? or just hell?

•the sound effects don’t work. the sounds don’t work. the sounds you make don’t work. you open your mouth and try to make a sound. it doesn’t work.

•your makeup is too orange. you try to scrub it off, and then you realize it’s already gone. this is what your face looks like.

•you try to take off your character shoes. you realize that they are now your feet.

•you can only speak in your character’s accent now. you don’t remember what it’s like without it. haven’t you always spoken that way?

•people dressed all in black are always hurrying by. they never slow down. once, you bump into one. they have no face.

•your prop is missing. you begin to doubt you ever had a prop in the first place.

•someone is napping backstage. they cannot be woken up.

•your leads are dating now. your leads are married now. your leads are parents now. your leads are grandparents, are retired, are dying in each other’s arms. it’s only been two weeks.

•"we need to get this down by opening night,“ barks your director. you’re always working towards opening night. opening night never comes.

unpopular opinions/facts
  • if your grandparents/parents are transphobic/homophobic, please be patient with them. They’ve been raised with values that we just don’t uphold anymore, and some of them are stuck in their old ways.
  • Women aren’t all innocent and good by default, the same is true with men
  • There have been many female pedophiles, as well as rapists, they just aren’t incarcerated at the same rates as their male counterparts.
  • If you refuse to have sex with someone because of their race, orientation, gender, appearance, weight, genitals, or anything of the sort, don’t feel guilty
  • you can, indeed, be racist to white people. Not called reverse racism, just racism.
  • please don’t force your fucking animals to be vegan with you. Dogs, cats, etc, they need meat!
  • if you are a trans guy that goes out looking like the opposite gender (long hair, makeup, female clothing, looking like society’s version of a female while actually being male), please don’t go off on someone if you get misgendered. Same goes with trans girls.
  • ‘you can cosplay whoever you want, regardless of the character’s race or gender
dutch gothic
  • You go to HEMA for office supplies. You go to HEMA for bed sheets. You go to HEMA for bread. You go to HEMA always, for everything, every day. There is no other shop. There is only HEMA.

  • You cycle to school. You cycle to HEMA. You cycle to your friends. You cycle to the big city closest to your tiny town. You cycle to the train station. You cycle to your grandparents. Your bike has broken down more times than you can count, yet, you keep cycling.

  • You take public transport to somewhere too far away to cycle. You’re inexplicably unnerved by this fact. You look out the window and you spot a mill on green stretches of land. You see another mill and another mill and another. You’re approaching the city center. Still, you see mills. You accept this, as everyone seems to do.

  • You enter Utrecht central station. You wonder if you are on an airport. You walk along the platforms, heading for platform 1. You don’t notice 6 and 10 and 13 are missing: no one ever does. And if they do, they don’t question this. Hours pass. You’re still walking toward platform 1. You thank god NS makes sure the trains are always late, so you’ll make it just in time. You arrive at the platform. “+10” it days on the sign. You sigh. You wait another 10 minutes and look again. “+20”, it says.

  • At the end of the basis school you take The Test. Your parents are more nervous than you. They tell you this Test dictates your entire future. The news tells you the same in a grave, slightly more ominous voice. You’re twelve years old.

  • When you’re in middelbare school, you notice the seniors suddenly disappear for approximately two weeks each year to perform a secret ritual in the largest room of the building. There are signs outside of this room warning you not to enter. You are frightened as the years pass, senior year coming increasingly closer; your fate uncertain as you finally enter the Forbidden Room. You cry. It’s the two most nerve-wrecking weeks of your life.

  • Everyone wants to go on holiday to the united states. Only a few chosen (read: rich) go. You ask them how it was and they tell you strange tales of shops other than HEMA, such as “target” and “costco”; of guns on display in supermarkets; how no one owns a bike. You stare, shaken, in disbelief and shock.

  • It’s the first real day of summer. It’s 20°C and kind of cloudy. You go to the beach. Everyone goes to the beach. You’re stuck in traffic for hours: everyone is headed for the same beach.

  • When you get to the beach, the water is cold as ice and there are jellyfish in the water. There are jellyfish on the sand. There are jellyfish in that shallow pool over there. There are jellyfish everywhere. You come back the next day. The jellyfish have vanished.

  • You’re sitting in the sun under a half broken windscreen. A few meters away, a boy is digging a hole. This means that the boy is german, you’ve learned. You look to your left. There, another german man digging a hole. And another. You smile ruefully. What would the beach be without germans digging holes? This is all very normal.

  • You go on holiday to another country. People think you’re german. You’ve accepted this. People always think you’re german. I’m Dutch, you say. They don’t understand. They laugh. You’re from germany right? They ask.

  • Stroopwafels seem to have built an international reputation. Foreigners adore them. You don’t understand. They’re cookies. Very good ones, yes. But the adoration for anything Dutch is something you cannot grasp.

  • There is a song about a guy named Herman reading in the newspaper that the man he’d sold his car to has crashed it and died. Everyone think Herman is dead, though. This makes him very happy. No one questions this fact. No one wonders if he tells his family he’s alive. No one asks who identified the body. Everyone knows the lyrics to this song.
like real people do p.2 | jungkook

summary: the feelings for your friends with benefits are changing. months pass, and you feel your gut telling you that you want more. you’re just not sure if he feels the same.

college student!reader, friends with benefits!jungkook

piece 1, piece 2, piece 3

this component is based off russ’s cherry hill

Keep reading

Emergency guide for langblrs

I thought i should make this guide with suggestions for people who:

1. Don’t always have internet.
2. Go somewhere where there’s no internet.
3. The internet is slow/barely working in their area.
4. People who want to be prepared.
5. Others that i can’t think of now.

Everything I’m going to say works offline so in case the light went out for a couple of hours and you don’t know what to do to practice your target language, here are some suggestions.


Notes!

You should have a notebook with grammar in it and it doesn’t really matter if you just copy-paste an entire grammar book. (However it would be pretty good if you actually pay attention to what you write otherwise you’ll have to work twice. 1st you copy-paste then you have to figure out what’s important and what isn’t and that takes pretty long time.)

Alternatives

  • Print a book. try to find a place where the printing is cheap. Usually these are small bookshops or so. Take a walk around the town and check out many places or ask friends of yours, maybe one of them knows a place.
  • Buy a book


Print some lists with verbs and their forms. 

I’d suggest you guys to always have a list with irregular verbs. If you have time you can actually make a big poster with their forms and practice them daily (or just look at the poster, after a while you remember what you wrote) or keep it for days with no internet so you can study them.

Alternative: you can download a PDF but if you have no light for hours, your phone/laptop will die pretty soon and you might need them for more important stuff.


Always have books, magazines, comics in your target language. 

Now, it doesn’t matter if they are PDF or physical. My tablet has comics in Danish in case i have no light and i’m bored. It’s pretty handy to have something to read.


Idioms all the way~ 

You might be a beginner so you didn’t really want to learn idioms usually because you think they are “too advanced”, however, it’s no harm to have 2 packs of flashcards at you in case you want to play a game.
I said 2 packs so i should explain why. 1 is in your target language while the other is the translation. Put all the cards with their writing facing the rug/table/book/whatever and turn them 2 at the time. If the translation is the right one for the other card, take them out or leave them with their “face” up, if not, turn them again and turn 2 cards again. 

pro tip: have a list with the pairs since you don’t know the meaning of the idioms.


Dictionaries

You can buy one/download a pdf or use an offline dictionary. I’d recommend using ProDict or BitKnights Ltd. You need internet only for 5 min to download all the content and then your app is good.


Movies/series

Try to have at least 2-3 movies in your laptop or on a flash stick/USB. Now, if you stay  1 month at your grandparents, you might learn the lines of these movies but at least you used your listening skills.


Music

I’m pretty sure 95% of langblrs have at least 1 song in their target language(s) but i’m still going to say this. When you’re bored, these songs will save you, also, singing improves your pronunciation.


Apps that work offline

Pocket - basically, you need internet at first (the app has to download the content and you have to log in) and after, you have to save a few stuff. The app allows you to read articles offline. It saves the page and you can acces it later.

While you are at a computer you “save” the page through the browser’s extention and they will be added to the app from your phone.

50Languages - just like every app i’m going to mention, you need internet only at the beginning. This app has games, audio, vocab. I like it for the fact that the audio is really good. As you guessed, it’s for 50 languages.

Fun Easy Learn - it has a version for words and one for phrases. The app has 7 games and you have to play them all in order to have “learned” the vocab.

Memrise - everyone knows it so i won’t say anything else than the fact that you can download a couple of their courses. (i’m not sure if for ios you can download them but i know that on os you can)

Learn - this app has audio and vocab. The game for “teaching” is more of a way of testing you after you learned the words but it’s still pretty handy.

Learn Languages - this app is built to work hand in hand with 50Languages and i just love them? So, you use 50langs for the audio and LearnLanguages tests you for what you know. If you don’t know a certain word or phrase, the app will send you notifications with what you don’t know and its translation. You set the timer (15min, 30min, 1h, 3 h).

If you have words that need to be learned and you don’t know how, Quizlet might be a good option since it has different games and also a flashcards option.

Questions

If you by any chance don’t understand something, write it down. Try to have a notebook or a paper only for questions. When you have internet again, use HiNative or ask a native friend of yours.

I'VE BEEN SEEING A CRAP TON OF MYSTIC MESSENGER EVERYWHEEEEREEEEE BUT IT LOOKS COOL

Hi, I’m new to Mystic Messenger!

Sooo, I found a let’s play sort of thing and I’ve just watched the first chatroom and thought I’d share my first impressions on the characters with you.

If you’re a Mystic Messenger fan, you’ll probably find it kinda funny since I’ll probably get a lot wrong.

So read on…

Jumin:

‌• Kinda has this facial expression that’s like your grandparents when you try to explain to them how to use their smartphones but they aren’t getting it.

‌• Dresses classy as heck

‌• Looks like he stepped out of an old black and white film.

‌• He’s clearly rich.

‌• Crazy cat lady alert

‌• Probably had tea with the queen of England once

Zen:

‌• Kinda scary with those red eyes

‌• I wouldn’t want to leave him alone with anything important, I don’t trust him.

‌• Smug little smile there

‌• Ponytail

‌• If he went outside while it was snowing, you’d never see him again, he’d just camouflage and you’d lose him.

707:

‌• If a hipster and a gamer drank a crapton of carrot juice and then had a kid, it would look like 707.

‌• Abuses the term ‘lol’. I’m not even joking, he uses it like 50xs in 3 sentences, there needs to be an intervention.

‌• Internet troll/hacker

‌• Laughs at his own jokes even when no one else does

‌• Probably lives in like one room with the blinds closed.

‌• Coolest looking out of them all tho

‌• Secretly wants to steal Jumin’s cat

‌• I bet he likes memes

V:

‌• Does he ever take those sunglasses off? Has anyone ever seen his eyes? Does he even have eyes?

‌• Dan Howell pastel edit.

‌• Too cool for school

‌• Still got teen angst

‌• So dang skinny

Yoosung:

‌• 100% sure Juuzou from Tokyo Ghoul is his evil twin.

‌• He’s definitely the happy optimist

‌• Precious cinnamon roll

‌• I bet he has a tragic past he doesn’t deserve

‌• I didn’t know guys even wore barrettes

Jaehee:

‌• I thought she was a guy at first?

‌• How do you pronounce her name? Jay-hee? Jah-hee? Yay-hee? Yah-hee? Yahoo search?

‌• The smart one that wears glasses

‌• No messing around or beating around the bush kind of lady

‌• Bet you 50 bucks she has a briefcase

‌• I bet you another 50 bucks she’s smacked Zen over the head with said briefcase


Aaaaand those are the only characters I’ve met so far. Will update if you guys think my interpretations are funny and want more of this. XD

Fever*

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Featuring: Vision, Tony, Bucky, Thor, Clint and Natasha, Wanda, Rhodey (all three mentioned).
Rating: Explicit - 18+ only
Summary: Reader surprises Steve, throwing a 40’s themed party to celebrate his 99th birthday at the compound with the other Avengers’ complicity.
Word Count: 3.8k
Genre: NSFW/SMUT
Warnings: mild swearing, some fluff, mentions of alcohol/hangover, lingerie fetish [?], slight Dom!Steve, light dirty talking, oral sex (male receiving), uniform kink - (clothed sex), exhibitionism/outdoor sex, neck holding and semi-protected sex. - This fic assumes Reader is on the pill. [No glove, no love!]
Author’s Note: Happy birthday to the first successful - and our all time favorite - super soldier who turns 99 this year! xxx The title is a reference to Fever covered by Peggy Lee, which inspired me a lot when I wrote this. Enjoy.

   New Avengers Facility

Placing a hand on your hip, you stared at the ballroom decorations inspired from the forties. With the help of every Avenger, you’d spent the past couple days, working on the hall of the Avengers compound as your grandparents had also gladly gotten involved in your surprise for Steve’s birthday.

They’d told you everything they could remember about their time in that era and gave you the best indications on what you had to do to bring that famous portion of the twentieth century back into our modern times.

They remembered a lot and their help made everything look perfect. You were beyond grateful. From the improvised ballroom and the private quarters, everything was subtly decked out, and it looked like as though it was straight out of a movie set. The guests arrived in appropriate forties attire.

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Mixed Black African Girl (Cameroonian/French)

I’m a mixed black african girl who grew up and lived most of her life in Cameroon, in Central Africa. My dad is half-white (french) and half-black (cameroonian), and my mom is 100% cameroonian. There’s little to no black african characters in popular fiction, which has always bothered me, and it would be so nice to read about someone like me for once.

  • Culture and food

Cameroon is a country created during colonization, with borders defined by europeans. Because of that, Cameroon is actually made of 200 ethnic groups, each of them having their own language and culture. So the culture and daily habits vary a lot depending on which region of Cameroon you are in. In the big cities, though, everyone is mingled no matter where they’re from. However, so many different ethnic groups cohabiting together often causes tension. There are also a lot of stereotypes about every ethnic group.

I grew up in the central and coastal areas of the country, and I’m Bassa. The Bassa are one of the main ethnic groups in Cameroon. If your parents are from two different ethnic groups, it is decided that you officially belong to your father’s ethnic group. My mother is Bakoko but my father is Bassa, so I’m the latter. When I meet another Cameroonian, two of the first questions we usually ask each other are : What are you (meaning, what’s your ethnic group) ? and Where is you village ?

Villages are very important in the Cameroonian culture. Your village is where your father’s ancestors were born. Even if you’re not born there, you usually have grandparents or great-uncles or family friends living there, and if you have enough money to do so you must regularly visit your village. And usually, when people earn enough money, they send money to their village so that people living there can have a better life, build more houses and schools etc.

Cameroonian food is very diverse, and varies depending on the region. The national dish is Ndolé, a dish made with ndolé leaves, stewed nuts, and meat (fish, beef or shrimps). Other common foods are bobolo and miondo (food made out of fermented manioc), soya (spicy grilled meat on skewers), and plantain. My dad is half-french though, so at home we eat almost as much french food as cameroonian food (crème brûlée, shepherd’s pie, beef bourguignon, A LOT of bread and cheese).

  • Language

There are hundreds of different languages, but the official languages are French and English. Cameroon was colonized by France and England so Northern Cameroon mainly speaks english and central/southern Cameroon mainly speaks french. Most people also speak their ethnic group’s language. I don’t know how to speak Bassa, though, because neither do my parents. When me and my siblings were kids, our dad asked our baby-sitter to teach us, but she could only do so much and I only remember a few words.

  • Beauty Standards

Like most countries, there is a lot of colorism in Cameroon based on European beauty standards. When you’re a woman, the lighter you are, the prettier and more desirable you are considered. Dark skinned women are often mocked and considered not as pretty. A lot of people, mainly women but also men, use dangerous products to lighten their skin. Internalized racism and white beauty standards are very insidious, and a lot of people want to look like white people, including me when I was younger. As a kid I remember wishing i was a pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed white girl like the heroines of the books i was reading. Growing up I stopped wishing that, but I relaxed and straightened my hair a lot, wanting to have long straight hair without realizing that it was still an attempt to look like the ideal version of a white girl. I’m sure that if I had more black female characters to relate to when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have spend so many years hating myself without even realizing I was doing it.

Also, Cameroonians usually consider thick, curvy women to be the ideal beauty standard. But being thin is still an ideal broadcast by the media (especially that american and european media are heavily broadcast and consumed in Cameroon) so most women still diet a lot and go to the gym to lose weight.

  • Clothing

Women wear a lot of skirts and dresses, be it casual or for work. Most cameroonian schools have uniforms and mandatory hairstyles (either cornrows or short shaved hair).

Elderly people often wear more traditional clothes and outfits. The most prominent traditional item of clothing is the Kaba. The Kaba is a long dress made of wax fabric and other materials and is owned by pretty much every woman. The dress looks different depending on the situation : the Kaba you wear when you stay at home is usually very long and very loose, the Kaba you wear during official/formal events is more tight-fitting and stylized, etc.

  • Dating and Relationships

I’ve never dated anyone, but when I was in high school none of my friends ever told their parents they were seeing someone. Having your parents know about and meet the person you’re dating after only a few weeks or months is something that just doesn’t happen (unless someone gets pregnant). It’s when things get serious that you introduce them to your family. Also, a lot of parents would prefer their children to marry someone from the same ethnic group.

Homosexuality is still illegal there, and you can go to jail for being gay.

  • Home/Family life

My parents are still happily married, and I have 3 siblings. My parents are both close to their siblings, and I’m close to mine. Me and my siblings grew up with our cousins, we were always at each other’s houses. I pretty much consider most of my cousins as extra siblings. We have a very big extended family and every day I discover new distant cousins, aunts, great-uncles etc. My dad being half-french, when I was growing up we sometimes went to France during summer to visit his relatives living there.

In Cameroon, most people who have enough money to do so send their children to study abroad once they’ve graduated high school. I’m currently living in France for my studies, and most of my high school friends are also going to college in France, England, Canada, Brussels, South Africa etc.

  • Identity issues

Despite being only ¼ white, I’m very light-skinned. My siblings being much darker skinned, when I was a kid I thought I was adopted (i’m not, it’s just genetics). Cameroon being a black country, when someone is visibly mixed and light-skinned as i am, most people just label them “white”. A lot of people would refer to me as “the white” and it always really hurt me. My family wouldn’t understand why i was so angry and hurt, they’d say “they don’t mean anything by it, it’s just that you’re light” but the fact is it made me feel like i don’t belong. I’m cameroonian, i’ve lived in Cameroon almost my entire life, i’m black, and still some people see me as “other”, they see me as white. And so for a long time, I didn’t dare to call myself black, I’d say “I’m biracial” or “I’m mixed” instead because I somehow felt like a fraud. But I’m black and not white-passing at all, and I still experience racism abroad (but I’m aware I have a lot more privilege than dark skinned people).

  • Daily struggles

So I’m currently living in France. On one hand, sometimes white people are racist toward me, or just totally obnoxious and ignorant, trying to touch my natural hair and thinking that people in Cameroon don’t have computers or whatever. On the other hand, when I randomly meet other cameroonians and we start talking, they always assume that because i’m mixed i’ve lived my entire life in France and i don’t know anything about Cameroon. And there’s nothing wrong with being a child of immigrants and not knowing the country your parents or grandparents came from, but i know that if i wasn’t visibly mixed they wouldn’t question the fact that i know Cameroon and lived there my entire life.

  • Misconceptions

Because of how the media depict African countries, a lot of people think that everyone in Africa is extremely poor and starving, that we don’t have electricity and internet and that everyone lives in huts. Which is so false. We have rich people and poor people, we have huge modern cities and regular cities and small villages with huts, almost everyone has access to a tv and internet, etc.

  • Things I’d like to see less of

Cameroon and other african countries being depicted as poor unfortunate countries where everyone is starving and illiterate and waiting for the generous white people to save us. What we need is for people to see us as the humans we are, and to allow us to grow in peace.

  • Things I’d like to see more of

Black african characters being written as the complex human beings we are. Shy black african characters. Nerdy and hella smart black african characters. Mixed black african characters who struggle with their identity. LGBTQ black african characters.

  • Tropes/Stereotypes I’m tired of seeing.

The “savage”, “uncivilized” african. African characters who are aggressive, dumb and shout all the time. The poor africans in need of saving by white people.

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