your face is terrible

The funniest thing to me is that moment in a show when a character has just died in some tragic way, and it’s just like the saddest thing ever and everyone is bawling

Then you go backstage and they’re just sitting there scrolling through their phone because now they have nothing to do for the rest of Act 2

Adulting 105

This week I’m giving a shoutout to my fav person ever @poorpersonsgiude. You go girl! Also @stormfallss for lighting up my phone for over two hours the other night. Thanks for the love.

1. Keep paper bills. Bills such as internet, rent, and utility for up to five months. These help prove residency, which will be useful when applying for Medicaid, in-state tuition, and for some jobs. If you’re not receiving any sort of paper bills, keep pay stubs with your address on them instead.

2. Cheap salt. Never spend more than a dollar on salt. Seriously. Chain supermarkets and dollar stores will sell large quantities of it to you for 99 cents. You’re not the Queen of Sheba- you don’t need $5 salt.

3. Wooden floors. If any part of you apartment/dorm room has a wooden floor, consider buying Bona Hardwood Cleaner. It’s a little pricey, but my last squeeze bottle lasted me just short of a year. It’s the best wood cleaner around.

4. Postage stamps. You don’t have to go to your local post office to buy stamps (which is great because sometimes it’s not “local” at all). You can purchase them at pharmacy centers like CVS or Rite Aid, as well as large chain supermarkets such as Stop & Shop and Walmart. 

5. Moisturizers. Pick up at least one moisturizer to save your hands during these long winter months. If you’re a newbie just buy Gold Bond, it’s cheap and good for everything except your face. 

6. Shower heads. If you have a terrible apartment shower head with no water pressure buy yourself a better one. There a color changing shower heads on Amazon that I personally swear by. Just be sure to keep the original shower head and to replace it when you move out.

7. Keep your student ID card. Even after you stop attending school. You’ll still be able to receive student discounts at places like museums and cinemas. They have no way of knowing if you’re still a student. What are they gonna do- call your school? I do this all the time! 

8. Yankee Candle. Is so expensive, but it’s the only candle really worth buying. I’ve tried all sorts of discount candles from dollar stores and even from Target, but none of them smell even half as good as Yankee Candle.

9. Reminders. Forgetting important things such as bill payments, birthdays, or contraceptives? Set alarms and reminders on your Iphone to help you stay on top. I personally hate the Iphone calendar app so I downloaded Cozi (it’s free) and I use that instead.

10. Clean that fridge. Try to purge your fridge out at least once a month. There’s nothing more disgusting than food so decomposed that you can’t discern what it once was. The general rule of thumb about leftovers is if you don’t eat it within the next two days you won’t ever eat it. Try to give your fridge a sponge bath every three months, the shelves are easy to remove and I just wash them in my sink.

Muñeca.

Paring: Bucky Barnes/Hispanic!Reader.

Warnings: SMUT. Reader being a HUGE flirt, spanish, talk about books and music in spanish, fingering, sofa sex, Bucky using some words in spanish. Alcohol.

Word Count: 1881.

Rating: 18+.

Masterlist.

Apparently some people in this fandom (read White People) have a problem with authors writing for readers of color, since I am a real Bitch and I’m fresh out of fucks I decided I was gonna write not one, but two POC Reader inserts, this is one of them. The next one is gonna be Black!Reader and Bucky. This is dedicated to that anon @papi-chulo-bucky got last week who was crying about Haunting Me being a POC reader insert and, of course, to all the other bitches who want to complain about POC!Reader inserts being discriminatory towards White People.

Yes, I’m The Queen of Salt.

Tagging; @sexylibrarian1 @thecrownedrose @erisjade @bladebarnes @ryverpenrad @acunningstargazer @palaiasaurus64 @marveldcmistress @supernatural-girl97 @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19

I mention my dad’s favorite book “Love in the Time of Cholera” by Gabriel García Márquez, you should check his books out.

Also, mentioned in the fic this argentinian group (hey! @connieisland) called Soda Stereo here are two songs one and two

And the lyrics are from this song by a Venezuelan rapper called Reis Belico.

Wow. This was long. By the way, Muñeca means doll.


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Midnight Talks Pt. Three || Peter Parker Imagine

Originally posted by juliechavira

Word Count: 1,322

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Part One     Part Two

He turned and smiled at you, “Hey Y/N.” As the two of you walked across the tile floor together, you started contemplating about inviting Peter to your house tonight. Reaching his locker,you built up the confidence to ask, “Do you want to, maybe, come over to my place tonight to study or something?”

The students in the hallway were quite noisy but all you could hear was Peter’s lovely voice. Not in a good way though. He froze. The girl of his dreams was asking him to hang out. Together. His hopes at spending time with you were quickly shut down as he remembered his new ‘night job’.

“I, I would love to but,“he said while scratching his neck,“I have that internship with Mr. Stark tonight-” He stopped when he saw you blush and look at your shoes. You took his pause as a chance to retaliate, “No, I,um, I get it. Priorities right?” You nervously chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as he just held the door of his locker. You were slowly backing away, wanting to leave the embarrassing situation.“I’ll see you around, Peter.” You turned around, fleeing to your own locker. Peter stood there at his locker, taking out his books. On the soon closed door, he leaned his head against the cool metal, regretting the mistake he just made.


You threw your backpack on the floor and jumped onto your bed face first. Laying flat on your face, you thought about the terrible day you had. You just cried. Rolling over onto your back you realized that nothing ever went your way. The tears kept streaming down your face before you sighed, not feeling motivated to do anything. You decided to wrap yourself in your blanket and sleep.

It was dark outside when you finally woke up. You went and ate your dinner before deciding to call it quits for the day. You practically crawled back to your room. When you got inside the room, you turned around to quietly shut the door. All of a sudden, a clothed hand covered your mouth which muffled your screams of terror and a hand wrapped around your waist. The person removed their hand from your waist to make you turn around. You then came face-to-face with your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. He slowly removed his hand from your mouth, as he saw you no longer struggling against him.

You steadied your breath before speaking sarcastically,“Seriously, man? I thought we were friends.”

Spider-Man looked at the ground ashamed, “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just, I didn’t want you to scream but, you screamed anyway so it was kind of pointless.” He was fiddling with his fingers. You sighed, “It’s alright, I was just shocked.” The two of you stood there for a minute before he broke the silence.

“I brought you flowers,” he said, pointing to the bundle of flowers that he placed on your bed. You smiled and walked over to get them. “Do you like them?” He asked as he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. You smiled wider as you started messing with one of the flowers, “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

He walked over to you and sat on the floor, leaning on your bed like the first time you met. You put the flowers back on the bed, bent down and sat next to him as he put his head in his hands sighing. “You don’t look so happy. What’s wrong?” You asked him sympathetically.    

“I have a crush on this girl, and she is just so amazing. But, I think I’ve ruined any chance I had with her.” He said with a low, sad voice, “I just don’t know what to do.”

You put your hand on his back to be supportive. “I know the feeling.”

Spider-Man quickly dusted of his sad emotions, “How was school?” He quickly composed himself. “Um,” you scoffed out of pity for yourself, “horrible. I think I ruined my friendship with Peter, had a surprise quiz in my least favorite class,and I didn’t have time to eat lunch because I was too busy avoiding my friends.” You were on the verge of tears again. You looked up, trying to keep the tears from falling. Spider-Man looked slightly shocked. The strong girl that he knew was about to break down.

He moved his body to a comfortable position where he could hug the sad girl. He wrapped one of his arms around your waist, for the second time that night, and placed his other hand to cradle your head. Small tears leaked from your eyes, which slowly started to soak his suit. You both sat there in a comfortable silence for a while, just in each others company.

You  started to pull away, making Spider-Man pull away too but he stayed in front of you sitting on his shins.“I want you to know, that you’re the highlight of my day, Y/N.  You motivate me to go out and keep helping people, everyday. Without you, I’d be lost.” He spoke with such passion and adoration , placing his hands on both of your cheeks.

You were confused. “But, w-we just met. How can I motivate you if-” before you could finish your sentence, he pulled back. The man looked deeply into your eyes before placing his hands under his chin, on the edge of his mask. He took a deep breath before peeling the mask off of his face.He kept his face down, but only for a second.

He looked up into your eyes. Your mouth was opened slightly, from shock. “Oh God,” you whispered, more to yourself than to him. You glanced down at the mask in his hands before looking back up at him. “Peter, what- why- I, how the hell are you Spider-Man?” You asked still in shock.

“It’s a long story. But, everything I just said, I meant every word. You mean so much to me and, things would suck if you weren’t in my life.” Peter said, dropping the mask to put his hands back onto your cheeks. He looked deep into your eyes, and you could see that he meant it all.

“That’s why you said you couldn’t come over.”You chuckled. “I told Spider-Man, that, that I have a crush on you. I literally told you, oh wow. That’s kind of embarrassing.” Saying this made Peter laugh lightly. You enclosed your hands around his neck, pulling his face closer to yours. You felt his breath fan out over your skin. He leaned in closer, closing his eyes and tilting his head before crashing his lips down on to yours. His lips were soft, and the kiss was passionate.

The two of you pulled away to take a breath of air. “Wow,” he said, eyes slightly wide which made you laugh.

“Do you want to go out with me, maybe?” He asked with a wide grin. “I would love to Spider-Man.” You replied with a smile mirroring his.


The next day at school, you found Peter, standing alone at your locker on his phone. You smiled with a blush, remembering last night. “Hey.” You said approaching him.

He looked up from his phone to see you, putting the device in his pocket, “Hello gorgeous.” He greeted you as he pulled your hips towards him so he can place his lips on yours once again. He didn’t care that there were people everywhere, he just really wanted to kiss you.

Down the hall, Michelle and Ned stood dumbstruck. “I knew it,” the two teens exclaimed in unison as they saw their friends passionately kissing. Ned pulled out his phone and opened his camera. “What are you doing?” Michelle asked. Ned smirked, “Taking a picture to show their kids.”

tagged dudes

@wiccanjr @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @miraisnotavailable

nellynee  asked:

Reasons why Orochimaru is a really interesting pick for a "sent back to childhood body" timetravel fic. 1. Oro's definition of "fixing this" is probably way different than the general population of canon and of the readers. 2. Gets bored easily and fucks things up more because being a chess master kinda sucks when you know all the moves for sure. 3. His frustration at the inevitable things. 4. his decisions are based at least based 50% on how he can swing his ascetic to be as creepy as possible.

“You took over Iwa?” Jiriaya demands, strangled.

Orochimaru inspects his nails, already tired of this conversation. “They were planning another war. And I was bored.”

Jiraiya flails wordlessly, face shading towards puce, and Orochimaru actually leaves off cleaning the dried blood from under his fingernails to watch him, somewhere between amused and nostalgic. He’d forgotten just how entertaining it was to be Jiraiya’s teammate rather than his enemy. 

With a sound like a dying cow, Jiriaya rounds on their other teammate. “Tsunade! He’s being even creepier than normal! Make him stop!”

Tsunade rolls her eyes, but her expression is closer to calculating than anything else. “Tsuchikage?” she asks thoughtfully. 

Orochimaru smirks at her. “Kumo is three days from here,” he points out, “if we move quickly. And you would look ravishing in yellow.”

“NO,” Jiraiya tells them both loudly. “No, we are not taking over any more countries. Hime, get that look off your face, it’s a terrible idea - “

“Sakumo is willing to take Kiri,” Orochimaru says over the top of him. “And I believe Dan would make a splendid Kazekage.”

“Keep Jiraiya as your concubine and we have a deal,” Tsunade says, grinning, and cracks her knuckles. “Ending a war before it starts? I think my grandfather would approve.”

Well. Likely not of their methods, but Orochimaru is sure Tsunade knows that as well as anyone. He casts a glance over Jiraiya, mostly for show, and then arches a brow. “I could be content with those terms.”

Jiraiya throws up his hands. “Sensei is going to kill us. You realize this, right? We come back from this mission and we’re dead.”

“Not if we come back as Kage,” Tsunade points out. “Last chance to be a concubine.”

“I hate you both, why do you always make my life harder,” Jiraiya bemoans, but he stalks over to Orochimaru’s side and throws himself down next to him. “Fine. I will be the prettiest, most successful concubine ever. I will knock your damned socks off with how good I am. But you’d better keep me supplied with writing materials, got it?”

The warmth of him is strange and foreign but also deeply familiar, Orochimaru thinks, leaning into his bulk with a faint smile. He can feel the sigh Jiraiya heaves, but the arm that circles his back is gentle, fond. 

“When the hell did you start wearing your hair in a bun, anyway, Orochi-teme?” Jiraiya huffs, fingers skimming the nape of Orochimaru’s neck.

“Do you like it?” Orochimaru asks whimsically, putting a hand up to touch the loose knot. “I just woke up one day feeling rather like I was…a new me.”

There’s a pause, and then Jiraiya leans in to press a kiss to his temple. “You’re creepier than ever and I mean that,” he says. “But…I guess I like this new you a hell of a lot.”

“I think I rather like it too,” Orochimaru agrees, and smiles as he curls his fingers through Jiraiya’s. 

Delta (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Pt. 7  A/B/O

A/N: ALRIGHTY YALL! This one gets a lil wild!  😭 But it was super fun to write! I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah ❤️ By the way, I added in a hidden Marvel character, let’s see if you guys can find them! (;

Warnings: Angst. Swearing. Sex. Violence. NSFW.

Series Masterlist

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Preference 06: You Get Hurt

Bran Stark:

Originally posted by primogenial

  You were both riding around Winterfell when you had hit a branch and fallen from your horse.

  “She’s awake, my Lord.” The Maester said and Bran nodded to Hodor who picked him up, and carried him into the room.

“Set him on the bed, Hodor.” You spoke weakly, smiling at the two as the giant obeyed, “Thank you.”

  “Hodor.” The man said with a smile as he left and you turned to Bran and grabbed his hand. But before you got the chance to speak, Bran cut up off.

  He squeezed your hand and sighed, his lip trembling slightly as he said, “I’m sorry..”

“Bran you did nothing what are you sorry-”

“I couldn’t do anything but run.” He spoke sadly, “All I could do was run and help, leaving you to get kidnapped or killed or-” You hugged him tightly and shushed him.

“Bran… You couldn’t have done anything else. You saved me.” You kissed his forehead and he moved up so your lips were touching. He smiled against  your lips as you pulled apart.

“I will never let you get hurt again, my darling Y/N. Never.”


  Joffrey Baratheon:

Originally posted by gameoftoasts

“Were in the seven hells is she?!” The King exclaimed as soon as The Maester told him. “How could her guards let this happen?”

“In her room, your grace.” The old man spoke with compassion, “She is recovering and is hardly harm-”

“And the men who tripped her? And broke her? Where are they?”

“In the dungeons.” His mother said, “Awaiting your word.”

“Take me to my lady.” He demanded the Kingsguard who served as his new favorite and the man nodded, leaving without being dismissed from anyone else. He bolted in unannounced and grabbed your hand, kissing it then kissing up your arm. “My lady.” He sighed brushing hair from your face. “Are you terribly hurt?”

“No, your grace.” You smiled gently, squeezing his hand, “Just a broken ankle. I should be up and walking again within a fortnight.”

Joffrey scowled, “How dare those bastards! I’ll have their heads!”

“Joff.” You sighed, taking his hand, “Please tell me you haven’t-”

The boy scoffed, “Not yet.”

  “Please don’t…” She spoke softly, “Let them go. Please.”

Joffrey sighed angrily, standing and giving an unheard order to the guards and then sat back besides his lover. “If it pleases my lady, it shall be done.”


Jamie Lannister:

Originally posted by gifthetv

He ran to you as soon as you fell, pulling you to your feet, this caused you to giggle a bit.

“It is just a tiny cut on my leg Jamie.” You sighed, looking into his beautiful Lannister green eyes, “You do not need to panic.”

“A tiny cut on your leg that rendered you unconscious for two days.” He scoffed, “I still don’t understand why think you should go into battle.”

You sighed, not sure how to reply. Yes, your leg hurt bad but you knew you couldn’t stress him more than he already was. Not caring how Jamie would reply, you went with the truth.

“I couldn’t sit by and do nothing.” You sighed softly, “I couldn’t sit by and let you die. Even if that meant a sword slicing my leg. Even if that means death.”

Jamie smiled slightly and picked you up, causing you to laugh as he peppered your face in kisses.

“I don’t think I am going to let you down.” He sighed when he stopped, his forehead touching yours as he whispered on your lips, “Regardless of if you are going to battle or if you are going to braid your lady’s hair.”


Jorah Mormont:

Originally posted by jornerys

“By the seven-!” You whined as the skin blistered and fizzed.

Daenerys had left you in charged of her three baby dragons and naturally, while you were petting one, the big, black one spat fire at you in jealousy. Jorah, upon hearing your screams of pain ran into the room and demanded the dragons be put back in their cages and fed.

Jorah looked you up down, taking his hand bellow your chin to meet his eyes as he began to tend your burn.

He started by pouring alcohol on it, this burned and caused you to cry out and Jorah shhhed you, putting the ointment onto the burn which soothed your cries and wrapping it up an leaf bandage. Then he engulfed you in the tightest embrace you could imagine.

“I’m sorry to worry you.” You sighed, kissing his chest, “It didn’t hurt that bad.”

“That was the worse burn I have ever seen. I haven’t seen flame caused the skin to bubble and fizz like that before. You had a reason to cry out.”

You nodded and placed your arms on his shoulders, “I know. I just hate seeing you all worked up and panicked.”

He smiled and ran his hands through your hair and smiled, making vows to never leave you with the Queen’s dragons again.


Jojen Reed:

Originally posted by valyrios

  “Let her be.” You spat at the men. “She is nothing. A peasant compared to what I am.”

“Aye?” The man stroking Meera’s cheek asked, “And who are you girl, a highborn bastard?”

  “I am Y/N Bolten. The last true born daughter of Roose Bolten. I am unmarried and remain a virgin. Still I am more than you will ever be and see… At the moment.” You spoke numbly as the men stared at you in shock, “This is Meera and Jojen Reed. The cripple is Bran Stark. I am more than they will ever be. I’m the Princess of the North. Tell me, what would my father do should you return me, the Stark boy, and the Reed children to him?” He raised his eyebrows, “They would bind you to me.”

Slowly, they walked to you and undid your binds while another let Meera down and threw her to her brother. Then he struck you so hard you fell to the ground. You winced as you heard a cry of panic from all your friends (A “HODOR” from Hodor) even from Bran to your surprise.

  “Do you honestly think I care about who-”

You spat in his face, “We flay people. That’s what we are known for. Bring me home and my father will-” He struck you again, this time causing you to cough blood as he drew a dagger and pushed you to the ground dragging it against your skin. But you did not cry. “Is that supposed to hurt?” You laughed, blood spilling from your busted lip “I’ve done worse to men like you and they cried for their mothers.”

With an angered sigh, he tore your shoulder furs off and threw them to Bran. Then he dove the knife into the pads of your shoulders, slowly removing a chunk of your skin as you cried out in pain. He then continued with the other blade as silence fell. That was until Jojen laughed.

“Whatcha laughing at boy?” He said, moving his leg off you, “You want me to hurt her more?”

“You are going to die tonight.” Jojen laughed. “Your body will burn. And she will live. And remain an unmarried virgin until I ask her.”

  The man echoed his laughter, “And how do you know this?”

  You heard screaming outside but blacked out before you got sense of what’s going on.

“She’s waking up now.”

  “Damn. I was hoping that she would be out for this.”

A burning sensation spread through your body and you gasped in pain, sitting up. “No, my love.” Jojen came into view, pushing you back into the snow, “Squeeze my hand.” You obeyed as Meera closed the wounds on your shoulder with flame.

You didn’t cry or even tear up. You just smiled at Jojen and looked into his eyes.

“You are doing well.” He smiled at you, “One more…. One more and I promise that I will not let anyone tough you again


Jon Snow:

Originally posted by fuckyeahhousestark

"Okay I’m going to to pull it out are you ready?”

You hugged the tree and nodded as his hands met the arrow that had plunged through your stomach and nodded.

  “Alright.” He spoke calmly, “One. Two-”

“Damn just do it already!” You cursed and suddenly felt an ache being removed from your chest and a hole inside your body as Jon quickly began to wrap your center up while you cursed. Jon imeadiatly shhed you as your curses sailed loud. “Hurry I want milk of the poppy.”

Jon smiled lightly and picked you up in your arms, “You cursed like a Greyjoy, you do know that right?” Hiting him gently before leaning into the warmth of his furs, you allowed him to cradle you like a child as you muttered curses against his skin.

“It’s not funny.” You whimpered, “You take an arrow. See how it feels.”

“I did.” He smirked. “Three and I am still alive.”

“Oh shut up.” You glared and he laughed. “I love you Jon Snow.” You sighed in defeat.

“Aye. I do love you as well. And I promise not to let you get hurt on a hunt again… Or maybe your hunting days are at an end…”

“Jon Snow..” You glared, “If you dare threaten to take away my hunts you’ll be the next one taking an arrow through your gut.”


Tommen Baratheon:

Originally posted by young-owlet

Tommen winced and cried as they plucked pieces of glass from your leg.

“Tommy.” You sighed gently, stroking his face and running his around, “I am alright. They are almost done.”

He nodded, thanking the Maesters for their help as he turned away, stiches being sewn up your leg and Tommen squeezed your hand fiercely as he whined again. He closed his eyes and brought your other hand to his palm as he attempted to breathe in attempts to calm your sobbing.

When the door closed you moved him to the bed, slowly and brought his ear to your lips. “They are gone my love. You may open your eyes.”

He did not hesitate to hug you tight. So much it made you wince. You chuckled.

“Careful now. We don’t want to tear the stiches.” Tommen sighed in agreement and let go and he looked at you, running his hands through your hair which learned had calmed him down. “Why are you angry my love?”

He bit his lip and shook his head, “I am pissed that the servant couldn’t even bother to look where they were-”

You kissed his lips softly and he responded with his anger, hands trailing down to your waist.

“That wasn’t you Tommy.” You sighed, hugging him as you stroked his back, “You aren’t him Joff.”

Nodding he kissed your neck, his face laying on his lower neck. Then a chuckled and smile spread across his lips.

“I guess it means that I can’t let you leave my side again.”

You smirked and laid on top of his head, “If it pleases his grace, it will be done.”

Theon Greyjoy:

Originally posted by sleepingwiththe-light-on

You gasped for air as you were yet again plunged down into the waves.

The people on the deck screamed and hollered in shock as you looked for the Greyjoy’s or the Queen.

Never thought this was how I would die. You sighed as you were forced gasp of air as the sweet sea began to fill your lungs. Caving into your inevitable death you closed your eyes and embraced the darkness. Let it be quick and merciful please.

But deep down you wouldn’t be as you could feel yourself choking on the water as it slowly itched the breath and life out of you, making you cold and going insane in the water.

I am sorry Theon. I hope you can forgive me.

Bright light shined into the pupils of your eyes causing you to begin to cough up water, fading in and out of consciousness as Theon pressed his lips to yours, breathing oxygen into your lungs as the darkness took over you.

“C'mon Y/N!” The weak and breathless voice of Theon spoke, “Please… Please..”

You gasped and coughed as Theon sighed happily and brought you into his arms as you began to sob.

“I won’t let you go. Not like that… Not on my watch..”


Tyrion Lannister:

Originally posted by netflixruinedmylifeimagines

“Are you in a lot of pain my lady?”

You looked up at him, a small smile on your face and shook your head no. Sighing, you grabbed his hand and brought it to your lips.

“What even happened? The Maester would not tell me.” Tyrion asked, concern filling his eyes, “I am sorry for prying. I know I shouldn’t I just-”

Kissing his hand again you chuckled, “You have a right to know and pry my love. And you must promise should I tell you that you will not go and take rash actions.”

Chuckling at this, he grabbed your hand than already wasn’t holding yours and stroked your knuckled, “Rash, my love? I would never.” You echoed the laughter and squeezed his hand.

“It was Joffrey, my love.” You sighed, your face falling, “Bashed me against a wall. But I am going to be okay… I promise. I haven’t gotten a concussion or anything yet. I even slapped him.. I think…”

Tyrion scoffed but forced a smile, “So you wish me not to strike him to Esos, so I shalln’t. I am just happy that you are ok-Wait you hit him?!”

Hate To See You Go (Grayson)

Summary: Based off of this ask. You’re a teacher at Grayson’s daughter’s kindergarten and it’s Mother’s Day.
Word Count: 4,463
Warnings: Actual daddy!Gray. Daddy kink (if you squint).
A/N: I swear, I received this ask 3 weeks ago and it’s still stuck on my mind. So I hope you like this, leave feedback if you want to!! This turned out to be longer than intended, yikes xx


The first time you saw Grayson Dolan was when his daughter, Penelope fell off a swing during recess and scraped her knee. She’d cried as you stroked her hair, pointing at her bloody knee while telling you of how she’d tried to stand up on the swing, her foot slipping in process which had caused her to fall off. It wasn’t that bad. In fact, it was a small scrape but it still made your heart squeeze in your chest when you looked over her tear-stained face, her hand squeezed into a small fist as she rubbed her eye.

You’d taken her to your own classroom, calling her father in the process. His voice had sounded deep and it kind of shocked you for a moment. It had been two months since the term had started and Penelope had been brought to kindergarten by her Aunt Cameron. You’d been so curious as to why her father was never around, but Penelope had explained how her father was working early hours and he never had time to take her to preschool; which, you never frowned over that because there were plenty of parents who worked their butts off, having a relative or even a nanny drop their children off in your classroom.

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I was randomly thinking about fan fiction (as one does), and I was thinking about how a common complaint I see is that the problem/conflict in the story is miscommunication. And I just got to thinking, I don’t know how everyone became such great communicators, but that shit seems pretty real to me. It’s hard as hell to tell someone you’re in love with them when you’re not sure they return your feelings. Shoot, to this day I have never done that in my life. You either tell me you have feelings for me first, or it won’t be happening. Or like friends who have feelings for other and never say it, um yes, that’s me, too. Fighting about shit that isn’t actually the thing you’re upset about? Oops, also me. So anyway, writers that write miscommunication? I’m here to read your stuff and face palm at them being terrible communicators and say, haha been there, my friend. Been there. 

It’s night, and we’ve set up camp. Our gnome rogue comes dragging a deer, and our half-giant fighter brings back a bundle of fish. Our Tiefling sorcerer finds nothing. Looking to roleplay, I as a human ranger offer to cook. I’ve got a rabbit under my arm.

Me (OOC): I’m going to salt some jerky, cook the fish, and make a rabbit stew.

DM: You each get 25 pounds of jerky, which you put in your saddlebags. Tell me how you’re preparing the rest.

(Here we fall into character.)

Me: Let me see those fish.

Half-giant: Why? I don’t think I trust you, especially not your goodberries.

Gnome: I gave him my deer!

Me: Don’t worry. Grand Stag is a wonderful cook.

Me (OOC): I fillet the rabbit and fish, and prepare a broth from the bones. The rabbit goes in first.

Half-giant: Maybe I doubted you, that is starting to smell delicious!

Me: Now, let me just add in this fish you’ve caught.

Half-giant: Um, are you sure? I don’t think that is going to pair very well!

Me: Trust me, I’m a wonderful cook.

DM: Repulsive. I’m going to have you roll for that, just to make sure it’s edible.

Success.

DM: (Sighs). Well, he begins to ladle out stew into your bowls, and you gratefully have the first spoonful. The broth is warm, just the right consistency, and you can taste the savory marrow which permeates the liquid. It binds well with the rabbit in your second bite; the meat melts away in your mouth, your shoulders relax, and you smack your lips in delight. But you wish you stopped there. The fish, God, the fish, it takes you by your shoulders and smacks you in the face like your alcoholic father, and screams “AHHHH!” Grand Stag is a terrible cook.

Tiefling: Dinner is on me next time, actually.

Me: What? Allergic to- ouch! I bit my tongue!

At least I got an inspiration point.

Sleep does not come swiftly to those
like me who sit awake late into the
morning, with nicotine tattooed into
their fingerprints and beer water-falling
down their throat. This has never been
a romantic way to live; a face full of
worry lines way too young, hands
always shaking even without a trigger.


I wonder if you know how your
silence screams in my sleep,
how your face still appears in
these nightmares I so terribly
want to call dreams.

—  claustrophobia // Haley Hendrick 
BTS reaction to your american friends not understanding why you would date a  Korean

Jin:

He’d be more than upset. Point blank. He would have created this whole idea of your friends loving him as much as you do and even spent the weeks in advance learning english so he could hold conversations with them. Although you defended him with all of your heart to your friends it didn’t stop him from closing himself off in your room.

“Oppa, please come back out. Its not the same without you there.”

“Theres no point if they don’t like me.”

“Well they’re just going to have to get over it aren’t they.”


Yoongi:

Anger is the only feeling he would hold. He knew the girls surrounding the two of you probably didn’t think he understood them since a lot of the conversation was being translated by you, but he understood every word. Nevertheless he would stay by your side though and squeeze your hand as you told the girls to shut up. He so was thankful you decided to leave early where he was taken back to your house to your dad, who did his best to communicate without you. 

“At least your parents like me.”

“They are the only ones who matter.”


Namjoon:

Since language wasn’t a barrier everyone was really nice to his face. It wasn’t until he excused himself from the kitchen did your friend start her interrogation. “But why? You could have anyone here, why would you choose someone not only thousands of miles away from us but also of a completely different culture.” Despite you shutting your friend down Namjoon stayed in the kitchen where your mother comforted him. He looked at you with sad eyes but still managed to press a smile as you walked frustrated into the kitchen. “Y/f/n is leaving.” You would say pulling him into a hug. 


Hoseok:


Hobi would be torn apart. Even though he tried his hardest to keep a composed smile while talking to your dad, he couldn’t help but let his eyes continue to  wonder over to you and your friend in the middle of a heated argument “Don’t worry about that, Hoseok. We like you more in the three hours you’ve been here than we have in the ten years of knowing that girl. You’re here to stay.” Your dad would tell him poking at Hobi’s chest while your mom nodded beside him. You walked over after your friend had stormed out and wrapped your arms around Hobi’s waist, sighing when he wrapped one around your shoulders. “I love you so much you know?” 


Jimin:

You wouldn’t even entertain the conversation your friends were hinting at and when one said “But a Korean? Really? What about that guy you dated before you left. He was so tall and handsome”  you would ask your friends to leave before following him back to your room where the two of you were staying. He’d be pouting with good reason and would try to avoid your eyes but secretly appreciated it when you took ahold of his chin and forced him to look at you. “Forget them. If they can’t see how happy I am right now and how head over heels I am for you then I don’t want to be their friends.”


Taehyung:


The comments from your friends would probably go right over his head and he’d just laugh along with your friends while you crossed your arms and started to grow angry. As the girls continued to put down Tae you would eventually snap and tell them to leave, not caring if you made a scene at the welcome home party your parents had thrown for you. The rest of the party Tae acted concerned, not fully understanding why you were upset and would end up forcing you to tell him. “My friends are assholes and they can’t see how much I love you. All they see is someone who isn’t a college football player who goes by the name pork chop or something stupid.” You said throwing your hands up, feeling terrible as Tae’s face dropped and he thought about what you said. You waited as he shook his head and his sweet smile found his lips again. “You love me?” 


Jungkook:

Kook would just smile and excuse himself, leaving you to deal with your friends. He didn’t think your friends not liking him would hit him this hard but he couldn’t help but let his head fall into his hands. If your friends didn’t like him maybe that meant you didn’t really have feelings for him. He couldn’t help his tears as the thought of you leaving him took over his every thought. When you walked in to see him so vulnerable all you did was kneel in front of him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Please don’t leave me.” He’d whisper sniffling. You couldn’t help but feel hurt. “Kookie.. Its them that need to leave. Im right here.” You said moving your hands to his cheeks to wipe a tear and place a sweet, loving kiss on his lips. 

Stole My Heart

Summary: The five times the universe appeared to be against you when you wanted to ask Peter out.

Word Count: 2,622.

A/N: After reading @bovaria‘s fic, “The Five Times Bucky Picks You“, it inspired me to write something along those lines with Peter instead. Although, I decided to do my own spinoff and give it a slight twist. Hope you enjoy :D

Originally posted by spiderholland

Keep reading

you should watch crazy ex girlfriend:

  • it has lots of musical numbers!!
  • it’s ridiculous and fun but also touches on important subjects; it’s very self aware while being entertaining and not in-your-face about it
  • rebecca is the terribly flawed but ultimately likable female protaganist we’ve been waiting for
  • despite the description, it is not solely about rebecca’s relationship with josh + chasing boys; it’s about her choices and mental health and experiences and 
  • deals a lot with mental illness + societal expectations/pressures + deconstructing stereotypes/tropes
  • the “crazy” in the title is aware of and addresses the term’s misogynistic roots
  • rebecca is openly jewish
  • diverse cast
  • there is a lot about women’s relationships + their difficulties; no one-dimensional, unrealistic ships here. it explores jealousy, frenemies, enemies-to-friends, mother/daughter, platonic, etc
  • there is a bi dude who sings about being bi and repeatedly describes himself as bisexual + addresses bi stereotypes
  • you should watch it for father brah alone. and heather

basically: it’s a really good show and needs more viewers. there’s a couple slow episodes early in the first season but if you can push through them, it’s worth it

anonymous asked:

Do birds make you more attractive to the opposite sex?

This is a difficult question to answer specifically, because obviously, and statistically, birds make you more attractive to literally everyone. Are you a human? Have you seen this mysterious stranger with a bird? Are you suddenly and inexplicably intrigued?? Are you the opposite sex? Same sex? Any sex?? Gender? Any gender??? EVERYBODY??!? GET ON IT

Enough. 

Your path leads to indescribable destruction; much of it will come at your own hands. You will face choices with terrible outcomes, choices no one should be allowed to make. Your path leads to the end of our providence - we don’t know why. Your path is your own but our providence has touched your futures. The six of you will fall short of glory; so it is known and so it has always been known. Our judgment is decided.